Once Upon an Irritatingly Magical Kiss by Bree Wolf

Chapter Thirty-Two

Through the Eyes of a Child

The moment the door closed behind her husband, Christina exhaled a deep sigh, then rested her head against its smooth wood. She had wanted him to stay; yet that simple desire had frightened her. She needed to guard her heart.

Perhaps it was for the best they spent as little time in each other’s presence as possible. Many spouses did just that, did they not? Perhaps it was truly the best way to conduct a marriage that was born out of nothing more but mutual interest.

If she were to accompany him to London, they would spend hours in the carriage together.

Alone.

From what Samantha had told her, Thorne rarely took the child along when he traveled. Christina doubted it would be different this time. Perhaps she could have insisted on bringing the girl along. Still, Christina did not wish to see her family at this point. Her nerves were still too raw, and they would see easily how upset she was. No, it was best to wait a little longer, to let a little more time pass.

Perhaps in a few weeks, she would feel strong enough to face them.

Perhaps.

A few days later, Christina found herself standing in the front hall of Pinewood Manor, bidding her husband farewell. She had told herself to remain strong, to not show how much she wanted him to stay. Still, her hands trembled, and she could feel tears prick the backs of her eyes. What a weak fool she was!

“I shall miss you dearly, Papa!” Samantha mumbled as she hugged her father tightly. “Will you come back soon?”

Setting her back gently, Thorne smiled at her. “Of course, Sam. You know I cannot bear to stay away from you for long.”

The girl giggled joyfully and once more embraced her father. “We shall both miss you so much.”

At her words, Thorne looked up at Christina, a question in his eyes she did not dare answer but was afraid he might read upon her face. And so, she dropped her gaze and took a step back, willing her expression to harden lest he see how deeply his departure affected her.

“Will you run upstairs and wave to me from the window?” Thorne asked his daughter, who nodded eagerly, then dashed up the stairs as fast as her little legs could carry her.

Rising to his feet, Thorne turned to Christina, the look in his eyes as unnerving as when they had first met. Indeed, he did see far too much, and so she kept her gaze safely averted. “Will you change your mind?” he asked as he stepped closer, his eyes trying to look into hers. “Will you not come with me?”

Christina swallowed. “I do not believe that to be wise.” Chiding herself for being a ninny, she finally lifted her gaze to meet his. “I believe some time apart will do us good.”

Christina could not deny that looking into his eyes made her want to change her mind after all. There was something there, something that made her want to step forward and into his embrace.

Yet she did not.

She remained strong.

She needed to be.

Thorne nodded. “Very well then. Goodbye.” As he turned away, she saw his jaw clench as though he was biting back words he desperately wanted to say. He proceeded down the stairs a few steps, but then stopped.

He stood there for a moment or two, not moving, not looking back at her.

Christina frowned, wondering what he was about. Had he forgotten something? Was he on the verge of saying more to her? Would he—?

He suddenly spun around, and the look in his eyes made her catch her breath. Long strides carried him back to her, his gaze determined and his jaw set. He reached for her then, his hands warm and possessive as he pulled her to him, pulled her into his arms. And then his lips closed over hers, and everything fell away.

As it always did.

He kissed her deeply as though trying to make a point. One arm remained slung around her middle while the other reached to cup her face, gently tilting her head so he could deepen the kiss further.

Christina had no strength to resist him, nor did she wish to. Those traitorous emotions once more sparked in her heart, urging her closer, urging her to kiss him back.

And then she did, and a low growl rose in his throat as he pushed her back against the doorframe, his mouth never leaving hers as they clung to one another.

“Papa!” Samantha’s voice called from the top floor. “Will you be leaving soon?”

Reluctantly, he broke away, his breath coming as fast as her own as he stared at her, passion darkening his eyes. “I’ll be off in a minute,” he called up to his daughter.

Christina barely had time to regain even a sliver of composure before he moved closer once more, his eyes seeking hers mercilessly. “When I return,” he whispered as his breath fanned over her lips, “we need to do something about…this. Us.” He swallowed hard. “I have no intention of staying away from you for the remainder of our marriage.”

Christina felt the corners of her mouth curl up into a smile. “Is that a threat? Or promise?”

