Breaking Free by Isabel Lucero

7

Because I can tellhe’s trying his hardest to act like he doesn’t notice me standing just two locker spaces away, I go out of my way to talk to him.

“Hey, Campbell.”

His shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath and it brings a smile to my lips. I spot Jayden to my left, looking up at us with amusement in his eyes before he wanders off.

“What?” he responds, not bothering to glance in my direction.

“I was thinking you look familiar. Like maybe I’ve seen you before I moved here.”

His head snaps in my direction, eyes narrowed. “You’re mistaken,” he all but snarls through gritted teeth.

The few guys nearby don’t take notice of his obvious hostility, too wrapped up in their own conversations.

“All right, guys,” Jayden says, popping around the corner. “Let’s get our asses on the field before Coach makes us run extra miles.”

“You need to fucking stop,” Trevor says as we trail the rest of the team.

“Stop what?”

“You tell me. What’s your fucking plan? You keep saying and doing these things, completely unconcerned with anyone hearing or seeing us.”

My teeth briefly sink into my bottom lip. “Well, I don’t care if anyone sees or hears me.”

“That’s the fucking problem. You’re being selfish and only thinking of yourself. I told you I’m not out.” His voice drops. “I don’t want people knowing I did anything with you.”

I slap my hand over my chest. “Ouch, Campbell. Embarrassed?” He huffs. “All right. Fine. I’ll leave you alone.”

“Good,” he says after a few seconds before rushing ahead of me.

The truth of the matter is, I don’t know him that well. I shouldn’t care if he doesn’t want anything to do with me. But his willingness to do what I say feeds my need for control unlike anyone else I’ve been with.

I’ve been with twinks and jocks, and nobody has so easily succumbed to my demands like Trevor has. He happily went along with my plans that night in the bathroom, and had we been anywhere but in the locker room that first day of practice, I know he would’ve dropped to his knees if I told him to.

On top of that, he’s fucking sexy. He’s athletic and muscular, but still lean. He’s clean-cut without being a baby face. And of course, for my own selfish reasons, I want to be able to have someone take my mind off my current problems. He’s the drug I want to take in order to escape reality, even if it’s only for a small amount of time. Even if it’ll destroy me.

Trevor says he wants me to leave him alone, but I know that’s his fear talking. He’s afraid he likes me too much, and not just because I’m me. I’m a man, and he’s still coming to terms with that. I think he’s afraid if I’m around too much he’ll succumb to every natural instinct he has. He’ll stare too long, smile in a way he shouldn’t, blush when I say something, and submit when he should resist.

I’ll give him what he thinks he wants until he comes to me. It’s bound to happen.

* * *

“Hey, nice fucking run,”Jayden says, slapping my shoulder as I get to the sidelines after scoring a touchdown.

“Thanks, man.” I squirt water into my mouth and then stand there, catching my breath.

“Yeah, you made Mills fall down,” he says with a laugh. “I’ll be sure to give him shit for that later.”

I shake my head as I chuckle. “He owes me a drink. I told him I’d shake him, but he said there was no way I’d get past him.”

Jayden throws his head back with a boisterous laugh. “Fucking Mills. I’m gonna make him buy me a drink, too. So, you’re twenty-one?”

“Yep.”

“Dope. Let’s hit up the bar. Me, you, Mills—since he’s buying, and maybe a few others. That cool?”

“Yeah, definitely. Tonight? Because I have to work tomorrow.”

“Probably. Hold up.” He walks a few steps away and shouts to a few guys. “Yo, Mills, Shea! Wanna hit up Toast tonight?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Hell yeah.”

“I’m inviting myself.”

Responses are immediate and Jayden strolls back with a grin. “It’s on.”

“Toast?”

He laughs. “It’s called A Toast Away, but nobody ever says the whole thing. I know it’s a weird name, but it’s the best bar in the local area.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Where do you work?” he asks.

“I guess the second best bar. Three Sheets.”

Jayden laughs. “Maybe third best.”

I spot Trevor staring in our direction, and I try not to overthink the look on his face, but if I had to guess, it seems like jealousy.

I gesture toward him and say, “What about Campbell?”

Jayden looks over at him. “Ah, well, he’s still twenty.”

“Shame.”

Jayden angles his body, giving his back to Trevor so he can look right at me. “You got a thing for Trev or what?”

My eyes move from the scowling face of Trevor Campbell and meet Jayden’s dark gaze. “He’s nice to look at.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, all right. I wouldn’t get too caught up in Trevor. I know some other guys who are actually into dick, though.”

I laugh. “Maybe I’ll meet someone tonight.”

“Shit, hopefully I do, too.”

We laugh and talk for a couple more minutes before we’re dismissed to head back into the locker room. I keep my steps unhurried as the rest of the team seems to be in a rush to get changed and leave to enjoy the weekend. Besides the plans for tonight, I don’t have anything fun planned. My nights usually consist of making food and hoping my mom will actually eat some of it, while also trying to keep her in the living room instead of crawling into her bed.

I get she has to grieve. I may not understand why she’s grieving an abusive alcoholic, but I know I can’t force her to not care about the death of a man she spent most of her life with. I just want to make sure she’s caring for herself. I want her to know she has a full life ahead of her. My parents were young when they had me, so she’s only forty. She could find a man who loves her and treats her the way she should’ve always been treated.

So, I’m not in a rush to change and get home, and maybe that’s wrong of me. I should want to be home with her, but half the time I am there, I don’t think she notices. So I take my time getting to my locker and grabbing my bag to take to the showers.

Most of the guys choose to go home to shower since it’s already the end of the day, but there’s a few that shower here because they have to go to work right after.

“Give me your number,” Jayden says, shoving his phone in my hand. “Shea, hold up,” he yells toward the other door. “Anyway, I’ll text you later about where to go. Or we can meet up.”

“Sounds good,” I say, handing the phone back to him.

He hits my shoulder with his fist before he jogs toward Shea. When I turn around, Trevor’s watching me.

I think to say something, but decide not to. I just lift my chin and head to the showers, deciding to take my time getting clean.

When I turn the corner, I’m shocked to find Trevor sitting on the bench in front of the lockers, his legs bouncing while he waits.

I walk behind him and open my locker, ignoring his presence until he says, “We need to talk.”