Played by Cara Dee

Eight

Monday and Tuesday flew by in a jumbled mess of strategizing, training with explosives, and picking up supplies and gear. Darius drove all the way to Canada to buy the two Kevlar vests and masks they were missing. He just didn’t want to raise any suspicion—or give the Feds any local places to search once they found out Darius had been in Vegas when this was all over.

On Wednesday morning, he and Ryan got up earlier to talk in private.

“And there’s absolutely no way to disguise your presence in Vegas altogether?” Ry asked and lit up a cigarette.

“I don’t think so. The operation’s too big, and we’ll be there for too long to be ghosts.” Darius sighed and bent down to pick some weeds from the lawn. He threw them into the stream, then straightened up again. “While we’re there, we will need someone to run errands. There’s no getting around that.”

Someone had to accept the key to the house they were renting in Henderson, someone had to pick up their transport, someone had to accept food deliveries—someone simply had to show their face every now and then, and it was best if it was only one person. That way, all the others could be in and out of Vegas without anyone having a fucking clue.

Tariq was going to assist and be backup; that was all Darius could allow.

So in his eyes, the best option was the one they were going with. He was taking the kids to visit Casey, Boone, and Aunt Erin. It was a decent cover.

It felt good to have confided in Ryan. Hiding certain things from Gray was one thing, but Darius needed at least one person to volley thoughts with. Ryan was the obvious choice, though they would have to include the other grunts today too. Withholding information would only make the op harder to complete successfully.

He was starting with River and Reese, since they’d be in charge of recovery.

Sixty-two photos was the total in the end. That was how many pictures Casey had taken and edited and, lastly, sent to Willow. Sixty-fucking-two.

“What’re you thinkin’ now?” Ryan asked.

“That we’re a small fucking crew with a giant task.” Darius stole his brother’s smoke and took a drag before handing it back. “We’re looking at almost thirty hostiles and over sixty victims, and we can’t count on them all being at the compound. It would be too easy.”

“And? Since when does the size of the crew matter?” Ryan widened his arms. “We know for a fact that small units can wipe out hundreds of guerrilla forces.”

Darius shot him a look, because fucking seriously? “This ain’t the First Gulf War, and we’re not Bravo Two Zero. That’s an Ethan-worthy level of arrogance if you’re comparing our unit of semiretired contractors, cops, and soldiers to the SAS.”

Ryan smirked. “You’re just not seeing the solutions, brother. Christ, I didn’t think you could get more cynical.”

Darius wasn’t cynical. He was a realist.

It was the rest of the world that was disgustingly optimistic.

“Darius, listen to me. We have something we almost never had in our active years. Time. We have time to sort shit out on the go.”

Darius quirked a brow in question.

“We’ll be in the middle of nowhere in a space no one knows exists,” Ryan elaborated. “We’re comin’ in hot with several strategies, while our enemy has at best a single preparedness plan in place—just in case of an emergency. In all likelihood, they’ll bring a disoriented shitshow to the table where they’re not really sure who to shoot at.” That was true. “And once the mayhem settles, we can do whatever the fuck we want. You said sixty-two victims on record? Okay, well, sounds to me like we’ll need to take some hostages to figure out where these boys and girls are at—if not all of them can be accounted for at the compound. And there’s time for that.”

Darius hummed and mulled that over. Legit, they did have time. And they were organized, unlike the criminal shitheads.

It wouldn’t even be fair to say it was one enemy against another, because their opponent was composed of several little clans. Each buyer at that auction would have a security guard whose sole job was to protect their boss. Only the Lange organization would have a band of slightly more structured guards at the ready.

There was also the fact that Darius and their crew would be armed to their teeth, whereas the Langes and friends would have handguns. Maybe a few rifles too. Either way, it was nothing in comparison.

It wasn’t all about guns. Alicia would equip them with riot control agents, drugs, and other components she’d developed for this particular operation. And that was just in addition to the rest. To the handguns, to the precision rifles, to the Tasers, to the various means to apprehend and restrain.

Darius had to unclench. Worrying further because they suddenly had more to lose would only turn them into a self-fulfilling prophecy. It was when he fought like he had nothing to lose that he won the war. That was when he was unstoppable, when he sank into the old mind-set of a predator with years and years of training.

