Played by Cara Dee

Six

Once Justin was down for the night that evening—and Jayden was tucked into his bed watching a movie—Darius and Gray joined Ally on the porch. She was going home again tomorrow and wanted to discuss their next step in the planning.

“How did it go with Squeezy today?” Darius asked.

“Well, she’s a lot more helpful than you are.” Ally smirked and stirred creamer into her coffee. “Even with her inability to speak to me, she gets her message across and is seemingly always two steps ahead.”

Darius lifted a shoulder. In a modern world where technology was taking over, his own way of operating was becoming obsolete. But until he was replaced by a drone or some AI, grunts like him continued to make all the difference. No matter how brilliant his little sister was, try sending her into a combat zone and see how that worked.

The topic today wasn’t tech, though. He had a feeling it would be about something more chemical.

“She told me you’ve been talking entry strategies,” he said.

Alicia nodded. “The soil samples Tariq sent support the theory of the underground compound—a quite large one, at that. The problem is, unless they’ve built a several-miles-long tunnel through a rocky foundation—where it’s a miracle to even build a compound in the first place—there’s only one point of entry. So we can bank on it being heavily guarded from within.”

Darius nodded slowly as his mind began racing. From a safety perspective, a single exit was incredibly stupid. Maybe they didn’t care one bit about the innocent people they’d kidnapped, but these criminals usually went to great lengths to look after their buyers.

The aforementioned single exit posed its own problem too, because the door Tariq had found when he was there was armored. To breach an armored door—quickly—robbed them of the advantage of surprising their enemy. Using explosive charges was their only option.

“On the flipside, once we take control of the entrance, there’s no escape for the others,” Darius reasoned in a feeble attempt to console himself.

“True,” Alicia conceded. “But they’ll likely have hostages to bargain with. And that’s why we have to talk about how you’re gonna take control. Because if we’re going with carbon monoxide poisoning, you can’t shoot them upon entry. You can’t leave a single permanent mark, technically.”

That wasn’t entirely accurate. “Our goal isn’t to be completely unnoticed by the authorities—just unidentified. It’s a covert op, not a clandestine one. Besides, say a handful of buyers and their security get shot, who’s to say the Feds won’t dismiss it as a fight erupting around the same time the gas causes people to drop? I’m just saying, if others around me suddenly collapse and pass out, I become suspicious.”

Plus, as mentioned, the door. They had to blow up the door to get in. It wasn’t gonna be easy to conceal that. They had to look into what their options were to fully replace it, and that shit took a lot of time.

Ally pursed her lips, then nodded firmly. “I buy that. Nevertheless, you’ll need to use those bullets very carefully.”

“Definitely.”

Gray cleared his throat. “Can a sedative be used? Like, if they have tranquilizer guns?”

Hollywood had caused enough fucking damage. That wasn’t a thing.

“I’m afraid that’s not going to work.” To Ally’s credit, she was patient. “Whenever you see a movie where a character drops the second they’re hit by a tranq dart, someone’s been taking a fuck-ton of creative liberties. A few seconds in a movie is in reality more like half an hour.” She tipped her head from side to side and backtracked slightly. “With a good ketamine compound, I can get it done in three minutes, but that’s still too long to remove an immediate threat.”

“Oh.” Gray chewed on his lip. “Got it. And at hospitals? Patients can be under in seconds.”

Ally nodded. “Because of neuromuscular blockers. Agents that cause paralysis. And you’re right, they work fast, but they also affect your ability to breathe.”

“Right—of course, they intubate. I should’ve thought of that.” Gray chuckled awkwardly.

Darius gave his hand a squeeze. “There’s a reason we do this as a team, knucklehead. You think I know about anesthesia and chemical compounds? It’s gibberish to me.”

Gray frowned. “You literally made your own poison on the yacht.”

“Which set in sooner than I anticipated,” Darius pointed out. “Of course we pick up some shit over the years, but there’s a big leap between causing food poisoning with laxatives and engineering a mass death using chemicals that only the Kremlin keep in stock.”

Alicia burst out a laugh.

