Perfect Embrace by Kaylee Ryan

Chapter 10

Grayson

A blush is a thing of beauty

Things are heating up with our fire chief and local book enthusiast.

If her blush is any indication, I’d say things are moving along quite nicely.

Is there anything more romantic than the hair tuck? I think not.

More to come from the happy couple.

Climbing into my truck, I wave through the front window at the girls. They love staying with both sets of grandparents, and although I feel guilty, like I’m pawing them off, I learned early on to take the break when I could get it. It took me a long time to accept that I didn’t need to be with them all the time if I wasn't at work. I love my daughters. They are my life. However, it’s good for them to get a break from me as well.

I struggled with it when we lost Holly, but the last three years have indeed shown me that it does, in fact, take a village, or in my case, a small town to raise my twin girls.

I’m barely out of the driveway when my cell rings. Seeing my dad’s name flash on the dash, I reach over and hit Accept. “Hey, Dad.”

“Son.”

“I didn’t do it.” I laugh. My dad is rarely serious. He’s always cutting up and finding the bright side of things in life.

“Read the MC Scoop lately?”

“I have.”

“Well?”

“Well, what? We did, in fact, have to save a cat from a tree yesterday afternoon. The cat and all of my guys are fine. Mrs. Donaldson is happy as a lark to have her precious Pussy back. And before you ask, yes, that’s the cat’s name.”

“No shit?” he asks with a chuckle.

“Yep.”

“Good to know. However, that’s not what I was asking about.”

“I know.” I’ve been meaning to talk to my parents about the MC Scoop, and well… the scoop of what’s going on in my life, but when I pick the girls up, they’re so happy to see me, I can’t find it in me to send them away while I talk to my parents. And, honestly, I’m avoiding. It sounds like my time is up.

“Laken?”

“No. Yes. I mean, I don’t know.” I heave a heavy sigh. “She’s everywhere,” I tell him. “The bookstore when I meet Mom or Christine.”

“She owns the bookstore, Gray,” he says with laughter in his voice.

“I wasn’t finished. She’s at Java Jitters, the market, Pony Up. Hell, she was even at the salon today when I took the girls to get haircuts.”

“She’s a sweet girl. Your mother talks highly of her.”

“The girls like her.”

“Do you like her?”

“Yeah,” I admit. “I think I do. I asked her out tonight. The girls are staying with Christine and Marty.”

“How are you?”

For as much as my dad likes to joke around, he knows me better than anyone. He knows without me saying the words that tonight is hard for me. “I didn’t plan on asking her out.”

“Explain that,” he says. I can imagine him kicked back in the recliner, one hand propped behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles.

“She’s everywhere, including my thoughts. She made brownies with the girls, which I know they told you and Mom all about. Then today, we walked into the salon, and there she was. The girls ran to her, and her face lit up when she saw them. Fucking lit up, Dad. Then she called them by their names, and she was right. She can tell them apart. The girls being the girls, told her something they overheard me tell Ryder, and Laken… she blushed. It was endearing, and I just… asked her out. I have to know what this is. I have to know why I can’t stop thinking about her. I don’t know why she’s suddenly in my life, literally around every damn corner, but I have to find out.”

“I think it’s just your time, son. It’s time for you to pick up the pieces and let yourself be open to love again.”

“I don’t know how to do that. Holly, she was—” My voice cracks. “I haven’t dated anyone but her since I was sixteen years old, Dad. How do I do this?”

“It’s just like riding a bike, Gray. Take the girl to dinner, show her a good time. Talk, and not about the weather or the girls. Really talk to her. Find out if you have anything in common. Let yourself be open to the possibility of loving again.”

“Yeah,” I agree, but only half-heartedly.

“I need to get back inside. Your mom was on the phone with your aunt Darla. If I don’t rescue her, she might make me sleep on the couch.”

“You’ve never slept on the couch a day in your life.”

“That’s because you should never go to bed angry. You never know when your last day here on earth will be.” I don’t reply to that because I know all too well how short life can be. “Bring my granddaughters to visit tomorrow.”

“You’ll see them Monday.” I laugh.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him. He and I both know it’s not to see the girls, but for him to make sure I’m okay after tonight and whatever it happens to turn out to be. Good or bad, I know that my dad and my mom will both be there. They’ve helped me so much since losing Holly. I hate to think about where I would have ended up or how my daughters would have ended up without their help.

