Damaged Gods by K.C. Cross, J.A. Huss
CHAPTER TEN - PIE
It was stupid of me, really. To think that I might fall into some good luck. That’s just not how my life works. I never get anything good. Everything that comes my way is terrible. Sometimes, it’s borderline evil.
Like this. Being cursed with a monster. This is what I would consider borderline evil.
I’m sitting on the bed listening to Tomas mess with some water heater thing downstairs. You have to feed it wood. And he says it takes a while to get enough hot water for a bath, but it’s worth it.
So he tells me.
I’m not arguing. I do need a bath. I didn’t even notice how bad I smell and how my cute, completely-appropriate-for-Halloween schoolgirl costume now looks more like a three-day-bender, I-have-no-other-clothes outfit.
Tomas comes up the steps and walks into the room smiling. Then he frowns. “I thought you were gonna put your new clothes away?”
We both look at the piles of bags filled with new clothes. Then back at each other. I sigh and shrug. “It’s not as fun now that I know it was a high price to pay. I would be better off getting a waitressing job in town to pay for what we need instead of using the free money.”
“Can you do that?”
I perk up a little because he didn’t immediately tell me it’s against the rules. “I don’t know. Can’t I? I mean… if I came home every night it wouldn’t be breaking the rules, right? And then I wouldn’t have to go into debt and I could pay for all our food and stuff.”
Tomas sits down next to me. He’s been really nice to me today. “I don’t think Pell would like that though.”
“No,” I say, feeling utterly defeated. “I suppose he wouldn’t.”
“But you could ask him. No one has ever come up with that idea before. It’s a good one. It saves you, at least.”
“But not him, right? I’m here to please him, and work for him, and break his curse.”
“It’s your curse too.”
“Yeah.” I don’t need reminding.
“Come on.” He stands up. “I’ll help you put your new stuff away. Then you can take a bath and settle in, and I’ll even make dinner tonight.”
“Fuck. I forgot about dinner.”
“I said I’d make it. You just relax.”
I look up at him and man, this guy just gets better-looking by the second. He’s still got the same roaring hot body. But he’s a good guy too. And that’s not usually how the hot ones come. “Thanks, Tomas. I really mean it. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here to help me today.”
“Believe it or not, Pell is a pretty good guy.”
“Guy?” I make a face. “He’s got horns, Tomas. And hooves. He’s half-goat or something.”
“He’s actually half-minotaur.” Then he pauses, like he wants to say something. But the pause goes on too long and even though he keeps talking, I just know that what comes out next wasn’t what he was thinking about. “My point is, even if I wasn’t here, you’d be OK. He’s not that bad.”
I shoot Tomas a look. “Did you see the list in that book?” He winces. “I’m not an idiot. I know what ‘fellatio’ means.”
“No slave caretaker has ever—and I do mean ever—given Pell a fucking blowjob to pay a debt.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “Did they do it to not pay a debt?”
“The point is, he’s not gonna make you do any of it. Except for the foot wash and the horn polishing. He does like that shit. Especially the horns. So if you need to pay a debt off, you can’t go wrong with the feet and the horns.”
“Hoof washing.” I sigh.
“It pays well. It’s a win-win.”
“Whatever. I don’t want to think about any of it right now. I feel so… worthless. Like my life has no value at all. I’m just some thing to be used and discarded.”
“That’s not even true. You’re worth a lot.”
“What do you mean? The magic book is trying to steal everything from me. I didn’t agree to anything, I’m not getting paid to do this job, and nothing is free. Not even room and board like the flyer promised.”
“That’s not really true. Your parents are getting paid.”
I blink at him. Then snarl, “What?”
“Yeah. I mean, not directly. It’s just… good luck. They’ll wake up tomorrow and something good will come their way. Something fabulous. They win the lottery, they get left money in a will by some long-lost relative, their house is suddenly paid off.”
I put up a hand. “Hold the fuck on. My mother is getting paid? Like… I was literally sold into slavery?”
“It’s luck—”
“Fuck your luck! The woman who abandoned me with child protective services when I was nine because I refused to say that my Pia was imaginary—that bitch is gonna get paid with good-luck tokens while I’m stuck here being a monster’s slave?”
“Um. Wow. I’m sorry she did that shit to you.”
“And that reminds me. Where is Pia? This is not funny anymore.” I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. “I want my friend back.”
