The Revenge You Seek by Tracy Lorraine
Letty
Isit at my desk working on my assignment with my eyes burning and my body begging me to give up for the night and head to bed.
Spinning around, I stare out of the window and up at the dark night sky.
With all the light pollution from campus, it's impossible to see if there are any stars out tonight.
Pushing from the chair, I walk toward the window and rest my forearms on the sill, staring up and squinting in the hope of seeing a twinkle.
When I returned to Rosewood with my tail between my legs to confess to Mom that I was now a college dropout, I spent a lot of time out in the backyard or sitting on the beach watching the sun go down and getting lost as the darkness engulfed both me and my surroundings.
Staring up at those twinkling stars made me forget about everything that had led to the moment I broke down in Mom's arms and told her everything I'd been hiding in for so long.
It felt good to finally get it all out. I openly bled out my pain and to have someone cry with me.
The look on Mom's face as she held my face in her hands and sobbed with me is one I'll never forget.
I was terrified to go home and to tell her what a mess I'd made of my life. I knew she'd be disappointed in me. Her main focus since the day we were all born was ensuring we had everything we needed to make a success of our lives and there I was crumbling and losing control of the life I thought I was making for myself.
I should have had more faith in her because although, yes, she was disappointed that I'd turned my back on Columbia, she supported me wholeheartedly and chastised me for suffering alone for so long.
Maybe if I had come clean sooner, I might have been able to continue with my life with her support. But it's too late to wonder now.
All of that is done and here I am.
Starting over and trying to put all of that behind me.
But I can't, because he's here.
Taunting me.
Reminding me.
Threatening to drag me right back into the darkness.
With a sigh, I turn away from the window, shrug my hoodie from my shoulders, I throw it over my chair and crawl into bed.
I lie there staring at the ceiling knowing that really I should flick the light off and attempt to get some sleep but something stops me from doing it.
The rest of the dorm has been in silence for over an hour, everyone disappearing to their own rooms to do their thing, so when a sharp knock sounds out on my door it makes me squeal in fright.
My heart jumps into my throat and my hands begin to tremble.
My initial thought is that it's him. That he's found me already.
I didn't tell anyone not to let him know where I live but I'm sure there are a million and one ways to find out if he wanted to.
He's always been pretty resourceful. I mean, he got himself here after all.
Hesitantly, I pull the covers back and lower my feet to the cold floor.
Every single muscle in my body screams for me to stay where I am and hide.
But I know that if it is him, that he won't stop until he gets to me, even if that means kicking the door in.
I'd rather just accept my fate than wake the entire dorm and have them witness my shitshow of a life.
My breaths race out so fast that I'm almost hyperventilating by the time my hand wraps around the door handle.
If this is him then… then anything could be about to happen.
My entire body jolts when whoever it is knocks again.
It's okay. It's okay. Just open the door. It might not even be him.
I suck in a long breath before pressing the handle down, the loud click of the lock disengaging echoes through my silent room.
I pull the door open quickly. It's too late to turn back now.
"Holy fuck," I breathe, relief racing through me so fast that I sway a little on my feet. "It's just you."
A lopsided smile appears on Leon's face as he steps toward me, his eyes darkening with concern. They're so similar to his brother's but they're darker with a little hazel mottled within when you look close.
"Who were you expecting? Wait… don't answer that. Can I come in?" he asks and I jump back, realizing that I'm still standing with the door half open and totally blocking his way.
"Oh, yeah. Of course."
I pull the door wide and walk into the room, leaving him to close it behind him.
The second he turns his eyes on me, a tingle runs down my spine and I'm suddenly very aware of what I'm wearing—or not, as the case may be.
"Sorry, I was in bed," I mutter, embarrassed about showing too much of my body right now.
"Hey," he says, turning me toward him.
He steps into me a little and tucks his fingers under my chin so I have no choice but to look at him.
"You're beautiful, Letty."
I fight to look away but he doesn't let me.
"It's me, Let. You never have to hide from me."