I’m heading toward home but make a quick decision to turn right instead of left and head just outside the city limits of Mason Creek to the cemetery. It’s been at least six months since I’ve been here. The last time being when I brought the girls for Holly’s birthday to place flowers on her grave. It was January and blistering cold, so we didn’t stay long.

Parking my truck, I make my way to Holly’s grave. It’s a path I’ve walked many times in the last three years. Most of which was the first year we lost her. When I reach my destination, I stop and take a seat on the grass, crossing my legs. My hands absently pick at the grass as I let the warm summer sun beat down on me while I collect my thoughts.

“Hey, Holls. Sorry, it’s been so long since I’ve been by. Work is busy as ever, and the girls…. Damn, I wish you were here to see them. They both have your heart, and it shines through every damn day.” I smile when I think about my late wife. In all the years we were together, and even the time before that in school, I’d never seen her be mean or cruel to anyone. She just didn’t have it in her.

“They’re with your parents tonight having a sleepover. They’re thriving, and even though I know that’s what you would want for them, my heart still aches that you’re not here to see it.

“I have something to tell you.” I stop there. I don’t know how to tell her about Laken. I debate if I should at all, but Holly wasn’t just my wife. She was my best friend. “I asked a woman out on a date tonight.” I expel a heavy breath as the words pass my lips. “She’s the first since I lost you. There’s been no one else but you, and I’m lonely, Holls. And this woman, she’s everywhere. It’s like she’s being thrust into my life. And the girls, they know her. They know her, and she’s so good with them.

“I’m struggling with that, Holls. I’m not trying to replace you. I promise you I’m not. I just… I don’t know how to do this.” The heat behind my eyes begins to burn. I blink hard once, twice, three times to keep the tears at bay. “You were the love of my life.”

I give myself some time to gather my composure before starting again. “You might know her, Laken Abbott. She was younger than us in school. Her older sister Lenora too. Our moms have been taking the girls to her bookstore once a week, and they adore her, Holls. And she’s so good to them. She can tell them apart. You know what that means, right? She has to pay really close attention to be able to tell our daughters apart, and she can, Holly.

“She’s beautiful.” I whisper the words, letting the wind carry them. “It’s been three years since I lost you, and she’s the first woman in that time to make me want to put myself back out there. I’m sorry if this hurts you. I’m sorry if you feel as though I’m forgetting about you. I promise you I’m not. I’m just trying to move forward.

“In the last couple of weeks, it seems as though every person I know wants to dish out love advice. Would you believe that it was one of my guys at the station who really got to me? It was Canaan, and he told me I should want our daughters to see the way a man is supposed to love a woman. That it is okay for me to move on and teach them what a healthy relationship is like. For so long, I couldn’t get past the fact that you were no longer here with us. I didn’t want to bring a random woman into our daughters’ lives. I didn’t want them to feel as though I was replacing you.”

I suck in a deep breath, close my eyes, and tilt my head back to the sky. “I’m lonely. I miss the intimacy and the companionship. I don’t know if Laken is the one. I don’t know what tonight is going to bring, but I do know she’s the only other woman besides you who has affected me this way. I don’t know why I just told you all of that. I guess I just… I just want you to know that I love you. That I will forever and always love you. I think that I have the room, you know? For someone else. I think I’m ready.”

Climbing to my feet, I kiss the tips of my fingers and place them against her headstone. “I’ll bring the girls by to see you real soon.” With that, I turn and make my way to my truck. There are so many emotions swirling through me. I’m not sure which one I should address first.

I’m sad. This isn’t how we had our life planned. She was supposed to be here with me, helping me raise our daughters. Holly should be here watching them grow up. The tragic loss of her in our lives will forever leave a hole where she should have been.

I’m nervous. Holly and I started dating when I was sixteen years old. She was my everything, and now she’s not here. I have no doubt that if she still walked this earth that she would still be mine.

I’m excited though. Laken is gorgeous with her long red hair and those big hazel eyes. And she has a crush on me. I can’t help the smile that tilts my lips. She thinks I smell good, and I know for certain she does as well.

I’m turned on. Just thinking about the blush on her cheeks drives me mad. She’s all I’ve been able to think about. Earlier today, at the salon, I got too close. Her scent, something fruity, wrapped around me, the same as the night I carried her to her apartment. I want to kiss her lips. I need to know if they’re as soft as they look. And her skin, I’m sure, will be like silk under my touch.

I don’t know what tonight is going to hold, but I know that I have to try. Laken makes me want to try, and that’s something. That’s me feeling again. More than just love for my daughters and pain from the loss of my late wife.

She makes me want to live.