Tomas puts his hand on my shoulder. “Pie. Please, just don’t think about any of it right now. We’ll all work it out tomorrow. Maybe getting a job is a good idea. I’ll tell Pell that it is, OK?”
I sniffle. “You will?”
He nods. “Just… don’t cry. And relax a little. It’s gonna work out, I promise.”
He doesn’t wait for me to answer, just gets up and starts pulling my things out of bags. I watch him. Let him put it all away anywhere he wants. And he does all that in silence.
Finally, he proclaims the tub ready for me and then excuses himself to go make dinner and check on Pell.
The hot water does feel wonderful and when I sink all the way up to my shoulders, I let out a long breath of relief. Nothing is better. I’m not sure anything will ever be better again. But… Tomas was right. The bath was a good idea. It helps.
There are some bottles of stuff. Shampoo, I guess. And some bars of soap. And when I wash my hair with it, it’s surprisingly soft afterward. Maybe it’s magic shampoo? That would be a small perk.
I soak in the tub for a long time, just thinking about my new life. How none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t stopped at that gas station to pee and wash my face.
I would still have Pia. I would be on my way to Toledo. I would still be me. And I would be free.
I don’t even know how to make sense of this new life.
Tomas is nice. I like him a lot. And he’s fun to look at. His wild, dark hair falls just to his shoulders, and it’s thick. His eyes are dark too, like maybe he’s Italian. If so, that makes sense because I’m pretty sure they come from ancient Rome. I wonder what it was like back then? I try to imagine living though all those two thousand years. All the changes. All the new inventions. Especially in the last century. Rovers on Mars, and self-driving cars, and cell phones.
I do have to admit, Pell could drive the Jeep. He didn’t lean on the clutch or stall out or anything. He’s been driving cars for a hundred years. That’s what he said.
He’s actually not that scary now that I’ve known him for two days. It’s rather easy to unsee his monster parts. Except that dick of his. Holy hell. It’s huge. And he has no shame about it dangling around all over the place. But he did put on pants for a few hours for my benefit.
I smile about that part. I was kinda bossy earlier. Before I realized I truly am a slave.
He’s got nice eyes. They’re yellow, and totally unnatural. But that just makes them interesting. And his hooves are really pretty. Those black and cream striations are unique.
And the horns. God, the horns. They aren’t like a ram’s, that’s for sure. They’re not circular that way. They are long, and don’t grow upward, but downward and to the back. They have a little corkscrew twist in them too.
Now, that cemetery? I don’t know what to make of that. I should probably just stay away from it, like Pell said. The cathedral though. Now that place is going to be a trip to figure out. I haven’t been up those other staircases yet. It could be cool to explore.
The apothecary, on the other hand, won’t be fun at all. There were so many jars. So many books. Too many potions and spells to think about. I’m never going to be able to break this curse, that’s for sure.
The cathedral kitchen was massive. And when Tomas showed me Grant’s magic recipe book and how to make the food prepare itself—well, that might’ve been the best part of my day.
I really did feel like I was doing magic, even if none of those spells were mine.
But Pell said no more. Now I have to prepare food here.
Then I remember Sheriff Russ Roth and sink a little further down into the tub. Now he was nice. He was the absolute best part of my day. And I am going on that date tomorrow night. Pell is mistaken if he thinks he can control my social life. If I have to be stuck here in this curse with him, the least he can do is let me have a little fun.
And I’m going to insist on that job.
There was a ‘help wanted’ sign in the Honey Bean window. I bet the sheriff could even put in a good word for me and then I’d be a shoo-in.
I could make it work. That’s the point of all this thinking.
If I have a plan, I can make it work.
Eventually I have to get out and face my new world again. I do this reluctantly, not even sure if I should go downstairs. I can hear Tomas in the kitchen and if it wasn’t for the smell of grilling steaks, I might skip dinner. But it’s been a long day, and I was too consumed with the hot sheriff and my sudden influx of fake money to eat much at lunch, so I’m actually starving.
I put on a pair of soft sweatpants I got from the lingerie store, and a t-shirt, and I suddenly feel a thousand times better than I did an hour ago.
That schoolgirl costume needs to be burned. Three days I was wearing that stuff.
Crazy. Because I had actually forgotten I was wearing a costume.
Anyway, when I go downstairs Tomas is just buttering some of the fresh rolls I bought from the bakery today.
