Breach of Honor by Naomi Porter

60 Miranda

I ARRIVED AT the house just before ten o’clock. Will lay sprawled out on the sofa, The Office playing on the flat screen with the volume barely audible. Chinese take-out boxes and empty beer bottles covered the coffee table. I crept into what reminded me of a sleeping bear’s cave with the curtains drawn, hiding our spectacular ocean view.

Will glanced my way, then turned his attention back to the show. My pulse whooshed in my ears, mind swirling with thoughts of him and Cori together.

I could have gagged if it weren’t for my baby casting away the gutting images and giving me the courage to fight. Already this tiny person meant more to me than anyone else. I regained my composure, making my way farther into the living room. Too much was at stake for me to fall apart now.

“Are you staying here tonight?” His gaze stayed on the television. It felt like a rejection, but maybe I was just being ultrasensitive.

“Yes.” I went to our bedroom to change. “I told you we’d talk tonight,” I hollered from inside the walk-in closet.

My need for keeping to a routine didn’t stop at home. At the end of each workday, I would kick off my heels, remove my clothes, and take off my bra. Out of habit, I grabbed my French terry bathrobe. Briefly, I considered putting on yoga pants and a tee, but I shrugged the idea off and padded to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

When I returned to the living room, Will was seated upright on the sofa. The wanting in his espresso-colored eyes melted me, as they had every time he looked at me. This might have been a bad idea. I had to keep a safe distance between us, so I sat in the club chair adjacent to the sofa instead of beside him as I usually would.

“How did the wedding turn out? No fainting groom this time, I hope?” He always remembered every little wedding detail I told him. It was one of the things I appreciated most about him. The other was how he could make me laugh, like now.

I softly giggled as I remembered the groom who’d fainted on the altar last month. The bride wore a gorgeous silk slip gown, and everyone in the first five pews had heard the rip when she squatted to catch him. It was so horrible, but the laughter in the church echoed regardless as the bride cried. I’d realized that day, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t prevent all mishaps. Some were simply out of my control.

“No fainting groom this time.” I cleared my throat, once again in control.

“I’m sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.” He jumped right in with both feet, fearless and determined, except there was something different about him, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. It wasn’t the guilty curve of his shoulders he’d worn since July while trying to hold onto me. No, he seemed self-assured, more confident and not as downtrodden.

“Then why have you treated me this way?” I raised my voice to keep myself in check and not fall to his irresistible magnetism.

He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. It was his thinking pose. “I don’t know… loneliness.”

The regret in his voice sounded real. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and comfort him with love and kisses, but I refrained. I refused to be blamed for this.

“That’s no excuse. This has Jason written all over it. Ever since he arrived in our city, in our lives, you’ve been different. It’s all because of him. I know it is!”

“Jason didn’t make me do anything. Leave him out of this.”

I gaped, blinking in complete disbelief. How could he defend him? “But he influences you. He taunts you into being a rogue man, just like him. He doesn’t care about you or your happiness, only himself. And now you’ve defiled our love with Cori, the slut! And you defend him!”

“Don’t call her that!”

My eyes shot to his. “You actually care about her…” My stomach gurgled as bile crept into my throat. This wasn’t the direction I’d hoped tonight would go in.

He dropped his gaze to the floor.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that maybe he’d planned to break up with me—the cold greeting, his brooding pose, defending Jason… and Cori.

“You love her.” I choked out the three words instead of the vomit rumbling in my stomach. It wasn’t a question. I didn’t want him to confirm my fears if he did.

“No. I don’t love her, but calling Cori a slut is a hateful thing to say, and you’re better than that.”

Ah, so he’d found his moral compass for Cori, but not for me. The bastard!

My vision blurred behind a curtain of tears. “Am I? Apparently, I’m not good enough.” My voice trembled. Hell, my whole body trembled.

