Feuds and Reckless Fury by K. Webster

 

Canyon

Idon’t understand.

I don’t fucking understand.

She’s my mom. Aimee Voss. Not some drug addict itching for her next fix. This doesn’t make sense. It’s a dream. Has to be. A goddamn nightmare. My mother didn’t OD on heroin. Didn’t happen. Nope.

The hospital waiting room blurs in front of me as a fresh wave of unshed tears fills my lids. They fall, streaking soundlessly down my hot cheeks, and dripping from my jaw, dotting my jeans with my disbelief and utter devastation.

She’ll live through this.

I know she will.

I’m too young to lose my mother. Just too damn young. I refuse to see any other outcome.

Despite our fathers sitting directly across from us, Alis reaches over, squeezing my thigh and rubbing his thumb over the tearstained denim. When he’d called on the way to the hospital, I couldn’t comprehend the words—my mom and heroin. Still doesn’t compute. But, here we are, waiting for answers hours later. The scent of antiseptic is thick in the air. A halogen light above us flickers and hums. Air kicks on, blowing a chilly breeze from the vent and cooling my wet cheeks.

It’s real.

I’m here. Hurting—fucking aching—because Mom screwed up. Big time.

Anger rears its ugly head, reminding me how she got to this point in the first place. Because of him. Dad. The motherfucker who left his wife to be with his gay best friend. He ruined her. Dad took the sweet, loving mother I always knew, carved out a piece of her soul, and left her as she is. Empty and barely there.

My venomous glare lifts, seeking out the man who destroyed everything. But, seeing my sister curled up in his lap like she’s five years old again is enough to snuff out my rage. If I wasn’t as big as my dad, hell, I’d feel inclined to want to crawl into his lap too.

I need reassurance.

That everything is going to be okay.

“I’m going to grab something to drink,” Alis says, giving my thigh another squeeze. “Why don’t you walk with me?”

I don’t want to go anywhere.

And yet, I need to escape.

The storm clouds brewing outside remind me of the hurricane of horrible thoughts slashing back and forth inside my head.

“We’ll call for you the minute we hear something,” Dad assures me, reading my silent fears.

“Yeah,” I croak out, dragging my gaze from the window. “Okay.”

Alis and I stand. His touch on the small of my back is gentle as he guides me away from the waiting area and down the hall toward the bank of vending and soda machines. I’m numb as we walk, my arms growing cold and feeling foreign as they dangle beside me. When we’re out of sight from the waiting area, Alis’s hand slides into my icy one, his fingers threading with mine. The warmth and comfort of something as simple as his hand have a sob lodging itself in my throat. A pained moan escapes me.

I’m cracking.

I can feel it happening one tiny fissure at a time. But they’re spreading and fracturing and splintering faster than I can stop them. The pain is going to spill out. It’ll leak out everywhere, drowning those around me.

Alis stops, pulling me into his strong arms. My forehead falls to his shoulder, and I angle my face against his neck, desperate for his touch. He squeezes me tight, murmuring soft words that are meant to soothe my battered soul. With our height difference, it’s awkward and feels like I should be the one holding him, but I’m too fragmented. If he lets go, I’ll break away until there’s nothing left of me.

His palm rubs up and down my back. I soak the collar of his T-shirt and the side of his neck with my silent tears. I don’t know what’ll happen to my mom, but I can’t live without her. We may have been on the outs, but it wasn’t forever.

“I knew something was wrong,” I choke out. “I should have…I should—”

“Don’t,” Alis says in a firm tone. “Don’t do that. This is out of your control. Please don’t take the blame for what happened.”

He pulls away, capturing my face in his hands. The fierce expression on his face makes me want to get lost in it, forgetting about the painful present. His mahogany eyes dart briefly down the hall before he presses a sweet kiss to my lips. It breathes life into my quickly dying heart.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he promises, kissing me again and again. “Trust me.”

How little Alister Sommers thinks he has control over my mother’s fate is beyond me, but oh how I crave to believe him. If Mom is okay, I will be okay.

“I’m scared.” My whispered words barely leave my mouth before he quiets me with a kiss.

“I know you are, Canny. I’m scared too.”

We hear footsteps squeaking nearby on the linoleum and reluctantly pull apart. He steps over to the vending machine while I swipe at my tears. A minute later, he hands me a Coke. A small smile tugs at my lips, and it’s contagious because he smiles too.

Guilt chases away the brief glimpse of happiness. Today is his birthday. It’s ruined because my mom overdosed on drugs. He should be enjoying his own birthday blowjob or eating cake or opening my gift. Not this. Not holding me up as I try desperately not to fall.

His intelligent stare cuts into me, probing and sure. I don’t have to voice my words because he somehow knows. He shakes his head and offers another smile.

“This is the most important thing right now,” he says, lifting a hand and swiping away another tear with his thumb. “Understood? This. You. Her. That’s all that matters.”

I nod, thankful as fuck he’s by my side. If I had to deal with this all alone, it’d eat me alive. Carrie has Dad. I would have had no one. Luckily, I have Alis.

“Canyon,” Quinn calls out, startling both me and Alis. He makes his way toward us. “There you are.”

Alis jerks back, absently picking at the label of his Coke bottle. “Any word, Dad?”

“The doctor is talking to Ryan and Carrie now.” He gestures toward the waiting room. “She’s alive.”

