Saving Emmy by Rayne Lewis

Chapter 4

Eli steadied himself in the kitchen. Mitch’s declaration had his thoughts rattled and he had to center himself before going to Ember. On one hand, he wanted to stride right into the living room, take Ember up in his arms, plaster his mouth to hers, and carry her off to the bedroom. It was all very, Officer and a Gentleman-ly, but he would never want to impersonate a squid.

Eli shuddered.

Delta’s had their limits. Impersonating a seaman was a line in the sand.

But, on the other hand he wanted to tread lightly because she was in no state of mind to have him taking advantage of her vulnerability. He ran his hands over his face and short-cut beard, took a deep cleansing breath, then headed out of the kitchen into the living room but didn’t see her.

Her home was small so he knew she couldn’t have gone far. He’d been there a thousand times and he knew the layout. Heading down the short hallway, he looked into the bathroom as he passed. Seeing it vacant, he continued to the guest bedroom which was empty as well. He stopped at the end of the hallway. This room, however, he’d never been in. He stood outside her bedroom door and swallowed. Hard. Rapping lightly on the slightly ajar door, he pushed it open.

Ember was lying on her side, uncovered, in the middle of the queen-sized bed with her eyes closed. She didn’t open them as he entered, nor did she say anything. Eli walked to the side of the bed and gently sat down. Her hands were under her pillow but as he sat one hand came out, reached down, and grasped his.

There it was. The sign that said she knew she was safe, that she wasn't alone.

For being in the friend zone, they held hands a lot. It wasn’t a lovers’ gesture, but it was a gesture of love. Eli thought back and could remember the first time he held the hand of the girl with the fiery red hair.

Kindergarten had just started, and he was transferred from an overcrowded classroom into Ember’s classroom. He was shy and started to cry because he didn’t know any of the other kids. He was alone again. A few boys started teasing and picking on him because of his tears. He tried to pull them back, but the taunting and teasing was endless and just too much for a little boy to take. He’d just lost his father, and his mother for the first time started to work, and he barely had time to spend with her. She worked the early shift as a baker at the City Bakery, and then worked the afternoon shift as a custodian at the hospital.

The boys circled around him and chanted, “Cry baby! Cry baby!” while rubbing their fists in front of their eyes, mocking him as he wiped the tears pouring down his cheeks.

Then out of nowhere a fury of fiery red hair stepped in front of him, reared back and punched the main instigator square in the nose. The boy fell backward, grasping his face and began to howl and cry. The mass of hair turned around...and there she was. Emmy. His Red.

Reaching out, she grasped his hand, linking her tiny fingers in his and walked past the other boys still standing there trying to figure out what happened as their friend lay crying on the floor. Looking back, that was probably the first time his heart knew he loved her. Of course, being five, he didn’t know he loved her, but his heart sure knew. From that day forward, they held hands all the time. No one dared to make fun of them...seeing the end result of the last boy who teased. Ember and Eli were peas in a pod, clasped together by the hand.

* * *

With her eyes still closed, Ember said, “I thought you left, Elijah.”

Eli held her hand and slowly rubbed her thumb with his.

“How'd you know it was me and not a crazed burglar?” he said with a chuckle.

“If you were a burglar, you wouldn’t be sitting on my bed. And also, I can smell you.”

Eli scrunched his brow and took in a deep breath trying to catch a waft of something rank or off-putting. He smelled nothing. “I showered,” he said a bit defensively.

Ember gave a breathy giggle, “You don’t stink. I can smell you.”

Still confused, Eli replied, “Sorry, Red, not tracking.”

Ember huffed and came up on her elbow. “I. Can. Smeelll. You! You. Your smell. I can smell it.”

“Sooo, I smell.” Eli said it more as a statement than a question.

“Yes.”

“And what, per se, do I smell like? And, don't say ‘you.’”

Ember smiled and scooted farther back on her mattress, then patted the empty space beside her. She said nothing, but Eli knew what she wanted. Hesitating, he lay down in the spot she just vacated. He could feel her body heat still trapped in the comforter beneath him. It radiated into his back. As wrong as it felt, he liked it, which unsettled him. His heartrate ticked up a notch...or five. He steeled himself, not wanting to show any signs of his heart slamming into his ribcage.

