Dirty Ginger by Stacey Kennedy
6
Beckett sat in the middle of the paddock and didn’t move for two hours. Autumn watched him closely the whole time, but she also hadn’t turned away and continued eating. Had she done so, the training session would have gone differently. But he held her focus, her curiosity building about him. For the last two years that Beckett had seriously been training horses alongside Nash, he’d come to learn that patience was the only way to a horse’s heart. Kindness mattered, of course. Trust also. But patience mattered the most, and through his journey with horses, his patience had grown stronger.
He stayed frozen when Autumn finally took a step toward him. When she stood a foot away, she lowered her head, getting a good look him. Another step. And one more after that. Until he let out a slow breath as she sniffed his hands resting on his knee. Sensing her stillness, he lifted his hand and ran it up her face. When she accepted that, he slowly rose. She took a step back. “Easy, sweetie.” He offered his hand again, and when she leaned a little forward, he stroked her face again. Then he turned and walked away, letting that be how she remembered the first day. Her coming to him, not the other way around. The vet appointment was necessary to move ahead with her training, but the path forward with this particular mare was starting over and changing her relationship with humans.
When he left through the gate and relatched it, Autumn still watched him steadily. It was good he had her curiosity. He hoped that made their next steps easy ones. By the time he got behind the wheel of his truck, she returned to eating her hay. A good start.
The dust trailed his truck as he drove down the driveway. As much as he wanted to go home and have a quick shower and grab some grub, the very thought of Amelia saying to him, “Come back after work, okay?” had him skipping all that entirely. But first, he needed to make a couple stops.
He reached the first stop fifteen minutes later, finding his father on the porch, where he sat most evenings. A sad picture, really. Once his father’s life had been filled with love and laughter, but those were things of the past now.
“Hey,” Beckett said the moment he got out of his truck, slamming the door behind him.
“Hi, son,” Jim replied, rocking in his chair.
Beckett took the seat next to him, staring out at the quiet road. “You look like you’re in pretty good shape,” he said, noting the rosy color of his cheeks.
Jim snorted. “You should have seen me a few hours ago.”
Beckett was glad he hadn’t. He kept his feet planted on the ground, not allowing the chair his mother used to sit in to rock. “Do you remember what happened?” he asked, glancing sidelong at his dad.
“Pieces of it…” Jim said before he trailed off. When he spoke again, emotion tightened his voice. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t,” Beckett said, slowly shaking his head. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
His father looked out toward the sunset. “Feels like I should.”
At one point in Beckett’s life, he would have wanted that apology and thought it meant something, but truth was, there was no fixing his father. He’d long ago accepted that. When Jim lost his wife, he died with her. There was no life in this house anymore. No life in his father anymore. Jim worked his construction job, then sat in front of his television. The only other thing he did was watch the sunset every night. Beckett knew why. His mother loved sunsets, and Jim did this to remember her.
“I can’t stay,” Beckett told his father, moving away from apologies and guilt, as his therapist once instructed him to do. He loved his father and saw him regularly, but Jim was existing, not living, yet Beckett wouldn’t give up on him, hoping one day his father would break free from his grief. “I’m heading over to see Amelia tonight,” he said, hoping that would brighten his father’s mood. He’d always liked Amelia.
His father glanced sidelong. “She all right after all that happened to her?”
Beckett had caught his father up on the wedding that didn’t happen, but he hadn’t told his dad about the charges, not wanting to worry him. He nodded. “Yeah, she’s all right.”
“Good,” Jim said, with a firm nod.
With nothing further to add, Beckett rose and cupped his father’s shoulder, glad to see his father was in one piece. “Call if you need anything.”
“You know I will.”
His father wouldn’t call. He never did, but Beckett understood why. Years of guilt and shame and loss and pain stole his father away. Beckett didn’t hate him for the way he’d changed, but he no longer let his father’s depression affect his life like it once had, because that pain had nearly drowned Beckett too.
Back on the road, he made one last quick stop at his house to make preparations for what he hoped was a good step in the right direction with Amelia, then he made his way to her.
Twenty minutes later, when he pulled up to her house, he found the barn’s double doors still open, but all he discovered was an empty brewery. He headed up to the house and knocked on the door. Only silence greeted him. A glance over his shoulder revealed Amelia’s car. Before he called her, he decided on a quick look in the backyard. There was one place Amelia loved more than her brewery. The mature Rocky Mountain Maple in her backyard. Which was exactly where he found her.
