Perfect Embrace by Kaylee Ryan

Chapter 8

Grayson

I woke to another article about Laken and me. I understand how Tate found out about our run-in at the market. I’m sure she has eyes all over this town willing to give her information for her column. What I don’t know is how she found out that Laken came to my place? Not only that, but she knew my girls were there. Her article yammered on about me and my girls getting close to the bookstore owner.

She’s not wrong. My daughters are enamored with Laken.

And me? Well, I don’t know what I am.

I know I think about her all the time. She’s been thrust into my life, and it’s as if the universe is trying to show me how great we could be together.

Shaking out of my thoughts, I park my truck behind the firehouse, and my eyes, with a mind of their own, look across the street at One More Chapter. Laken is walking inside the front door with a box from the bakery in her hands. I watch her until she disappears inside.

“Hey, Cap,” Jacob says as I walk into the firehouse. He’s way too chipper for Monday morning. “Whatcha got there?” He points to the large plastic container in my hands.

“The girls made brownies yesterday.” I shrug, walking past him to the small kitchen and placing the container on the table.

“Don’t hide behind your daughters. You know you were getting your Betty Crocker on,” he teases, opening the container and grabbing a brownie. He shoves half of it into his mouth and moans. “So good,” he says once he swallows. “You know, if this Captain thing isn’t working for you, maybe you could get a job at the bakery in town,” he jokes.

“Laugh it up,” I tell him. “See if I bring you in any more snacks.”

He shoves the other half of the brownie into his mouth and reaches inside the container for another. “I better enjoy it while I can,” he says after swallowing.

I don’t need him to tell me how good they are. I had three last night. I also caved and let the girls have them for breakfast. Not my finest moment, but it is what it is. I also don’t need to tell him that it wasn’t me who helped the girls make the brownies. If they knew that Laken was at my place, baking with my daughters, spending time with them, with us, they’d never let me live it down.

Disappearing into my office to get some paperwork done, I try to push Laken out of my mind. I’ve lived in the same town as her for my entire life, and now all of a sudden, in the last two weeks, she’s everywhere. My daughters adore her, and have for a while now. Laken is the reason for their love of books, and for the fact that my kitchen smells like brownies and her sweet perfume.

I barely slept a wink last night trying to work this… Hell, I don’t even know how to explain. The best way I can describe it is desire. My heart races when she’s near, and my cock, well, he’s definitely ready to party.

I’ve been hit on countless times since losing my wife, and I’ve never had this reaction to any of those women. Hell, I’ve seen Laken since then. I’ve passed her in the mornings as we both jog around town. I’ve seen her at the market, and I’m sure a million other instances in the last three years.

Why her? Why now?

I don’t have the answers to either of those questions.

Shaking out of my thoughts, I force myself to get busy and forget about my new distraction that is Laken Abbott.

* * *

I’m just finishing up our call report for the month when I hear the sounds of my daughters. Yes, I know it’s my girls. I would recognize their giggles and little voices anywhere. Mom has them today, and usually, they visit on Thursdays when she takes them to the bookstore. I don’t know why they’re here, but I’ll never pass up a hug from my girls.

Walking out of my office, I see Mom standing with the twins, Jacob, and a few of the other volunteers. Mason Creek is a small town, and we can’t afford to pay around the clock full-time firefighters. That makes us mostly volunteer-based. We have some incredible men and women on our crew, and I’m thankful for each and every one of them. They make my job easy, most days. “What? No hug for your dad?” I call out.

The girls turn to look at me and take off running. I bend down and scoop them up in my arms. They’re almost too big for me to do this with both of them at the same time. “What are you doing here?”

“We hafta see if the boys wiked the bwonies,” Harlow tells me.

“Hey, Mom,” I say, walking with the girls, one in each arm to greet her.

“Having a good day?” she asks.

“I am. Better now,” I say, kissing each of the twins on the cheek.

“I had to run to the market, and the girls wanted to stop in for a few,” she further explains.

“Daddy, we hafta to have Waken make more bwonies. Hims said dey are all gone,” Hayden announces.

“Laken?” Jacob asks. “I thought the three of you made the brownies?” he asks, a smirk playing on his lips.

“We made dhem wif Waken and Daddy,” Harlow answers.

“Interesting. Does Laken make brownies with Daddy all the time?” Mark, another volunteer, asks.

“Nope,” Hayden replies. She then places her hands on my cheeks and turns my head to face her. “Can Waken come make more bwonies?”