Darius knew she’d appreciate the joke. Gray wasn’t really there. The Cold War was something he’d read about in history books, not something he remembered anything of. Ally, on the other hand, had grown up in the thick of it because of her father. But that was classified.

“Rest assured, we won’t use any prussic acid, polonium, or the famous poison umbrella,” she chuckled.

Darius smirked and took a sip from his coffee.

It was time to get back on track, and he started with surveillance. Tariq hadn’t found a single camera in the old brothel, which had seemed strange until Darius considered that stealth came at a cost. They couldn’t risk being detected by nosy kids who thought it was fun to explore a run-down building. So Darius wanted his own surveillance installed there. That way, they could monitor the activity, and, more importantly, know what they were dealing with on the day everything went down. Willow was already working on it.

As for their entry strategy, they would have to take some risks, though he phrased himself differently when he voiced his thoughts. Truthfully, he didn’t want Gray around for this talk, and he was fairly sure Alicia could tell. She didn’t push for answers to the questions she still had. They’d just have to speak over a secure line tomorrow or something.

“I’m thinking Elliott, Ryan, Dante, and I will enter first,” he continued. “Dante and I have the same training and can coordinate an attack without firearms. Ryan and Elliott can cover us.”

But as he said the words, things didn’t feel entirely right. He felt a conflict between wanting to pull this off without causing mayhem and… Well, mayhem was exactly what they’d cause the second they stuck C-4 to the door.

Ally took on a pensive expression. “What’re the chances they’ll have innocents near the entrance?”

Darius weighed his response. “Pretty high, I’d say. Aside from the boys being auctioned off when I went after Gray, they keep slaves as staff too, and they’re not hidden.”

Which was another issue. Anyone standing within fifteen feet of the door when the explosives went off risked fatal injuries.

“Hm.” Ally knitted her brows together and averted her gaze in concentration.

Darius put a hand on Gray’s leg, having noticed his flinch at Darius’s use of the word slaves.

“I suppose that rules out using a riot control agent,” Ally murmured to herself.

Darius cocked his head. It was ironic to call a gas “riot control” when all it did was create chaos. But she was onto something here, nevertheless.

“I wouldn’t recommend tear gas,” he said. “The risk of bullets flying in response is too great, especially in a confined space, but if there’s a way to apply a paralytic agent, we might have a winner. Even if it affects anyone innocent.”

Gray piped in at that. “Yeah, don’t worry about temporarily scaring or harming the hostage. In that situation, you’ll walk through fire if there’s freedom at the end of the line. Tear gas is nothing compared to what they’ve already suffered through.”

Darius took his hand and threaded their fingers together, and Gray tightened his grip.

“In that case, I can make it work,” Ally said. “I’ll need to run some tests, and it won’t be a magic fix. Once you enter the premises and release the gas, you’ll still have to face some resistance. It’ll be the longest minute of your life.” Oh, Darius didn’t know about that. “The riot control works instantly, but the paralysis won’t set in straightaway.” She tapped her chin. “If I can tip the scale toward drowsiness and euphoria instead of nausea and temporary blindness, I think it’ll help.”

Darius liked the sound of that. And no matter what, this would just be one of their tools, not the only one. They were still exploring their options and speculating.

“Also, one more thing before I’m done,” Ally added. At the same time, Darius’s phone buzzed in his pocket. “Assuming there are hostages, what’s the plan? Will you sedate them and deliver them somewhere, or…? I need to know if I’ll be preparing something for them too.”

Darius furrowed his brow and retrieved his phone. “Sedating them won’t be necessary. The guys and I will be in full masks, so they won’t see us anyway. Ry suggested we have a truck or two on standby. River and Reese can deliver them to the storage unit the Langes have been using and call the police as soon as they get outta there.” He reckoned that would be the easiest.

The victims were one of the reasons there was no use in trying to pull this off without raising any suspicion. Logic and experience would place the hostages in the compound with their kidnappers—if not all of them, then at least some of them. But the team couldn’t leave the hostages behind as the mysterious survivors when all the criminal bastards dropped dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. At least with the victims at the storage unit, the Feds would have doubts because they could rationalize it. They could theorize about their not having been picked up yet and brought to the compound.

