Inked Obsession by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 15

Eliza

The next morning, I opened my eyes to a man’s leg between mine, his arm wrapped around my waist. He was angled slightly so he cupped my breast, his rough palm against my nipple. I swallowed hard, knowing this wasn’t a dream. I was actually waking up with Beckett Montgomery holding me.

It was…odd.

After we’d shattered in each other’s arms and then lay there, panting, we hadn’t really needed to talk. We had cleaned each other up and then continued pleasuring each other—though with only one condom, there was only so far we could go. However, Beckett seemed to know exactly what to do to make every single moment count. It was intense, breathtaking, and possibly the best sex of my life.

And yet, when we finally collapsed, exhausted, sated, and in each other’s arms, I had been afraid that when I woke up this morning, it wouldn’t be Beckett behind me, but the ghost that stood between us.

I knew the man wrapped around me wasn’t Marshall. It hadn’t been Marshall for a long time. Far longer than he had been gone on patrol, tour, or even from this Earth.

Our sex life had dwindled over time—a lot of our life had. I had thought it was because he was tired. Because he was working too hard. Because I was working so hard. I hadn’t realized it was because he had fallen for someone else—perhaps a woman he should have been with all along.

Beckett’s breathing deepened slightly, and his hand slid down to grip my hip. “Good morning,” he said, his voice gruff against my neck.

“Good morning,” I said and licked my suddenly dry lips.

He shifted and kissed my neck. I shivered, arching into him. His cock was hard against my backside, and he kissed my neck again. “I wish I could just slide into you right now, but I can’t and be safe.”

“I know,” I said, wiggling back into him. His groan sent quakes down my body.

“I would say maybe later, but we have to pack.”

I froze for a moment before sighing. “We need to check into our flights.”

“And the bubble of vacation is over.”

He said all this, yet didn’t let go of me. He kept me in his arms, and I closed my eyes, wishing that any awkwardness that crept over me would just go away.

Why? Why was everything so weird?

“I guess vacation is winding down,” I whispered.

“I’m not going to say I’m sorry for what happened,” he said, his voice gruff. I froze for an instant before untangling myself from his arms and twisting to look at him. His eyes were dark, his beard coming in a little fuller. I reached up and pushed his hair away from his face so I could look him in the eyes.

“I don’t think this was a mistake.”

His eyes widened. “Eliza, did I take advantage of you?”

I wanted to growl, wanted to push at him. He was being sweet. So, I would be sweet, as well.

“No. You didn’t take advantage of me. If anyone took advantage, it was me.”

His hand tightened on my hip. I hadn’t even realized he had been stroking me. It felt natural, as if we had done it a thousand times before. And yet, I knew better. Marshall had never been a cuddler, and I hadn’t realized that I was until this moment. Well, that was something else new I had learned about myself.

“You took advantage of me? I don’t think so.”

“I wanted you. I wanted last night to be about you and me and no one else. Not our families’ expectations. Not Marshall. Not even Brenna.”

His gaze shot up. “Why the hell would it be about Brenna?”

I cringed. “Maybe because I thought she loved you.”

He shook his head. Paused. “You know? So did I.” He frowned. “She set me straight. Instead, she just hates me for keeping secrets.”

“And here we are again, with the secrets.”

“Oh, I can’t keep this a secret,” he said quickly.

I snorted and then quickly put my hand over my face. “Did I just snort? In bed with you?”

“Yes, but it’s fine. It was cute.”

“I’m so awkward, Beckett. As I was saying, I wanted to have sex. With you. I didn’t actually think I would come to Florida and have sex with someone. I did think maybe I would breathe and flirt and just be okay with everything. I know that it might have worked out completely different than what I had first thought this week could be, but I’m glad. I can’t walk away with regrets. I won’t. The more I think about it, the more those regrets might just hurt everything. I have remorse about so many other things in my life. I can’t have this be one of them.”

“Damn it, same here. I tried not to think about you over the years.”

It was my turn to frown. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really. I tried. I mean, you were married.”

“You’re allowed to find a married woman attractive. But you didn’t say anything.”

“How could I? I always tried to be there to help you when you were alone.”

“I will forever be grateful that the Montgomerys never let me dwell. You never made me feel like I had to beg for help, either. Because there are some things I can’t do on my own.”

“We were always there for you. We always will be. Even if I completely fucked up our relationship.”

“You didn’t. If you did, then I did, and I’ve already fucked up too much in my life. I really can’t add this.”

“So now what? What do we do?”

He squeezed my hip and then shifted to sit up. The sheet dropped down slightly, and I saw his naked hip. I groaned. I couldn’t help it. He looked at me, his gaze smoldering.

“I really wish I could just pull that sheet down and have my way with you, but we’re having a serious conversation.”

I nodded and tugged the sheet up over my chest as I sat up.

