Regal Queen by Ivy Mason

Eight

Almost dying changes you.

Things become more clear. You finally know what you really want in life. You know who you hate, who you loathe, and who you really love.

Lily had always been a dream to me, something that I'd tried to hold on to, even though she always felt like she was just within reach but that I could never really capture. Like trying to catch a cloud, or a mist of fog.

I didn’t know if it was because she could never pick between me and Bourbon, or if it was something else, but there was always this far away look on her face. Like she wanted to escape the world I was giving her and fly away into the a star filled sky.

Regardless, she could never be captured, not really, and even in death, I was still clinging to her memory, trying to capture her, trying to make her mine.

When all reality, she wasn't.

She never had been.

And pretending otherwise was foolishness.

When I was lying on that floor, dying, staring up into Bourbon's face, I immediately knew two things.

First, Bourbon loved me. He loved me with the fierceness of a thousand warriors, and had protected me all my life with the same ferocity. The fact that he’d been there, trying to save my life, instead of running after Rose, was telling in and of itself.

Hewas choosing me.

The second thing I also knew, is that when I first hit the ground, when I felt my heart stutter and seize, the pain so unbearable that it eventually knocked me out, was that my heart truly belonged to Lily.

Not Rose.

In those moments of almost death, her face hovered over me like an apparition so real that for a moment I thought it was Rose.

And that, by playing this game between Bourbon and I, by being an obnoxious asshole to her and Bourbon, it was cruel and unnecessary. Selfish.

I needed to let Rose go.

I still wanted her, god, did I want her. Every time she was near, my heart pounded so loud I was surprised that everyone in the room couldn’t hear it. I longed to touch her, hold her, kiss her. And every time Bourbon pushed her away, every time he hurt her, I wanted to smash my fist in his face.

But it wasn’t fair to take her when I still had these lingering feelings for Lily.

And even though I’d grown to love Rose for who she was and not because how similar she was to Lily, I didn’t believe that I would ever be able to love Rose in the way that she needed.

I would always see Lily in her and Rose deserved more than that.

And so, I lead her to believe that I didn’t want her in that way anymore. I encouraged her to go after Bourbon, then I comforted her when he rebuffed her, even though it killed me inside. Because I knew that, despite the way he was treating her now, he genuinely loved her.

This indifference was all an act.

He’d been obsessed with finding and rescuing her. The only time I’d ever seen him this worried about anyone besides me was with Lily.

Upon the moment of my almost-death, I knew that Rose didn't belong to me. I was done punishing her for looking like Lily, and determined to let go of the flittering ghost of my past.

And now, all I had to do was convince Bourbon of the same.

It was night, and my bed was empty. Rose was gone. She’d slipped away as I’d slept, and I woke, feeling empty inside.

I pushed the feeling aside, get used to it, I told myself.

Suddenly, Bourbon’s form filled my doorway, speak of the devil. Rose wasn’t by his side.

Running my hand through my hair, I glanced at the empty bed next to me. "Where's Rose? Is she with you?”

He stepped into the room, not answering but giving me a piercing stare. I used to squirm under that stare but not anymore. Glancing at the clock, I groaned. "For fuck's sake, it's three am. What's going on?"

"It's time to kiss the ring."

I sighed heavily, then pulled back my sheets and climbed wearily from the bed, grumbling. "They couldn't wait until the morning?"

Again, Bourbon didn’t answer me but watched me walk over to the closet, where they'd provided us with clothing: a row of impeccable suits in all sizes, and dresses for Rose.

"Is Rose getting ready?" I asked again about her, pretending I wasn't paying much attention to the answer as I searched for a suit in my size.

"She's bathing.”

“A shower?” I pulled out a coat and pants, pairing it with a shirt, placing it on the bed, then opened the drawers, looking for clean underwear. "Or a bath?"

"Bath," he grunted, and I clamped down on my smile. Showers were for getting ready. Baths were after sex soothing.

I guess the fucker didn't need me to help him along after all.

Something hit the back my head and I glanced at the floor. Bourbon had flung a pair of socks at me.

"Get that stupid smirk off your face. I didn't fuck her."

I turned, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned against the dressers, letting loose the full weight of my knowing smile. "You might not have fucked her, but you did something."

He just shrugged, sliping his hands back into his pockets but his eyes told me all the answer I needed.