He could do this. So, I’m lying in my friend's bed. Ember is my friend. That’s cool. Just my friend...it’s just Ember...not the girl I’ve been pining over for almost three decades. Play it cool, Ryan. Play it cool. Elijah Ryan and Ember Hayes...just friends...laying in a bed.

Oh, who was he kidding? I’m in Ember’s bed!

About to sit back up, Ember curled herself up into his side. He unconsciously lifted his arm and settled it behind her neck. She threw her leg overtop his and rested her cheek on his pec.

Eli tensed for just a second but caught himself. What should have been terrifying, felt...natural. His heart was still beating out of his chest, like a racehorse in the final stretch of the Kentucky derby, and he knew Ember could probably feel it through his t-shirt. But it felt right. Like an extension of holding hands.

Does she feel the same as me? Has she been pining for me as long as I have for her?

They had shared a kiss, once, back in high school. Maybe she wants me, too, but is afraid to put the question into the universe. Should I ask her?

His thoughts were running wild. His mouth opened to ask the question he was dying to ask, but Ember’s voice filled the moment.

“Mmmm, this feels good.” She settled herself into him. “I'm glad we are such good friends.”

Friends.There it was. The answer to his question. Back to thefriend zone. His heart deflated. Friends.

“So...you smell.” Ember picked up the conversation from before the death-defying bed cuddle.

“You don’t have to keep saying it,” he quipped.

“But, you do.” Eli could hear the smile in her voice.

“Liiiike?” He asked while drawing out the word.

“Like you. A man. Earthy. Clean. Powerful. Calm.” Her voice softened, “Safe.”

“I don’t think some of those are smells?” He furrowed his brow with his questioning voice.

“Yes, they are.”

“Um…” his furrow deepened.

“Most smells are linked to memories. They can be more powerful than sight or sound,” she paused, “when you’re near, I can smell my childhood.”

Eli took in a heavy breath.

“I can smell the principal's office after I nailed Tommy Fleck in the nose in kindergarten,” she chuckled. “I can smell the treehouse where you cut my hair after Becky Steltzer put chewing gum in it and I cried. I can smell the thunderstorm at the campground, the first time my parents let us pitch our own tents, and I was so scared and snuck into yours in the middle of the night.”

Eli smiled at the memory.

“I can smell the first car ride with you after I got my license. I can smell our first dance. Our graduation day. The first letter you sent to me during my basic training, where I was so homesick, I wanted to go AWOL.” She took a long breath. “I can smell the day you returned from Iraq and told me your contract was up and you’d be closer to home. The list is endless, Eli.”

Ember lay silent for a moment, “Every one of those smells, they’re my safety...because they were all with you.” She inhaled deeply, pulling this moment into memory. “I don’t need eyes to know when you’re near, Eli. A hundred people in a room and I could seek you out blindfolded. Believe me, Elijah, every smell is you.”

He lay frozen, not wanting to break the reverence of the moment. Every memory was a moment that he could see clearly in his mind. Listening to her list off the moments they’d shared, he could smell them as well. And, that smell was now Ember. Never again would he be near her and not smell every moment they shared.

A slight snore came from Ember. With that last inhale of this moment, she must’ve fallen asleep. He knew he had to get back to his team but nothing was going to tear him away from this place. This memory. The moment he knew he was going to make Ember Hayes his.

* * *

Slate texted the guys to let them know he’d be back in the office in the morning, but he wanted to be kept informed of any revelations that surfaced. He trusted them wholeheartedly and knew they’d alert him the minute they knew something. But, right now this was where he had to be. He knew he could call Ember’s sister, Rhys, to come stay with her, or her best friends Maven or Mary. Her parents would come back in a heartbeat if he called them, but he wanted to be the one there. He needed to be the one there. No way he was leaving her.

