Besotted by Rebecca Sharp

Miles

What the hell was I thinking?

I grunted as my truck pulled off the highway that led to Mick and Jules’ apartment in Monterey. Madison Construction had a job up here this week and, with my new living quarters, it was pretty damn easy to disassemble the tent, zip it back up on top of the Jeep, and go.

We’d been contracted through Eli to put a new deck on the back of one of the mansions and, even though we didn’t start until tomorrow, I figured distance was the best thing to put in the space between Eve and me before I closed it in a way I’d later regret.

There’d been several ‘what the hell’ moments in the past twelve hours. Like a fuckin’ chain reaction, Eve had lit the fuse at the cove, but seeing her behind the bar was when everything went up in flames.

After all that, no matter how annoyed I was by her presence, no matter how damned enticing Jill’s tits had looked nor how willing she’d been, I’d still walked with her out of the Pub only to call her a taxi and send her home in it. Alone.

What. The. Fuckin’. Hell.

Hot and willing, and I’d still had to let her down easy because the only thing that burned in my blood was Eve, and I couldn’t fuck another woman because of it.

So, instead of a lay, I spent the evening tossing and turning in my tent, uncomfortable on my very comfortable mattress, the memory of her soft curves making every inch of me hard.

First, the cove. Next, the Pub. Then, this morning…

I’d stopped in at the bakery to grab breakfast and coffee for the road, avoiding Roasters just to be safe when I was met by a frantic Josie chasing a very exuberant dog, who jumped up to greet me the second I walked in with his tongue flailing happily and tail wagging. It was only when he got down and pranced around me that I had to laugh at how the whole back half of his body swayed along with his tail, like a crazy caterpillar whose ass had a mind of its own.

With a profuse apology, Josie tried to wrangle him but he only seemed to settle when I bent down and gave him some attention while she explained who the dog was and how he ended up with her. The nine-month-old Australian shepherd puppy, though he had to weigh at least ninety pounds, had been adopted by a friend of hers. But when they got him home, the family realized their daughter was incredibly allergic, so Josie offered to take the pup until they found a new home.

“Looking for a dog?” she’d asked in flustered jest, telling me that he had too much energy for her and she wasn’t sure what she was going to do if they didn’t find a new home for him soon.

I’d stared into the happy, hopeful eyes of the friendly canine, seeing for him a life of impermanence he didn’t deserve. I knew what it was like to be wanted and then discarded at will and, all of a sudden, I couldn’t stand that thought for him.

“I’ll take him.” The words came from my mouth before I could stop them.

What. The. Hell.

And, apparently, adopting the pup, Kona, came with free bakery breakfast. Josie loaded me up with muffins and scones and two egg sandwiches, all of the edible thank-yous Kona tried to climb into the front seat to eat. Thankfully, the pet store was only two blocks over and within ten minutes, my truck was loaded with food, toys, and most importantly, treats for the damn clown.

Two dog-bacon strips later and my muffins were left in peace.

I looked in my side-view mirror to see him hanging his head out the window, tongue blowing in the wind, as his tail slapped excitedly on the seat.

I owned a fucking dog.

What. The. Hell.

At least the dog wouldn’t betray me. It was my only consolation for the level of permanence I’d just accepted responsibility for.

Maybe a dog would be a good thing. He was energetic enough to come out climbing with me. And now that it was summer, he could probably come to most jobsites, too. Maybe having this crazy mutt following me around would distract me from the woman who seemed to be doing the same.

Picking up my cell, I called Mick as I pulled up out front of their building.

“You here?” he answered immediately.

“Yeah, I’m out front,” I replied.

I’d texted my brother that I was coming up a day early for the job to check out some climbing spots in the area. To my surprise, he asked if he could join.

“Be right down.”

“I have a—” I broke off when he ended the call. Guess he was going to find out about my new addition in person.

“Hey, how was the—Woah!” Mick yanked open the passenger door and jerked back startled when Kona lunged up into the front seat to greet him. “Who’s this big guy?”

He ruffled Kona’s ears as the large puppy licked all over his arms and legs.

We’d always had dogs growing up, though my parents preferred golden retrievers to anything else.

“Long story. Just get in.”

While we drove a few miles outside Monterey, I filled my brother in on how Josie’s good deed went a little sideways and that I just happened to be at the right place at the right time.

“I thought you couldn’t have dogs in your apartment?”

Shit.

