Breaking Free by Isabel Lucero

11

Last nightI was in my bed, scrolling through Instagram and seeing picture after picture of Dominic. Dominic who was always within touching distance of Jay—sometimes even pressed against him.

I couldn’t even help myself when I clicked that follow button. Stupid late night decisions mixed with jealousy and enough interest that made me want to be able to see what he was up to.

I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do when it comes to Dominic. I hate that I want him as much as I do. I hate how infuriating he is and how no matter how much he gets on my nerves, I still crave to be around him. There’s something about him that ropes me in.

Before school even started, I told Renzo and Ronan about my hookup with a nameless man in a bathroom. It was the next day when I spilled my guts to them, because they’re the only ones who know about me.

Of course, Renzo gave me shit for another drunken bathroom hookup, considering what happened between us. But that’s another story. We’ve moved on from that, and he and Ronan both understand what I’m going through. Ronan mostly, since he was just in my shoes not too long ago.

When I told them about the bathroom blowjob, I didn’t expect the guy to show up to South River. I hate that I told them it happened at Grand Valley, because if I had kept that to myself, Renzo wouldn’t have put together that Dom is who I hooked up with. Now I’ll expect a call from him later asking why I didn’t tell him that the guy moved here.

For now, I focus on my food and do my best to ignore the sexy man that sits across from me, asking questions. If I look into his dark eyes, I’ll get lost in them. If I study the prominent peaks of his upper lip that form the perfect cupid’s bow, I’ll want to kiss them. If I focus on the dark scruff on his angular jaw, I’ll want to feel the scratch of it against my skin.

“How did they find out?” he asks.

I sigh and look up to the sky, not really wanting to have this conversation. “It’s a long story.”

“Lucky for me I don’t have anywhere to be for a while.”

I shake my head. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

He smirks. “You like that I bother you.”

“Why would I like that?”

“You tell me,” he says with all the confidence in the world.

He’s not wrong, but I don’t know why I like his annoying ass so much.

“Anyway, I hooked up with Renzo once. After that he met his now boyfriend, and at the time Ronan wasn’t out either. He ended up confessing to me that he liked Renzo, and we talked about our shared closetedness. Ronan eventually came out, but they’re the only ones that know.”

“So two of your friends are gay, and Jayden is bi, and you’re still afraid people will care that you like cock?”

I huff. “It’s not just about my closest friends. I don’t think they’ll care, but I don’t know about everyone else. Like the guys on the team, other friends and classmates. My family. It’s not easy for everyone. Let me guess, your parents know about you and love you anyway?”

His jaw clenches. “You don’t know shit about my family, Campbell, or what I’ve been through.”

“And you don’t know what coming out might have me go through.”

He gives a quick nod as he takes a sip out of his straw. “Touché.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes, eating our food and looking anywhere but at each other. I finally speak up.

“So, you had fun last night.”

Not a question. I can tell from the videos and pictures that he did.

His lips turn up on the ends. “I did. I’m assuming you saw all the posts.”

“Yeah.” I don’t bring up him and Jay because it’s not really my place, and I don’t want him to know how bothered I am by the idea of them getting close.

“Yeah, Jay’s pretty cool. So are his friends Olivia and Bryant.”

“You met Bryant?” I ask.

He nods. “He was checking me out.”

I shake my head and snort. “Of course.”

“I’m assuming you know he’s gay, too? Something in the water around here or what?”

I laugh at that, and his twinkling eyes meet mine as he smiles.

We stare at each other too long, because I’m already envisioning all the things I want us to do together. He knows where my mind goes, because his carefree smile falls and his tongue swipes across his bottom lip as his eyes flicker from my eyes to my mouth and back up again.

“You can pretend you hate me all you want, but I think we both know where we’re gonna end up eventually.”

“Where’s that?” I ask, my voice airer than I want it to be.

He leans in and drops his voice. “You on your knees with my cock in your mouth. Followed by you on your knees as I sink into you.”

Warmth floods my cheeks and my pulse ticks up.

“You like that idea, don’t you?” he asks, voice gravelly.

“I don’t...I...you. Umm.” I shake my head, unable to voice my thoughts.

How can I tell him I haven’t thought too much about what it would be like to have a dick in my ass, let alone his massive one. The thought scares me while also sparking curiosity. I want to know what that would feel like.

His hand moves like he’s about to reach out and touch me, but then he remembers where we are and pulls it back, and I know it was done for me.

“Fuck. The things I’d do to you. You’re just denying yourself something you’d enjoy.”

“How would I know if I’d enjoy it?”

He inhales deeply, a low rumble in his throat. “I can’t tell you how much I love how innocent and new you are.”

Once more I feel heat bloom in my cheeks.

“You’d enjoy it, Trevor. You’d enjoy everything I’d do to you. You remember how you got off from my hand, don’t you? Imagine my tongue dancing around the head of your cock. Imagine me licking you in places you’ve never thought to expose to someone.”

My dick comes to life as images flash in my head and my hand drops to my lap.

He grins, victorious.

Right before I’m about to give in and beg him to come to my house and do all the filthy things he wants to me, he stands up.

“You think about that. Let me know.” He’s so casual about it, like it’s a game to him. Like he’s not as affected as I am.

I open my mouth, gazing up at him in confusion. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. I have to go to the store before I go to work.” I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. He gathers his trash and looks down at me. “You know how to contact me if you want me.”

“Want you?” I say stupidly.

He grins. “I’m not gonna beg to fuck you, Campbell. I’ve let you know where I stand. You want me? Tell me you do.”

“You want me to beg you?” I question.

His teeth sink into his bottom lip. “Mm. That might be nice.”

As he’s walking to the trash can, I yell, “That’s not gonna happen!”

I hear him laugh, but he doesn’t turn around. He lifts a hand and gives me a peace sign. God, I’ve never hated someone so much and yet wanted to fuck them more than I wanted my next breath.