Doubts were fine. Questions unanswered were okay too. As long as no evidence could be traced back to Darius and the others. Although, he was fully prepared to face the investigators. Anything else would be weird. They’d definitely come up here and ask about his whereabouts that weekend. They might even bring him to the office in Seattle, considering that Darius wouldn’t actually hide the fact that he’d be in Vegas. Too many people were involved for them to be ghosts, and that included their own children. If they left Jayden and Justin with his folks, for instance, the Feds would still wonder why.

So family members would be left out of things as much as possible. The boys would go with them to Nevada and probably stay with Casey and Boone during the operation.

Darius dropped his gaze quickly to check the message he’d received, and he was surprised to see it was from Niko. Gray had been trying to reach out to the guy in their group chat all week.

Can I stay with you for a while? I have to get out of the city.

The way he phrased himself set off warning bells, and Darius excused himself to make a call.

He got to the kitchen before Niko picked up.

“You didn’t have to call back.” His voice came out rough and strained, causing Darius to become worried.

“What happened?” he demanded.

Niko coughed. “It’s possible I attract the wrong crowd.”

“You fuckin’ think? You’re back in the cages, aren’t you?” Darius couldn’t believe the kid. Actually, that was wrong. It was entirely too believable. Go back and do what you do best and all. Niko had been a cage fighter in the past, and being forced to murder in captivity apparently hadn’t been enough to walk away from it.

“It’s the only thing I’m good at,” Niko snapped.

Darius reined it in. It was no use to argue over the phone. “Where are you right now? I’ll come get you.”

“I’m at the Greyhound station in Seattle. I was gonna buy a ticket to Chicago—it’s where my brother is right now—but you made me promise to call you if I ran into trouble…”

Darius released a breath. Thank fuck he’d had some influence on the punk at least.

“Are you safe for the moment?” he asked. “I’m on my way, but it’ll take me a couple hours.”

“I can take the bus—”

“Not at this hour.” Darius checked his watch, then ran upstairs. “Just stay where you are and I’ll come get you.”

“Okay. Thank you, Darius.”

* * *

Only Gray would think to send Darius off with a travel mug of coffee and a stack of chocolate chip cookies.

He took a sip of his coffee and sped up as soon as the dirt road ended. He’d have reception soon so he could call Gray. They hadn’t gotten a proper goodbye. There’d been just enough time to fill Gray in and for the knucklehead to rush around the kitchen and prepare a snack.

It was what Gray did. He left little pieces of himself everywhere, including in the car. He was the one who’d installed a cupholder in the vent after Darius had said that the only issue with a bench seat in the front was the loss of a center console. Similar story with the phone holder attached to the dash now.

Regardless of how stupid these new insecurities made him feel, he knew it was time to lay it all out there. Because if anyone could make sense of them, it was Gray.

Speaking of that sweet devil…

The phone rang, and Darius accepted the call and put Gray on speaker.

“You should be closer to civilization now,” he stated.

Darius grinned tiredly and bit into a cookie. “Aye, just passed Nelson’s.”

“Am I on speaker?” Gray asked. “Sounds like you’re farther away.”

“Ah—yeah.”

Gray snorted. “I gave you my AirPods for a reason, baby.”

Maybe Darius didn’t know how they worked. Maybe he’d thrown the offending gadget into the glovebox. Wireless earbuds without an on- and off-switch couldn’t be trusted, he decided right then and there.

“Whatever. You can hear me.” Darius slowed down as he got closer to the bridge. “Are you in bed?”

“No, I felt like hosting a pity party in front of the TV,” Gray answered. “I’ve already dunked five cookies in warm milk, and now I’m eyeing the cupboard where we keep chips, kinda like I stare at you when I’m horny.”

Darius chuckled. “Intense. I don’t know why you feel sorry for yourself, though. I’m the one who had to drive off in the middle of the night.” When you had chickens to tend to at five in the morning every day, ten PM was in the middle of the night.