Still grinning, I pulled out a pair of underwear, then leaned over to grab the socks and shoved them in my pocket. "Thanks for the socks." I began to walk towards the bathroom. "You should pick one out, you know."

An eyebrow crooked upward.

"A dress for her." I nodded my head towards the closet. His gaze followed the direction of my head and he turned to look at the row of dresses, then he glanced back at me, a questioning look on his face. I gave him a lazy smirk, then entered the bathroom, calling back to him over my shoulder before I shut the door behind me. "You'd better take good care of her, or I'm going to rip you to pieces."

There was no response, but I didn't need one.

I showered and dressed quickly but by the time I strode down the hallway, fully dressed, they were waiting for me at the kitchen island.

She was dressed in a sharp red dress that not only fit her like a glove but that was a striking contrast to the color of her skin. It also brought out her high cheekbones and the bright color of her jade eyes.

There was a space between them, except Bourbon was touching her hip, and her chest and cheeks were flushed, as if he'd just said something that made her blush.

He gave me a smug look. “Finally. Here comes the prima donna himself."

I stared Bourbon down, but since there was no heat to his words, I let the comment roll off my back.

"What's this?" I nodded at the glass of whiskey and three tumblers on the kitchen island.

"I figured we might need some liquid courage first,” Rose answered.

"Good idea," I took a glass, and she held hers upward.

“To the New York outfit.”

“To beauty.” Bourbon's gaze was trained on her and, again, her cheeks burned.

I didn’t add my own, suddenly feeling like an outsider, but drank mine in two large gulps. It burned down my throat, and Rose coughed. I watched, entertained, as Bourbon pulled her close, asking if she was okay.

The familiar tug of jealousy made my chest burn at the closeness between them, but the whiskey quickly loosened the the tightness there. I turned and gave myself another two fingers full. After drinking it down, everything relaxed inside me.

It was going to be a long night, and an even longer year, trying to let go of Rose, but I knew it was right in my heart.

Besides, Bourbon deserved my respect. And he deserved her.

I averted my gaze, not wanting to look at them, and made my way towards the front door. "Well, fuckers? Let's do this."

"She is not a fucker," Bourbon growled and I just shook my head, putting in the code that would call the elevator.

They walked towards me, stilling as we all waited. I ignored the way she leaned into him, pushing down the burning resentment and waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive. When the doors opened, there were two guards inside, waiting to take us up to Luca. They didn't have weapons in their hands but the guns on their hips were enough of a promise of violence if we didn’t behave.

It was only a short trip to the penthouse and, when the doors opened, it was if we'd stepped into a whole other world. Black marble and grey accents ruled the space, with occasional splashes of bright color.

The guards led us through the large apartment to an office, where Luca sat behind a large and imposing mahogany desk. On his lap was a woman, one I'd never met before but that I recognized. Her name was Penny, the woman whom Luca’d recently acquired as a 'not-so-willing' wife.

Except now, she was clearly comfortable with him, nestled in his lap like a sated kitten. She was beautiful, but I didn't keep my eyes on her long because Luca’s eyes bore a hole into me, the message on his face clear.

Keep looking at my wife and I'll rip your eyes out.

Rose was uncertain beside us, and both Bourbon and I leaned in closer to her, protective to the point that it was overbearing.

Luca eyed us both, then twisted his lips up in a cold smile. "So. This is the infamous creature who’s revealed the weakness in the Vegas outfit.”

Both Bourbon and I straightened, and the room was suddenly tense. Penny though, eyed us curiously, a smile trickling at the corners of her lips. "Welcome, Rose."

Rose didn't answer for a long moment, and the air remained pregnant with tension. Finally, she spoke, and the tension sizzled and burned out at her response.

"Thank you for invitation. And for your protection. I'm sorry for the men who died to keep us safe.”

There was no reaction from Luca, he couldn't show weakness even if he was hurting for his men, but Penny frowned, concern clearly in her gaze.

“Thank you. That means a lot to us."

“And they will suffer for what they've done." Luca finally spoke, and the fierceness in his answer spoke of the promise of retribution I knew he would inflict. "But we're not here to talk about that," he continued, extending his hand towards the chairs placed before his desk. "Sit down."

We sat with Rose between us, and Penny snuggled closer into Luca’s chest. I didn't doubt that this show of affection from her was a show of his trust in us.