Holding her gaze, Thorne returned her smile, something akin to relief upon his face, relaxing his muscles and giving him a more youthful and lighthearted expression. Still, the eyes that looked back into hers shone with passion yet to be acted upon, and he leaned down to whisper in her ear, “If you do not stop me, if you do not speak out loud and clear, the moment I return from London, you will be back in my arms.” He stood back, and his eyes returned to hers. “That is a promise.”

A teasing shiver danced down Christina’s back as she held her husband’s gaze. Even more than before, she did not want him to leave. She wanted him to kiss her again. She wanted…

He needed to go!

Her thoughts were far from clear, and she truly ought to think about this promise of his before accepting it in a moment of weakness.

“Have a safe journey,” she told him, her voice far from steady. “I’ll await your return.”

For a long moment, they simply looked at one another, their breaths mingling as temptation urged them to act upon the desire they saw in each other’s eyes.

Here.

Now.

“Father!”

Christina flinched as did her husband. Samantha’s voice broke the spell, and she felt heat rising to her cheeks. His presence had once again made her forget everything around her. They were far from alone. Servants lingered in the corridors nearby. His daughter was upstairs out of sight, but not out of earshot.

Now, here was neither the time nor the place.

“I’m leaving!” Thorne called to his daughter, then he turned to Christina and gently reached for her hand, a teasing smile upon his lips. “Until I return,” he whispered in a way that felt almost seductive before he placed a gentle kiss upon the back of her hand.

“Until you return,” Christina echoed his words, suddenly feeling bereft of something the moment his hand released hers.

He cast her one last wicked grin and then hurried out the door and down the steps. Outside the carriage, he stopped and turned to look up at the window where Samantha was no doubt waving frantically at him. He returned her farewell and then climbed into the carriage, which immediately pulled away and rolled down the drive.

Christina knew that it was foolish; yet she remained in the doorway until not even a small glimpse could be seen of the carriage in the far distance.

“I shall miss him,” came Samantha’s little voice, sadness tinging every word. “I always do.”

Christina looked down at the little girl and smiled at her. “I believe I will as well,” she mumbled, not certain if that was wise. But wise or not, it seemed it was the truth.

Over the following days, Christina found herself doing exactly two things: either she spent her time with Samantha out in the gardens or the stables or even riding across the meadows on King Arthur and a beautiful mare Samantha had named Lady Marion, or she was all but lost in thought, replaying the last moment she had shared with her husband in her mind, recalling what he had said as well as the way he had looked at her, contemplating her options.

Yes, she knew that it would be foolish to hold a grudge for his omission. She still felt disappointment whenever she thought of it, yet what he had done was something she should forgive. In fact, it was the underlying meaning of that lie that pained Christina the most.

The thought that she meant little to him beyond his own ambitions.

Still, the more Christina thought about everything, the more she began to think that even though he might not love her, there still was something between them. She felt it every time he stepped into a room, every time he drew near, every time…he kissed her.

If she could not have love, maybe she could make do with passion. Was that not what he had referred to upon his departure? What had he meant when he said that she would be in his arms the moment he returned? Would he kiss her again? Would he…?

Whenever Christina thought of consummating their marriage, she could not stop a flush from rising to her cheeks. Yet she could not claim to be apprehensive. Curious was perhaps the correct word. Tempted as well. Still, she wished she knew him better in order to feel comfortable to share something so intimate.

“It’s starting to rain!” Samantha yelled over the howling wind as they made their way back to the stables.

The day had begun in such a promising way, clear blue skies with not a cloud in sight. The sun’s rays had seemed almost golden, their warmth pleasant and soothing and their brightness reflected in the soft glow of the fields and meadows.

Now, however, dark clouds rolled in, promising heavy rain to fall upon the earth and them alike. The soft breeze had turned into a howling wind, whipping Christina’s hair into her face and making her squint her eyes as they found their way back. Samantha cast worried eyes over her shoulder at the dark horizon, a bit of unease upon her face. Yet she held herself tall and urged her pony down the small slope.

“We’re almost there!” Christina called over the whipping wind, doing her best to smile at Samantha. While she could not rightly say that she had come to feel like a mother toward the girl, she had come to care for her. In fact, it was impossible not to care for Samantha.