“We’re going home,” I said. “Once there, are we never going to talk about this again and just try to make sure our friendship works? Because you are my friend. Annabelle and Brenna and Paige might be the closest thing I have to sisters, but you’re my friend, Beckett. You’ve always been there, even if we did our best not to think about each other like that.”

“You were married,” he said again softly.

I swallowed hard. “I only had eyes for my husband.”

“I didn’t think about you in any way beyond that I thought you were hot until well…until recently. Then you were grieving, and I was dealing with shit.”

“You slept hard last night,” I whispered.

“It might have been because of you. Or because of this bed.”

“This bed is very comfortable. I kind of want to bring it back to Annabelle and Jacob’s.”

He snorted. “Jacob makes enough money, I’m sure he could afford it.”

“Well, I’ll put it on the list,” I whispered, teasing.

“What are we doing when we get back?” he asked. “I’m not good about this. Feelings, relationships, taking the right steps… I came here to breathe, and I sure as fuck did.”

That made me laugh. “Same. I don’t think I expected this. Or you.”

“It’s all up to you. You make the decisions.”

“Now that’s a cop-out.”

“Fine,” he said gruffly, then shoved his hands through his hair. “I want you. I want you again. Once wasn’t enough for me.”

“We both came more than once,” I teased.

“Fine, one night wasn’t enough. I don’t know if you’re ready for that. I don’t even know if I am. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with our family,” he said dryly.

“Oh, yes, because it’s ours. My brothers? They’re just as bad as the Montgomerys.”

“I can’t keep any more secrets. Everyone already knows what happened.”

“Okay. We don’t keep secrets. I also don’t want to just reveal the fact that we slept together while on vacation,” I said quickly. “At least not at a Montgomery family dinner or anything.”

Beckett shuddered. “No, that’s not something we’re going to do. Ever. If the girls ask you?”

“Then I’ll tell them.”

“I’ll tell the guys. We’re going to tell them that we slept together on vacation so there’s no secrets. Then what? Seriously, what happens when we get home?”

I looked at him and swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I want, Beckett. I do know I don’t want it to go back to the way it was. When we were both trying to live in each other’s orbits without actually speaking about anything important. I don’t want to be the person who cries in your lap anymore.”

“I’ll always be there if you need to cry in my lap,” he whispered, and I swallowed hard, tears pricking the backs of my eyes.

“I know that. I totally do. And it should scare me, but it doesn’t. All I know is that I don’t want to lose this friendship. Maybe we should just see what it feels like when we get home.”

He nodded and swallowed hard. “That sounds like a plan. We’ll get home, unpack, let everybody know about our vacation so there’s no secrets—because God forbid we have any more of those—and then we’ll decide what we want and what to do.”

“Maybe the whole vacation haze made things a little easier.”

“There’s nothing easy about what we did last night,” he drolled, and I laughed.

“True. Although some things were a little easier than I thought they would be,” I said with a wink, trying to defuse the situation.

Anxiety filled me, and I wanted to shake, wanted to do something. Still, I tried to smile. Tried to pretend like I wasn’t freaking out inside.

“Okay, so we go to the airport. We go home. And then we regroup.”

“So this might be the last time I ever see you naked?” I said with a tease, wincing.

“I sure as fuck hope not,” he growled and then kissed me again.

The sheet fell, and I groaned. And then Beckett was over me, hovering. His cock was hard, pressed against my belly. I wrapped myself around him.

When my phone rang, he pulled away, both of our chests heaving as we stopped to catch our breath.

“I sure as hell hope not,” I repeated his words. I reached over and looked at the phone. “It’s Annabelle.”

“You should answer. I should get back to my room and pack.”

Something twisted inside me. Why did this feel like an ending? Though perhaps it should be. “We’re on different flights home,” I reminded him.

“We can still go to the airport together.”

And then we’d figure things out.

He left after I watched him dress. I waited to call Annabelle back.

Instead, I quickly texted her that I called her right back, checked into my flight, and swallowed hard again.

Had I made a mistake? I didn’t want to lose my friend. Something had happened last night. Something more than the sex. I wasn’t the same person I was when I started this trip.

I wasn’t even the same person I had been when I woke up. Change sure happened fast when you weren’t expecting it. I looked down at my phone. I knew I needed to pack, but I let the tears fall instead. I wasn’t upset. This emotion wasn’t for what’d happened the night before.

It wasn’t about Beckett at all. It was about me. Because things had changed. And somehow, I needed to catch up. I would.

I needed to breathe. And then I would find out who I needed to be. And if this was a moment in time that would never be repeated, I would have to be okay with that. I would have to hope that I hadn’t lied to Beckett.

About this not being a mistake. Because I had enough of those waiting for me at home. Enough choices to make.

I didn’t know if Beckett Montgomery needed to be one of them.