“It’s fine,” was all I could manage, hoping he’d move on. I wasn’t ready to tell him about the tent that sat packed on top of the Jeep.

Grabbing my backpack of gear, I put Mick in charge of Kona’s leash as we walked the short path that led to the rock wall inside one of the local parks.

“So, how does Carmel feel without me?” my brother teased as I began to put on my climbing shoes. “Lonely?”

“Crowded,” I replied at the same time.

“Oh yeah?” He crossed his massive arms over his chest. Even though we looked a helluva lot like identical twins, we weren’t. And Mick’s size and shorter hair made it impossible to confuse the two of us. “How so?”

I stayed silent, stepping into my harness, and finally replied with, “Lots of tourists. Female tourists…” I hoped he’d get the hint.

He chuckled and shook his head, watching as I began to position myself against the rock face. Gripping two ledges as my first foot found support. My back muscles kicked into high gear as I hoisted myself up.

“Benny said you were givin’ Eve a hard time…”

I swore as my foot that had been testing my next step slipped out from under me.

“Benny has looser lips than his patrons,” I grunted, finding a better purchase point and pushed up a little higher, enjoying the burn in my body.

“What happened, Miles?” my brother called up to me. “Eve’s a sweet girl. Pretty. Too nice for you, but that’s not sayin’ much.” My mouth thinned as I heard him chuckle. “You two looked like you were hittin’ it off at the wedding…”

His thought faded into silence, and I let it hang in the air as I focused on my task—avoiding the danger of falling.

Off the wall or for Eve?

My foot slipped again, and I bit out a curse.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down to see that Mick had unhooked Kona’s leash and began playing fetch with random sticks. At least those two would keep each other occupied.

Another ten minutes and I’d made it to the top of the rock.

It was a good warm-up for the few spots I’d glimpsed farther down the path. Carefully, I made my way back down to the ground, my heart pumping and my breathing shallow from exertion. Wiping my brow, I was about to call for Mick when Kona came tearing around the corner with a stick in his mouth, bounding around my feet in excitement.

“Alright, boy.” I gripped his head and rubbed behind his ears nice and hard as he dropped the piece of wood at my feet. “That’s a good boy,” I praised as he panted and waited for me to toss it. “You havin’ fun out here?” I nodded to him like he could nod back. “Alright, alright… I’ll throw it for you.”

Grabbing the slobbered stick, I whipped it into the air, hearing Mick’s curse as it went flying only a few inches from his head.

“Holy hell, Miles. You almost took my head off.”

I snorted. “I’d need a lot more than a twig to take off your thick skull.”

He gave an affronted look before lunging at me. There were a few minutes of friendly scuffle before we both ended on our knees, panting and laughing, as Kona, unwilling to be left out, broke up our fake fight with his insistence on attention.

“Seriously, Miles…” My brother continued on a topic I wished like hell he would have let go. “What’s wrong with Eve?” His brow furrowed. “I mean, you got in your fair share of fights way back when, but you were never the one-night-stand man until we came here. Hell, you and Amanda—”

“Mick,” I cut him off harshly, my jaw clenching even as we both continued to pet Kona. “I’m done with relationships. It’s who I am now… and it’s what’s wrong with Eve.”

With a grunt, my brother sat back on the ground, the heels of his size fifteen sneakers digging into the ground as he rested his arms over his bent knees. “What happened?”

One more ‘what the hell’ moment to add to the record.

For a long time, Amanda was the hardest thing for me to talk about—which is why we’d never talked about her. Now, I’d talk about her until the cows came home if it meant I could avoid having to talk about Eve.

“What do you think happened?” I sneered at him even though he didn’t deserve it. “All those guys… all those years… she was cheatin’ on me the whole time.”

I groaned because at that moment, Kona decided to lick my face. Like he thought I needed it. Maybe he was right.

“Shit,” I heard him murmur underneath his breath. “What a fuckin’ bitch. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Miles.”

My eyes jerked up from the furry pup in front of my face. It was no secret my brother was the more responsible, more gentlemanly of the two of us. And I was more than happy to let him wear those titles with pride; he deserved ‘em. But if there was one thing about Mick Madison, it was that his kindness extended as far as the eyes could see until someone hurt somebody he loved. Then the friendly giant turned into the raging hulk.

I’d seen it several memorable times. Mostly with our younger sister, and then recently—several times—with Jules.

And even as his fucking twin, that Mick was scary as shit.

