Player Loves Curves Box Set #4-6 by Hope Ford
Carter
I can’t believeit’s been three weeks since Maggie and Hanna have moved in. I’ve spent every minute of every day with them except for when I go to the clubhouse to train. I’m putting in the work to get back on the field. I know I have a lot to prove to my coach and my team, so I’m working hard for it. I’ve apologized to all of them, but I know it’s not enough. I have a whole new motivation that is burning inside me and the thought that I will be on the field again one day with Hanna and Maggie in the stands pushes me even harder.
There’s still a distance between Hanna and me. We’ve tiptoed around each other, trying to get our bearings on the whole situation. I know she probably hates depending on me, but it’s important to me to do this, to try and make this all right. For the most part, I’ve forgiven her, taking into account that she thought she was doing the right thing even though her thought pattern on that is sort of fucked up. I can feel her looking at me all the time and I know she has something to say to me, but something’s holding her back. I don’t pressure her. She’s in my home, she quit her job, she’s working on writing some kind of romance novel, and I know she’s still trying to figure out what’s happening between us.
I park my car in the driveway and hurry to the door. It’s my favorite part of the day anymore, coming home. “I’m home,” I holler.
Maggie and Hanna both appear around the corner. Maggie runs to me, and I catch her, pulling her up into my arms. Hanna keeps her distance, watching us. I squeeze Maggie and blow raspberries on her belly until she’s laughing and screaming. I stop myself from going over to Hanna, leaning down and kissing her. We’re not there yet, and I don’t know if we ever will be. Even though I still want her, probably more than I ever have.
“How’s the writing going? And oh my God, what’s that smell?” I ask her, inhaling deeply and savoring the Italian scent. She looks cute with reading glasses perched on her head, a pencil behind her ear.
“It’s good, I’m almost done with the first draft. And I have dinner in the oven. I fixed your favorite—well it used to be your favorite, uh, ravioli and garlic bread.”
I moan, remembering the times she made it for me in high school. “It’s still my favorite. What’s the special occasion?”
A faint flush tinges her cheeks. “Nothing. Well, I was hoping we could talk, maybe after Maggie goes to bed.”
I look at her, trying to read what she’s thinking and hoping it’s not a bomb she’s about to drop. I’m happy with our situation, but I can tell she’s holding back. I nod my head at her, and she seems relieved. “Uh, do you mind watching Maggie so I can go shower?”
An image of her naked in the shower torments me, and I have to look away from her. “Sure. We got this. Take your time.”
* * *
Hanna
I showeredand got ready then we all set and ate dinner together. Carter praised me over and over for the dinner and then he helped me clean up. This has become our nightly ritual. I usually cook and then he cleans up while I get Maggie ready for bed. But then he always finishes in time to come and tuck her in. It’s hard watching them. He never wants to leave her, and she’s already got it figured out that she has him wrapped around her finger.
I’ve kissed her and left them alone to go to the living room and mentally prepare myself for what I need to say. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I still need to say it.
He’s hesitant when he walks into the living room, sitting on the chair opposite of the couch. He’s on the defensive, I can already tell. “You wanted to talk?”
I nod. I’ve practiced it a thousand times in my head, but it’s harder than I thought to get it out. I clear my throat. “Yeah, well first I want to thank you for the money.” I hold my hand up when he starts to talk. “Please let me finish.”
He sits back on the chair and motions for me to continue.
“You didn’t have to do that. You’ve already started a trust fund for Maggie. You don’t need to give me money too.”
When I pause, he says, “I want you to be able to stay home with her. It’s stupid to pay a babysitter and trust someone we don’t know with her when I know you want to be with her anyway.”
I could argue with him more about how I’m not his responsibility, but I don’t want to fight with him. Instead, I scoot to the edge of the couch. “I also wanted to tell you again that I’m sorry.” I hold my hand up because I know he’s going to interrupt me again. “I know I’ve told you this, but at the time I didn’t think you were ready to hear it. I really am sorry. If I could go back, I would have done so many things differently. I just want you to know that what I did was wrong. I cheated you and Maggie, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. I know I can’t expect you to forgive me either, but I still want you to know that I truly am sorry.”
He looks at me for the longest time. I’m about to get up, but he beats me to it. He stands and walks over to the couch slowly and with each step, my heart rate picks up another notch until I feel it’s going to explode when he sits down next to me, his leg against mine.
I’m still facing ahead, and he’s sitting sideways looking at me.
“Look at me, Hanna.”
I scoot back from him, giving myself room to breathe, and pull one leg up on the couch and face him.
“I know you’re sorry. There’s so many things I’m sorry for too. I should have fought for you. I shouldn’t have given up so easily. I shouldn’t have refused to see you. I was so fucked up in my head, devastated, and I sort of fell apart. I should have been stronger. For you. For me, for us.”
He reaches for me, grabbing my hand in his own. “I know we have a ways to go, Hanna, to get back to where we were. But I want to. I want you to be mine again. Fuck that, in my mind you were always mine, but now I want it to be true.”
I let him hold my hand, and I soak up the warmth that his touch always brings me. But I’m still hesitant. “Carter, I don’t blame you for any of this, but there’s so much that I’ve tried to overlook and force myself to be okay with.” He looks at me with confusion, and I can tell I’m screwing this up. “I haven’t been with anyone else, Carter. You’re the only man I’ve slept with and well, I know, well, I don’t want to be compared to you know, whatever you have going on.”
A look of apprehension flashes across his face. “Have I ever lied to you?”
I shake my head instantly. “No.”
He nods his head and blows out a deep breath. “When I left thinking that you were with someone else, it killed me.”
I try to pull my hand from his. “I don’t want to hear about them…”
He holds tight. “You have to listen to me, Hanna. This is hard, and embarrassing for me to say, but you need to hear it.”
I quit struggling and nod my head.
“I wanted to get you out of my head so bad. Everywhere I looked I thought I saw you. I started drinking—how in the world they haven’t kicked me out of the league I don’t know. But yeah, there were women. I wanted to find someone so I could do to them what I thought you had done to me. There were a lot of them. And I treated all of them like shit. I was wanting to forget you, but my mind, fuck my body wouldn’t let me betray you.”
I whisper, my throat thick with emotion, “What do you mean?”
His cheeks turn ruddy. “I couldn’t perform. No matter how badly I wanted to hurt you, to forget you, to put you out of my mind, I couldn’t, not with anyone. I haven’t been with anyone, in that way, since our graduation night.”
I fiercely shake my head. “There’s no way.”
But the look he’s giving me convinces me that he’s telling me the truth. “Trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you about this.”
I feel a knot of nerves in the pit of my stomach. “What about now? I mean…” I stop, too embarrassed to continue.
His mouth pulls to one side in a grimace. “My uh, problem was fixed the day I saw you on that stage and I haven’t had a problem since.”
I slap at his chest, laughingly. “Whatever, Carter. I’m fifty pounds more than I was in high school. You didn’t even recognize me at first, I’m sure.”
He catches my hand and now he’s holding both of them. “My body recognized you before I did. And thin or curvy, I want only you.”
“But…” I start, unsure.
He saves me. “We’re not in any rush, Hanna. I want this to work. We need to get to know each other again, and no matter how long that takes, I’m here for it.”
I slide closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. “I’d like that. But maybe we can kiss. Like when you come home instead of me waiting on the sidelines while Maggie gets all the kisses, I can get in line too.”
I feel his jaw stretch into a smile. He kisses the top of my head. “I’d like that more than you’d know.”
