One Hot Doctor by Sarah J. Brooks

Chapter 38

Cora

Taylor’s sharp, loud cry pulls me out of a lovely dream where all I’m doing is sleeping for hours. I sit up with a start, and with a groan of protest, I swing my legs over the bed and pad to her crib.

“It’s okay; Mommy is here.” I lift her from the crib, and she quiets as soon as she feels my arms.

That’s the good thing with Taylor. She wakes up crying multiple times a night, but as soon as Thomas or I pick her up, she stops and waits patiently for her milk. I’ve compared notes with Riley and Fran, and their girls are little firecrackers. Nothing quietens them apart from a nipple in their mouths.

Sleep with a newborn is a rare commodity and a luxury. Now I get why new parents walk around looking dazed.

I carry Taylor to the changing station in the corner of our bedroom, just as Thomas gets up.

“I’m okay,” I whisper to him. “Go back to bed; you need your sleep.”

He comes and kisses me on the cheek and proceeds to change Taylor’s diaper. I pass him the wipes and then a fresh diaper. We work smoothly like a factory line, having done this several times every night since Taylor came home two weeks ago.

No matter how many times I tell Thomas not to wake up in the middle of the night when I do, he always does. I feel sorry for him because he has to put in a full day of work while I have the luxury of napping during the day when Taylor does.

I carry Taylor to bed with us and proceed to breastfeed her.

“Call me when you need me,” Thomas says sleepily. He kisses Taylor’s forehead and my cheek and then promptly falls asleep.

The only sounds in the room are the slurping sounds of Taylor suckling. Scenes like these are the ones that make me want to break down and cry at the unfairness of life.

How am I supposed to carry on without Thomas when he’s everything that I could want? He’s the perfect husband and dad. He changes diapers, gives Taylor her bath, and cuddles her to sleep. How can he bear knowing that in a week’s time, his daughter will not be in his home anymore?

I had serious doubts when I was pregnant over whether Thomas really wanted our baby but those disappeared as soon as she was born. I have no doubts whatsoever about his feelings for Taylor. He adores her. He looks at her with so much love that it brings tears to my eyes. Tom, the bartender called me yesterday to check on the baby and me. He made me laugh till I cried when he told me the ridiculous conversation that Thomas and Martin had had at the bar on the evening of Taylor’s birth.

I can’t believe that Tessa messed him up so badly that he would give up on us when we have a chance at being a family. But, as painful as the thought of living without him is, I’d rather leave now than stay without a commitment from Thomas. Taylor might be in college by the time he decides that he does, in fact, want a relationship.

I want to live and love. I may never fall in love again, but I definitely want to give it a try.

 

 

***

 

It’s afternoon, and just as I lay Taylor down for a nap, my mom texts me to tell me to call her when I can. I’m grateful that most of my regular callers text me first, asking me to call them back when I’m free.

I go downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee and settle down with it. I call my mom back, and she picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, honey,” she says.

“Hi, Mom.” Since getting Taylor, my appreciation for my mom has gone up tenfold. She did a good job with all three of us, and whenever I imagine Taylor as an adult, I’m awed by the amount of work that will take.

“How’s Taylor doing?” she says.

“Good, she’s asleep now.”

We talk about the baby some more, and then she tells me the reason for calling.

“Ian proposed,” she says, barely containing her excitement. “And I said yes.”

The news is definitely a surprise. It hasn’t even been a year. It’s on the tip of my tongue to point this out, but at the last minute, I bite it back. She’s not going to change her mind because I pointed that out. Besides, I’m sure that she knows exactly how long it’s been since they started dating. Life is short, and happiness should be grabbed. I like Ian, and I see why she’s drawn to him. He’s stable and dependable, and he makes life fun for her.

Who am I then to deny her happiness? All these thoughts run through my mind in seconds.

“That’s awesome news, Mom! Congratulations, and tell Ian I said so.”

There’s silence on the other end, and then I hear sniffing noises. “Mom, are you okay?”

She sniffs loudly. She’s definitely crying.

“Sorry, I got a bit emotional.” She lets out a laugh. “I have to admit I wasn’t expecting that. I was sure you were going to react as Adeline did. Thank you for that. I can’t tell you how much your support and good wishes mean to me.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I’m so glad that I did not voice my original thoughts.

“I love you girls so much and Caleb too, and I just want you to be happy for me. I feel as if I’m living my best life now,” she says. “I feel alive again.”

“I know, Mom.”

