Psync by Zile Elliven

Chapter Seven

Eli

“He’s no one.”

One simple sentence echoed inside Eli’s mind as he skulked back to his room. Thank god, he didn’t have any more classes today.

He was no one. He already knew that. Getting a confirmation of it shouldn’t mean anything.

Honestly, he should be glad he was no one to Haruka. The man had done nothing but tease and torment him at every turn. If Eli was no one, then it meant he could slink away gracefully from this whole stupid day. Especially since it was highly likely Haruka would ignore him the next time they ran into each other.

It was better this way. Really.

His hands were shaking as he unlocked the door to his room. He needed something, but he couldn’t remember what it was. There was something he did for panic attacks, but his taffy-like brain wasn’t letting him focus enough to remember it.

Last time, he’d had friends to redirect his energy, so he hadn’t needed—

Eli’s eyes landed on his desk where he kept his anxiety meds. That was what he was missing. How could he forget something so simple? He snatched up the bottle and dry-swallowed a pill then plopped down in his desk chair. His desk was tidy and well-organized, so he had plenty of space to lower his head onto it and focus on breathing.

He really needed a distraction, but Alice and Nate were both in class right now and Jace was at the gym.

Actually, working off a bunch of nervous energy sounded perfect right now. Did he dare ask Jace if he could join him?

All he had to do was ask. It was one little thing. Of course, it was one little thing that was now massive because Eli had his nervous system go haywire on him twice in one day.

He knew he’d completely overreacted when Haruka’s friend showed up. Chances were good the guy was perfectly harmless, but Eli had been such a bundle of nerves, his already-taxed system had taken it as an attack.

Seriously, he should be grateful for Haruka calling him no one. Eli couldn’t have handled any more surprises or socialization at that point.

He wasn’t entirely certain he could deal with it right now, but he really needed to burn this energy off. It was definitely a better alternative to sitting alone with his trash fire of a brain.

He sent the text before he could think himself out of it.

Eli: Want a gym buddy?

SpaceJace: Sure! Get over here man! It’ll give me the motivation not to slack off.

Eli continued with his no-thinking policy as he threw on some workout clothes. The light, long-sleeved T-shirt he pulled on might look out of place in the summer, but it would make him feel safe. And that was what mattered.

He slunk his way to the gym, head down, headphones on, blaring K-pop louder than the thoughts in his head.

By the time he made it inside, he was entirely convinced this was a terrible idea and that he should go home immediately for a time out so he could think about what he’d done. Then Jace saw him and waved like a maniac.

“Don’t even think about getting out of it, man. Get over here.” Jace jogged over and ushered him to the ellipticals.

At first, Eli was self-conscious, but Jace kept up a steady stream of random nonsense that began to soothe Eli enough to get into the zone.

The zone was a nice place. It was a place where movement and music synched up and allowed him to have a lovely state of no-mind. All he had to do was nod or say uh huh to Jace at the correct intervals.

It was exactly what he needed. After thirty minutes on the elliptical, Jace signaled for a break and handed him a bottle of water.

“You want to talk about it?”

Eli considered playing dumb, but Jace had done him a solid by being his gym buddy today. “Missed the first day of my geometry class because I went to the wrong classroom and gave myself a panic attack over it.”

“That fucking sucks, man.” Jace grimaced.

Eli waited for platitudes, but none were forthcoming. Just Jace agreeing with him that indeed, he’d gone through a raw deal. It actually allowed Eli the courage to elaborate.

“And then I panicked when someone new tried to introduce themselves to me.” Eli smiled just thinking about the absurdity of it.

“The sheer nerve of them,” Jace said, deadpanned.

Eli swatted him with his towel. “Right? What were they thinking?”

“I hope you taught them a lesson.” Jace smirked.

“I almost threw up on them, so they’ll definitely think twice before doing it again.”

They both stared at each other and then burst out laughing.

And it was good. It was so, so good to let all the fear and stress and self-loathing go on a wave of laughing his stupid ass off with a friend.

“Jesus.” Eli snorted and wiped away tears of mirth. “I swear, next time this happens I’m coming with you to the gym.”

“Okay, so now I’m put in the awkward position of wanting you to have frequent attacks, so I’ll have a reliable partner.”

Eli tilted his head and gazed at his roommate. Jace was acting like he actually wanted Eli around. “Well, I’d hate to make you feel awkward. I suppose I could just come here with you regularly.” That sounded normal, right?

Jace’s easy smile told Eli he’d nailed it. “What a guy. You’re a real giver.”

“Jace, what poor soul have you suckered into being your partner today?” A young man with damp, sun-streaked brown hair and a dark tan ambled up to them as he rubbed his head with a towel.

Jace lifted an eyebrow at Eli as if to say, Is this okay?

Eli smiled and nodded. He had enough endorphins in him right now for just about anything. Ah, the joyful highs of the bipolar brain.

“This poor soul also happens to be my roommate, god save him.”

“You have my sympathies.” The man doffed an imaginary hat and held it over his chest soulfully. “I’m Ash—”

“Short for Ashley.” Jace injected merrily.

“Because clearly my parents hated me.” Ash finished.

Biting back a smile, Eli nodded. “I’m Eli. Nice to meet you.” And it was nice, which was downright shocking in and of itself. Maybe college wasn’t going to eat him alive after all.

The phone in his pocket buzzed. The screen showed an unknown number and the message:

Unknown: Have you thought about switching classes? –Haruka

Eli covered his face with his hand. But it might just annoy him to death.

✽✽✽

Later that night, fluffy black hair poked out from the top of a blanket nest as Eli burrowed in, trying to hide himself from the truth.

He’d scrolled though page after page of advice about how to pad a college transcript. He hated to admit it. Loathed it to the very bottom of his soul, but Haruka had been right. Having an amazing GPA was a must—obviously—but every advanced class he took would be another feather in his cap. And if he wanted to work for the UN, he was going to need to stand out. Eli thought he’d been so meticulous when planning out his transcript, too.

This was going to be so annoying . . .

Before he sent the text he’d been putting off all evening, he cheered himself by changing the unknown number in his phone to HotJerk.

Eli: Fine, I’ll do it

HotJerk: Took you long enough

Eli: I’m going to hate every minute of it

HotJerk: No one is making you do it

Eli: And yet somehow it feels that way

HotJerk: It won’t be so bad. I’ll help you

Eli frowned at his phone. Was he in Bizarro World now? Why the hell would Haruka want to help him?

Eli: It’s ok, I’ll be fine on my own

HotJerk: So fine you’ll hate every minute of it? That sounds like a great plan. Try to market it and see how far it gets you

Eli: …

HotJerk: You’d be an idiot to turn down help that someone is freely offering you. Even if you don’t like them

Eli: No more of an idiot than someone who offers to help someone they don’t like

HotJerk: Then we can be idiots together

Eli: Fine

Eli sighed and threw his phone out of his blanket nest. Then swore as he fought his way free to find it again to put it on do not disturb.

Eli was an idiot. He had to be if he thought adding more work to his plate was a good idea. His only consolation was that the more he had, the more exhausted he would be, and the more exhausted he was, the less he remembered his dreams at night.