The Iriduan’s Mate by Susan Trombley
Twenty-Five
Molly found Jenice waiting for her when she returned to their inner sanctum. The other woman paced back and forth in the main living quarters, clearly agitated. As soon as Molly, Mogorl, and Grundon walked in, all of them silent, Jenice started in on Molly.
“Why would you do something so reckless?” she shouted, flinging her hands up in the air as her feet carried her across the tile in another round of pacing.
Molly sighed heavily, barely holding herself together after an interminable journey back to the under-tier. Mogorl and Grundon had enough perception to respect her desire not to have a discussion at this moment, but Jenice was too angry to care what Molly was feeling.
“Precautions were taken,” Mogorl said in a growling tone, defending Molly when she hesitated to answer, still afraid her voice would shake with unshed tears.
“Precautions!” Jenice cried aloud, spinning to face them in mid step. “The best precaution would be to avoid the upper tiers altogether!” She dismissed Mogorl with her glare, shifting it to focus on Molly, who still hid her swollen eyes beneath the shadow of her cowl. “Neither of your guards know Uthagol like we do, Mol. They can’t understand the risk you truly took by going to that tier!”
Grundon flinched at the condemnation in Jenice’s tone, and the way she referred to him as a “guard” rather than by name. After all, they were all like family, and Grundon and Jenice were usually as close as siblings.
“Don’t take your anger out on Grundon and Mogorl,” Molly said in a low voice, drawing in a deep breath to steady it, already hearing the quiver of tears on the verge of breaking through her control. “Direct it where it belongs. I am the one who insisted on going to the fifth tier. Mog and Grun acted as good friends do and made certain I was protected while I was there.”
Jenice crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head as she glanced from Grundon to Mogorl, then pinned her hard glare back on Molly. “Believe me, I know whose idea it was to go meet with Shulgi. I also know that these two never give you enough pushback when you make foolish decisions.”
“You are not her slave-master,” Mogorl snapped, “nor ours. Do not speak to us as if you imagine yourself in control of us.”
Molly placed her hand on Mogorl’s furry arm, softly smoothing his fluffed hair. “Please, Mogorl, Grundon, let’s not fight amongst ourselves.” She lifted her other hand to tug her cowl off, looking up into Mogorl’s eyes, knowing her own shimmered with unshed tears. “Thank you, my friends,” she shifted her gaze to meet Grundon’s concerned eyes, “for standing by me when I needed it most.”
With a grunt, Mogorl patted her hand on his arm, then strode to his own sleeping chamber, barely sparing a glance at Jenice, who still glared mutinously at the three of them.
Grundon gently embraced Molly, hugging her against his massive, hairy chest. She breathed deeply of his comforting, familiar scent, returning his embrace.
“You deserve happiness, Mol,” he rumbled, his deep voice vibrating against her cheek, “don’t let anyone tell you different.”
Her tears dampened his furry hide and she pulled away, swiping at them as she turned her back on Jenice. Grundon patted her shoulder, then strode away with heavy steps, leaving her alone with Jenice.
“I’m sorry,” Jenice said from behind Molly, after a long moment of silence fell between them. Her hand fell upon Molly’s shoulder. “Mol, you know I love you! I never wanted to see you hurt like this. In fact, this is one reason why I didn’t want you to get your heart set on him.”
“It’s over, Jenice,” Molly said in a dull voice, swiping more tears from her cheeks. “We both know this can’t work. Shulgi has his own concerns that he can’t abandon, any more than I can abandon mine. I was a fool to think he might join our organization and become a part of our mission. I realized that when I saw how different the fifth tier is from the under-tier. Why would anyone leave such a nice place to live down here in the slums, surrounded by criminals instead of wealth?”
Jenice sucked in a deep breath. “Did he dare to tell you you’re too lowborn for him? Because if he did—”
Molly shook her head, turning around to face Jenice, feeling the swing of the gemstones on her hair ornament. “No, I don’t think he would ever say such a thing. I… I think he loves me. I think he would be with me if he could, but I could tell that even if I was free to be with him, he isn’t in the same position. There won’t be a happily ever after for us.”
Jenice’s expression crumpled with sympathy and sadness as she hugged Molly. “Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry! I know life has never been fair to you, and it breaks my heart that you can’t have the fairytale ending you’ve always dreamed of.”
Molly couldn’t hold on any longer. She broke into harsh, ugly sobs, clinging to Jenice like she would be swept away by all the tears that soaked her face. Her makeup washed away in colorful rivulets from her chin to drip onto the tile, but she still didn’t feel clean. She didn’t think she’d ever feel truly clean.
Nor would she ever be enough for a mate to choose her first and foremost, to put her before every obstacle that might stand in the way of them being together. She couldn’t even blame Shulgi for not doing that, since she’d allowed her own concerns to keep her from putting him first.
