Southern Secrets by Natasha Madison
Chapter 17
Asher
I stareinto the eyes of the woman who has haunted my dreams and thoughts for the last I don’t even know. But nothing can compare to looking into the real thing. Her eyes are a soft blue, a crystal blue that you can see right through her.
I can feel her heart beating just as fast as mine, as her chest rises and falls. The heat of her hands that were on my chest, like she branded me with her touch. "Coming," Amelia says and slips out from in front of me. She walks back up the stairs without a second glance back at me and goes into the house. The door slams shut, making me aware that what just happened now was a mistake. The guilt settles in my stomach as I think about how much over the line I just crossed.
I hang my head as my chest rises up and down as if I just chased off a wild pack of wolves. I can’t move from my spot, the smell of lavender still all around me. My body knows she was right here and refuses to move.
"What the fuck was I thinking?" I ask myself as I put my head back and look at the ceiling of the garage. "What the hell was I doing?" I shake my head. "In her parents’ house. With her brother and her father mere steps away from us." I wasn’t; that was the point of it. When I walked into the house and saw her laughing and smiling, it just … The answer was so blatant and so easy. Bottom line, I couldn’t fucking help myself.
Following Jacob into his house, the last thing I was surprised to see was her in the kitchen laughing. I had to get away from her as fast as I could, so I ducked out and came out to the garage. Trying to convince myself that whatever I was thinking about and whatever I was feeling was the worst idea I’ve ever had in my whole life. And I’ve had some stupid ideas that got me into hot water more than once, but this, with her, I’d be cut off at the knees.
I just couldn’t control myself with her standing there in front of me. Her eyes were changing right before my eyes. Pissed because I was everywhere she turned. Happy knowing that I got under her skin just as much. The information broke the little strength I had left in me. My head was yelling at me that it was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life, yet my heart, my heart was telling me that this moment is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.
The past three days have been like a game of cat and mouse. Working all day long, pushing all the frustration all out of me. Getting home and seeing her there looking like she was going out of her mind, yet looking more beautiful than she did that morning. I avoided her as much as I could, staying in my room for fear I’d throw her down and kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. I’d wait for her to go to bed before going back on the couch and sleeping. My alarm would ring every two hours. I’d stand there beside her bed sometimes right before I wake her and wonder what it would feel like to lie with her in my arms.
The door opens again, and I look over, hoping it’s Amelia. Hoping she came back to finish what we started, but nothing I’ve ever wanted in my life I actually got. "Dinner is ready." Ethan sticks his head into the garage. I nod at him as he turns around.
You saw what you had to see. Get the fuck out of here. My head yells at me, but my feet, my feet start moving toward the house
When I walk into the kitchen, Kallie is walking out toward the dining room. Following her, I see that everyone is in the dining room sitting down. Jacob sits at the head of the table with Kallie making her way toward the chair on his right. I spot the empty chair right beside Jacob and Ethan. I look toward the other end of the table where Amelia sits between Gabriel and Aubrey. She bends her head to rub noses with Aubrey before turning to Gabriel and picking up his plate. He points at all the food he wants. She places his plate in front of him. "Wait until we say grace." He nods at her. "Give me sugar." She points at her cheek, and he huffs out, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
"Help yourself," Jacob says from beside me. My eyes move from Amelia to the feast in front of me.
Kallie comes back into the room, and the smile on her face is huge. "All that is missing is Graham." She takes a breath. "And the family would be complete.”
"That’s what you get when you enlist," Ethan says. "He’s keeping us safe." Kallie nods at him, and I see that Jacob has put his hand on hers.
"Let’s say grace," Jacob says, and I reach out my hands, putting one hand in Ethan’s and another in Jacob’s. I close my eyes, but I don’t listen to the words that are said. Instead, I wonder how different my life would have been had I had this. I stop my head from playing the what-if game as we all say, "Amen."
"Nothing like Mom’s cooking," Ethan says, and all eyes go to Emily, who just side-eyes him.
"What? I like your cooking, too."