“I didn’t say it was rational,” Gray yawned. “I got a little jealous.”

What the fuck? Darius crossed the bridge, not a soul nearby, and drove into the part of Westslope that wasn’t all wilderness. “You’re gonna have to explain that, and then I have a hilarious story for you in return.”

Gray huffed. It sounded like he was stretching out too, maybe getting comfortable on the couch. “I don’t know what to say. When we were stuck on that island, it seemed like you and Niko had a special connection. I know it sounds stupid.”

It did. It really fucking did. There was no special connection, just the realization that Niko was a lot like Darius in how they dealt with trauma and how they attacked problems. And that wasn’t exactly a good thing, which he explained to Gray.

“Like I said, I knew it wasn’t rational,” Gray muttered. “I’m ready for a hilarious story now.”

Darius shook his head, amused, and made a turn. He just had to drive through the lower end of Ponderosa before he could hit the interstate.

“I’ve been jealous too,” he admitted. “I think you traumatized me when you said you wanted to slow shit down, so it’s essentially your fault I’m viewing Abel and Madigan as threats nowadays. Oh, and let’s not forget Jamie. And any other buddy of mine you’ve slept with.”

Yeah, that shut the knucklehead up. Except for a spluttering, coughing sound.

Underneath the thin layer of mirth rested a brick of unease. Darius couldn’t stress it enough—he’d never felt this way. He fucking hated it.

It resembled the discomfort he’d felt before he and Gray had gotten the seal of approval to become Jayden and Justin’s foster parents. As if at any moment, they could be ripped away.

“First of all,” Gray said, his tone holding an edge. “I’ve never slept with Madigan. The very few times we shared a bed, we had Abel between us.”

Darius cringed. He didn’t want the goddamn details.

“Second of all,” Gray went on. “We have bigger problems if you feel threatened by a one-night stand I had with Jameson a year before I even met you. A one-night stand, mind you, where we both admitted we were hooked on other people.”

He was irritated, Darius could tell.

“And I didn’t slow us down, Darius. I just didn’t wanna miss any traditional milestones. Is that so bad?”

“No—it’s not. I told you I agreed with you, and I still do. I just…” Fuck. This was where it became difficult to explain. “I can’t make heads or tails of much of anything running through my head these days. It’s fucking bizarre, and it changes from day to day.” Frustration built up rapidly, and he was so over it. “I feel too much, Gray.” That was the motherfucking problem. Where he’d been indifferent in the past, he suddenly had opinions and strong feelings about everything. “I don’t like it when my logical thinking isn’t on the same page as how I’m feeling. It pisses me off. But that’s where I’m at. While my brain is telling me it’s good we take things slow, it’s good we go to therapy, it’s good we savor our milestones, there’s another part of me that just wants me to lock this shit down, because I keep thinking about how different we are, and one day you’ll realize it.”

He swallowed dryly and scrubbed a hand over his face. His head was a fucking mess.

With Camassia in the rearview, he hit the gas and hoped to get back as soon as he could. Now the worms were out of the can, and it unsettled him.

“What do you mean by lock shit down?” Gray asked warily. “I thought we were solid.”

“We are.” The fight left Darius, and he became resigned. He wasn’t going to be able to explain it in a way that Gray understood, because Darius didn’t understand it himself. “You haven’t given me any reason to think otherwise, so I don’t know. It’s on me, knucklehead. One day, I see it clear as day how good we are together—and then the next…”

“Tell me,” Gray urged.

Darius sighed heavily. “Sometimes I worry I ripped you away from your old life, and that you’ll regret it sooner or later.”

The stretch of silence that followed tied a noose around his neck. He’d known from the get-go that his thoughts were ridiculous.

Gray cleared his throat. “Do you remember what you told me on the yacht when I said I wanted to go home and get back to normal?”

There is no going back to normal.

There was no forgetting that—and Darius didn’t have to respond.

“You also told me I’d recover but that I’d be changed forever,” Gray murmured. “You were right. I’m not the guy I was before—and my dreams from back then aren’t my dreams anymore. Everything’s different.” He took an unsteady breath. “Maybe you’re the one who needs a reminder.”

