SEAL Daddy by Sofia T Summers
Nicole
The moment I’d opened my father’s door, the feelings of infatuation all came flooding back. It just took one look at Jason’s handsome face, and I remembered why I’d slept with him in the first place. I hated the emotions that churned inside me through dinner. I cursed myself for wanting to wrap my arms around Jason’s neck and beg him to understand.
I just knew Charlotte’s eyes would be a dead giveaway. It was a large part of the reason I didn’t want the two to meet. Besides that, Jason had no right to make demands. Bringing up paternity tests and making declarations of entitlement, I wanted to scream, but Charlotte was falling asleep in the pop-up crib my father kept around. If I’d shouted everything I wanted, Dad would’ve found out everything in the worst possible way.
I couldn’t let that happen.
Sitting in my living room the next afternoon, the dystopian drama I watched with Jessica was paused on the television screen sitting over my fireplace. We were supposed to be watching the first couple of episodes of the new season while Charlotte napped, but Jessica casually asked how the dinner had gone. One simple question turned into a twenty-minute monologue of me explaining the previous night’s events.
“Wait,” Jessica said before taking a sip of her rosé. “So… did you tell him?”
“Not outright, no,” I confessed.
“Nicole!” Jessica groaned. “Why not?”
“Because my father was in the next room,” I reminded her. “Because we only had about five minutes to ourselves, and I didn’t like the tone he took with me.”
My friend rolled her eyes. “He was a Navy SEAL. They’re not exactly chosen for emotional sensitivity.”
“I don’t care,” I muttered, taking a large swallow from my wine glass. “I’m not going to indulge those kinds of demands. The sheer audacity… I don’t ‘owe’ him anything.”
“Okay, that was stupid of him to say,” Jessica relented. “But it’s understandable that he was freaking out. That doesn’t make for the most… polished response.”
Finishing my wine, I stood from the navy sectional sofa, throwing my faux fur blanket to the side. I put more ice cubes in my stemless glass. Pouring another serving of the pink wine over the ice, neither Jessica nor I were trying to get drunk. I was just looking to pretend I was anywhere else for a couple of hours. In my mind, I was in the south of France on summer vacation, sipping chilled wine and not worrying about Jason Miller.
“I know,” I called from the far back of the townhouse towards Jessica. “I just couldn’t help but get angry about it. You know how my inner-feminist rages against the tiniest whiffs of male privilege.”
Jessica laughed, “I remember when you made that drunk frat guy cry at a keg party. He made one inappropriate comment towards another sister, and you dragged him.”
“I forgot that,” I chuckled while returning to the sofa.
“You’ve always been adamant about women having agency,” my friend continued. “I’ve always been so proud of you for finishing grad school and starting your job while raising Charlotte. You were given choices, and you made your decisions based on what your heart told you was best. Still….”
“What?”
Jessica sighed, “Is it fair to let you have a choice while taking Jason’s away? I know he’s not owed any explanations or apologies, but he does deserve a chance.”
Staring into my wine glass, I nodded. “I know, Jess.”
We finally finished the first episode of our television show. It was still another hour before Charlotte had to wake up.
“Do you want to watch another one?” Jessica asked, setting aside her glass.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ll pop some more kettle corn.”
“Cool, I’m going to use the bathroom.”
“Do you want some more wine?” I asked her.
“No, I’ve gotta drive home,” she reminded me. “One glass is enough for me.”
Heading into my little powder room under the stairs, I went into the kitchen to pull out another bag of microwave popcorn. I was tossing the plastic wrapper in the trash when the two resonant notes of my front door’s bell echoed through the main floor of my house.
It was Sunday afternoon. It couldn’t be a mail delivery because I wasn’t expecting a package. Setting aside the popcorn bag, I tugged at my white t-shirt’s hem as I went to see who it could possibly be.
“Jason?” I questioned with blatant surprise.
Standing on my little front porch, Jason wore the same olive-green jacket from the night before. His button-up was replaced with a gray t-shirt, but his dark eyes were just as relentless as the night before. He was a wolf on the hunt, and I was starting to feel like his prey.
“I got your address from your dad’s house last night,” he explained without a greeting. “We never finished talking.”
Raising my eyebrows, I pressed, “So, you show up at my house unannounced?”
“I’m running out of options, Nicole,” Jason insisted.
As the bathroom door squeaked behind me, I’d almost forgotten Jessica was still there. Her chocolate-brown eyes went wide as they glanced between us both. She rubbed her hands against the sides of her old jeans.
“I, um, think I’m going to make myself scarce,” Jess declared quickly. “We can watch that second episode another time.”
“Jess, no,” I insisted.
“Nicole,” she said, staring me down. “Yes.”
As she grabbed her phone and cherry-red leather tote, I knew this was her sisterly push, a bit of typical tough love. I still wanted to dig my heels in the sand. I wasn’t ready to surrender control. She smiled as she brushed past Jason on the front porch.
“We can, um, get acquainted later,” she told him with a knowing look.
“Sure,” he agreed.
“Jess!” I called, grumbling under my breath.
Jessica didn’t stop. In the cool afternoon sun, she was already throwing on her aviator sunglasses and heading towards her little green hatchback.
Not turning back around, she answered with a quick wave, “Bye, Nicole!”
Jason was still standing on the front porch, waiting to be invited in. I debated just shutting the door in his face, but I sighed wearily.