She tells me their plans for the wedding. They don’t want anything grand, just a small ceremony with family and a few friends. She asked Adeline to be her maid of honor, and of course, Adeline told her that she had lost her mind.

“I hope you don’t mind that I asked her,” Mom says, her voice filled with worry. “I’m just desperate to heal our relationship, and nothing seems to be working.”

“I don’t mind at all, and I’m sorry for the way she reacted. Give her time. She’ll come around.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, I know she will.” I sound more confident than I feel, but I want my mother to be happy. She deserves it.

We talk a little bit more and then say goodbye.

Taylor sleeps for most of the afternoon as she usually does, giving me a chance to catch up on some admin work for the gym. I’m glad that I can do most of my work at home.

Around four, Taylor wakes up, and after a change of diapers, we go downstairs, where I breastfeed her and then lay her against my chest. The doorbell rings, startling both of us.

I plant a kiss on Taylor’s forehead to reassure her. “Let’s go and check who it is.” I peer through the keyhole and see an eye staring back at me, though, of course, whoever it is can’t see me.

The face moves back. It’s Adeline.

I fling the door open. “Don’t you know that you can’t see through a peephole?”

She grins. “I know. I don’t know why I do it. It drives John Mathews crazy.”

She looks tired. “Come in.”

“Aww,” she goes as she walks around me to look at Taylor. “Look at you. Who is becoming a big girl? Aunty can’t wait to hold you.” She goes to the bathroom to wash up and then finds us in the living room.

She gently lifts Taylor from my arms and goes to sit with her on the rocking chair. She sighs. “This is what I call heaven.”

Adeline seems to relax as she rocks with Taylor. Babies have that effect on people.

“You should have another baby,” I tell her as I stand to go and make a coffee for her. “See how much you relax when you hold her.”

She winks at me. “Or I could just borrow Taylor.”

“Not going to happen,” I mumble as I disappear into the kitchen.

I feel sorry for Adeline. She’s held on to her anger for Mom and Ian so long that it’s become like a way of life now. I know that’s the reason she’s come by unannounced. The news that Ian and Mom are getting married has distressed her.

I was there not too long ago. In his own subtle way, Ian made me open up my mind to the idea of Mom and Thomas. I pour the coffee into a cup and carry it back to the living room.

“Are you really going to move back to your apartment in a week’s time?” Adeline asks as she sips her coffee.

“Yep, it’s what we both agreed to. Thomas hasn’t changed his views, and I’ve accepted that relationships are not for everyone.”

She shakes her head. “How can he give this up? A chance to watch her grow. They change so fast. He’ll miss so much if you two aren’t living together.”

“I guess he’s okay with that.”

I don’t really want to talk about Thomas. I know he’s not going to change his mind. He’s arranged for an agency to provide me with a nanny when I go back to my apartment. That was a sweet gesture that I really appreciate. The agency he chose is high-end and a service I definitely could not afford on my own. She’ll be coming during the week from nine in the morning to one o’clock. And then I can work from home in the afternoon or evening when Taylor sleeps.

It sounds good on paper, but every time I think about it, I feel my heart is breaking into pieces. Why did I fall in love with a man who is not capable of love?

Adeline doesn’t say anything else for a few minutes. I know she’s readying herself to talk about Mom and Ian’s wedding.

“So,” Adeline says in a casual voice, but there’s a tiny vein throbbing on her forehead. “Have you heard from Mom?”

“Yes, she called me a little earlier.”

“You know about the wedding then,” she says. “Can you believe she had the audacity to ask me to be her maid of honor?”

“I wish you’d said yes.” She makes as if to talk, but I silence her with a raised hand. “Let me finish.”

She closes her eyes and then opens them again. She’s probably fighting to contain her anger.

“When she told me, the first thought that came to my mind was to tell her that they hadn’t dated for a full year. Then I realized that she wasn’t asking me for permission. She was informing me, and she wanted me to be happy for her.”

Adeline’s features tighten. I force myself to plow on.

“We all deserve to be happy. Who are we to judge who our mother chooses to be happy with? It’s her life, Adeline. I have mine, and so do you. We’re adults who get to make our own choices. She’s made hers. Let’s be happy for her.”

“What if he breaks her heart?” she says.

“Then we’ll be there for her and help her pick up the pieces. We’re family and that’s what family does.”

She glances down at a sleeping Taylor. “When did your mother get so wise?”

I let out a discreet sigh of relief.

“You think I should be Mom’s maid of honor?” she asks lifting her gaze to me.

“You’ll make a beautiful maid of honor.”

“Okay. I will.”