"Nice save there, McIntyre," Amelia says, pointing her fork at him.
I only talk when someone asks me something. My head is going around and around in circles, and I know I have to get out of here.
"Thank you for dinner," I say to Kallie. "It was delicious as always." I get up, grabbing my empty plate and moving toward the kitchen.
"You don’t have to do that, Asher," Kallie says.
Ignoring her, I walk to the kitchen and rinse off my plate. I open the dishwasher, placing it on the rack, when I suddenly feel eyes on me.
Amelia stands there, wringing her hands in front of her. "Are you headed home?"
"I am," I say, closing the dishwasher and wiping off my hands.
"Can I catch a ride with you?" she asks me softly. "I don’t want anyone to go out of their way to bring me home, and I’m a little tired."
"Of course," I say to her, and she turns, walking back to the dining room.
"I’m going to catch a ride with Asher," Amelia says, walking over to Jacob, who pushes back from the table and gets up to hug her. She looks up at him with a smile on her face. "Love you, Dad."
"Love you more, baby girl." He pushes her hair back and kisses her forehead.
"Call me tomorrow," Kallie says to her when she goes to her mother for a hug.
"I’ll see you tomorrow," Jacob says to me, his voice loud, making Amelia just look over at me. She moves her eyes from me to her father and then to Ethan.
"Wouldn’t miss it," I say to him and turn to walk out of the room when Amelia's voice stops me from moving.
"What am I missing?" she asks, looking all around the room.
I want to tell her nothing, but Jacob is fast to tell her. "I’m trying to convince Asher here to give the police department a chance." He smiles at me.
"Really?" Amelia says, a little shocked.
"It’s something I’m thinking about," I finally say.
"First, he has to decide if he wants to stay." Ethan cuts in and slaps my shoulder. "Then we can work on the second part."
"Decides to stay?" Amelia asks me, confusion in her voice, and I don’t make eye contact with her.
"I’ll see you tomorrow." I ignore her question, nodding as I wait for Amelia to walk out of the house. I hear her footsteps behind me, and I walk over to the truck, opening the door for her. She ignores me, reaching out her hand and pulling the door closed.
I look back at the house, seeing that Jacob and Kallie are standing on the porch watching us. I raise my hand to wave to them and walk around the truck, getting inside.
"You okay?" I ask, and she ignores me, looking out the window and waves to her parents as her face fills with a fake smile. I know it’s a fake smile because her eyes don’t crinkle at the sides, and her face doesn’t light up.
The drive back to her house is brutal, and I look over at her way too many times. Each time, she has her head turned to the side, fixated on looking out the window. She doesn’t even wait for me to put the truck in park before she is out.
Putting the truck in park, I get out and look up at the setting sun. I look at the house and then back at the truck. Get in the truck and leave, I tell myself. For you and for her.
My feet move toward the house. "I’ll just get my bags and leave," I tell myself. Opening the door, I walk into the cold house. My eyes look at the couch and find it empty. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, grabbing a water bottle. "You’re leaving?" I hear her voice and softly close the fridge door.
I look over as she stands there with her arms crossed over her chest. All the words that I have to say are stuck in my throat. "I haven’t decided yet" are the only words that come out as I watch her. My feet are glued to the floor instead of going over to her.
"You haven’t decided yet." Her voice goes louder. "You haven’t decided yet?" she repeats the words like she didn’t hear them.
"There are lots of things to process." My eyes never leave hers as she glares at me.
"A lot of things to process," she says. "Really?" Her sarcasm comes out, and I want to laugh at her. I also want to kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. Bury my hands into her hair and claim her mouth with mine. Take the kiss that has been haunting me since I stepped foot into this town.
"I’ve never stayed in one place longer than four months," I say.
"You’ve been here longer than that," she says, and I nod silently. "Why would you leave?"
"Why would I stay?" I ask, and she just looks at me, not saying a word. "Exactly." I push off the counter, walking over to my side of the house. "Anyway, it’s better to leave before we go past the point of no return."