Tears burn my eyes at the emotion in his voice.
"I know. It's just… it's hard."
He nods in understanding. That's the thing about Leon, he just always seems to know how I feel, the right thing to say or do to just make me feel better about whatever the situation is.
"Why don't you get back into bed? I just came by to check in on you. Luca mentioned what happened earlier."
"Of course he did," I mutter, although not expecting anything different from them. They're nothing if not protective.
"He's worried about you."
"He doesn't need to be. Everything's fine."
His brow lifts in argument but he doesn't say anything. Well, not about my blatant lie anyway.
"Go on," he says, placing his giant hands on my slender shoulders and pushing me toward my bed. "Get in before you get cold."
I crawl under the covers and look up at him.
"Keep me warm?" I offer, lifting the corner to show him the space beside me.
"Thought you'd never ask."
My chest swells at the smile that lights up his face and it just proves how much I needed this—someone—right now.
I watch his movements as he toes off his sneakers, drags his hoodie over his head, revealing his sculpted chest and abs.
My mouth waters as I trace the lines down to his waistband.
"Don't you go getting any ideas, Hunter." He winks at me, and I giggle like the schoolgirl I’m sure he remembers me as. “I’m here purely in a friendship capacity.”
“I know. And I really appreciate it. You… um…" My cheeks heat as he drops his jeans and dives toward me. "You look really good."
"Aw, you getting all shy on me, Cupcake?"
Curling into his side, I bury my face into his chest in an attempt to hide the fact my face is burning up.
He wraps his arm around my back, holding me tight against him and I pull my face away and snuggle in. He's surprisingly comfortable seeing as he's a solid body of muscle.
"Coach Butler works us really fucking hard," he admits. "My fucking brother is a bit of a slave driver too."
"Is it what you thought it would be?" I ask, staring across the room as the steady beat of his heart beneath my ear grounds me.
The fear that consumed me when the first knock on my door is long gone with him here now.
Anything could happen and I know without a doubt that Leon would protect me.
Luca was always the one who was utterly obsessed with the game. Sure, it was Leon's dream too, but he wasn't quite as dedicated to the cause as Luca was.
Luca has always lived and breathed the game whereas Leon sees other things. He's deeper, doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve and he keeps his walls up for almost everyone. I've only seen him let a couple of people in over the years and I'm so grateful that I'm one of them. Because the person he hides behind those walls is genuinely beautiful.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Wow, spell it all out for me why don't you," I joke, walking my fingers across his ribs and to his other side.
"I don't know. It's really hard work but the payoff is pretty sweet."
"The throng of adoring girls?"
He chuckles. "Sure can't complain about them but they weren't exactly what I was talking about."
He never was one to put it out like Luca. He was a little more choosy about his women. I can only assume that's the same now.
"Enough about me. What's put the sadness in your eyes, Cupcake?"
His old nickname warms me from the inside out but I don't think anything will ever be enough to make me willingly share. Not yet at least. The pain is still all too raw.
"I… I can't, Lee."
Wrapping his other arm around me, he holds me tighter.
"Sleep, Cupcake. You look exhausted."
I don't need telling twice because not two minutes after he says that does my body succumb to the rest it needs.
Being in the safety of his arms means I sleep the whole night.
* * *
Part of me expected him to slip out once I had drifted off but when an unusual ring starts up at God knows what time the next morning, I find I'm proved wrong because I'm still plastered against his hot body.
And by hot, I mean quite literally because I am freaking melting with him in this small bed.
"What time is it?" My voice comes out raspy and deep as I attempt to detach myself from him.
"Five a.m."
"Five a.m.," I echo. "Why the fuck do you have an alarm set for five freaking a.m.?"
"Training."
"Hardcore."
"You have no idea, Cupcake."
A smile curls at my lips as he drops a kiss to my forehead and climbs from the bed.
The temptation to get another close up look at his body is too much to deny and I crack my eyes open.
It's still dark, but the light coming from the partly open window curtains is enough to show me the sharp lines and hard planes of his body. And there is one hard part that most definitely stands out as I run my eyes down his front.
