Once Upon an Irritatingly Magical Kiss by Bree Wolf

Chapter Thirty

A New Life

Staring out the window, Christina felt tears slowly sneak their way down her cheeks. She clenched her teeth to keep the sobs that rose in her throat from spilling forth. She could still sense her husband standing by the door, looking at her, waiting.

For what, she did not know nor care. All she wanted was for him to leave.

When she finally heard the door close behind him, all her composure fell away. Her limbs began to tremble, and she sank down onto her knees as floods of tears spilled down the sides of her face. Why she broke down in such a profound way, Christina did not know. It made no sense after all. They had known each other a few weeks, no more. She could not possibly have come to care for him in a way that would see her heart in such danger because of a lie.

Only it was not the lie that pained her, was it?

Angrily, Christina brushed the tears from her cheeks, willing them to stop flowing. Unfortunately, they would not listen.

And so, she sat there, upon the floor behind the armchair and wept.

I was afraid you would change your mind and refuse to marry me. I should have told you. I wanted to, but I simply could not take the risk.

His words echoed in her mind no matter how hard Christina tried to shut them out. Yes, he had come to London for a reason. She could not fault him for that for he had proven himself to be a good man. He cared for others, and he was willing to go to great lengths to see them provided for, to see them treated justly. It was a noble ambition, and, yes, she had judged him wrongly.

Still, this realization walked hand-in-hand with another. She had fooled herself. Of course, she had not meant to do so. She had tried to be on her guard, to treat this union as a formal contract and nothing more. Most marriages, after all, were marriages of convenience. A contract beneficial to both parties. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, Christina had allowed herself to care for him, to believe even that he might care for her.

Yes, they might suit each other. Their personalities fit, ensuring a pleasant union. He clearly found her appealing and enjoyed their teasing conversations as much as she did. But was that all?

For her, it went deeper.

To her great shame, it went far deeper.

For him, it did not. That much was clear now. Only moments ago, he had stated outright that he had been unwilling to risk losing her hand in marriage, to risk losing her father’s connections.

It was not her he wanted. After all, only a few weeks ago he had been set on marrying Sarah. He did not care whom he took as his wife as long as said wife came with an introduction into London society.

Perhaps—

Christina froze when the sound of the door opening slowly drifted to her ears. Her breath lodged in her throat before she quickly reached up to brush the tears from her eyes. Yet there was nothing she could do about her reddened cheeks. Anyone who would look upon her would know that she had been crying. But who had come? Was it a servant? Her husband would have surely said something by now.

Pinching her eyes shut, Christina imagined the humility of being discovered by a servant in her current state, seated upon the floor, hidden behind an armchair, her face tear-streaked and her eyes puffy.

“Mama?” A pause. “Chris-Christina?”

Christina almost flinched at the sound of Samantha’s voice. Yet it was the word she whispered that stole Christina’s breath. The girl could not possibly be addressing her, could she? But who else was there?

Soft footsteps drew closer, and when Christina turned her head and lifted her eyes, she found herself looking into a hopeful little face that broke her heart all over again.

Samantha’s green eyes reminded Christina of Thorne. Although she knew now that the girl was not his true daughter, Fate had seen it fit to strengthen their bond by such a resemblance.

The delicate smile that hung on her lips was full of longing. She looked down at Christina, waiting for her to…

…say something?

What was she to say? To a child she did not know? A child who had just now called her Mama? A child who was clearly in desperate need of a mother?

Yes, she was Thorne’s wife and the girl was his daughter in every way that mattered; but did that mean that Christina was now her mother?

She closed her eyes and pinched them shut. This was all too much. Too much had changed in one day. Too much she had been unable to prepare herself for. Too much—

A soft weight descended upon her shoulder, and Christina’s eyes flew open.

Samantha was kneeling beside her, her wide eyes watchful. “You look sad,” the girl remarked, such youthful innocence in her eyes that stirred a memory of days long gone within Christina.

