Hate You Still by Lyssa Lemire
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
KNOX
When Mr. Franklin, the principal at Marshall Middle School, asked if I could help chaperone this Friday’s fieldtrip, I jumped at the opportunity and accepted. Because I knew that Emma would be there.
If I knew, when he asked, that the trip was to the Alton Zoo, maybe I would have had second thoughts.
Mr. Franklin knows why I was assigned to help coach the football team at Marshall, though, so I can only assume he got my presence there approved. Still, I feel a shiver of trepidation as I hop off the bus – a different bus than the one Emma rode over on, which I internally grumbled over the whole trip – and stand in front of the entrance.
I can’t shake the feeling that someone’s going to come up, slap a pair of handcuffs on me, tell me I’m violating a restraining order the Zoo placed against me, and then find myself with my community service sentence extended.
The conspiracy theorist in me even wonders if the judge, happy to see the recent turnaround under my leadership, hasn’t worked with Mr. Franklin to entrap me.
It’s just an over-abundance of caution, though. I walk into the main Zoo space with the rest of the students and teachers without incident.
While I’m corralling some of the students who have ran off a little too far down the pathway in their excitement to see a Rhinoceros (all the kids seemed to zero in on the Rhinoceros as the animal they’re most excited to see today), I look over and catch my first glimpse of Emma.
Fuck. My heart stops. She’s beautiful.
Her hair is tied back in a ponytail, showing her slender neck in all its glory. Her makeup is subtle and understated, accentuating her natural beauty. A classy, grey pencil skirt hugs her smooth hips, and a nice blue blouse is tucked into it, its sleeves are short, revealing the smooth, alluring skin of her upper arms.
We finally get all the students gathered together and organized, and ready to set off on our itinerary. Aside from Emma and me, two other teachers are joining us. We four chaperons gather to hash out the logistics. We decided to split up into two groups.
“I’ll go with Ms. Willows’ group,” I jump to say. I glace aside and see Emma blushing. Fuck, something about calling her Ms. Willows is so damn sexy. I have to really struggle to avoid falling into fantasizing about all the naughty scenarios it brings to mind.
We set off in our groups. Emma and I walk close together, keeping an eye on the students, letting them walk around and explore but making sure they don’t get too far away and spread out. After a little while we fall into small talk. How my classes are going. Her struggles and successes with student teaching this semester.
She gives me an earful, as long as we’re out of the listening range of kids, of her cooperating teaching Ms. Kimler. She sounds like a character, to say the least.
“She’s not chaperoning today because, in her words, she’s a conscientious objector of zoos,” Emma informs me.
I crack up. “Is it animal slavery in her view?”
“You got it,” she says, laughing.
“I can tell you’ve been able to do a lot of good with your students, though. The kids in your class on the team love you.”
She blushes again. “Oh, come on, you’re making that up.”
“No way! Totally serious.”
“It seems like you’re making a big difference with the football team, too,” she says. “You know,” she continues, her voice with an edge, “I still don’t know what happened to get you assigned to coaching the team.”
I laugh, shaking my head. Man, it feels like a million years ago that I concocted that ridiculous idea to sneak a donkey into Emma’s apartment to get back at her for piling trash in my house.
And now, we’re talking in the very same zoo I got busted in together. Talk about a twist of fate.
“Maybe I’ll tell you the story sometime,” I say.
“Maybe over another carton of ice cream?”
A wide smile spreads across my lips, happy memories of the night she’s referring to flooding my head. “It’s a date,” I say.
We both blush and go silent for a little bit, letting the many possible meanings of that word date linger in the air between us.
We meet up with the other two teachers for a guided tour through the primate sanctuary. The kids are totally enchanted by all the monkeys, apes, and other primates on the walking tour. It’s led by two knowledgeable and entertaining guides, and we’re walking on a narrow, one-way pathway only occupied by one tour group at a time, so we don’t have to exert to much energy keeping track of the kids on this tour.
Emma and I fall back a little bit from the group, walking next to each other. The quiet easiness that existed between us a little while ago seems to be replaced by … a much less stable energy.
It feels like I’m on fire inside. I feel hyper-aware of every movement of hers as she walks next to me. It takes Herculean effort to keep my eyes off of her – and I still can’t help but glance to my side and drink her in through my eyes every couple seconds.
The group ahead of us stops at one of the major gorilla exhibits. The tour guides start a speech, and it’s clear that the group will be stopped in this spot for a couple minutes as the guides launch into a lecture about the behaviors and natural habitat of the gorillas.
Recalling that there was a bathroom a couple yards back on the trail, I tell Emma I’m going to go. She replies that she’s going to go, too. We leave the group in the care of the guides and the other two chaperone and walk back.
The bathrooms are two doors inside a dark enclave to the side of the main walking trail. We walk into the small area, dimly lighted, and once we’re out of sight of everyone else, the energy between us feels like it increases in intensity. There’s no way she isn’t feeling it, too.
We both go into our own respective bathrooms.
I don’t actually need to use the bathroom. I just need a moment alone to try and get control of myself.
Because right now I feel like I’m about to become a gorilla, myself. I’m not sure what kind of spell has fallen over me, and why it’s become so much more intense over the last several minutes, but right now there’s a desire burning inside me unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
There’s always a desire burning in me when I’m near Emma Willows. But it’s never been this acute. It’s never been this undeniable. Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I notice a film of sweat glistening on my forehead.
I wipe my face off with a paper towel and walk back out, steeling my will to control myself for the rest of the field trip. I know that I’m going to need to immediately hop into an ice-cold shower when I get back home.
When I exit the men’s room, though, it’s at the exact moment Emma is exiting the women’s room.
Our eyes meet and lock onto each other.
We’re alone in this small enclave. It’s dark. No one else can see us. The other two chaperones need to stay with the main group, and there’s little chance of any of the students pulling themselves away from the guided tour right now to wander back here.
It’s just enough of an opportunity for the last bit of my inhibition to crumble, giving way to the desire raging through me.
I rush forward and plant my hands firmly on her hips. She gasps: a sound that only piles more fire onto the burning flame of my need. “Emma …” I say.
“Knox …”
I shouldn’t do this. But when she closes her eyes and lightly parts her lips, I’m sure she wants this, too. I crash my lips onto hers.
She presses her body into mine. The smooth, soft volume of her breasts rests against my hard torso. My fingers sink into the softness of her hips. Our mouths crash wildly together. Her taste pervades my senses.
Her lips are just as hungry, as fierce as mine. Her tongue seeks mine and I stroke it with my own. Her hands travel up and down the expanse of my back. I can feel her hoist onto her tip toes to better press her lips against mine.
With a heavy breath, we pull our lips apart. We open our eyes and look at each other.
“Fuck, I needed that,” I say.
“So did I,” she replies. The look on her face passes from surprise, to relief, finally to worry. “We can’t do this here.”
I chuckle, tracing her jaw with the pad of my thumb. “How about you drive me home after the trip today?”
The meaning of my proposal isn’t lost on her. “Deal.”