“This all smells delicious,” I say, walking over to the table and taking in the spread. There’s salad, and wine—I hit that liquor store pretty hard—and the steaks. “You’re a great cook, Tomas. Maybe you should be in charge of feeding the beast? Speaking of him, where is Pell?”
“Sit,” Tomas says, placing a roll on my plate. “He’s in his tomb, I think. I went looking for him, but…” Tomas shrugs. “He’s not around, so I’m assuming he has retired.”
“Can’t you go knock on the door?”
“The tombs don’t have doors.”
“Of course they do. They are creepy black holes that have a menacing vibe to them, but they all have doors.”
Tomas just stares at me for a moment. “You can see the tomb doors?”
“Of course, can’t you?”
“Hmm.” He shakes his head. “No. I’ve never been in one. But the way Pell talks about his, it’s like another world in there.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like… you know when you’re outside the cathedral and it’s just a simple old building? But when you go inside and see all those staircases and high ceilings, it’s huge, right?”
“Yeah. I’ve noticed that.”
“I think that’s how the tombs are. Really small on the outside, but inside they are like a whole other world.”
“Literally another world?”
“You’d have to ask Pell. Before you came, he and I weren’t exactly friends.”
“No? He seems to like you.”
“I guess. But really, losing Grant was a shock to us. I mean, we’ve always known it could happen. It just almost never does. So when you showed up, it was unexpected. We’re still adjusting.”
“Am I going to get punished with some kind of debt because he’s not eating tonight? I don’t understand how his wellbeing is my concern.”
“You don’t get punished. He’s allowed to make his own decisions.”
“Must be nice,” I mumble.
“I will talk to him about the job, though. I promise. I bet he gives in. He doesn’t like being here either. But he’s been stuck in this curse for so long now, he has no clue what it would even be like to walk the earth as a free man anymore.”
“He was human once?”
“Human? Who said anything about human?”
“You said ‘a free man.’ So I just assumed…”
Tomas shakes his head. “No. Well, yes. He’s a man, for sure. We can all see his package dangling all over the place.” I chuckle. Can’t help it. “But no. He was made this way.”
“How long have you been here, Tomas? And why are you cursed?”
“I don’t even remember a life before here.”
“What?”
Tomas lets out a long, tired sigh. “Yeah. I don’t remember. I’ve just… always been here, I think. Well, not here specifically. We were in the Old World for thousands of years before they relocated the sanctuary to Pennsylvania in the late sixteen hundreds.”
“Were you a priest? Or some kind of monk?”
He considers this for a moment, wearing a look of ‘doubtful,’ but says, “Maybe.”
“Hmm. And you’re not interested in finding out more of your story?”
“Where would I look?”
“There are so many books in that room. Maybe in there?”
“That’s the apothecary. Those are spells, and potions, and dire warnings.”
I try to laugh off the ‘dire warnings’ part, but I’m not sure I entirely succeed. So I just change the subject. “Doesn’t this place have a library?”
“Somewhere, I’m sure. Up in those moving hallways.”
“They move?”
“You could literally get lost here at Saint Mark’s.”
“Like, never find your way back lost?”
“Back where? You won’t leave, not really. But those rooms up there, they’re… how do I explain this? They’re like memories.”
“I don’t get it. Memories?”
“Yeah. Like… days gone by. Somewhere up there are rooms that contain everything that’s happened over the many thousands of years it’s existed. This place is always growing. You’ll see. Eventually there will be a room up there for this day. I don’t know what the lag time is, so don’t go looking for it or anything. But one day, this will be history.” Tomas pans his hands wide at my new tiny cottage and then sighs. Like he’s tired.
“Well, that’s kind of amazing. So if you wanted to figure out your past, you could theoretically find the room from your first day here, and what? Go relive it?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know. Never tried.”
“We should try, Tomas. I’ll help you. This memory stuff might be the best thing about this place.”
He doesn’t agree or disagree, so I know he’s not really interested. This is my cue to drop it and change the subject. The meal is over now and he’ll be leaving. Then it will just be me in here and I’m not used to that. I’m used to always having my friend on my shoulder. I miss Pia terribly. And I want her here with me so bad, it makes my heart hurt.
I need to figure out what’s happened to her. But until then, I’ll have to settle for Tomas’s company.
And as soon as I think that thought, he stands up and wipes his mouth with his napkin. A clear signal he’s ready to leave.
“You know what would help?” Tomas says.
“With what?”
“Making Pell agree to the job in Granite Springs.”
“Should I even ask?”