“We’ll see,” I tell her. I don’t want to crush her dreams in front of the guys. There might also be a small part of me that wants Laken to come back over and make brownies as well.

“Girls, we should go and let the guys get back to work. We were just stopping in to say hello.”

“Be good for Nana,” I tell my girls. After a kiss and a hug from both of them, I set them back on their feet, and they immediately go to my mom, each taking one of her hands.

“Laken, huh?” Jacob asks.

“Wait. Hold up. Laken as in One More Chapter? That Laken? The fuck-hot redhead?” Canaan asks.

He knows damn well who we’re talking about. Mason Creek is a small town, and he’s lived here his entire life.

“That’s the one.” Mark smirks.

“Don’t you all have something to do?”

“Yep. And we’re doing it,” Jacob remarks.

“Fine. Mom takes the girls to her bookstore once a week. They’ve grown fond of her. I ran into her at the grocery store, and she had brownies in her cart, and the girls asked to help. You know I’m not about to let them go with her, so she offered to make them at our place, and the girls were so excited, I couldn’t say no.”

“You don’t know how bad I want to give you shit about this.” Canaan grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “And I plan to, but first, let me just say this.” He locks his gaze on mine, suddenly serious, and I know whatever it is he has to say is going to hit deep. That’s just how Canaan is. “I can see that this is eating you up inside. Don’t let it. You have to live, Grayson. For you, and for those adorable little girls. They need to see what it means for a man to adore a woman. They need to know not to settle for some douchebag who doesn’t treat them right. Sure, they can see that with how you treat them, but that’s a father’s love. They need to see the right way for a man to love a woman.”

“Damn, C.” Mark whistles.

“He has spoken.”

I run my hands through my hair. I’m frustrated for these feelings for Laken that I can’t explain. Except, if I’m really honest with myself, I know what they are. It’s desire. And if I’m truly honest, it feels damn good to feel something again when it comes to a woman.

“I know I’m a flirt, and I play the field, but you can bet your ass if, and when, a woman comes along who I like well enough to let into my home and bake with my daughters, I’m going to pursue her. Pursue that connection and see where it goes,” Canaan adds.

“And what happens when she breaks their hearts? Huh? What happens when I let her in, and we lose her?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I see the sympathy on their faces, and I have no doubt they’re all thinking about my late wife.

“What happened to Holly was tragic.” I hear from behind me. Turning to look over my shoulder, I see my best friend, Ryder. “It was an accident, Grayson. You can’t live your life thinking you’re going to lose everyone you get close to. You don’t want your daughters to grow up with that worry in the back of their mind. It’s your job to show them how to live.”

“What is this, tear Grayson apart day?”

“You know that’s not what this is.” Ryder’s tone is scolding.

“We just want to see you happy, Cap,” Jacob adds.

“What are you doing here?” I ask Ryder, ignoring Jacob’s comment. Do they think I don’t miss the feel of a warm body next to mine? That I don’t crave the intimacy? When I’m in bed at night that the memories of my late wife and all that she’s missing doesn’t kill me? All that our daughters are missing? It fucking destroys me.

“Wanted to see if you and the girls wanted to come to dinner at my place tonight. The condo is too damn quiet.”

“Olivia have Kiwi this week?” I ask him. Kiwi is their pet bird that they share custody of.

“Yeah,” he sighs.

“What can we bring?” I ask him.

“Nothing. I’ve got it covered. The twins still like those fruit punch drink pouches?”

I nod. “They do.”

“Seven. I’ll let you get back to saving lives and all that.” He smiles and waves before turning and walking away.

“I’ve got work to do,” I mumble, turning on my heel and heading for my office. I’ve had all of the interventions I can take for one day.

Once I reach my office, I shut the door and lean against it. I know what they’re saying is right, but it’s not that easy. Hell, I don’t even know how to date. Not really.

Holly and I started dating in high school. She’s the only woman I’ve ever slept with. How do I do that? How do I allow myself to sleep with someone else when it was supposed to only have been her? How do I bring another woman into my daughters’ lives and still make sure they know who their mother was and that she loved them with every ounce of her soul?

Releasing a sigh, I move to my desk and get back to work. I’m not going to figure it out today. I’m not sure I’ll ever figure it out at all.

* * *

“Daddy, can we go pway?” Hayden asks.

I look at their mostly empty plates and nod. “Stay where I can see you.”

“Okay!” my girls reply, pushing back from the patio table before racing to Ryder’s backyard. They go directly for the bag of toys we brought over.