“May this be the last field mission of our lives,” he murmured to himself.

“I’d drink to that, but it’s six in the morning,” Ryan replied.

Darius flashed a quick grin and then checked his watch. Yup, time to do the morning chores.

* * *

While many of the others chased a calm by training even more, Darius turned inward and let his determination build up and sharpen his focus. He spent the morning doing inventory one last time, and then he sought out his mates one by one to fill them in on the changes. Everyone was in agreement that it would be best to take hostages in order to figure out where other slaves might be held. They needed that leverage.

River was another guy who didn’t waste time on working out today. He sat quietly on the porch, observing, jotting down things in his field notes.

He was just the guy Darius wanted to talk to right now.

He brought a thermos and two mugs and sat down across from River, who glanced up from his little book with a look on his face that said he’d forgotten his surroundings.

“You want me to interrogate our hostages,” he stated.

Darius chuckled and filled their mugs with coffee. “Aye. Some of them, anyway. I’d like for them to be separated during the interrogation.”

River dipped his chin. “I was going to suggest that. Good. But I hope Reese isn’t a candidate. He’ll get heated.”

Darius had figured that out already. “I was gonna go with you, Ry and me, and Elliott.” On their own, Darius and Ryan weren’t fantastic when it came to extracting information. But together, they made a good team.

A chorus of laughter echoed from the woods, from where the others were training, and Darius had a feeling it was the same reason as the previous days. Everyone wanted to compete against Gray and Niko in a battle to restore old and bruised egos. So far, only Reese had defeated the young men, and he’d thrown up afterward. Darius knew what that was like.

He slid his gaze back to River.

“Have y’all secured an alibi for next week?” he asked.

River nodded. “Our boy, Shay, is gonna cover for us. We trust him.”

That was good. It was only a precaution; the Feds wouldn’t know the Tenley twins had even been in Nevada in the end, but just in case. Everyone needed an alibi. Yesterday, Darius had reluctantly included his father in that part. Pop didn’t want any details, but he knew that if anyone asked, he and Gray were off fishing. Gray was also going to Skype with his mother and big brother next week using a green screen behind him, where Willow would help them. His family would see Gray sitting on the couch in the cabin, when, in reality, he was in a rented house in Henderson.

Then there were Jayden and Justin. They would obviously see Gray once or twice next week in Vegas, and Darius was reluctant to take that away from them. The Feds would have no valid reason to dig that deep, and it would require a solid suspicion against Darius to even attempt to involve two minors.

“By the way, I think I’ve met a civilian buddy of yours,” River mentioned.

“Yeah?” Maybe here in town?

“Madigan Monroe?”

Oh. Darius nodded. “Yeah, I know him.”

“Thought so. Gray was talking about him yesterday, and I put two and two together,” River said. “We have mutual kink friends back home. Madigan and his boy visited this summer.”

Huh. “Small world.” Darius smiled faintly.

“The kink community definitely can be,” River chuckled. “When we came up here the first time, we figured out we have buddies in common with Ryan too.”

That was another topic Darius didn’t delve deeper into. Willow’s world of technology and Ryan’s BDSM universe. When they got going, they lost Darius at the first abbreviation.

“I don’t know what I did in a former life to deserve being surrounded by filthy kinksters in this one,” Darius mused. “You people are fucking everywhere—pun intended.”

River let out a gruff laugh and reached for his smokes. “You and Gray are more than welcome to come see us in Mclean. I don’t think you’re as vanilla as you say you are.”

No, Darius was definitely vanilla. He wouldn’t mind visiting River and Reese’s place, though. Despite that they lived on the property where they ran a big ol’ kink mansion. The lifestyle might not be remotely close to what Darius wanted, but there was nothing wrong with adding some spice to their already fantastic sex life. Hell, he hadn’t known sex could be so good before meeting his knucklehead.

A thought struck him. It happened so fast that it was almost more a feeling than a string of words. River was the right guy to talk to, yet it felt strange. Bizarre, even. Because sex wasn’t something Darius discussed with mates. Or his brothers, for that matter. Not even Ryan. Just the thought made his skin crawl with discomfort.

