Incubus Awakened by Kitty Thomas

20

Luc was looking at the television, but not really watching, when Anna came downstairs. He sat in the big chair and continued to pretend to be engrossed in the cooking program while he listened to her heartbeat.

“The girls are at Sally’s setting up the candles. Tam wanted to wake you, but I thought you needed rest,” he said, breaking the silence.

She sat across from him on the couch and pulled her feet up with her. He noticed with disappointment that she’d changed out of the pink gown. He grimaced at the pajama pants with cartoon candy. Oh, she still looked beautiful, but the wardrobe change seemed to indicate she was pulling away from him again.

Anna raised her hand to finger-comb her hair, and his eyes zeroed in on the scar. He couldn’t seem to shut off the relentless chanting in his brain. Mine. Mine. Mine. The entire Playboy mansion could take up residence here, and he’d only have eyes for her. He wasn’t sure anymore if it was the bond or something more.

Luc flicked the television off and turned to her. “More dreams?”

“I saw her.”

He didn’t have to ask who her was. The look in Anna’s eyes told him it was Beatrice. Had she seen him kill her? Fuck. She must have.

“I see.” Luc’s first instinct was to stay where he was and give her space. After all, she probably wasn’t feeling so attracted to him at the moment. Not with the Bea dream still spinning through her head.

But she looked so lost and forlorn that he couldn’t stop himself from joining her on the couch and pulling her against his side, even if he’d somehow put that look on her face to begin with. He wrapped an arm loosely around her and kissed the top of her head.

She tensed. “Luc, even if I wanted to, I thought you said you can’t feed two days in a row from the same . . . ”

“Shhhh,” he said. “I’m not feeding. I’m just holding. And what we did last night, it was just a taste. It wouldn’t hurt you if we decided to . . . ”

“Good to know,” she said cutting him off with a nervous twitter as she tried to subtly wrench herself free from his grasp.

He held on, not willing to let her escape. “Anna . . . ”

“Can you have sex without feeding? I mean could you with . . . whoever, and then . . . ”

“No. I can’t.”

She pulled out of his embrace, and he let her this time. He didn’t attempt to touch her again for several minutes, and she didn’t pull farther away. If she was asking these types of questions, she was still considering things. Even after the dream. Luc moved closer again, letting his warm breath feather over the back of her neck. He could feel her anxiety warring with lust.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know what you can give and what you cannot, and yet I pursue you. I shouldn’t. But I feel calm when you’re near me. I haven’t had nightmares since you moved into the house.”

Anna spun around suddenly, her wide eyes meeting his. It was almost comical. He knew she saw him as some larger-than-life demon without any frailties or fears because it was the image he wanted her to see. The idea that he could have a nightmare, that he could have a heart in there, was probably more than she was prepared to deal with right now.

Tough.

She must have guessed what the bad dreams were about, because the next words out of her mouth were, “Are you sorry for all those people you killed?”

“Yes and no.” He weighed the words carefully. “It’s hard to be sorry for what you are. Are you sorry you had a cheeseburger last night?”

“No, but I can’t have a cheeseburger without a cow somewhere dying first. You can feed without . . . ”

He shook his head. Best to get this nonsense out of her head right now. “I can, but it’s not easy. I’ve gained self-control but only because I had to. It hurts more to kill than it does to stop now. If I don’t kill, I have to feed every night. When I killed, I could go much longer periods without feeding. I’m a demon. I told you I didn’t want you to forget that. I can’t live up to your standards of morality. The man I killed last night . . . I’m sorry you saw it. I’m only truly sorry for three lives I’ve taken, and you’ve seen those.”

“Oh.” She was quiet for a long time. “You said you had nightmares?”

“About Bea and the two girls after her. I would have nightmares about more, but I vowed never to kill another innocent, and I’ve kept that vow.”

“You’re being punished?” She’d moved back into the circle of his arms, letting him hold her and stroke her hair through the Q&A session.

“Yes. By God.”

“What for?”

“When I was human, my mother said that a part of the devil lived inside me and that I’d return to him someday. She was right.”

“You actually met the devil?”

He laughed. “Not literally, no. The jury is still out on that one, I’m afraid. When I died I was told I showed no remorse for my sins. I’d had my last chance and would never gain entrance into Heaven. Then they turned me into a demon.

“After that, the only time I felt anything was when I was feeding and killing. Until Beatrice. She put a spell on me that made me love her. It made me feel human again. And now I’m this. I still can’t go to Heaven, but I can’t enjoy being a demon anymore.”

Her nose wrinkled as she looked up at him. “Um . . . sorry? I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think Hallmark makes a card for that.”

Luc laughed, the warmth for her bubbling out of him. “I love you.”

Anna jumped from his arms and this time moved back to the chair she’d started in.