Swallowing, she once again tried to brush the tears from her cheeks. “I…I am overwhelmed,” she told the child truthfully, unable to conjure a believable lie in that moment. Nor did she wish to. Too many lies had already been told.

“What does that mean?”

Christina exhaled a deep breath. No, she was definitely not ready to be a mother to a five-year-old girl. Yet it seemed that she did not have a choice. “It means that…that I do not know what I feel. A lot has happened, and I cannot seem to make sense of it.” She shook her head, and a scoff almost left her lips. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid that didn’t make it any clearer, did it?”

Seating herself next to Christina, Samantha crossed her legs under her skirts. “What has happened? Something bad?”

Christina folded her hands in her lap. “I had to say goodbye to my family,” she told Samantha after a short pause. That much, at least, was true for the thought of her parents and siblings still threatened to bring fresh tears to her eyes.

Samantha nodded knowingly. “I’m always sad when Papa travels without me. I miss him then. Will your family come to visit us?”

“I believe they would like that,” Christina replied, wondering if she even wanted them here now. They knew her too well and would instantly see what was going on. Although Grandma Edie was the one known to meddle in everyone’s affairs, Christina’s parents and siblings in truth were no better. They would all find reasons to get involved, thinking it their responsibility to see her happily settled.

Christina did not know if she was strong enough to bear a visit at this point. First, she needed to figure out how she felt about…all of this.

Samantha’s little face brightened. “I would like to meet them. Do you have any brothers or sisters?”

Christina nodded, relieved to have been asked such a simple question. “I have a brother and four sisters.”

The girl’s eyes widened in awe. “That is a lot. I don’t have any, but I always wanted to have a sister or even a brother. Perhaps now that you are here, I will.”

Such hope rang in her voice that Christina momentarily forgot to be shocked by her words. She was still trying to regain her composure and think of something to say when a shadow fell over them. She looked up and saw her husband standing there, that wickedly twinkling look in his eyes clearly stating that he, too, had heard Samantha’s heart-felt wish.

Christina wanted to sink into a hole in the ground.

“Here you are,” he exclaimed, feigning surprise as he smiled at his daughter. “I thought you were seeing to Biscuit? Are you already bored with him?”

Scrambling to her feet, Samantha shook her head. “No, of course not. I love him.” She glanced at Christina. “But I was curious. I couldn’t wait.” Her little teeth sank into her lower lip as she looked at Christina in a way that made her feel worse than she already did.

It made her feel like an imposter because Samantha was clearly considering her her new mother, and Christina could not have been any further from feeling like that herself.

“I understand,” Thorne replied, brushing a gentle hand over the girl’s head. “I believe he could do with a snack. Would you feed him? I’ve given Mrs. Huxley a few of the biscuits he is very fond of.”

Samantha’s face lit up, and she instantly darted away.

Withdrawing his eyes from his daughter, Thorne turned to Christina, then held out his hand offering to help her up.

With everything that had happened, Christina had completely forgotten that she was still sitting on the floor. A deep flush burned its way up her neck until it reached her cheeks, and although she accepted her husband’s hand, her eyes remained firmly upon something other than him.

“Are you all right?” he asked, and she could sense that he was trying to meet her gaze.

Swallowing, Christina lifted her chin and then looked at him, trying her best not to flinch, not to be affected by the way his eyes looked into hers. “I am as well as can be expected.”

He nodded. “May I show you to your chamber?”

“I would appreciate that,” Christina replied, but then hesitated when he once more held out his arm to her. Her eyes rose to meet his; yet she did not know what she was looking for.

Thorne sighed, regret in his emerald eyes. “I wish we could go back to the way we were before.” He held her gaze, and Christina could see that he would not walk away. Not without an answer.

Finally, Christina nodded. “Perhaps that would be best,” she admitted, then accepted his arm. After all, what choice did she have? They were married. It was not something that could be undone. Her mother had warned her to choose wisely, and Christina thought that she had. Now, she was not so certain.

Only no regret would ever change what was, and so she would do well to make the best of things. Perhaps if she guarded her heart carefully, she could even find a little joy in this new life.