Fuck it. You can go to the most hostile places on earth, but you can’t talk about sex?

He needed a smoke for this.

After he lit one up, he shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “You remember Bogotá.”

“Hard to forget.” River cocked his head, his expression showing that Darius had his attention.

Christ, he was actually running with this. He was gonna open up. At least it was River. Quiet, mild-mannered, and weirdly compassionate once you got past the rough exterior. And after a joint op in Colombia, there was no question what side of that exterior Darius was on.

“Then you also know the extent of my experience with guys before Gray,” he said. It’d been a celebratory night at a hole-in-the-wall. A job-well-done kind of celebration—with way too much tequila. The memories were hazy at best, but there was no forgetting how he’d ended up sharing a strange woman’s bed that night. With another man, another stranger. And the woman hadn’t been the barrier between the two men, so to speak. It’d been…wild. Considerably more intimate than the couple of times he’d received head from dudes.

Darius recalled actively thinking This works, this fucking works while he’d been kissing another man. He hadn’t reflected on whether he’d enjoyed it; he’d just realized that maybe gender didn’t matter to him as much.

It’d knocked him on his ass a bit, to be honest.

“I never gave that kind of shit any thought,” he went on. “Growing up—I mean… Men dated women, some dated their own gender, but being hetero was still the norm. And I fell into it. I didn’t question anything. Partly, I think, because I had bigger problems. Connecting with anyone on a deeper level didn’t really exist until that guy.” He jerked his chin toward the woods where he heard Gray holler at someone.

River didn’t say anything. He just observed calmly and listened.

Darius took a deep drag from his smoke. He hated this. He wasn’t good at talking.

“I reckon I ran too much on how I perceived other people’s experiences with relationships,” he said. “My folks were always solid, so it became an automatic goal. Get solid with the one you’re dating—whether you feel that’s good or not. Then my work… I distanced myself from women—you know, emotionally—when I was in and out of gigs. I dated on and off when I wasn’t working. Going through the motions and all that. And sex was just sex.” This was where his thoughts didn’t line up, and it frustrated him to no end. On the one hand, he’d tried to go all in with women in the past. On the other hand, he knew now—more than ever—that in didn’t always mean in. If his mind was out the door, it didn’t matter if his body was in a woman’s apartment.

Love on autopilot was a farce.

He’d never actually exchanged an I-love-you with anyone. He’d been close a couple times; he wasn’t completely stunted, but fuck, it was close.

“I always looked at Ry with a little bit of wonderment,” Darius admitted. “I still don’t get how a person can be so in tune with himself.”

River lifted a shoulder. “Comes easier for some people.”

For sure.

“Well, it doesn’t come easy for me, and it’s fucking with my head now that I’m in my first healthy relationship,” Darius replied. “Gray is so damn honest and uninhibited. When it comes to this shit, he can talk about anything—openly. Including sex.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to be, buddy.” River smirked slightly. “I know you’re not a prude, Quinn. You’re just…uncomfortable.”

“No, what gave you that idea?” Darius mustered a laugh at his own expense and shook his head.

River’s smirk grew before it softened. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about. So you’ve been closed off—many people are at some point in their life. You recognize the issue, and that’s what matters. No need to rush things.”

Maybe. Darius had opened up somewhat since last year. But he still had a long way to go—and he wanted to go there. He wanted to be as open about this as Gray was.

“Gray doesn’t strike me as someone impatient,” River noted. “He’ll wait you out.”

Darius had no doubts—anymore—but it was frustrating. “I still live and breathe certain stereotypes.” This was the reason he was forcing himself to talk. He wanted River’s input, preferably without having to voice the problem.

“Jesus, you’re radiating discomfort right now,” River chuckled.

“Fuck you.” Darius blew out a breath and lit up another smoke with the old one. “Okay. Fine. Bottoming—I’m not…I don’t know how to get into that.”

River broke out in a full-fledged grin. “The beauty of bottoming is that someone else gets into that.”

In that moment, Darius regretted everything, all of it, back to the day he was born.

Fuck this.