“Come inside, but be quiet,” I insisted. “Charlotte’s taking a nap.”
His six-foot frame felt imposing in the small space. The older townhouse didn’t have the high ceilings of Jason’s oversized house. Still, he didn’t complain. I let him loiter around the foyer as I picked the popcorn bowl off the sofa and wine glasses. Jason followed me past my dining table and into my kitchen.
Leaning against the vanilla-white cabinetry, Jason’s palms pressed into the light stone counters. He didn’t say a word as I put the few items into the dishwasher. The tension of last night still hung between us. I didn’t know if I wanted Jason to just kiss me or go ahead and scream.
He finally realized I wasn’t going to be the first one to speak, and I refused to be some welcoming hostess by offering him refreshments. This wasn’t a social call.
“You never finished what you were going to say last night,” Jason asserted in his familiar baritone.
It brought to mind the feel of worn velvet and a smoky haze. Something was appealing about his voice I couldn’t articulate, but it still compelled me to come closer. It wanted me to surrender to Jason’s undeniable appeal.
“Does it really matter?” I sighed, tension building in my muscles. “Nobody can change the past, not even you.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to try and understand,” he swore, his chest rumbling with frustration. “Please, Nicole, put me out of my damn misery.”
With the island dividing us, I stared back at his stoic face. His features were composed, but his dark eyes were desperate. I’d been so ready to deny him, letting him chase me to the ends of the earth, but his pleading look changed everything. If I asked him to beg on his knees, I knew Jason would do it. He’d crawl across hot coals if it meant getting his reprieve.
“Why do you keep asking questions if you already know the answer?” I asked him quietly.
His flattened palms balled up into fists on the granite. It was all the confirmation he needed to realize the truth. Jason was Charlotte’s father, and he finally knew it. Blood rushed to my head as I waited for the blowback to hit me.
“Two years,” he muttered under his breath. “Two years, and you never said anything.”
“We never saw each other,” I reminded him.
“You could’ve called,” he huffed, trying very hard not to shout.
“You were somewhere on the other side of the world,” I fired back. “I was not about to have this conversation over a military video call, something the government could monitor and record. Christ, I didn’t even know if they would let me call you.”
“You should’ve made an effort. I- I have money, Nicole. I could’ve been helping you, helping her.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want your money, Jason. I’m doing just fine on my own.”
“That’s not the point!” He huffed, raising his voice.
With a weary sigh, Jason forced himself to cool down. He paced up and down the length of the island. His tense hand ran over the backs of the two counter stools and the one high chair. It lingered there for a long moment.
“You made your choices, Jason,” I reminded him. “You went off on a nine-month deployment that March, and I went back to finish grad school. I wasn’t about to give up my life for you. I couldn’t expect you to give up your military service.”
“You never gave me a choice!” He scoffed angrily.
“For what?” I demanded to know. “For you to drop everything and come to North Carolina? For you to inevitably resent me for making you give up your career? You were a forty-year-old bachelor and nearly forty-one. You didn’t exactly scream family man, and it’s not like you reached out after that night.”
“I didn’t know I needed to,” he replied, his expression still livid.
“It’s not about needing to reach out,” I countered. “It’s about giving a damn! When I got home for winter break that year, my father told me you had already volunteered for another mission.”
“I would’ve backed out if I had known!” He swore. “I could’ve applied for retirement then!”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. You were already in California, and Charlotte was two months old.”
“How?” He pressed, his tone grating on my nerves. “How could she be two months old that December, yet you never said a word?”
“You say that like I had a choice in the matter.”
“Didn’t you?”
“No!” I shot back.
“Why?” He demanded, not letting up. “Why didn’t you, Nicole?”
I realized my whole body was close to shaking with rage. Hot tears were threatening to leave my eyes as the memories came flooding back. He didn’t have a right to see my pain, but he wanted to understand. Jason was begging to know an ugly truth.
“You want to know why Charlotte was born so early?” I seethed, moving around the island to get in his face. “You want to know what I was going to say last night?”
“Yes!” He swore, still fuming.
“I was driving back to school after fall break when another car swerved to avoid a deer,” I began, my voice trembling with contempt. “Instead, they hit my old car and sent me into a tailspin. It was a miracle I wasn’t hurt, but the trauma forced me into labor. I thought I was about to have Charlotte on the side of a highway, alone, in a wrecked car. I was terrified I was going to lose her, and nobody was there to make it better. From the moment I knew she was coming, I’ve made Charlotte my top priority. My wellbeing came second for her sake, but you… you weren’t an option.”
His chest continued to rise and fall with frustration, and I realized it was a mistake to get so close to Jason. As silence fell between us, there was little space for it to linger. It would only have a few inches and the smallest movements to get back to the beginning of it all. His hands would be getting tangled up in my hair or studying the outline of my leggings-clad thighs. We could rediscover what it meant to get lost in a kiss, forgetting our fights and the world around us.
“I’m here now, Nicole,” Jason insisted in a darkened tone, his head leaning toward mine. “And I’m not going away.”
The truth was written all over his devastating face. It glowed in his smoldering gaze. My contempt for his domineering tendencies mingled with my secret longing to be touched again, creating a potent cocktail of emotions.
They weren’t going anywhere either.
As long as Jason was around, my heart wouldn’t stop aching for him, no matter how much I tried to deny it. I couldn’t run. I couldn’t hide. Jason was a hunter, and, finally, he caught his prey.
