Psync by Zile Elliven

Chapter Thirty-Two

Eli

Haruka was being extra clingy—even for him. Ever since their fan clubs had combined to create an überclub, he’d become more affectionate in public. It was a little embarrassing sometimes, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it was a little too comfortable.

Eli had spent too long secretly thinking he might be broken in some way other people weren’t. That he might never find someone he loved and was attracted to.

Love?

Did he love Haruka?

He wasn’t even sure what love was. How could he know if what they had together was love? It was intense, whatever it was. When they were apart, he couldn’t go more than a few minutes before feeling a tug inside him that insisted they reunite as soon as possible.

And he thought about the man constantly. Anytime Eli saw something he thought Haruka might like, he found himself texting him. Any object that might make him smile was something Eli did everything in his power to obtain. Haruka smiles were a gift to the world.

Now that he had the freedom to leave Haruka’s side, he found little desire to do so. And maybe he didn’t initiate affection in public the way Haruka did, but when the man had barnacled onto Eli in front of Jace, Eli’s insides sang as loudly as they ever did, whether they were behind closed doors or not.

Everything Haruka did told Eli he was wanted, needed, and an important part of his life. So, if he was a bit possessive and territorial, Eli could live with it.

Eli was still a little touchy when Haruka and Kate were in the same room together even though he’d never given Eli any indication he remembered who she was. Haruka visiting the club tent at the end of the fair had made Eli feel territorial too.

All that being said, if Haruka stepped on the back of his shoes one more time today, they were going to throw hands.

“I’m not going to vanish if you aren’t up my ass, you know,” Eli said after the second time he’d had to stop and fix his shoe.

“Hn.” Haruka handed Eli back his coffee and moved to walk beside him rather them loom over him from behind.

When they reached Jace, Eli said, “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No worries, I’m well aware of the love affair you have with coffee.”

Haruka reattached himself to Eli’s back, creating a lovely wind barrier. He was also super warm, way better than the hand warmers Eli usually carried around in November.

“So, what are your plans today? I’m finished with classes. If you want to hang out, I’m free.”

Haruka’s fingers dug into Eli’s sweater, but he didn’t say anything. He was keeping his promise. If it wasn’t Nate or Alice, Haruka had a tendency of being stingy when it came to sharing Eli’s time with other people.

“That’s perfect, I brought a show I know you’re going to love. We can watch it in our room. You know, one more time, in case we don’t get to again.”

“Sure! Though if you’re going to be back in the spring, we’ll definitely get a chance to geek out again.”

“True, but we might not be roommates. Let’s have one last night together, just you and me.”

“No.” Haruka’s arms went from gentle to steel bands around Eli’s chest.

Eli tapped his hands and wheezed. “Breathing isn’t optional for me.”

“I’m not taking him to a strip club, we’re just watching Battlestar Galactica.”

“The original?” Eli asked.

“Obviously.”

“Yes!” Eli had mentioned during their first week of living together that he’d only seen the reboot but wanted to watch the first one. “Haruka, you’ve got an exam tomorrow, you can’t come and binge a show tonight.”

“But—”

“It’s just Jace. He’s not going to eat me.”

“He might,” Haruka muttered.

“Don’t be that guy, man. Healthy relationships are based on trust. You trust Eli, don’t you.”

“Of course.”

“Then trust his ability to choose the right people to hang out with.”

“Yeah . . .” Eli said weakly. Jace didn’t know about Ash, otherwise he would have known not to use that particular argument.

“Fine.”

It had worked? Nice.

Haruka unwrapped himself from Eli but didn’t look happy about it.

Eli jumped on the chance before Haruka changed his mind and decided to forget his promise. “Great, let’s go,” he said to Jace, already walking down the path toward their dorm. “I’ll text you later.” He promised over his shoulder.

Jace filled Eli in on what he’d been up to on the farm until they got to their room.

Once they were inside, his face grew serious. “I’m sorry about being so pushy, but I wanted to talk to you away from him to make sure you’re okay.”

“Me? I’m great, why do you ask?” If Eli got any happier, he was fairly certain rainbows would start shooting out of his ass.

“You couldn’t stand the guy before I left. You do remember that, right?” Jace moved the boxes off of his bed so he could sit down. “I just want to make sure you don’t have Stockholm Syndrome, or something.”

“No, it’s nothing like that. Actually, there’s something I should tell you.”