Though, she realized that if he had asked her to leave this city behind today, she would have gone with him, without a second thought, despite all that she would be leaving behind. Her heart would ache for the friends she’d end up abandoning, but she knew they would recover from her absence. They would no doubt even blame her disappearance on Sha Zaska to add more fear to his legend. In time, she could have contacted them, maybe even someday saw them again.
Shulgi hadn’t asked her to go with him to some new place, where they would both be free to show their love for each other. Instead, he’d told her he wanted her more than anything, but that he couldn’t give her the promise of her fairytale ending.
Perhaps the hardest part for her to accept was that he’d never once told her what kept him here in Za’Kluth. It couldn’t just be the business of Ma’Nah. Surely, there were others who could run the company. She knew there was something deeper there, but Shulgi didn’t trust her enough to tell her what that something was.
Any more than she’d trusted him enough to tell him the truth about Sha Zaska. She could hardly blame him for putting these obstacles between them when she was doing the exact same thing.
The truth was that they weren’t meant to be. She’d come to that conclusion while in his arms, knowing that there would never be another place she would want to be more. Even if she found love again, in some imagined future where her life didn’t revolve around a terrible secret too dangerous to share, she would never feel the kind of desperate need that she felt for Shulgi. He truly had felt like her home, until she realized that she would never be able to stay there.
“It’s okay, hon. Cry it out. I’ve got you.” Jenice’s voice had taken on a soothing tone now as she guided Molly to the sofa, settling them both down on it.
Molly felt her removing the hair ornament and the flower. She wanted to protest, feeling panicky at the thought of misplacing that ornament that had come to hold a value for her far beyond the expensive cost of it.
Jenice made a soft whistling sound as she set the ornament on the low table in front of the sofa, no doubt admiring the expensive jewelry. Then she returned her attention to Molly. “Listen, sweetie, Briana is ready to take over the primary mouthpiece role, okay. You can join me in the back, running the businesses from the shadows. It’s honestly a lot of fun, though you don’t get to do all those glamourous meetings and parties.”
She smiled hesitantly, gently wiping away the tears that rolled down Molly’s cheeks. “You know, once this organization gets enough wealth together, we can go legitimate. Maybe ‘dispose’ of Zaska altogether. Maybe we can move the whole operation save for the docks to another column, where we won’t have to worry about bumping into Uthagol.” She pushed the strands of hair that had broken free from Molly’s updo away from her face. “I swear to you, Mol. Just hang in there a little longer, and we’ll find a new home, one where you can be free to find love.”
“I already found love,” Molly said with a sniffle, turning her head away from Jenice. “I don’t want to make that mistake again.”
Jenice huffed impatiently. “Sweetie, Kuro was a scummy Urasol bastard who pretended to be someone he wasn’t, and Shulgi,” she softened her tone as Molly flinched, “might be a wonderful person, but he isn’t putting you first. You deserve to be first in your man’s life, Molly!” She cocked her head as she studied Molly for a long moment. “Are you sure you aren’t interested in either Mogorl or Grundon?”
Molly chuckled weakly, shaking her head at Jenice’s teasing. “Are you?”
Jenice grinned, shrugging her shoulders. “Maybe I was in the beginning, but they’ve become too much like brothers to me now.” Her smile faded. “I have some apologies to make to my big, hairy bros.”
Molly nodded her agreement, wishing for all the world that she could find love with someone like either Mogorl or Grundon—or both, though such couplings were rare with the Ultimen. They knew her secrets and were an active part of them, and always had her back and put her before themselves. They would be the perfect mates, if there was any chemistry that sparked between them and her.
“I think you really hurt their feelings, Jen.”
Jenice sighed heavily, leaning back against the sofa. “I know. I have a mouth that is slow to receive messages from my brain. You know I say crap I don’t really mean. I let my emotions take over and start snapping at everyone.” Jen chewed her lower lip, a worried expression on her face. “Molly, sometimes I do things when my emotions take over that I regret, and I can’t always take it back!”
Molly patted Jen’s leg, lifting her other hand to swipe a final time at the tears that had slowed from a river to a trickle. “It’s okay. We’ve all learned your quirks by now. We forgive you.” She rose to her feet, feeling a hundred years older than she was, her body aching with her misery.
Jenice caught her arm. “Molly, I just… I fucked up, big time! I don’t want you to hate me.”
Molly smiled down at Jenice, though she knew the expression didn’t reach eyes that felt like they were swelling shut from all the tears she’d shed. “I could never hate you.” She bent down to hug Jenice. “You’re the best friend I have in the whole galaxy.”
Jenice looked like she wanted to say more as Molly straightened again, but then she bit her lower lip, dropping her gaze to her hands twisting in her lap.
“Good night, Jen,” Molly said wearily. “Don’t fret about Mog and Grun. They’ll forgive you for your harsh tone. They love you as much as I do.”
“Good night, Mol,” Jenice said, worry still in her tone as Molly made her way to her sleeping chamber. “Hopefully, everything will look better in the morning.”