"I know you're staring, Letty."
"No… uh… I was—"
He laughs at me as he shoves his legs into his jeans and tugs them up.
Sitting up in bed, I pull the covers up to my chin and continue watching him. It would be rude now that he knows I am.
"You're the beautiful one, you know that, right?"
"On the outside maybe."
"Lee," I chastise. "You are one of the kindest, sweetest people I know."
"I only let you see what I want you to see, Cupcake."
"Bullshit, Leon. I see you."
I know he's hiding something, and I fear it might be something dark that he refuses to deal with but whatever that is doesn't change who he is. I wish he could accept that.
"I see you too, Let. And you need to talk. Whatever it is, is eating you alive."
"Pot calling the kettle black?"
"It's different," he insists, pulling his hoodie on.
"No, it's not. Let's make a deal." He stills and looks over at me, a flicker of fear on his face about what I might be about to say. "When you're ready to talk, come and find me and we can have it out. Lay all our truths on the table."
His lips part but no words come out for a few seconds.
"Wow, pulling out the big guns, huh?"
"Tit for tat, big boy."
"Hmm… I take the tit, Cupcake."
"You're an idiot." I laugh as he closes the space between us.
"Aw, don't pretend like it wasn't fun."
His words send me back a few years to something we swore we wouldn't talk about ever again.
"Are you breaking the rules, Mr. Dunn?"
"They were made to be broken, Cupcake." He drops his lips and plants a kiss on my lips.
My heart skips a beat at the move. I'm used to the pair of them being very affectionate with me, it's how it's always been but I can't help feeling there's more to that simple kiss.
But like almost everything else in my life, I shove the thought deep inside the box within that hides the hard to deal with stuff.
"Thanks for the sugar."
I chuckle, trying to cover up how I really feel as he walks toward the door.
"Do you have class this morning?"
"Um…" I wrack my brain for what day it is let alone what classes I might have. "Yeah, I think I have psych."
"Want me to walk you?"
"It's okay. I've got Ella," I say but instantly regret it because I'd quite like to see her reaction if one of the twins came to collect me just to walk me to class.
"I'll see you later. Call if you need me."
"Thank you. I really appreciate you coming to check on me."
"Always, Cupcake." He smiles at me before slipping out of the door.
Sliding out of bed, I rush over and flip the lock. I know I'm being paranoid but I can't help it.
Kane let me walk away with Luca yesterday and I know for a fact that it would have pissed him off beyond belief.
He might be trying to be patient, maybe even do the right thing in his own fucked up way. But that patience will wear out and I need to be ready for when it does.
* * *
I'm looking over my shoulder the whole way to our psych class as if Kane's about to jump out of a bush and attack me at any moment.
I know I'm being paranoid but one of Kane's specialties is pouncing when I'm least expecting it. Just like that night eighteen months ago.
I let out a sigh and force myself to focus on where we're going.
"Have you started the assignment yet?"
"Uh-huh," I agree although really, I barely heard her question.
"Letty." Ella places her hand on my arm, halting our progress toward the Anderson Building. "Is everything okay?" Her huge honey-colored eyes staring back at me in concern.
"Y-yeah, it's fine."
"Is it the guy Brax and West mentioned?"
"Fucking hell," I mutter, realizing that my drama has gone around our dorm like wildfire.
"They were worried and asked me if I knew anything. We're just looking out for you, Let. I promise. You're one of us now, we look after our own."
Relief floods me and emotion burns the back of my eyes. She has no idea how much what she just said means to me.
"Thank you," I whisper.
"It's nothing really." I hope. "Just old high school drama."
"They said—"
"I'm okay. It's okay," I assure her when she looks like she wants to dig more. "I'm putting it behind me and looking forward. Tell me about the Dunns party on Friday, is it gonna be huge?" We take off walking again as she squeals in excitement.
"Girl, it's gonna smash all your Columbia parties out of the fucking water. They are banging."