Men like us couldn't reveal our greatest weakness, the women who managed to bring us to our knees, and by having her here in this room, by allowing us to the see the sentimentality between the two of them, was a great sign of his confidence that we would never exploit his weakness.

Though, the cold stare on his face as we settled in promised retribution if we dared hurt Penny.

"Now," Luca began, "first things first. You've maintained about ninety percent of the men commissioned, with almost all of them agreeing to continue to work with you, if you wish to keep them."

“Thank you,” Bourbon nodded. “I gratefully accept your offer.”

“Good. The others would prefer to keep working with you but their injuries are too grievous, and I’ve decided to keep them in our stronghold, for now, until they recover." His eyes fell to Bourbon. "Per Bourbon's request, Torian will be permanently transferred to work directly with your group. HIs suite is one floor down from yours, next to Knight and Dante’s suites."

"Thank you," I said.

He nodded. “I need to know, what’s your next move?”

“To take Dimitri down.”

Luca nodded. “I figured as much. You come from a weak position since Nero has turned his back on you.” He paused, letting that settle between us before he continued. “However, you may have intimate knowledge that you’re unaware of that can help take him out.”

Both Bourbon and I were nodding but his eyes had fallen to Rose. She stilled, her upper teeth coming down to bite on her lower lip nervously. "You think I know something that can take Dimitri down?"

"She was kept in a prison," Bourbon interjected, "tortured. It's not like she was allowed to walk about the estate poking about his things."

"Regardless,” Luca’s eyes fell to her finger, the one Dimitri’d cut off, “there may be something she knows that could help you.”

Rose straightened, clearing her throat. "It’s true. I may know something."

Both Bourbon and I stilled, turning to look at her at the same time but she didn’t look at us, keeping her eyes locked on Penny. "I was kept in the same room as Ivan.”

"Who is that?" Penny leaned forward, placing her elbows on Luca’s desk, a curious and cunning look on her face.

"He was Dimitri's scientist, and the man responsible for creating ozone. He was being held hostage, just like me.”

A shocked silence descended on the room and Bourbon's hand tightened into a fist. I then realized that we'd been too soft on Rose. If we'd have questioned her earlier, we would've discovered this by now.

"And?" Penny's eyes were deep and penetrating. I now understood why Luca brought Penny into the room. He knew that Rose would be more willing to talk to her, instead of opening up to him. What a cunning little bastard.

"He--" Rose paused, lowering her face to stare down at her hands, “he figured out the signal that the Kings were trying to send me and made a way for us to escape, but he... he didn't make it. He kept the window covered while they shot him, so I could escape." Her voice broke on the last sentence, and Bourbon reached forward, wrapping his large hand over hers. She looked down at it, and when she looked back up, she stared at him with wide eyes. "He gave me his boots and coat so I would survive the cold and I found something tucked into the inner coat pocket. A piece of paper."

"What was it?" Now, Luca didn't betray his curiosity.

She turned towards him. “I’m not sure. It’s written in Russian."

Luca’s face snapped upwards and behind us. "Get me a translator."

"Yes, sir." The guard outside his room appeared, pulling out his phone and disappearing again.

"Now," Luca’s fingers curled over Penny's arm, pulling her back into his chest. She settled back in, practically purring as his fingers caressed the skin on her arm. "Would you trust us to give us this information?"

At this, Rose hesitated. "I will, but I want something in return."

A burst of laughter escaped Luca. "I like you.”

"No one asked if you liked her," Bourbon growled and that only made Luca’s laughter grow louder. Ignoring Bourbon, he nodded, a humorous twinkle in his eyes as he looked at Rose. "And what is it that you would like, Rose?”

"I want enough men to take down Dimitri."

"You should've asked for something else, because Bourbon and I both have already negotiated a price for men.”

“Plus half the profits if that piece of paper contains information on how to make ozone."

At this, Luca’s eyebrows furrowed. “Thirty percent."

"I agree." Rose's agreement was a little too quickly, and Luca’s scowl grew deeper. He now knew that he could've offered less and she would've taken it.

Damn, I was proud of this woman.

“And I want one more thing," Rose's fingers clutched to the edge of her chair as she leaned forward, "Or this whole thing is null.”

"And what is that?" Luca snarled impatiently. Penny's fingers wrapped around his chin, pulling his face to look down at her.