He couldn’t figure out why she was surrounded by glass jars of herbs, spices and flowers. But he was mostly distracted by the fact that she had changed in a yellow sundress. Christ, she looked pretty. “Planning to bake today?”
She glanced up and gave him a half-smile. “Trying to find inspiration.”
“In there?” he asked, gesturing to the jars.
“Everything here is what goes into the beer,” she explained, the evening sunlight hitting her hair just right to make the ginger color shimmer. “Ronnie asked me to come up with six samples for him.”
“Come up with anything yet?” Beckett said, dropping down onto the grass next to her.
“No,” she said, glaring at the glass jars. “Maybe I’m just stuck because I know I have so much work ahead of me, but everything I’m coming up with is just boring or has been done before.”
He wondered how he’d find Amelia this evening. If she’d be full of regret, but she only seemed focused on her work. He noted the tension creasing her eyes. “Anything I can help with?”
She set her clever eyes on him. “Got any ideas how to make my mind clear?”
He couldn’t help himself. He grinned devilishly. “I’ve got a few.”
Her mouth twitched. “Serious ideas for a new beer that will knock peoples socks off?”
He winked. “Anything with a high alcohol count usually does the trick.”
She laughed softly. The tension on her face melting away. “If it were only that easy.”
Christ, he loved when she smiled that like. He’d wondered if she knew she stopped smiling like that when she was with the prick.
“Ronnie’s got one distribution spot open to market the hell out of a brewery with quarterly beers, and three breweries are fighting for the spot.” She ran her hands over her face and sighed heavily. “There’s just so much to do. I should have cleaned out the beer tanks today, but my entire day got eaten up with visits and then I started thinking about these samples I need to do for Ronnie and got stuck on that.” She dropped her hands, sighing again. “It’s just a lot, you know?”
“You’ve got this, Am. Give yourself time. You only just got back today.”
“You’re right,” she finally said. “All I’m doing is beating myself up. Nothing is going to come from this tonight.” She began fastening the lids onto the jars.
Beckett helped her until he closed the last lid. “If you’ve got some time, can I take you somewhere?”
She looked up at him through her thick lashes. “I’ve got to get started on cleaning my tanks out.”
He gestured toward the sunset. “There’s no way you’ll get through it tonight. Today was a busy, long day. Start fresh tomorrow.”
She studied then sunset and then sighed again. “Okay, yeah, it won’t kill me to start tomorrow.”
“No, it won’t.” He smiled, offering his hand. She accepted his help up as she got to her feet, and he fought the urge to tug her close and keep her there.
Instead, he let her go and she wiped her hands on her dress. “Where do you want to go?”
He motioned to the front of the house. “Come with me and you’ll see.”
Intrigue sparkled in her eyes as she followed him. The same excitement danced on her face as he opened the passenger side door of his truck. Her expression only shifted when they drove into his backyard and the brightest smile filled her face.
“You’re kidding?” she asked.
His breath caught at that smile. The beauty in it. The sweetness. “Not kidding. You used to love this. I thought you might like to do it again.” He placed a hand low on the small of her back and guided her forward toward the blanket set out in the field, with the projector facing the barn. Backyard movie nights were their thing back in high school.
“I still love this,” she said with a tender smile. “I just haven’t done it in a really long time.” When they reached the blanket, she noted the dill pickle chips, Coke, and black licorice on the blanket before she grinned up at him. “You remembered my favorite treats?”
He nodded with a laugh. “It was all you ate back then, how could I possibly forget?” He motioned for her to sit. “Go. I’ll get the movie on.” The sun had nearly set now as he sensed her taking a seat and couldn’t fight his smile, anticipating her reaction. The second he hit play, he glanced back and saw her eyes widen and her smile beam when she saw he put on The Breakfast Club.
Her sparkling gaze met his. “You’re pulling out all the stops tonight. My favorite movie too?”
He wondered, when was the last time anyone did something just for her? By her surprise it seemed like a long time. “I know this movie word for word,” he told her, returning to her side. He’d never tell her that he watched this movie more than he’d ever admit aloud because it reminded him of her. As the movie began, he opened the chips and dumped them into the bowl before he opened the licorice bag.