"You mean, you wanna be banging…"
"Well, duh. That place is going to be wall to wall hot athlete."
"Have they been warned?"
"I'm pretty sure someone put the word out because none of them seem interested in what I have to offer." She sulks as we approach the building.
“The ex you mentioned… not an athlete?"
"Oh yeah, he's on the team."
"So he's warned them all off you."
"He'd fucking better not, the cheating fuck," she spits.
"O-okay," I say with a wince, clearly having hit a soft spot. "Things ended well then."
"Oh yeah, we're the best of friends."
I can't help but laugh at her blatant lie.
We find our seats in class and chat away about Friday night and she delights in telling me some of the debaucheries that have gone down at previous Dunn parties. I can't wipe the smile off my face as she talks about what they get up to with their friends. I can picture them acting like clowns, drinking and letting go. They deserve it, hell knows they work hard enough.
Class passes quickly and after grabbing a coffee and lunch together, Ella heads to her afternoon class while I go in search of the library to get some work done.
There’s a big part of me that screams to go back to the dorms and eradicate the chances of bumping into Kane. But the rational side of me knows that the chances of seeing him on a campus this size with this many students is slim to none. So I pull up my big girl panties and force myself not to cower to a non-existent threat.
With my books in my arms, I walk around the library, checking out each floor to familiarize myself with where everything is. I finally find a group of almost empty tables on the third floor and make myself at home.
I tap away at my keyboard, totally lost in what I'm doing when a shiver runs down my spine.
I tried to push aside my concern when I sat here and ignored the fact that there are a lot of hiding places should someone want to torment me. I'm surrounded by rows and rows of books and dark corners.
Forcing myself to ignore it, I continue working, telling myself that I'm just being paranoid once again.
After another two minutes, the shiver becomes more violent and the feeling of being watched becomes impossible to ignore, I turn around and scan the area.
There are a few others sitting at tables working but none of them are looking in this direction and there's no one standing around.
Blowing out a shaky breath, I turn back to my screen to continue but the feeling never abates.
"Hey, fancy seeing you here," Micah says, marching up to my table with an armful of books. "You alone?"
"Sure am."
"You mind?"
"Of course not."
As he pulls out the seat opposite me, I take the opportunity to look around once again.
Still nothing.
"Oh, are you meeting someone?" he asks when he notices what I'm doing.
"No. I just thought I heard something," I lie. "So, what have you got there, it looks…" I run my eyes down the spines of the IT programming books he's piled between us.
"Boring?"
"Uh…" I hesitate, not wanting to diss anything he clearly loves.
"It's fine. I know it's boring as fuck to most people."
"As long as you enjoy it, that's all that matters." I smile at him and he quickly returns it. "Who gives you shit? Let me guess, the football players of the group."
He chuckles. "Yeah, but they mean well. They're just jealous because they'll be washed up ex-NFL players by thirty-five and I'll be just getting better and better."
I bark out a laugh as he rubs his hands together in delight.
"I think I landed in the right place with you all."
"Our bark is worse than our bite. Well, actually, I'm not so sure about Violet." He winks at me and I laugh, forgetting all about the uneasy feeling I couldn't shift.
We fall into a comfortable silence and get some work done before his cell starts dancing across the desk.
"It's the guys," he says, looking up from the screen.
I smile at him.
"Has no one added you to the group chat yet?"
"Umm… no."
"Assholes. You'll probably regret it because it's mostly Brax posting totally inappropriate memes every five minutes, but at least you'll know where to find us should you ever…"
I roll my eyes. West and Brax got to him as well then.
"We're just—"
"Looking out for me, I know. I appreciate it."
"Give me your number then."
I rattle it off and only a few seconds later, my cell starts blowing up in my pocket.
By the time I pull it out, there are twenty messages welcoming me to the chat. Mostly from Brax, and as promised more than one meme that makes me snort out a laugh.
"I'm not sure whether to thank you or…"
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
I silence my cell knowing that I'll never get any work done if they continue at this rate and shove it deep into my purse.