Darius frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well…you seem to be waiting for me to revert to a guy who doesn’t exist anymore. You worry that I’m going to wake up one day and want everything I used to want.”

The kid was right.

And he wasn’t done. “I can be wading through nightmares and choking on triggers—and nothing will make me regret a single decision I’ve made since you saved me, Darius. I can’t… Shit.” It sounded like a muffled groan, and it shot worry through Darius. “I can’t even wish away the hell I went through anymore, because it brought me to you and the boys.”

Darius swallowed a sudden onslaught of emotions. He couldn’t imagine what was going through Gray’s mind right now, how overwhelming it had to be to come to such a realization.

To Darius, it was humbling and painful. Painful because nobody in their right mind would want their future and happiness to rest on the anguish their loved one had to suffer through to end up where they were now.

“You didn’t rip me away from anything,” Gray said quietly. “The man I am today—God, Darius. I love what we have. I love our home, our children, you, our routines, everything. I love seeing that grin on your face when you and Jayden do your thing in the morning with the chores. I watch you from the window upstairs sometimes, you know. How you teach him stuff.”

The dark road ahead became blurry, and Darius had to clear his throat.

“I don’t wanna look back anymore,” Gray admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, sharing fantasy beginnings with you is hot as fuck—so please don’t take those away from me—”

Darius exhaled a laugh and sniffled.

“But there’s nothing left for me in the past.” This time, there was a smile in Gray’s voice. “I don’t wanna change anything.”

Christ. He cracked Darius’s chest wide open with those words.

Invisible vines that’d squeezed together into a ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach disintegrated and allowed for the anxiousness to fade away.

“You needed to hear that, didn’t you?” Gray asked gently.

Darius nodded even though they couldn’t see each other, and he cleared his throat again. “Yeah. I didn’t know those were the magic words, though. And maybe this doesn’t make sense to you because I’m so fantastic at hiding it, but I’m not very good at talking about feelings.”

It was Gray’s turn to laugh.

Darius smiled to himself and felt like a damn fool. “I’m sorry I had doubts.”

“You should be.” There was still some mirth in Gray’s voice. “On the other hand, I know I gave you a roller-coaster ride before the summer. If I remember correctly, the last conversation we had about our relationship was us joking around about maybe it was time I moved in with you permanently.”

It fucking was. Darius remembered it vividly. It’d been the day they’d brought Jayden and Justin home for good.

“So maybe we can make it official and say we live together now.” Darius threw that out there. “Seeing as we have kids together and all.”

Gray chuckled. “I’d rather go further. Let’s just say we’re looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together.”

Thank God Darius was alone in the car, ’cause he had to look like an idiot with that grin.

“That sounds perfect to me.”

“Good. And since you indicated I used to be a slut, perhaps we should discuss your string of exes too.” Fuck. Gray had to go there. Darius grimaced and braced himself for payback. “I distinctly remember a gorgeous blonde in Colorado who jumped into your arms not that long ago. Then there’s the fact that I’m avoiding going back to your brother’s gym because your on-again, off-again ex-girlfriend works there. And any other woman you banged,” he mocked. “How dare you?”

“You’re making fun of me.”

“Oh, you caught that?”

Darius huffed and reached for his coffee. “Well, congrats on being more assertive than me, I guess.”

“That’s a stretch,” Gray laughed. “Baby, I was seething with jealousy when we were in Colorado. This is me going easy on you because I know what it’s like.”

He knew how to save the day too. Darius couldn’t describe the relief he felt.

“I gotta say I like this,” Gray mused. “Shitty bedside manner aside, you’ve seemed perfect for far too long, but I suppose every rose has its thorns.”

Every rose? The knucklehead didn’t have a fucking idea. Darius was more like a cactus.

To drag out the fun, Gray hummed the Poison song and thought he was hysterical.

Darius just grinned and shook his head.

“Can you imagine? My mom danced to that song when she was young, and you probably did too—”

“All right,” Darius said abruptly. “I think we should quit while we’re ahead.”

