Kraving Khiva by Zoey Draven

Chapter Twenty-Six

When Eve woke the next morning, it took her a moment to remember. To remember it all.

But when she did, when she felt Khiva move beside her in bed, in her townhome, under her own sheets, when she felt the warmth and heaviness of his arm wrapped around her bare waist, Eve let out a sleepy smile and turned so she could look at him.

Her breath hitched, the friction of her soft sheets against her still sensitive skin was…tantalizing. Her whole body ached, a pleasant ache, that reminded her of the hours Khiva had kept her in a state of orgasm. Muscles she didn’t even know she had were sore. Not to mention the fact that her clit felt so sensitive that if she even grazed it, it would probably send her spiraling again.

It wasn’t a bad way to wake up.

And despite being up with him into the early hours of morning, she felt amazingly well-rested and energized.

“Kasunu,” he rasped, his eyelids low, telling her that he’d been asleep.

Her smile widened and she snuggled up to him closer, pressing her cheek against the solid bulk of his chest. “Good morning.”

Her gaze strayed towards the foot of the bed and she couldn’t help but notice that his feet hung off the edge. Then she noticed a sizable tenting of the sheets and, as if she was trained, without realizing it, she reached underneath the sheet to grasp his erection.

Khiva let out a husky growl, followed by a groan and an amused trill. “Leeldra, you’ve drained me.”

“Literally?” she teased. He’d orgasmed six times last night. Gently, she squeezed the base of his shaft, like a woman addicted. “Then what’s this?”

She was obsessed with his cock. Last night and the early, early hours of morning had taught her that.

Another growl and he rolled them until he was hovering over her, the sheet falling away from his magnificent body.

He kissed her and her head spun.

“Give me an hour to recover,” he murmured against her lips, before gently nibbling on her bottom lip. “Then I can give you all you want.”

“Promise?” she whispered, her hands caressing over his shoulders and down his back. Softly, she stroked up and down, memorizing the texture and feel of his skin.

He groaned and then rasped, “You came to me a virgin not long ago. And now, you have drained a Keriv’i male of his teela and still need more. Vauk, if only you knew half of the wicked things I will do to you.”

Eve’s lips curled up, her nipples tightening.

A sexual awakening, she thought. She’d been a virgin so long, only fantasizing about what having a lover would be like. She’d always been insanely curious about sex. She was no stranger to masturbation either, had enjoyed it regularly.

But with Khiva…after her first time with him and especially after last night, she felt changed. No longer was she shy about her sexuality, about the things she wanted to explore with him. Khiva had been both patient and demanding, both gentle and rough, both considerate and selfish, and she’d loved every single moment of it.

After another kiss, he rolled off but tugged her close so that their bodies pressed together.

“Are you sore?” he asked softly, looking down at her, tracing down her arm.

“Pleasantly,” she answered softly.

“I apologize if I was too rough,” he murmured. “My Rut is coming soon and it makes me…needful.”

“Your Rut?” she asked, brows furrowing. “I remember you mentioned it in passing once. But you never explained what it is.”

He arm tightened around her. “All Keriv’i males, once they come of age, experience a Rut. Every month, or sometimes every two, it depends on the male.”

“And what happens?”

“We go into a state where all we need is to mate,” he said slowly. “Nothing else matters. It is like we lose our minds.”

Eve licked her lips. A mindless, sexed up Keriv’i male, whose only need was to mate? That would be a sight. And an experience.

“It lasts two or three days,” he said. Then, he admitted, “I have this theory that you bring mine on more quickly.”

“Me?” she asked, surprised. “Why?”

“Because of how much I want you, how much I need you,” he purred in her ear and warmth spread over her skin. “Whenever I am with you, I feel my Rut drawing a little closer. After last night, I would not be surprised if it hit me tomorrow.”

Despite the pleasant fluttering in her belly at his words, she couldn’t help but think that he’d be seeing his Rut through with another woman.

Jealousy pierced her chest, dampening the entire mood of the morning. She always did this to herself, she realized. She always had these incredible highs with him, where she felt like nothing could bring them down, but then she deliberately remembered what he was forced to do by Madame Allegria, to remain on Everton.