The girl’s bright green eyes had a way of melting her heart, no matter the resistance she put up. Samantha always spoke with such joy and trust, and the way she often turned to Christina was so natural, her little hand reaching for hers, that Christina found herself unable not to open her heart to her.

Together, they pulled to a stop outside the stables and slid out of their saddles. Stable boys came running to take the reins and see to the animals as Christina reached for Samantha’s hand. “We better hurry or we’ll get wet!” she called to the child the moment she felt a heavy rain drop land upon her cheek.

No more than two heartbeats later, the rain started to come down hard, and within moments, the two of them were soaked to the skin. Samantha shrieked and made to bolt for the house, but Christina held her back, laughter spilling from her mouth as she began to dance in the rain, urging the girl to do the same.

Samantha hesitated, her eyes wide as she stared at Christina. Then, however, all hesitation fell from her and she joined in. Her little booted feet splashed through the quickly growing puddles and they both twirled in circles, stretching out their arms and lifting their faces to the sky, eyes closed as the rain washed over them.

Christina could not remember the last time she had felt like this. It was a feeling that had been long gone, one of complete ease and freedom and weightlessness. It was a feeling she knew from her own childhood when life had been simple and beautiful and there had been no dark clouds upon the horizon.

Now, everything was complicated. Every step she took needed to be considered and contemplated, and she could never be quite certain where she would end. One wrong step, and then?

But here, now, in this moment, Christina forgot about all that. She looked at the little girl beside her, and together, they danced in the rain, laughing as they spun in circles, faster and faster until…

…they lost their balance and fell into a large puddle, mud splashing onto their riding habits.

“Mrs. Huxley will be mad!” Samantha called above the rain as laughter continued to spill from her mouth. “She will shake her head again the way she does!”

Pushing to her feet, Christina held out her hand to Samantha and helped the little girl out of the puddle. “Do not worry, Sam. I shall speak to her.” She looked around at the soaked ground and the heavy rain still coming down. “This was fun, was it not? And well worth a stern look from your governess, don’t you agree?”

Sam nodded eagerly, and then the two of them dashed toward the house and slipped inside through a back entrance. They removed their muddy boots but could not prevent their riding habits from dripping all over the floor. Maids appeared to quickly wipe up the water that once again collected in little puddles, and they made it halfway up the stairs before Mrs. Huxley came upon them.

As expected, the stout woman’s jaw dropped open and she stared at them, first in shock and then in utter disapproval. “What on earth happened? You look—”

Christina exchanged a look with Samantha before turning to the girl’s governess. “There’s nothing to worry about, Mrs. Huxley. I suppose, we got a tad wet. Will you see to it that Miss Samantha has a bath before supper?” She looked down at her own riding habit and then turned to look at Samantha’s. “Perhaps there is no use in trying to save these. A perfect chance to shop for new ones, wouldn’t you agree?”

Grinning from ear to ear, Samantha nodded. “Will we go to London? To see father?”

Christina froze, but managed to maintain a smile upon her face. “At some point, we will. Right now, you need to warm up. I shall see you at supper.” She looked after Samantha as the girl followed her governess to her chambers.

With her thoughts once more lingering upon her husband, Christina soaked in a bath of her own and then dressed for supper. Her mind and heart were still in an uproar as she headed down to the dining room. She tried her best to converse with Samantha, but found her thoughts straying time and time again.

When she finally fell into bed that night, Christina felt exhausted. Her limbs felt weak despite the soothing bath, and yet she could not deny that she had enjoyed the day with Samantha greatly. She had laughed in a way she had not in a long time, and remembering their little dance in the rain still brought a smile to her face.

“Perhaps all shall be well after all,” she whispered to herself in the dark before her thoughts once more returned to her husband and the moments before they had last parted. They returned to their kiss, and as Christina fell asleep, she could almost feel his arms wrap around her.

Thunder rolled in the distance when Christina woke with a start. Her chamber was still dark, not even a hint of dawn visible through the windows. Nevertheless, awareness crawled over her skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

Someone was in her room.

“Christina?” a faint little voice whispered. A voice full of fear. A voice that was undoubtedly Samantha’s.