“So, Laken?” Ryder asks as soon as my daughters are out of earshot. “What’s going on, man?”

“Fuck if I know.” I drain my root beer, wishing it was a real beer. “All of a sudden, she’s everywhere. My girls talk about her all that time. I mean, they've mentioned her before, but the last two weeks, it’s been Laken this and Laken that. Hell, even my mom and Christine are enamored with her.

“Then the other night, I took her and Lenora back to her place. They were too far gone to drive, and it didn’t feel right to let them walk in their condition. I had to carry her upstairs, and when I put her to bed, she told me I smelled good.”

“Oh, the horror,” Ryder jokes.

“It’s the way it made me feel that’s horrible.”

“How did it make you feel?”

“You sound like a therapist.” I laugh.

“Just call me Dr. King.” He smirks. “Now, please proceed. We can go inside, and you can lie down on the couch if you’d be more comfortable,” he jests.

“Fuck off,” I say with no heat in my words. We’re both quiet for a few minutes as I stare down at my lap. I hate talking about this shit, but Ryder’s my best friend. He was there for me when Holly died, and I’ve been there for him since his split with his wife, Olivia. This is what we do, even though I hate it.

“Wanted,” I finally say. “It’s been a long damn time since I’ve felt that from a woman who’s not related to me.” I feel wanted by my daughters every day, but this is a different kind of want. It’s filled with desire and need and a craving for intimacy.

“She’s not just trying to latch on to you so she can say she bagged the elusive bachelor of Mason Creek.” He nods in understanding.

“Exactly. Lenora told me she crushed on me all through high school. She also made it sound like she still harbored those feelings. Laken was drunk when she told me that I smelled good. Surely Lenora is mistaken. I can’t stop thinking about it. Add in the fact she’s all my girls talk about and that she baked with them. And she was there for them, man. She barely paid me any attention. She was so damn patient with them and explained things, but at the same time, she’s not a pushover either. It’s like she gives them discipline in a way that they don’t even realize. She got them to clean their room, and it’s stayed clean so far. It’s only been a day…” I chuckle. “But those little tornadoes usually don’t keep it clean that long.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re ready.”

“What about them?” I nod toward the small backyard area where the girls are playing. I won’t deny that I crave intimacy and companionship. I know Holly would want me to move on and be happy. However, I can’t bring just anyone into my daughters’ lives.

You already did.

“They’ll follow your lead. You can’t protect them from heartbreak, Grayson. It’s a part of life. It’s how you deal with heartbreak. Show them that you have to dust yourself off and try again. Who knows, it might turn into your second chance at happily ever after.” It feels like a vise is squeezing my heart in my chest for multiple reasons. One, loving someone who isn’t my wife has me feeling all kinds of guilty, and two, the thought of loving Laken, well, that’s not a completely unwelcome thought.

“What about you and Olivia?”

“I love her.” It’s his turn to be in the hot seat. “I don’t know if we can salvage our marriage, but I know that I’ll always love her.”

“I’ll always love Holly.”

“I get that, man. Any woman in your life from here on out will need to accept that. She gave you those two angels. But you see, our situations are different. Holly is gone. She didn’t choose to leave you, Gray. She died, man. I know that’s harsh, but it’s the facts. You have the chance to move on. My wife left me, and I have to see her around town and drive her drunk ass home from Pony Up. I’ll have to watch her move on, and I’m telling you, man, I don’t know that I’ll be able to handle that.”

“Then fight for her.”

He nods. “You fight for you. And I’ll fight for me.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“You are. You just have to admit it to yourself and allow yourself to move on. Holly would want you to move on.”

I nod. I’ve had enough of the deep conversations for the day. I’m at my max capacity for talking about it. “Girls, pack up your toys and give Uncle Ryder a hug. We need to get home and get baths,” I call out to my daughters. I watch as they scurry to place everything back in the bag of toys and then rush to hug Ryder.

“Thanks for dinner.” I stand and toss our empty plates in the trash.

“Thanks for the company. Leave all that. I’ll get it. You’ve got dad duties.”

“You sure?”

“Go.” He waves me off.

Grabbing the bag of toys and slinging it over my shoulder, I hold a hand out for each of my girls and lead them to my truck. My conversation with the guys and Ryder earlier today and my conversation with Ryder tonight are replaying in my mind. They’ve made some good points, and I can admit to myself that I’m lonely. I have my daughters, but I miss the touch of a woman.

I need to get the girls in bed and a shower myself and bed. All of this “feelings” talk has me exhausted.