He’d woken up with her that morning…but he would be going to bed with another woman that night.

And it cut her.

The deepest it ever had.

It was then that Eve realized she was being selfish. Because it was Khiva that had to deal with most of the emotional and physically tolls as a Krave at Madame Allegria’s. Eve knew that he cared for her, deeply. She was foolish to believe that it didn’t upset him either.

Eve laid her hand over his chest. He’d told her a couple weeks ago that unlike humans, Keriv’i had two hearts. Two heartbeats. She felt one of them right then and the slight vibration comforted her.

Khiva said, “Evelyn.”

She knew she’d gone quiet on him, but she didn’t want to cover up her emotions either. With him, she felt she could be honest.

So she asked, “When your Rut comes on, do you still see your clients?”

Khiva huffed, “Veki. You underestimate how powerful a Rut can be. It would be dangerous to see clients.”

Eve couldn’t help but feel a flicker of relief, but even still she asked, “What do you do then?”

“Endure it,” he said. “Usually chained to our beds.”

“What?”

Khiva’s trill was amused at the incredulousness in her tone. “On Kerivu, if a male had a mate or a lover, he would see the Rut through with her. It was normal that a male disappeared with his mate for a few days. But males who did not learned to endure. All of the Keriv’i at Madame Allegria’s endures it.”

“But chained?” she asked. “That’s…cruel.”

“Not so cruel,” he corrected, “when the Rut is at the peak. It is a precaution.”

“But surely you wouldn’t go around and force sex from whatever woman you come across, Khiva,” she argued, the idea simply unfathomable.

“Never,” he growled. “Never force. But Keriv’i males, during a Rut, can be very…persuasive and single-minded. On Kerivu, that is even how some males found their mates and lovers, by proposing a Rutting partnership first, which later evolved into more.”

“Oh,” she whispered.

“The chains are necessary, for during a Rut, a male can be rough without realizing it. We are naturally stronger during that time and sometimes we cannot control it when we are that crazed,” he said. “Dravka especially needs chains because of Valerie.”

“Dravka?” she asked. “He’s one of the other Keriv’i you spoke of once?”

There were three others, besides Khiva, at Madame Allegria’s. Dravka and two brothers.

“Pax.”

“Why would he need chains around Valerie?”

“Because he loves her,” Khiva simply said and Eve’s breath hitched, hearing that word—love—falling from his lips.

“They…they’re together?”

Khiva shook his head. “Veki. They have never been together in that way.”

“But she feels the same?” Eve asked softly.

“I believe so, pax. He is why she has stayed.”

Shame burned in Eve’s chest when she remembered the words she’d spewed at Valerie, angry at the time, thinking that she was involved with Madame Allegria’s illegal activities. And in a way, she was involved, but just like she’d said, it wasn’t in the way she’d thought.

“I feel awful,” Eve admitted.

“Why?” Khiva asked, nudging her chin up so he could look at her.

“When Valerie came here, to arrange the meeting with you, I said things. I accused her of taking part in what Madame Allegria has been doing. And while we eventually came to understand each other, I still said those things. Not knowing.”

Khiva’s gaze softened slightly. “Leeldra, you could not have known. Madame Allegria forces her to lie to clients about many things. But she helps us in her own way. Many times, she’s helped us.”

“Still,” she murmured. “I owe her another apology. And there was still so much I wanted to say, so I feel I should apologize for what went unsaid.”

Khiva trilled again. “My little protector,” he murmured, his voice warm.

Eve flushed, giving him a small smile, and reached up to touch his cheek. “I just want to help you, Khiva.”

His expression sobered, but he didn’t say anything in response.

She sighed. Eve couldn’t help but feel slightly frustrated by it. She figured she might as well try to broach the subject again. “Khiva, I’ve told you about my inheritance. You know how little use I have for it. I could pay for a passage visa off Everton for you, for the others. I could help you find your mother and brother. Not to mention that we could go to the United Worlds about Madame Allegria. I’ve been looking for my father’s contact there and I think I found—”

“Veki, I’ve told you before,” he simply said, his tone neither anger or soft. It was simply stern and it didn’t allow for arguments.