Amelia sat looking at the movie, but every so often looked at the chips.
Beckett laughed. “I’ve seen you inhale chips and licorice in ten minutes flat. What are you waiting for? They’re not going to bite you.” He didn’t like the way she hesitated, telling him that bastard likely commented on how she ate food she loved quickly. He picked up the bowl and handed to her, but not before grabbing a huge handful and shoving it in his mouth. “I’m going to eat them all if you don’t,” he said with a full mouth.
She laughed softly and began eating.
Feeling like he could stay right here a lifetime and never want to leave, he leaned back on one arm and grabbed some licorice, devouring it as the movie continued. They laughed at the same parts as they had back in high school. She quoted lines, and he followed, and it began to feel like no time had passed between them at all.
Beckett reached for another licorice when something else hit his mouth instead. He caught up to Amelia’s kiss in an instant, but let her lead the way, following her open-mouthed kiss but never taking over to deepen it.
Many many minutes later when she pulled away, she asked, “Is it all right that I do that?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, Am, it’s all right.” He stared into her pretty eyes and gave her a smile, thinking of how he left her earlier and figuring it was a conversation they couldn’t ignore. “I take it, since I’m not dead, everything went well with your sisters after I left this morning.”
Amelia shrugged. “Maisie was Maisie about it all. And Clara was Clara, worried and overprotective.”
“I’m sure we shocked them.”
Her sensual laughter made his cock twitch. “Just a little.” Then her laughter fell, expression tightened. “I know I’m in this really weird place in my life right now. The last thing I should be doing is letting anything like this happen, but I don’t regret kissing you.”
Best thing he’d ever heard. “Good. Neither do I.”
She nibbled her lip, drawing his full attention to her pouty mouth. “I just don’t want to hurt you, and a lot has happened. I can’t really even explain why I grabbed you and kissed you, other than to say it felt right to do that.”
“I’m glad you did it this morning,” he said with a grin. “And just now too.”
Her eyes crinkled at the corners with her smile. “Clara’s really worried my head is not on straight, and to be honest, it probably isn’t. I just don’t want that to—”
He pressed a finger against her lip, stopping that conversation in its tracks. He wasn’t in a rush. He’d waited years to have her looking at him like she was looking at him now. As long as she was kissing him and not someone else, he could wait until she was ready for something serious. Instead of hitting her with all that truth she probably wasn’t ready for, he said, “Let me worry about me.”
She drew in a visibly trembling breath, a pinkish hue creeping over her cheeks that had nothing to do with shyness. “Okay.”
Seeing the resolve on her face, he gathered her in his arms then, pulling her underneath him, intending to show her just how okay he was with all this. How he’d give to her, not taking anything back, only to have her. “I want to kiss you.”
Her cheeks pinkened. “I want you to kiss me too.”
He couldn’t fight his grin before he slanted his mouth across hers again, dragging his hand up her thigh, bringing her dress higher up her thigh. He broke the kiss to gaze upon her, and her chest rose and fell rapidly. His rough breathing matched hers. “You’ve changed, do you know that?” he asked, feeling her tremble beneath his touch.
“How have I changed?” she rasped when he slid a hand across her thigh.
“You’re all woman now,” he told her, hearing the huskiness in his voice. She’d been eighteen when she’d offered her virginity to him. She’d been nineteen the last time his hands were on her. Her body was rounder now, hips slightly larger. He slid his hand between her and the blanket, cupping her ass. Then he dropped his head into her neck. She angled to the side, giving him access, and he slowly licked and nibbled his way up to her ear. “You feel so fucking good, Am.”
Her moan was her reply.
Intending to give her more, he caught her mouth, and she met his intensity at every turn. She followed his open-mouthed kiss, dancing her tongue alongside his, and he couldn’t get enough.
When he leaned away, her gaze did a thorough once-over of him from head-to-toe, causing his cock to jump when she stared at him with such hunger. “You’ve changed too.” She reached out and ran a hand over his chest, his biceps and forearms, stopping once we reached his shoulders. “You’re so strong.”
Strong enough to carry all your burdens. But he kept silent, embracing the tight hold she had on him. The way she touched him so intimately, so passionately, had him sealing his mouth across hers again. Her heady moans filled his ears, and for the first time in a very long time, he felt like he was finally getting something right.