"Baby, remember, she's lost everything. This is the only negotiating power she has."

At this, his face softened and he took in a deep breath. When he looked back towards us, he had calmed down.

“Fine. What’s your final," he emphasized the word, "request."

"I won’t reveal it here, but would like a promise from you that when I need it, you'll provide it. I'll also swear that it won't require much from you. Nothing you wouldn’t readily be able to give.”

Luca leaned back in his chair, holding Penny close and stroking her arm, his eyes studying Rose. She didn't falter under his scrutiny, but held his gaze, not wavering.

"I trust her," Penny said and, after a moment, Luca nodded.

"Fine. I will agree to your demands, and give you my personal number to reach me when you have this request. But know the number can only be used once, for our protection, so only use it when you're certain you won't ever need to ask a favor from me again. After that, access to the number will be destroyed.

Rose nodded. "Thank you. I'll give the paper to your men as soon as we return to our suite.”

"Good. Now, there's one last thing we need to discuss, and then I'll let you retire for the night.” Luca paused, his fingers once more stroking Penny’s skin. Instead of relaxing into him, she played with her large diamond wedding ring, twisting it around her finger absentmindedly, not looking at us. “It’s about your mother.”

His gaze fell on me at these last words and my stomach plunged.

This was going to be bad. I knew it, could feel the drudgery burrowing deep into my bones and the longer he hesitated, the more my nerves spiked.

“This may..." he shifted Penny, and his hand settled on top of the laptop on his desk, "complicate things." A shoulder came up, and I suddenly wanted to puch him in the face for feigning nonchalance, though I wasn't even certain why I wanted to do it. "Or it could make your decisions even easier."

Holding Penny tight, he leaned forward. When he opened the lid to his laptop, Penny's lips tugged downward, avoiding my gaze. I gripped the edge of my chair tightly as he turned the laptop towards us. On the screen was a video, frozen in time, and my heart lunched at what I saw there on the screen.

It was my mother.

The woman who'd betrayed us and yet, for some stupid reason, I still feel my anxiety wretch up at the sight of her.

She hadn't been the best mom, but she had done her best to look out for me over the years, despite her betrayal in the end. She'd also made certain we didn't return to that trailer home in Naked City, and had given me two more brothers.

Somewhere in my cold heart, I still loved her.

And now, she sat on a chair, her hands held loose at her side. She looked calm, but the frozen look of fear in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.

She may have left with the devil but she didn't want to be there now.

She was afraid.

Luca’s finger hovered over the spacebar and I met his eyes, trying to maintain my composure.

I nodded, and his hand came down, unleashing a world of pain on me.

"Coulter." Her voice was infused with a world of regret. Her eyes had been focused on the screen but they glanced somewhere off screen, hesitant. "You need to bring Rose back."

There was the harsh sound of a rough voice and my mom cleared her throat, focusing on the screen again. "He says he'll do whatever it takes to get to her back, including killing every single one of you. But, he'll also accept her dead body."

Bourbon cursed and Rose's shifted in her seat, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the screen. Something bad was coming next and I was frozen like a deer in headlights. My mom licked her lips and her eyes shifted towards off the screen again.

There were more low voices then, suddenly, she sat back, her eyes tracking movement until a man entered the screen, standing next to her. I couldn’t see his face, he was cut off at the chest, but I didn't need to see his face to know that it was Dimitri.

In his hand, was a gun.

“No.” I wanted to shut out what was coming next, to stop time, to slam my fist into the laptop over and over. But I couldn’t stop the inevitable, couldn’t stop my life from exploding all over.

My mom suddenly lurched forward, falling to her knees to grab the camera.

“Nero made me do this. I swear, Coulter, I would never betray you like this." Time suddenly slowed, but no matter how much I wanted it, Dimitri's hand raising the gun towards her head couldn't be stopped. Her next words were frantic, as if in a rush to get them out. "Take care of your—”

The gun went off, and I watched as my mother's head flew to the side, matter splattering before she disappeared before the sight. I cried out, yelling and jumping to my feet. I grabbed the computer, jerking it to me as Dimitri’s face came into view.

"You have two days to return her. If you do so willingly, you will have my favor and you will live. After that, I come for everyone.”

Then the screen went black and I threw the computer across the room, screaming out the raging anger inside me.