Eve didn’t care. Pushing up on her elbow so she could see him better, she asked, “But why? It would be such a simple solution to…to everything. Can’t you see that?”

“You do not understand,” he said, never looking away from her.

“So explain it to me,” she pleaded. “Because you’re right, I don’t.”

He exhaled a sharp, quick breath through his nostrils. And for a moment, she thought he wouldn’t, that it would simply be the end of the failed conversation.

But then he said, “My line, my family, was one of the wealthiest families on Kerivu. I was raised never knowing the harsh realities that I could have had in another life, had I been born to another mother. I was called the Prince of Firestones once I took over my line’s legacy. From that moment, I was treated like one. I never wanted for anything. And even then, I knew that I wanted to give my line, my young, my mate, the same. It is a source of pride for Keriv’i males, to be the provider, just as my father was to us.”

“Khiva…” she whispered, shaking her head.

He pressed two of his fingers to her lips. “To be the Prince of Firestones and then fall to the position of whore…” Eve’s throat burned, hearing that word from his lips. “It was not an easy transition, as you can imagine, but it was a necessary one. When you become a whore, you learn very quickly that pride is perhaps the last thing you have to hold onto. That is why I cannot accept.”

Eve felt like she was on the verge of tears, but she held them back, swallowing hard. Though she felt his words jab at her chest, she also felt a small ball of anger.

“Last night,” she said softly, “when you said you wanted to have children with me, a family…what was that then? You make me hope for these things when you do not want to help your situation.”

“You should not listen to males when they are on the verge of orgasm, Evelyn,” he murmured, rubbing his fingers over his closed eyes. She sucked in a breath, his flippant words cut her more than the knowledge of his clients ever had.

Eve shook her head, confusion making her thoughts fuzzy. Had she really seen more than what was there, just as Genni had warned her about all those weeks ago?

She didn’t doubt her feelings for him. She’d been falling in love with him from the very beginning. Head over heels, as the Old Earth expression went.

No, however, she began to doubt how deeply his ran for her.

“How did you see this playing out?” she asked softly, not quite able to meet his eyes. “Eventually, I mean.”

“You mean us?” he asked.

Eve nodded, sitting up in bed, tucking the sheet around her naked body. She felt like her whole reality had shifted somehow and she suddenly felt very, very vulnerable. “Yes. Our future.”

“I thought eventually you would stop coming to see me. It would have been gradual, but obvious,” he said softly. “I thought that you would meet a male, who could give you the things you wanted, what you needed. That I would just fall into your memory as the Krave you used to visit, whose company I like to think you enjoyed. From the very first moment I saw you, I knew you would not be a regular client of mine.”

“Why are you saying these things, Khiva?” she asked, shaking her head, staring across her room at the fireplace. “Why are you…compartmentalizing our time, making it seem less than what it was?”

“Because I have to,” was the only thing he said in response, in a voice so soft she almost didn’t hear him properly.

“What does that mean?” she cried out, frustrated, sad, angry. Nothing made sense anymore.

He didn’t answer her.

Eve bit her lip and a tear ran down her cheek before she dashed it away quickly. “I have to go to the washroom,” she murmured and quickly exited the bed.

As she grabbed the robe slung over her chaise, she realized how sore she was, evidence of their amazing night together. Only the morning after was going so terribly. And she didn’t even know why it had taken a turn.

In the washroom, she stood beside the shower tube, taking deep breaths. In privacy, she allowed herself to cry, though she muffled any noise, as stark realization hit her in the gut.

He’d never seen a future with her.

It was possibly also why he didn’t want to accept her help. Because it meant they would be connected to one another through credits. Perhaps he didn’t want that.

She only allowed herself a couple minutes before she leaned over the sink and splashed her face with water. When her eyes were still watery and red, she stepped into the shower tube and quickly washed, rinsing away their night, giving herself more time to calm down.

When she emerged from the washroom not ten minutes later, wearing her robe, Khiva was standing at the window, looking out to the street below. He was dressed.

He turned to her when she entered and he studied her for a moment before saying quietly, “I should leave. It’s still early, so I doubt I will be seen.”