“Christ.” He just sat there shaking his head for several long seconds, and I knew without him having to say it that he wasn’t surprised. “You two were together for like fifteen years—longer if you wanna count your kid-dates before you turned sixteen.”

Amanda Newton. She’d sat next to me from the start of elementary school because her last name followed ours, and from that moment, we’d been inseparable. First kiss. First date. First girlfriend. First sex. First every-fuckin’-thing, and with each and every first, I thought she was my last.

Turned out, I was just her last resort.

“And all those years, mostly the later ones, she was cheatin’ on me,” I growled. “And I played right into it.”

I didn’t want to talk about how I ignored every shadow of a doubt, every inkling and every question. I buried them so fuckin’ deep, I’d sooner come across the wreckage of the Titanic than find all the warning signs I should’ve listened to.

Along with all the warnings he’d given me.

Amanda had never sat right with my brother. On the one hand, it drove a small wedge between us. But at the same time, Mick was always there by my side when I decided to beat up the asshat of the week who I caught flirting with her—a situation she’d invited, I’d come to realize.

But there were things even worse than her cheating—even worse than my blissful and begging ignorance that I wore with pride because she would never do that, not to me, not after everything we’d been through together, not after how long we’d been together. Never.

But those worse things didn’t need to be mentioned. Not now.

No, forever had fucked me, and I wasn’t about to play into her clinging hands again.

That was why I stayed away from Eve—because I was her. I was the fool who’d hung every goddamn star on my forever someone, and that someone had turned around and hung me out to dry.

“I’m sorry, Miles.” I heard the hollow hurt in his voice, the one that promised he was here for me whatever I needed.

And that was the problem. Mick wanted to give things I didn’t need.

“Don’t be sorry. Just stop askin’ what’s going on.” I leveled him with a resolute stare. “Stop askin’ what’s wrong. This is who I am. This is my future… my life now.”

I sat down on the dirt, too, the weight of the memories, even a year old, still heavy on my soul. Kona took the opportunity to crawl over my lap and lay down across my legs like a weighted fur blanket.

“Jesus, Miles, you can’t really believe that. You can’t just live from one woman to the next, never settlin’ because the first one hurt you,” he insisted, anger and despair bleeding from similar eyes. “You deserve better than that.”

“Stop,” I snarled, and Kona whined at my tone. “Eve is lookin’ for the man she’s going to marry. And everything you said about her is true which is why she deserves to find that lucky fucker instead of giving it all up for me.”

I tugged out the tie in my hair, letting the sweat-clogged strands fall around my face. Still, my head and heart pounded as I spoke the bitter truth.

“I’m not him, Mickey. She’s lookin’ to settle down, and I promise you, little brother, gettin’ involved with me would only be settling.” I let out a long sigh. “So, please, just let it go.”

I didn’t want to beg, but with Mick, my brother, I knew I could.

We sat in the truth-drenched silence for a minute, both of us listening to Kona’s panting as my final words came to rest between us.

With a muffled grunt, I watched my brother push himself up to stand, brushing his hands off on the side of his shorts before he spoke down to me, “You know I’m not great with words, and I’m not goin’ to tell you how to live your life, but you’re my brother, and I need you to know that just because I’m goin’ to respect your choices doesn’t mean I agree with how you’re disrespectin’ yourself.”

My eyes shot up to his.

“So, I’m goin’ to say this once and you do with it what you will,” he warned. “I never thought she was good enough for you, not from the moment she sat down next to you in second grade, looked over and smiled at you, and then winked at me as soon as you looked away.” He paused and cleared his throat. “So, I may not be the smartest out of the two of us, but I’m pretty damn good at knowin’ who’s good people, and Eve… Eve is one of the best.”

Sighing, he planted his hands on his hips and glanced away from me. “That woman has looked at you like the moon looks at the stars—like they’re both destined to spend forever together in the same sky. And that’s even after you were your charming self at the wedding. But whether it’s Eve or someone else, Miles, you’re my brother and I love you, but I think you deserve better than you’re givin’ yourself right now.”

Kona climbed off my lap, walking circles around the two of us waiting for whatever adventure was next.

“Where to next?” he asked, extending a hand down to help me up.

When I took it, I knew I was accepting his truce. “This way.”

But his opinion about me… about Eve… there was no point in arguing with him since he was wrong. And if he saw the way she’d looked at me when I left with Jill last night, he’d know that forever with me was finally the very last thing on her mind.