Breaking Free by Isabel Lucero

6

It’s beentwo weeks since I transferred and started school at South River, and it’s a lot better than I thought it would be. The campus is a little bigger than my last one, and the athletic compound is definitely better. They clearly have more funding here.

That’s not to say I didn’t like Grand Valley. I enjoyed my time there and had good friends and a steady job. Football wasn’t my top priority there, and I was content on the bench for the majority of the season, because my attention was on passing my classes and working my ass off.

Half my money was sent to my mom to make sure she had whatever she needed since my dad was a controlling, alcoholic asshole who didn’t allow my mom to live freely.

I actually grew up an hour and a half away from South River, and as soon as I graduated high school I was quick to flee to Grand Valley just to get away from my dad, because I was afraid one of our fights would explode into something I couldn’t come back from.

I begged my mom to leave him but she wouldn’t. In one of his brief I’ll be better moments, they decided to move to South River for a new start, but I was already up at Grand Valley. I came here twice to visit, but only when I knew my dad wouldn’t be around.

My dad died four weeks ago, and now I’m here for an indeterminate amount of time, but definitely until I graduate.

Mom needs my help. She hasn’t had a job in years because my dad stopped allowing that when he was afraid her co-workers were getting in her head and giving her confidence to leave him. My dad was the sole breadwinner, and while she has some insurance coming her way, she’s not going to get a lot.

For reasons I don’t understand, she’s actually grieving the prick. I don’t know when she’ll be ready to start looking for a job, so I’m here to help her financially and emotionally.

Because the coach at South River knew my parents, he was vaguely aware of the toxic situation I left behind, and when he found out my dad dropped dead of a heart attack, leaving my mom a widow so unexpectedly, he, along with my coach at Grand Valley, helped me get transferred here quickly while also getting me on the football team.

Coach Bennett here at South River came down to watch me play, and after talking to my coach, he allowed me on the team without having to attend their tryouts. My circumstances definitely helped. Thanks, Dad.

I got a job at one of the bars, because it’s one of the few places that gives me more hours in the evening, since I’ll be at school during the day. Because I don’t know shit about being a bartender, I’ll be a barback, which is just stocking, lifting heavy crates of alcohol, and cleaning. But the owner told me if I had time, to watch the bartenders and learn the drinks, and maybe I can eventually be a bartender.

Personally, I don’t care what I do as long as it gets me money. I’m not in a place to be picky.

I walk down the hall of the small three bedroom house my parents bought a couple years ago. It’s not a bad house, but it could use some work. My mom sits at the round dining room table with a cup of coffee, staring into the steaming liquid.

“Hey, Ma.”

Her head comes up slowly, eyes red-rimmed. “Hey. Want some coffee?”

I sit down next to her. “I’m good. How are you?”

She forces a tight smile. “I’m...fine.”

I lay my hand on hers. “You gonna be okay today?”

“Yes, of course,” she replies, pulling her hand out from under mine to give me a few taps. “I think I’ll try to clean up a bit.”

I nod, pressing my lips into a line. “I can help when I get back.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

I don’t bother explaining I’m worried because she hasn’t showered in a week, hardly eats, and seems to be surviving on cat naps.

“I’ll always worry. Call me if you need me,” I tell her, standing up. “Ms. Anne next door is also willing to help if you need anything,” I say, kissing her forehead.

“Antonio never liked her. Said she couldn’t mind her own business.”

I sigh, biting back what I really want to say. “She’s nice and she’s willing to help.”

“Go ahead, baby,” she says, shooing me away. “Don’t be late.”

Outside, I exhale a breath and spot Anne on her porch. The houses around here are pretty close, so it doesn’t take me long to make my way over to her.

“Is she okay?” she asks.

I shrug. “About the same.”

Anne frowns and looks at our house. She’s probably in her late fifties or early sixties, and currently has rollers in her mostly white hair. She was quick to pull me to the side when I first arrived and told me she overheard lots of arguments and called the cops a couple times. She’s not sad my dad’s dead either. Said she knew he was an evil man. He even came over here and threatened her after the cops had left one night.

“I’ll go over with some food in a little bit,” she says.

“Thank you.”

My mom’s sister flew into town last week, and while she was here, I let her use my car, but now that she’s back home with her family in New Mexico, I have the car back, so I hop in and start driving.

Going to school has become the bright spot in my life, if not for any other reason than I get to see Trevor and get him riled up just by looking at him.

Having him show up at my frat house right as I was packing up to leave was the gift I didn’t know I needed. The death of my father affected me less than worrying how my mom was going to deal with his absence. But that, paired with a quick move, the stress of transferring, and starting over had me in a pretty shitty mood.

Trevor with his bright green, curious, and wandering eyes gave me something else to focus on, even if it was just for that short amount of time, but hopefully I can convince him to give me more.