Tomas grins. “Hey, I’m not saying he’s not an asshole. He is. But I was serious about the debt payoffs. He’s not gonna make you do anything you don’t agree to. He gives no fucks if you have debt, Pie.”
“That’s not helpful. What were you gonna say?”
“Come up with a spell.”
I crinkle my face up at this. “I’m not a witch.”
“You don’t need to be a witch. It’s not magic. Not really. It’s just the laws of the universe, Pie. Learn to live within them. Learn how to ask for favors. That’s all magic is. And you can do that. Hell, maybe even I could do that. And anyway, Grant left a shitload of spells, and potions, and instructions in that apothecary. Just like all the caretakers before him. There are literally thousands of years of knowledge in that room. Use it. Come up with a spell, or a potion, or a glamour that will make Pell happy. That will tell him that you’re on his side and you will work hard to break his curse. That’s all he wants. Just give him what he wants and he’ll do the same for you.”
“I hope he appreciates you. Because you’re a good friend, Tomas.”
He smiles at me. “Thanks.” Then he looks over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go back to the cathedral.”
“Wait, where do you stay up there? How do I find you if you’re not around?”
“I’ll find you.” He winks at me. “Don’t worry about that.”
The next morning, I wake early. Or, I should say, I get up early. I’m not sure I actually slept. The first night here everything was overwhelming. I was exhausted and confused and sleep was necessary. But last night all this new stuff was swirling around in my head like a freaking whirlwind.
It’s not even light out yet when I leave the cottage. I don’t know what time breakfast is served and Tomas didn’t show up to direct me—obviously, Pell didn’t either. So I decide I’m going up to the cathedral to check out the apothecary myself.
Tomas’s suggestion makes a lot of sense. Everything in this world runs on give and take so if I want Pell to be reasonable and give me something I want, I need to do that in return.
And how hard could it be, really? To mix up a potion? I mean, if there really are thousands of years of spells, and potions, then that’s like having a recipe book. I’m not a great cook, but I can follow direction and that’s mostly what cooking is. I might not be a master chef but I can scramble eggs.
Is spellcasting much different?
If I can find something to make Pell’s life easier, he will be happy. Hell, this might even strike some debt off my page in the book.
I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying.
I hurry up the hill in the approaching dawn and do my best not to look at the tombs on either side of the path. But it’s pretty hard not to notice those gaping black doorways. And inside some of them, I see movement. Like there really are monsters inside. I shudder and walk faster until I’m over the hill and the cathedral is looming before me.
I pause briefly in the lower great hall and look up the staircases on either side of the main one. I wonder what’s lurking up there. Ghosts? Other monsters? Or just bits and pieces of time tucked away in rooms?
That poem above the doors comes back to me. Not the part about the horns and the hooves, but the part about time. A tick of time, a last mistake. Keep them safe behind the gate.
But I don’t really know what it means. The gate—that’s probably the gate out front. Or the gate in back. Or hell, who knows? Maybe there are dozens of gates to this place?
Again, I shudder, then go up the central staircase and enter the apothecary room and let out a long breath. There’s a lot to unpack in here. And then I remember that it’s all written in Latin, so I just slump down onto the couch and think.
How does this Latin thing work?
There’s something there that I’m missing. Because Pell thinks we’re all speaking Latin when we’re not. Is it possible that there is a spell that allows him to understand foreign languages?
It makes sense to me. And it’s a starting point. So I get up and start looking at the spines of the books for clues. There are too many for this plan to be practical, but the book Pell was showing me yesterday is still open on the stone counter, so I start there. These are Grant’s notes. Pell and Tomas make him out to be, if not brilliant, at the very least competent, in the realm of spellworking.
I take it back over to the couch, sit down, and start paging through the book. I’m well into the middle of the thing before I find one I can read.
And boom. It’s exactly what I was looking for.
Pia’s words inside the cottage come back to me in this moment. This is weird.
She was right back then and it still holds true now. Because this spell is called How to Read the Books in the Apothecary.
I page ahead, looking for more spells I can understand, but the rest of the book is all in other languages, most of them not anything I recognize as letters—unusual symbols, and dots, and lines. Some of it even looks like music notes. But not exactly music notes.
And every single page in every other book I take off the shelves is written in another language.
One spell. That’s what I have to work with.
Good thing it’s exactly the spell I need.
I find an apron, tie my hair back, crack my knuckles, and get started.
Magic, here I come.