The Sugar Queen by Tess Thompson
21
Brandi
A month after our wedding,I noticed that I’d missed a period. I didn’t think much of it, figuring with all the excitement my cycle was off. Another week went by before I decided to take a test. I sneaked into the drugstore one afternoon after I left work. Although I was a grown, married woman, unlike the last time I’d had to buy one in this drugstore, I blushed as I set it on the counter. The clerk, bless her, didn’t comment.
I drove home with the air-conditioning blasting my face. The weather wasn’t that hot, hovering in the low eighties, but I’d been a hot mess all day. My breasts hurt, too. It was either that my period was really late, which was messing with me, or I was pregnant. I couldn’t decide which I wanted.
Days after the wedding, I’d moved my things into Trapper’s house, leaving the apartment available for a temporary home for Crystal. She thought it best to live there, given her insane attraction to our favorite attorney. “I don’t trust myself to stay out of his bed,” she’d said to me.
I was disappointed she chose to leave. I’d hoped they would fall in love if they continued to spend nights together. Apart, I feared they’d never realize how good they were together. However, her decision didn’t keep me from adding them to my prayers at night. If it was in his plan, then somehow, they would find their way to each other.
He didn’t say, but I had a feeling Garth hated to see her go. The first few days after she left, he moped around like a sad puppy. Being a man, he wouldn’t say what troubled him, not even to Trapper. I knew. He missed Crystal.
Neither of the men were there when I arrived back at the house. Garth spent long days at his office and often ate out for dinner. “I don’t want to be in the way of the honeymooners,” he’d said.
As much as we liked him, it was nice to spend the evenings making dinner together and eating on the patio as the light dimmed. By the time Garth came home at night, we were already in bed doing what newlyweds do.
Holding the bag with the pregnancy test against my side, as if it were contraband cigars, I went to our master bathroom and shut the door. I peed on the stick, shook it dry, and tossed it onto the counter. The directions said to wait two minutes before looking to see if there was one line or two. I set the alarm on my phone.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were red, as if I’d just run a few miles. I needed to talk to Trapper about turning the thermostat down in the house. I placed my hands over my belly. It did seem swollen, but that could just be from my premenstrual syndrome.
What did I want? Could I handle a pregnancy without living every moment of it in fear? Was this the right time? Trapper and I were having so much fun together. We were still learning how to be a married couple. Did we need more time?
Seconds seemed like minutes as I waited. Finally, the alarm went off. I took in a deep breath and reached for the stick. Two pink lines. In fact, bright pink.
I sat on the edge of the soaking tub. Pregnant. Right at this minute, a baby was forming inside me. A person that Trapper and I had made because we loved each other so much. Time had tried to trick us into believing there was no chance for our reunion. But here we were. Together. Happy. And now a baby would come.
I dropped to my knees on the soft bath mat and started to pray. Right then I knew how much I wanted this baby. Even though I was frightened to lose her or him, the longing for a child outweighed that terror.
Please, God, protect this child.
That’s how Trapper found me. On my knees in front of the tub and talking out loud to God.
“Brandi?” He rushed to me and fell to his knees. “What is it?” He placed his hand on my upper back. “Are you sick?”
I lifted my damp face to look at him. “No, Trap. I’m pregnant.”
He rocked back on his heels. For a second, shock froze his features. In the next moment, his eyes lit up and filled with tears. He started to laugh and cry at the same time. “Pregnant? Oh my God, Brandi? Really?”
I nodded and pointed to the test by my feet. “I just took it. Two lines.”
He picked it up with his long fingers and squinted at the small screen. “Yes, those are two lines. No question. They’re so vivid, right? So there’s no way it’s not true?”
“These sticks are very accurate.”
“These are the two best lines I’ve ever seen.” He grinned as he set the test on the edge of the tub. “We’re going to have a baby.”
Still on our knees, we clasped hands. “You’ve given me everything I could ever want and now this, too,” he said. “Are you scared?”
“Terrified. But I can’t do that to him or her. I have to believe that everything’s going to be all right.” My voice broke. “I have to.”
“I’m scared, too,” he said. “But I agree. We have to remember what a miracle it is that we found our way back together.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
Trapper leaned close and kissed me. “I’m here this time. I won’t let you down. Put your burdens on me.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him lift us both to our feet.
He placed his hand over my stomach. “I have something I want you to see. Will you take a drive with me?”
“I’d go anywhere with you.”
Fifteen minutes later,we pulled into the cemetery. He took my hand and led me over to Ava’s gravestone. Only it wasn’t the one that had left her unnamed. Instead, a new one with her name and dates etched into the stone read:
Ava Elizabeth Vargas Barnes
January 10, 2010 – January 10, 2010
Precious daughter. Guardian angel.
I burst into tears. “Oh, Trap. It’s perfect.” Trapper wrapped his arms around me and held me close.
“I thought it was about time she had my name,” Trapper said. “I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry I was gone so long.”
I rested my cheek against his chest. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”
The September light faded and turned the sky a brilliant pink. We clung to each other, neither of us inclined to leave just yet. I thought about all the men and women who had come before us. Every generation had loved and lost and persevered, just as Trapper and I had.
Standing there as the sky grew crimson, the space between this life and the hereafter didn’t seem so far away. Those whose blood ran through our veins were here in the breeze that smelled of wildflowers and the rustle of the wild grasses that grew just beyond the fence.
Fight for love, they seemed to whisper.
And then, clear and sweet, came the sound of a sparrow. This song was just for me. I knew every word, every note. Be brave, dear Mama. Be brave.
I will, baby girl. I will.
I looked up into the eyes of the man I’d loved all my life. “Let’s go home, Trap.”
He took my hand, and we walked across the grass, listening to the music of the sparrow. My two great loves no longer haunted me. They were here with me, as they’d always been. A peace settled over me as I stopped and took one last glance back, searching for the bird. I could not see her, yet I knew she was there.
I moved my gaze to Trapper.
“You ready?” He smiled down at me. “For the next chapter in our love story?”
The next chapter. We had no road map or guidebook. Courage was our only map. This was the way of love.
I simply nodded and gave him my hand.
Be brave, Mama. Be brave.
The Patron releases May 18,2021. Grab it to see what happens between Garth and Crystal!
For more Emerson Pass, download the historical books in the series. Travel back in time to meet the original residents of Emerson Pass, starring the Barnes family.
The School Mistress
The Spinster
The Scholar
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