Will stood abruptly. His hands went on top of his head, and he paced. My nerves flared as I sensed something dire was on his mind. He wore out the floor when he struggled with a decision: back and forth, back and forth, heavy sigh, grumble, mumble, sigh. He repeated the process until he gained clarity. I’d once thought it endearing, the furrow of his brow, the tension in his jaw. But now I feared what he would tell me once he stopped pacing.

I could hear the words in my head, We’re over. I’ve moved on with Cori.

Just as quick as Will had flown off the sofa, he was on his knees in front of me. His face was inches from mine, his hands gripping my thighs, and his warm, rapid breaths reached down into my core. “I have always loved you, and I always will.” He stared fiercely into my eyes.

I shook my head. I didn’t believe him.

“Listen to me. I love you.”

I desperately wanted to believe him. God, did I want to believe him… but his actions had shown differently. Words didn’t mean anything anymore.

“I can never trust you again. I don’t believe anything you say anymore. I shouldn’t have to wonder who you’re with or what you’re doing. I’ll go crazy, Will. Crazy…”

“What are you saying?”

“I think you know I’m saying—”

“No. NO!” He cut me off. “Please, don’t do this. What can I do to prove I love you?” Pain and panic were in Will’s eyes. For months I’d seen the same look, but tonight it didn’t affect me anymore.

“Why do you even want this farce of a relationship to continue? Let’s just end it now, and you can be with Cori.” I couldn’t believe I had said that. Better late than never, but my heart was dying. I didn’t want us to end.

“Fuck! That’s not what I want! I want you. I want us.”

In that instant, he slipped his hands under my robe. Every inch of me burned with desire, feeling his warm, strong hands glide over my skin. I was a goner. If he continued to where I believed he was going, I wouldn’t refuse him. My mind screamed, stop this while my body wanted him, needed him.

Before I knew it, my panties were down and my robe wide open. His mouth went to work, doing to me all the things I enjoyed. I curled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer to my breast as he licked little circles around my nipple. I sizzled inside from the slickness of his tongue and pressed into him, begging for him to fill his mouth with my sensitive bud. And he did, just the way I loved it, rough and eager, his moans vibrating through my body and up to my ears.

This was what I wanted, what I needed, and it made me want more. As if Will had heard my silent wish, he answered expeditiously, taking me where I wanted to go. His fingers eased into my wet insides and straight for the erotic knot that would send me over the edge and into ecstasy.

“M, holy hell, baby.” Will groaned with my nipple in his mouth.

Shit, shit, shit.

How could I let this happen? Where had my fight gone?

Who was I kidding? My heart had never been on board with my plan.

I gripped my head, arching into him. The man was pure magic every wonderful, fucking time. The build inside me increased as I ground into his hand. It wasn’t more than several gasps when I threw my head back and strained against him.

A cascade of warmth, the likes of the Trevi Fountain flowed through me unabashedly. The mighty wave started in my toes and went through every part of my body up to my head.

This was us, how we had always been. Will knew every inch of me, and it killed me that I might never have this again.

After that delicious orgasm, I was done. Over it. I didn’t care what he had done or who he had done. I pushed him off me, and we tumbled onto the floor. My robe fell off me as I straddled him.

Desperate for him, I eagerly pulled his shirt off while he nipped at my dangling breasts. I taunted him on purpose, and he enjoyed every swing and tease.

Stripped down to nothing but the skin between us, Will laid me on my back and covered me with his gorgeous, muscular body. His weight on me was what I would always remember as home. I brushed my hands over his broad chest, feeling his tight pectorals, drooling over the sheer perfection above me and wanting to cry at the same time.

I loved this man so much. So damn much.

I turned my head to the side, then to the other as his flexed biceps caged me in like iron gates protecting a valuable possession.

“I love you more than anything. Do you hear me? I love you,” he told me through his kisses. I heard him, but my body had taken over, and I didn’t care what he said… and I was sure he knew it.

The heat of his tongue tortured me as he swiped a trail down my chest. I gasped, writhing with excitement as he spread me wide and buried his face in my heat. Jolted by his hunger, another orgasm formed in my core. I squirmed deliriously as he masterfully drove me wild, unfolding me slowly. My cloudy brain only registered pleasure with each lap of his tongue, working me with broad wet strokes.