Ash was Jace’s friend, after all. He had the right to know.

He told Jace everything—minus the mental bond he shared with Haruka.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I’m going to kill him.” Jace jumped off his bed and started to pace. His hands twitched like he wanted to strangle someone.

“He’s looking at jail-time, no need for murder.”

“It would make me feel better.” Jace folded his arms and sat on the edge of his desk. Eli’s was no longer beside it, having been moved to Haruka’s room weeks ago.

“Well, it wouldn’t make me feel better, otherwise Haruka would probably have already done it.”

“He does give off that impression, doesn’t he?” Jace rubbed his chin.

“Come on, he isn’t that bad.” Eli patted his bed. “Come on, let’s watch this show, I want to get as far as we can before you have to leave tonight.”

“I don’t have to go tonight. We can watch all night if you want to,” Jace said hopefully.

“Don’t push your luck.”

✽✽✽

The show was cheesy as hell, and Eli loved it—once he forgave the original Starbuck for not being a girl.

He didn’t even realize Haruka hadn’t bombarded him with texts until three episodes in when his stomach began to rumble. It had been so long since he’d had a chance to get hungry—Haruka usually stayed on top of feeding them both.

A bag of Doritos and two episodes later, Eli started to get downright worried. Had something happened?

“I think I’m going to turn in, man. Want to have breakfast in the morning?”

“Already? It’s only ten o’clock.”

“I had an early morning.” It was true-ish. Haruka had an early morning, and Eli had woken up long enough to watch him get dressed before going back to sleep for another hour.

What he really needed was to know why his clingy boyfriend hadn’t been texting him all night long. Even when Eli was with Alice and Nate, he still got a reminder to eat or an update on where to meet afterward.

Eli climbed off the bed.

“Wait. Before you go, I want to say something.”

“That’s a serious face.”

“Well, I have a serious thing to say.”

“Well, say it before I get anxious, serious boy.”

“Give me a second, I’ve been working up to this all night, okay?”

“Not making me any less anxious, here.” Eli wasn’t joking anymore. His shoulders were already starting to tense.

“Sorry, it’s just . . . Okay, here goes.” Jace took a breath and let it out. “I like you. No, wait, don’t say anything yet. I’ve liked you since we met, but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. We lived together and it was really good, so I thought I would be fine leaving it there for a while. Especially since you didn’t seem interested in anyone.

“But finding you with Haruka . . . I can’t help myself. I needed you to know. You don’t have to settle for that jerk—”

“Hey!”

“I’m sorry, but it’s true. He looks like he’s ready to kill someone at a moment’s notice. If you picked me, things would be easy—we would be easy.” Jace finished with a hopeful expression.

Eli was frozen to the spot. This was not how he expected his night to go.

“Jace . . .” What was he supposed to say?

“Don’t answer now. Think about it tonight and tell me at breakfast tomorrow morning.” Jace reached out like he was about to touch Eli’s hand. Eli put his hands behind his back and moved away.

“I’m sorry, Jace, but I don’t need to wait.” There was no contest. Eli wanted Haruka and only Haruka. And he wanted him right now, so he needed to get out of here ASAP—but without hurting Jace’s feelings. “You’re fun and easy to be around, but I need to be with Haruka. I can’t explain it. I just—all I know is that the thought of not having him makes me unable to breathe.”

“That’s not the healthiest sign—”

“I don’t care. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. He takes care of me in a way I didn’t even know I needed. And I take care of him too.” On the outside, maybe they looked codependent, but from the inside, they just made sense. And that was what really mattered—it was their lives after all. Not anyone else’s.

“Eli . . .”

“I’m sorry Jace, I care about you, but as a friend. Only a friend.” Eli reached out, thinking to pat Jace on the shoulder, but stopped. He would only be forcing himself in order to try and make Jace feel better. It wouldn’t feel good for him to do and might even give off mixed signals. It was better for him to be clear. “I have to go now.”

Jace closed his eyes. After a long moment, he nodded. “Okay. I don’t have to like it, but I’ll accept it. Just, if anything goes wrong—anything at all—I’ve got your back. Even if we’re just friends. Understand?”

“I understand.” Eli left the room. As soon as the door closed behind him, he sprinted for the elevator. He’d been surprised enough by Jace’s confession that Haruka should have picked up on at least some of what just happened, but he hadn’t called.

Something was definitely wrong.