Though her treacherous heart didn’t want him to go, despite knowing now that she’d read too much into their relationship, or whatever it was, Eve nodded and knew it was for the best.

“I’ll order a car for you,” she said, numb, going to the tablet imbedded in her bedroom wall. After she did, she led him downstairs to the foyer and got his overcoat. Her chest felt heavy as she handed it to him, as she watched him put it on, concealing his skin, his body, his quiet strength.

It felt weird, like a different reality, to be so close to him and not touch him. To not smile at him or kiss him goodbye.

No, everything was all wrong. His words didn’t make sense. It was like he was deliberately trying to hurt her, to push her away.

“I know I have no right to ask,” he said softly, as they stood there in the foyer, “but will I see you on Thursday evening?”

Her booking. It felt like a slap in the face that he would remind her of it.

“You might be chained to a bed by then,” she couldn’t help but say, to buy time, remembering what he’d said about his Rut. God, had that conversation happened less than a half hour ago? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“Perhaps,” he said carefully. “But if I am not, will you come?”

“I…” she trailed off, not even sure how to respond. She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache start to bloom. “I have a lot to think about, Khiva.”

His shoulders seemed to stiffen at her words, though he nodded.

And because she felt like she should be honest with him, because this might be the last time she saw him, though everything in her rebelled at that thought, she decided to be brave for once and confessed, “My feelings for you run deeply, Khiva. And until this morning, I thought that yours did too.”

She felt a little hope, wanting him to respond, wanting him to tell her that yes, he felt it too. What had he called it? The nuvur’u drava? The linking. That was what he’d told her he felt with her.

So where did it go wrong?

Khiva remained silent, however, deflating her just a bit more, cementing some of the doubt that had begun to spread through her.

“I’m wondering what I should do,” she admitted. “Because if I continue visiting you, knowing that you don’t see a future for us, knowing that you believe I’ll just leave one day, then I feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. I don’t want to do that to myself. I can’t leap blindly towards something if I don’t even have a direction to go.”

His jaw clenched and pulsed, but his eyes remained steady on her. “Leeldra.” That word tore at her. He’d told her he’d never used it with another female. Just another thing that confused her. Was it a lie? “I wish…”

Words seemed to fail him however, but he stepped forward, placing his hands on her shoulders, as if his touch could answer the swirling questions inside her. But she found no answers.

“Khiva, please know that if you change your mind, if you want my help for passage off the colony, I will give it you,” she said. “No strings attached. You’d never even have to see me again.”

“Why?” he asked quietly. “Why do you still want to help me?”

“Because I like to think that we’ve become friends, Khiva,” she replied. “And friends help friends.”

“You believe we are only friends, Evelyn?” he asked next.

Though she’d woken up fresh and energized, she suddenly felt very drained and tired.

“If we can be nothing else, then yes,” she said, wanting to crawl back to bed…if only his scent wasn’t all over her sheets. A constant reminder.

Again his jaw tightened. Behind him, through one of the windows, she saw the driverless car pull up to the curb.

“Your transportation is here,” she murmured, moving to the door to open it. But Khiva placed his hand on it, keeping it closed, and he leaned his forehead against her shoulder, making Eve hold her breath.

“Please, leeldra,” he whispered.

“Please what?” she asked just as softly.

Again, he didn’t answer her. Or couldn’t. Instead he spun her around, placing her back against the door, and kissed her hard. She immediately responded, but after a moment, she realized what was happening.

With her heartbeat beating in her breast, she turned her head to the side, though it was one of the hardest things she’d ever done.

Khiva stilled but kissed her cheek softly where his lips landed.

“Kasari, Evelyn,” he said before stepping back.

Eve’s hand was frozen on the door handle, but eventually she opened it, letting the early morning chill sweep in. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she watched as he pulled up his hood to cover his face, his eyes never leaving her.

“Goodbye,” she whispered, feeling that word tear through her chest.

He hesitated on the threshold for a moment longer.

And when he finally stepped through, with one last touch to her cheek, she felt…undone. She watched him get into the car. A short while after, it pulled away from the curb, away from her.

It only took Eve 25 years to experience her first love, her first lover.

And her first heartbreak.