I swear I might stay with him just for oral sex. Not really. I’d miss this with him, though.

I labored to breathe, panting through the build of a monster climax… then it hit. “Oh, Will!” I arched my pelvis into his face, gripping the back of his head. I held him there during the ripples that moved through my body. “I love your mouth,” I mindlessly cried, releasing his head. “I love you… I love you.” I exhaled a shuddering breath on the verge of a cryfest.

I meant it. I loved him.

He placed his hand on my pussy to help me calm from my epic orgasm, but I didn’t want these feelings inside me to subside. If this was our last night together, I wanted it to last.

I pulled him up and kissed him, begging time to stand still and for tomorrow to never come. I couldn’t get enough of his lips, his mouth… his tongue.

Recklessness overtook me when I tasted myself on him. All I wanted was to give him pleasure as he had me. “I love you,” I said once again against his mouth, “with everything in me.”

Somewhere in the depth of my core, I found my fight. A fierce determination to make Will mine again—and only mine.

If this was my one chance to change the course of our lives, I would not fail.

“Get on the sofa,” I demanded, pushing him off me.

“Why? Let’s go to the bedroom.” He nibbled on my earlobe.

“Sofa. Now.”

Will sighed as if he knew what I was about to do. Still, he did as I’d commanded and I followed him on my knees, positioning myself between his legs. I ran my hands along his inner thigh and up to his cock.

He trembled and put his hands over mine. “Baby... please.”

“Shut up, Will! I can do this. You love Cori on her knees… Well, I can do it too.”

“No, M. That’s not how it is. Jesus, baby, I’ve told you dozens of times. I don’t need this. I only need you.”

“Liar!” Hot tears welled behind my eyes, ready to drop at any second.

“I’m not lying, I swear—”

I silenced him by taking him into my warm but hesitant mouth. I’d thought about this moment a lot over the last couple of months, wondering if he was only seeking out a blow job. The memory of him in Club Rendezvous with the woman on her knees had never faded.

Out of my own desperate need to save our relationship, I had to satisfy Will on my knees. Perhaps I didn’t have to take him all the way into my mouth? Then I wouldn’t worry about gagging or the back of my throat being a punching bag.

He loves me on my knees, repeated in my head. Cori’s words pushed me forward.

I held onto him with one hand, stroking with the other, my tongue circling the head. Will’s moans and groans eddied through the air as he caressed my head. I never realized until now how much pleasuring him this way meant to me, but hearing him with his fingers in my hair and his body surrendering to my touch meant the world to me.

Finding my groove, I took him farther into my mouth. Will flinched, squeezing his thighs against my arms. It made me smile. I was doing it, and he liked it.

I followed his cue, drawing on him firmly. Then I took the big step, ignoring my racing heart and my fears. I suctioned my lips around him, tongue pressing his dick to the roof of my mouth and sucked.

“Oh fuck, Miranda!” he cried out. “Fuuuck!”

I didn’t let up, finding the perfect balance of speed and pressure. I tightened my grip around his shaft, both hands holding onto him, and closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and the sounds he made.

I couldn’t fail this time. I needed to succeed.

Suddenly, Will’s hands cradled my head firmly as he stiffened.

“Oh shit, M. I can’t hold back!” He tried to pull me up, but I didn’t budge. This was it.

Will froze beneath me as his release hit. I sucked and sucked until I felt him burst into my mouth. I didn’t let up until his body fell limp, and I swallowed before releasing him.

I sat on my knees, wiping cum off my lips and breathing through the spasms in my stomach. I couldn’t throw up. It would ruin the moment.

A shiver speared down my back and reality set in as I sat naked on the floor.

What next?

Will didn’t give me time to think or answer my own question. He lifted me off the rug and carried me to the bedroom.

“I love you, M. I know my words don’t mean anything, so I’ll show you just how much.”