He said it too. “I regret everything.” Then he rubbed a hand over his mouth and peered toward the tree line. It was a wonder no one had come up to make things worse. Or to refill their water bottles, whichever.

River exhaled a laugh. “I’m sorry. You know it woulda been ten times worse if you’d come to Reese with this.”

Yeah, he was fucking aware.

“Look. I get it.” River leaned forward in his seat and rested his arms on the table. “There’s an adjustment period. You don’t just switch teams like it’s a game and ride off into the sunset. Many people—especially those whose sexuality evolves later in life—go through this in one way or another. And knowing you, it makes perfect sense that it’s about the logistics.” He cracked a little grin at that, and even Darius could see the humor. “You gotta see the big picture here, Quinn. Y’all’re from different times. A lot has happened in the last twenty years, and kids today aren’t placed in the same boxes and indoctrinated with the same social conventions that we were. Of course Gray’s more open. He’s had to deal with fewer barriers.”

Darius nodded slowly, his mind going to Chloe. Even though his own parents had always been unconditionally accepting, the generational factors were real. Where Ma and Pop went, “Oh, you’re gay? All right,” Chloe had gone, “And sometimes, boys like boys. If that’s ever you, it’s totally fine.” The preemptive strike made all the difference.

He had no interest in searching for excuses or places in which to put blame, but he did like explanations. He wanted things to make sense.

“One more thing,” River said. “Not everyone’s into bottoming. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re dating someone who’s not into topping.”

Just how talkative had Gray been?

“He prefers to bottom,” Darius clarified. “But, you know…sometimes… That’s not the issue, though. It’s the awkwardness I wanna get rid of—because the one time, uh… Anyway, I got off on it, but somehow I made Gray believe I wasn’t into it. And I get it. It was weird. I couldn’t relax.”

“You couldn’t relax the first time you had a cock up your ass? How strange.”

Shoot me.

Darius put out his smoke with a little too much force, and his jaw ticked with tension. Yeah, he definitely regretted everything.

“Darius. I’m making light of things because—fuck, it’s sweet. And funny. And nothing to worry about. It’s just new. And unlike most people, you seem aware of things you wanna work on.” River paused, humor fading. “You’re nothing like the guy we met in Bogotá. Reese mentioned it earlier—this is it for you. You and Gray are great for each other. You just gotta give it time. Day by day, he’ll strip away a little bit more of old social conventions, and when you get there—when you get to the point where it’s just you and him in bed, no voices from the past, no inhibitions, no traditionalist shackles, you’ll notice it right away. Trust me. It’s the most liberating thing you’ll experience.”

No inhibitions.

No traditionalist shackles.

That’s where Darius wanted to be. And that was it. That was precisely it. He had to work on shutting out the world. Those voices had to fucking go.

River leaned back again and threaded his fingers together over his stomach. “And hey, if you don’t get there, you’ll just lose him, ’cause, hot damn, that boy’s outta your league.”

Darius let out a laugh, welcoming the humor this time.

River smiled. “No bullshit, we’re happy for you.”

Darius nodded with a dip of his chin. Maybe, just maybe, it hadn’t been too awful that he’d had this conversation.

“Thanks for being my shrink for a while,” he said.

River chuckled and brought out his smokes. “It’s called friendship.”

Perhaps, but this level of openness was still unfamiliar to Darius. He could count the times he’d had heart-to-hearts—primarily with Ryan and Avery—on two hands. In his lifetime. And pretty much all of them had revolved around work and the trauma that followed some ops.

A weight had lifted from his shoulders now.

It felt good.

* * *

When the sun started setting on the day, there was tension in the air. No one said anything, but it was palpable. Because this marked the beginning of their mission.

Darius walked out of the cabin with three duffels and set them down on the porch.

River, Reese, Dante, and Elliott sat at the table with takeout and beers, yet the atmosphere could easily place them at a funeral.

Darius folded back the sleeves of his flannel shirt as Ryan appeared, having just showered in the guest cabin.

They’d exchanged all the words necessary. Everyone had a job and was damn good at it. No need to rehash and remind. They would join Darius in Vegas soon enough, and by then, the groundwork would be finished. River and Reese were flying home to show their faces since they led fairly social lives, and Alicia had a conference to attend in Boston. Tariq would be the first to arrive in Nevada—on Saturday morning.