They lay snuggled together for a few hours. The adrenaline crash had come and taken its toll. Ember slept soundly and occasionally stirred, but stayed close to his side and clutched his tee in her fist every so often. He loved the feel of her body wrapped around his, their limbs entwined with one another. When she’d first snuggled into him, terror was his initial feeling, which melted into comfort, which immediately melded into home.

Yes, home. Ember was his home. And, he was her rock. The place she could always come back to. The place that kept him safe and grounded. She was his refuge. As he was hers. Both islands to unburden themselves. They’d shared a lifetime together. There weren't many times he could think back upon and not have Ember somehow woven, connected or intertwined in the memory.

Ember stirred in his arms, breaking his reflections, then bolted upright into a sitting position, gasping for breath and holding her chest. Her eyes landed on his, and he didn’t see fear in them; he saw terror. Pure unadulterated terror. She frantically searched for her bearings, trying to find her ground.

“You’re fine, Red. You're safe.” Eli sat up, speaking in a stern, commanding but comforting voice.

Searching her surroundings, it took her a second to assess the situation and come back to herself. Her breathing evened out and her eyes searched his.

“That’s it, Red. Come back to me. You're home. You're safe.” He put his hand in hers and caressed her delicate fingers with his own. “Come back to me, Red,” his voice low and soothing, beckoning her to come to safety. He tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear.

“It’s him.” That's all she said, her chest not heaving as it was a minute ago.

“Who?” Eli questioned in a softer tone.

“I don’t know.”

Ember was searching her mind. Eli could see the mental torture she was experiencing, and all he wanted to do was sooth her and make everything alright.

“Bazwar. I know him.”

“You know him? What do you mean, know him?” Eli was mentally logging every emotion crossing her face and every word she spoke, “As a customer?” he questioned.

“No,” she shook her head, still searching her memory, “I've never seen him at the range.” She corrected herself. “Well, not until today.”

Her mind was clearing. Eli could see the soldier inside her taking command. Decompartmentalizing the situation and examining every detail. Recalling facts and analyzing them. Ember the woman and Ember the soldier were one in the same, but when shit hit the fan, the warrior in her came out with a vengeance.

She stood from the bed and walked around to the back, pacing and concentrating deep in thought. She pinched her bottom lip with her thumb and forefinger, pulling it slightly, puckering it in frustration. “I’ve seen him. I've seen those eyes. The hate in them,” she paused, grabbing a hank of her hair and twisting it around her finger, “the fear in them.” She paused and took a few steps back in Eli’s direction, the space between them still wide.

“The gym? The store?” Eli stood and threw out suggestions, but Ember ignored them as she searched for the memory. Recall was ace with Ember. She didn’t have an eidetic memory like Cy, but it was pretty damn close. The girl could recall almost anything.

She stopped pacing. Her eyes focused on nothing while her mind was working, recreating, sensing the moment in her memory. She fiddled with her bottom lip, biting it and caressing it with the upper flesh.

Eli wanted to be that lip. What the fuck! Not now. What was he doing? Ember was in a moment of crisis and he was thinking with his dick. Calming himself, he looked away.

“I’m blank,” she said in frustration, lifting her head and taking in Eli. “I’m never blank. Why can't I place him?” She caught his eyes when he shortened the gap between them, fright and frustration was one in her expression. “I've seen those eyes. I’ve seen them!” The last words were more of a soft plea than a hard fact statement.

Eli leaned into her and wrapped her into his arms, enveloping her against his steel chest. Bringing her into his body again was glorious. They’d hugged often and held each other in an embrace, but this was different. Was the surfacing of his feelings changing the dynamics between them? Would this spin their relationship beyond the friend zone, or would it demolish the structure between them and ruin their friendship?

He tamped down his thoughts, focusing on Emmy. She was his priority. He had to put Eli the man pining for the girl in his arms away, and bring out Slate, the Delta Force soldier, who could objectively help her figure out who Bazwar was. He needed to compartmentalize the situation; put his feelings in a box, shut it into a deep, dark closet, and slam the door. Lock it and hide the key. He had to keep his shit tight. Stifle his feelings. If or when the setting presented itself, he would seize the opportunity. Until then, the box wouldn’t see the light of day.