Pushing upright, Christina swept her eyes over the room, seeing nothing but hulking shadows in the dim light of the silvery moon that shone in through the windows. Christina had never been one to draw the curtains for she had always loved the soft lights that still existed even in the deepest night. “Sam, is that you? Where are you?”

Out of the shadow near the door, a smaller one separated, and she could hear soft footfalls as the little girl slowly made her way over to Christina’s bed. Her face seemed pale in the dim light, and her eyes were open wide as she kept turning her head from side to side as though afraid that something might come at her.

Christina quickly slipped from her bed and rushed over to the little girl, pulling her into her arms. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong with Mrs. Huxley?” Samantha’s little hands and feet were ice-cold, and Christina quickly lifted her into her arms and carried her to the bed.

“No,” Samantha replied as she snuggled up next to Christina under the blanket. “She is sleeping in her chamber.”

“Then what are you doing here?” Christina asked as she rubbed the girl’s arms and legs to bring back some warmth.

Snuggling deeper into Christina’s embrace, Samantha whispered, “I didn’t want her. I wanted you.”

Those few little words whispered with such open affection and innocent trust warmed Christina more than anything else ever had. It reminded her of her own family, of the love they had always shared, of how safe she had always felt with them, knowing that no matter what there were people in her life who would always stand with her.

“You can always come to me,” Christina mumbled before placing a soft kiss upon the girl’s head. “We are family now, and I will always be there for you. I promise.”

“You, me and Papa?”

Christina inhaled a deep breath. “Yes. All of us.” Perhaps it was possible. Perhaps if they simply were to believe in it, it would be.

Perhaps.

“I had a bad dream,” Samantha whispered near Christina’s ear. “And I don’t like the thunder. Or the shadows. It always makes me think there’s someone in my chamber.”

Christina held the little girl tighter. “I used to feel like that, too. I would often sneak into my sister’s room, and we would huddle up in bed together when we were younger. We would tell each other stories and try to distract one another from being afraid.”

“What stories?”

Christina paused, realizing that she had spoken without thought. “Oh, that is not important. We just made up things that…brought us joy, to chase away the fear.” Always had it brought Christina joy to conjure stories out of nothing. To create worlds and people and creatures. To speak of heroes and villains, of great deeds and daring adventures.

“Can you tell me such a story?” Samantha asked, hope ringing in her voice as she pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked down at Christina. “Perhaps then I won’t be afraid anymore.”

For a moment, Christina was tempted to refuse her. It was a part of her life she had banished into the shadows long ago. Only the pleading look in the girl’s eyes would not allow her. “Very well. If you insist.”

Samantha smiled. “I do.”

Snuggling back down, Christina stared up at the ceiling, Samantha in her arms, and let her thoughts wander. “Have you ever seen fireflies dance at dusk?”

Christina felt Samantha’s head nod up and down. “Yes, I have. Far out by the woods and the lake.”

Christina smiled. “Did you know that not all fireflies are truly fireflies?”

She could feel Samantha frown against her shoulder. “Then what are they?”

Deep happiness settled in Christina’s heart, something warm and contented and heartbreakingly beautiful. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath before breathing one simple word out into the dark, “Fairies.”

In her arms, Samantha stilled, and Christina could all but feel a hum of excitement go through the girl’s little body. Anticipation lingered in the air, and she knew without looking that Samantha needed to know more. “They live in a world all their own, out in the forests, in hollow trees and burrows. They live everywhere, unseen and safe, away from people for the most important rule, the very first one every fairy learns is to never show themselves to people.”

“Why not?” Samantha whispered, and the fingers of her left hand curled into the fabric of Christina’s sleeve. “I wish I could see a fairy. What do they look like?”

“They’re small, very small,” Christina whispered into the dark as memories of her own childhood resurfaced, a childhood full of stories and adventure. “Their wings are translucent, but they glow as bright as the sun. During a bright summer’s day, they are well hidden, but in the dark, their bright light draws others near. That’s why they often live where there are fireflies, to hide themselves, to remain safe from curious eyes.”

“Has no one ever seen them? No one?”

Christina felt a most wonderful smile play across her face. “Well, once there was a young girl…”