“You look relaxed as usual,” Darius noted.

Ryan flashed a lazy grin. “Phone sex, bro. I got to watch Angel flog the hell outta Greg.”

Darius shouldn’t have opened his mouth. He shook his head and picked up the duffels again, then descended the steps and headed for the cars.

Gray had been down there a while now.

It was a nice view to arrive to. Gray was on all fours in the back seat of the truck while he was doing…something.

“Can I take a picture to bring with me for lonely nights?” Darius asked.

Gray laughed softly and jumped out. “Hey.”

Peering inside the back seat, Darius lifted his brows and doubted Jayden and Justin knew just how fortunate they were to have Gray as a dad. The knucklehead had turned the back seat into a movie night haven for them. Screens attached to the backs of the headrests, blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, and snacks. He’d lowered the armrest in the middle, where there were cupholders, and those were filled too. Jayden’s Transformers bottle and Justin’s personalized bottle. It was a print of his favorite teddy bear, Frank.

“You’re amazing.” Darius pressed a kiss to Gray’s temple. Then he unlocked the cargo bed cover, pushed it up, and dumped the duffels inside. It felt a little weird not to bring any proper gear, but they’d agreed it was safer for the others to handle it. Dante had already been given Darius’s equipment and body armor, and Ryan was in charge of his weapons.

“Are the boys still upstairs?” Gray asked.

“Yeah, Justin wanted to finish his movie, and Jayden’s packing his book bag.”

Gray smiled and opened the door on the driver’s side. “Six months ago, I never would’ve thought he’d become our very own bookworm.” Then he nodded at the inside of the car. “Come see. I prepared some stuff for you too.”

Darius was there in a flash, curious to see what the knucklehead had done, and he wasn’t disappointed. Jesus, the shit Gray made him feel was unlike anything else. There was coffee, tiny sandwiches, and those delicious cinnamon roll bites.

“I know you’re not a fan of finger food, but if you’re in the middle of driving and the boys get hungry…” Gray trailed off. “There’s more food in the cooler on the floor over there. Which reminds me, what are your dinner plans?”

Darius pulled the man in for a tight hug and kissed his forehead. “I reckon we’ll stop somewhere within the hour. Justin requested McNuggets.”

Gray hummed and tilted his face up.

Darius met him in a kiss. “Thank you. You spoil me.”

“I’m just gonna miss you.” Gray smiled up at him and brushed his fingers over Darius’s jaw. “Promise you won’t sleep well without me.”

Darius chuckled and kissed Gray’s nose. “That’s a given. But thanks.”

Gray grinned at that. “Humor me. I’m gonna be stuck here alone with a bunch of old grunts—”

“Hey. You’ve sworn eternal love and allegiance to an old grunt.”

“Sworn allegiance,” Gray laughed. “That’s you in a nutshell. The boys and I are your recruits—part of your squadron.”

“Well, you are.” Darius smiled lazily and rested their foreheads together. “Maybe we need a call sign. Delta Quinn Zero-Four.”

Gray burst out a laugh and inched away a little. “You came up with that too fast, baby. But I didn’t hear Nolan in there.”

Darius shrugged and smirked. “You’re all Quinns to me.”

The knucklehead shook his head, amused. “That would’ve been romantic if you hadn’t been allergic to marriage.”

Oh…oh, so that’s where his mind went.

Well.

“I wouldn’t say allergic. Allergic is a strong word.” Darius left it at that and hauled Gray in for a final kiss. As much as he wanted to linger and be sappy, they had to get on the road if they were gonna make it to Vegas by dinnertime tomorrow. “I’ll go get the kids.”

“Okay.” Gray remained standing there with a goofy little smile on his face, and it would have to be enough to live on until they saw each other again on Sunday.

The next time Darius walked up toward his home, his past would hopefully be behind him—once and for all.

Everyone was prepared. Everyone had their tasks. Gray knew the protocol in case the Feds knocked on the door. Their operation wasn’t airtight, but where there was a reason to suspect interference, there would also be a cushy spot to land because “innocent until proven guilty.”