Gray kept laughing, the little shit. “Okay. I love you! Hurry home to me.”

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.” Darius disconnected the call, failing to even pretend he was annoyed.

* * *

Around midnight, Darius parked across the street from the bus station, and he sent Niko a text saying he was there. Then he rolled down the window and lit up a smoke.

Niko reaching out to him must’ve taken some guts, so Darius decided to take charge and not let the kid squirm his way out of an offer to get away permanently. Because clearly, shit wasn’t working out in Seattle. Niko’s brother had evidently moved to Chicago, and who knew what’d happened to their aunt.

There was no mistaking the young man who emerged from the bus station. Shoulders bunched up, hood drawn, posture stiff. His jeans looked like they hadn’t been washed in a while. Construction boots that were more brown than yellow.

Niko dipped his gaze a bit, making sure it was Darius in the car, then opened the door and threw a duffel over the bench seat into the back.

“Long time, no see, kid,” Darius said.

“Thanks for picking me up.” Niko got in and closed the door.

At the sight of the first bruise, Darius suppressed a sigh and pulled away from the curb. Niko’s lifestyle was written all over his face. Fading bruises, new bruises, cuts, scrapes, and scars.

“We’ve been trying to reach you.”

Niko averted his stare to the window. “Yeah, I saw in the chat. Sorry, I don’t really… I don’t know.”

Darius exhaled some smoke through his nose and stopped at a red light. “I thought you were gonna stay with your aunt.”

“I was. I did.” Niko cleared his throat and fiddled with the drawstrings to his hoodie. “She’s nice and all, but she doesn’t get it. To her, trauma is something you bury and forget, and homosexuality gets treated at church.”

Darius made a face and threw out the cigarette. “Sorry to hear that, buddy. Good thing you’ll be staying with us now.”

“Huh?” Niko sent him a frown. “I just need a couple days, man. I’ll figure something out.”

“I have no doubt,” Darius replied as the light turned green again. “But judging by the state of your face, I’m not sure I like your solutions. And according to your contact with the FBI, you’re doing as much to get past your trauma as your aunt is.”

“Whoa. You’ve been keeping tabs on me?”

“That can’t come as a surprise.” Keeping tabs was a bit of an exaggeration, though. He happened to know the agent assigned to Niko, and she’d mentioned that the kid hadn’t turned up for any meetings—or therapy sessions.

Niko scoffed.

“I mean it, Niko. I want you to stay with us and get back on your feet.”

“I’ve never been on my feet in the first place,” Niko bit out. “You don’t think I’ve tried getting an honest job? Nobody will hire me. Instead of a high school diploma, I have a criminal record. I don’t even have a driver’s license. Zero work experience—unless you count the summer I worked in my dad’s bodega before he died ten fucking years ago.”

It’d been useless to offer his assistance in Florida. Darius had known from the start that Niko wouldn’t come willingly. Whatever trouble he’d ended up in now had thankfully given them a shot, so maybe it was good. Maybe the bruises on his face could lead to better this time.

“Keep it up,” Darius said mildly. “You’re acing your interview.”

“What?”

Darius chuckled. “Don’t worry, I have work for you. We’ve been a little understaffed at the restaurant since I let the seasonal workers go.”

Niko didn’t say anything at first, and that was fine. They drove out of Seattle in silence, and Darius welcomed the darkness of the highway, each mile bringing him closer to home again.

“By the way. When we rescued Jackie in California, you got pissy because we didn’t contact you.”

“Well, yeah. I wanted to help.” Niko folded his arms over his chest and tapped his foot restlessly. “I can think of no better way to get rid of some of my anger than to take it out on those motherfucking slavers.”

This wasn’t the right time to point out that it didn’t work that way, but Darius made a mental note to bring it up later.

“You’ll get your chance,” he said. “That’s why we’ve been trying to contact you. In a few weeks, we’re gonna try to wipe ’em all out.”

The stunned expression on Niko’s face was priceless—and enough to know that Darius would spend the rest of the drive explaining their plan.