He moved to get up, his hands held out in a be reasonable gesture. “Anna, I didn’t mean . . . ” But he had. He’d just stupidly blurted it out, and the look of fear in her eyes told him he’d pushed too far.

“Yes. You did. Don’t come any closer.”

He nodded and sat back down. What else could he do? Arguing the issue was pointless.

“Have you had more dreams about me?” she asked.

“I have only had a couple. My dreams haven’t been as forthcoming as yours. I suspect your mind is more naturally closed. You suppress things and won’t let them come out. How can I have dreams about what you avoid thinking about?”

“I need space. I need you to back off. Let me come to you. I feel like all my options are being cut off, and it makes me feel backed into a corner. I don’t like that.”

He didn’t blame her. It wasn’t as if she’d volunteered to have a demon for a roommate. A demon who had been slobbering all over her almost from the moment she’d arrived. She hadn’t asked for any of this. Anna seemed ready to bolt when he stood up again.

“I want all of you, but I’ll take whatever you have to give. I’d rather have small stolen moments with you than nothing at all.” It was as good of an exit line as he was getting, and he used it to excuse himself from the room. He needed to find Olivia and help her through her withdrawals again anyway.

* * *

Anna sat for a few minutes,stunned. She wanted to run after him, but she couldn’t. He was giving her everything and she was giving nothing. What was her problem? It wasn’t like the women he’d killed hadn’t died happy.

Did I really just think that?This was exactly why they couldn’t be together. She was going to lose her soul anyway if she found a way to rationalize things. He’d been bad as a human and had been given the freedom to be that forever. Until Beatrice had leashed him and taken it all away.

She showered and grabbed a Pop-tart. It was no longer her breakfast of choice, but Luc wasn’t her cabana boy. She couldn’t just snap her fingers and expect him to make her meals.

When she arrived at Sally’s, the harem had just finished setting up the candles.

“You’re a convenient riser,” Maria said.

Anna started to bitch back, then realized there was no venom in the taunt. Whatever she decided to do, she couldn’t blame the girls. She’d chosen them for Luc, and if she didn’t like him sleeping with them, she had only herself to blame.

“Anna! Just the woman I wanted to see.” A heavy brunette, wearing a bright red top and jeans, stepped out from behind a beaded curtain.

“Hi, Sally.”

“I can’t believe you haven’t been by to see me before now.” She held her arms out, and Anna stepped into the hug.

“Oh, well, you know . . . I’ve been battling demons and dealing with gypsies and priests and alternate dimensions and evil curses. It’s hard to find the time sometimes.”

Sally laughed. “You always were a very witty girl. Listen, I was just speaking with Tam. The flower shop next door is closing. I own the building, so I thought if your candles do well here, maybe you’d like to open your own shop.”

“I told you not to ask her. She’s done enough,” Tam said.

“I’ll think about it.” It was a good idea. Anna wasn’t taking profits off the business; she was just doing it for something to do. This was nickel and dime stuff. But it could really help Tam. And with a bigger store, the girls would be able to make some money.

Being away from Atlanta had caused them all to gain a lot of confidence. And pride. They were going to start getting upset about being kept women, especially kept by Anna. The whole thing was just too sordid. Once they got Luc out of the house they’d be going their separate ways, and Anna would feel a lot better if their separate ways didn’t end them back up on street corners.

“I’m going to grab a bite to eat from the coffee shop. Tam? Wanna come with?” Anna said. The breakfast pastry didn’t have staying power. Her body had started getting too used to being fed real food.

They left the girls with Sally and crossed the street to the coffee shop.

“I’m sorry about putting you on the spot there. I don’t think you exist to finance my business,” Tam said after they’d ordered.

Anna rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. Like I even care about that. I’m completely rolling in it. I could buy the whole town if I wanted to. That’s not why I brought you over here.”

“Oh?”

Anna just smiled and raised and lowered her eyebrows a few times.

“OH!” Tam said. “With Luc? How was it? Was it hot?” She leaned across the table, her hands clasped under her chin.

“We didn’t actually sleep together, but it was . . . yeah.”

After she filled Tam in, she waited for judgment to fall, but it didn’t.

“So what’s the problem?” Tam asked.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” she said, finishing her chicken salad.

“He. Is. A. Demon,” Anna hissed. A few patrons turned to stare at them.

She didn’t bother including the part about the Beatrice dream. From her vantage point inside his head, Anna knew how much it had cost him to kill her. And in a way the bitch had had it coming. She’d set the trap. It had been suicide by demon. He’d been the victim in that one. No, the issue was his previous crimes, not the ones he hadn’t been able to help.

“He’s reformed.” Tam waved a hand as if turning from your ways erased centuries of murder and mayhem.

Anna felt something prickle over her skin and looked up. Standing across the coffee shop was one of the most attractive men besides Luc or Cain she’d ever seen. She didn’t know if she was developing demon radar, but she knew the man staring at her was another incubus.