I nearly collapse, but Alis grips my bicep, hauling me back toward where Dad is. Dad and Carrie are both nodding like bobble heads as the doctor speaks. As soon as I join them, he circles back for me.

She’s alive.

She’ll be okay.

But…

“She has a long road to recovery ahead of her,” the doctor says with a worried frown. “It’d be in her best interest if she went to a rehab center. There’s only so much we can do in the ER. Make sure she’s stable and safe. The rest will be up to her and her family.”

“She’ll be taken care of,” Dad assures him. “I’ll make some calls in the morning.”

“Can we see her?” I ask, my voice husky and raw with emotion.

“Not tonight. It’s past visiting hours, and she’s sleeping. She’s already been moved to a room, though, so she’ll be able to get good rest for the night.”

“Thank you,” Dad says, shaking the doctor’s hand. “We’ll be back up here first thing in the morning.”

I don’t want to leave, but relief over her well-being floods through me, drowning me in sudden fatigue. I falter on my feet, and if it weren’t for Alis’s grip on my arm, I’d drop right to the floor.

“Come on,” Alis says. “Let’s go home.”

It’s nearly three in the morning by the time everyone goes to bed. Thunder rumbles close by, and the sky lights up in warning of an impending storm. Carrie is staying in the guest room downstairs until things get settled. I’m thankful Dad is taking care of her. Alis is taking care of me. The normally strong Voss kids aren’t so strong at all right now.

Once the lights go out in the house, and everyone is in bed, I drag my pillow into Alis’s room. We strip down to our underwear and climb into bed. I curl around him, needing his scent and touch consuming me. As soon as my bare skin presses against his, I’m not so sleepy anymore. The lightning outside flickers in through his window, highlighting his form every few seconds. His white-blond hair seems to illuminate as though he’s an ethereal night fae. I’m mesmerized by the pale curves of his shoulder and bicep. Gently, I stroke my finger over his flesh. His body shudders, and he sucks in a deep breath.

I want him.

No, I need him.

He must sense me before I pounce because he rolls onto his back as my body crashes against his. A whine escapes him, and I remember he’s still sore from getting his ass kicked. I’ll need to be gentler. My lips eagerly seek out his, hungry for his tongue and taste. A groan rumbles through me in unison with the thundering outside in the storm. I want to nip at his mouth all night long, grinding my cock against his because it feels good. Really fucking good. And after the day I’ve had, I’m craving something wonderful.

Like Wonderland.

“Alis,” I murmur against his lips. “I need inside you.”

He whimpers, lifting his hips to meet my anxious thrusts. “Yes.”

Not having to be told twice, I sit up on my knees. He turns onto his stomach and reaches into his bedside table. The lube gets tossed over to me. With eager hands, I yank off his red briefs and then slip out of my boxers. His pale ass almost glows in the moonlight as he humps the bed. I’m so fucking hard for him. My cock drips with sticky pre-cum, my need almost unbearable. Flipping off the cap on the lube, I douse my dick in lubricant and quickly slick up my shaft. He gasps when my slippery fingers find his crease. Easily, I find his puckered hole and push my fingertip inside of him.

“Ungh.” He shudders, pressing against my intrusion. “Canyon. Please.”

“Bare?”

“Fuck, yes.”

A smile twitches at my lips as I kneel between his thighs. He continues to hump the bed, his asshole squeezing my finger. Once I’ve inserted another and feel as though he’s ready, I pull them out. With one hand gripping my dick and the other on the bed, holding me up, I press the tip of my crown against his tight hole. A whine squeaks out of him as I slowly push into him.

Goddamn, he’s tight.

Stars glitter in the darkness as the pleasure of slowly sheathing myself inside him consumes me. He’s tense, clenching his ass cheeks together, which feels like fucking bliss.

Holy fuck.

I’m going to come.

I still my body, needing to get a hold of myself so I don’t come before my first real thrust. Once my crown fully breaches the constricted ring of muscles at his opening, his body sucks me inside. I fall against his back, sliding fully in quicker than I mean to.

“Ahh!” he cries out.

Again, I’m reminded of his sore ribs. Fuck. It’s difficult to be gentle when all I want to do is crush my body against his, melding us together as one. My heart is thundering in my chest, and our bodies are slick with sweat. I rock my hips, needing to feel more of his exquisite heat. The warring emotions from the day, anger and sadness, are slaughtered by pure want. Desire drives me to fuck into him hard and almost desperately.

But then I hear it, muffled beneath the loud thunder outside.

A whimper.

No, a sob.

The whole bed begins to tremble. Panic seizes me. I stroke my fingers through his hair and kiss the side of his neck, stalling my movement, though it feels impossible when I’m on the brink of bliss.

“Talk to me, Wonderland. Am I hurting you?”

He cries harder. As much as I’d love to continue to buck into him, I’m certainly not doing it when he cries. I slip out of him, but that only seems to make him really lose it.

“Shh, babe, Alis. Shh, talk to me. It’s okay. We don’t have to do this.”

I roll him onto his back, seeking out his lips so I can kiss him and make it all better. His bottom lip trembles as I gently suck on it, needing him to speak to me. Finally, he utters out words I’m not expecting to hear.

“This is my f-first t-time.”

My dick is throbbing angrily against his, but it wilts at his words. First time? But he said…

“Alister,” I growl, fury bleeding into my tone. “If I’d known…fuck!”

“No,” he chokes out. “I wanted it. I still want it. With you. Only you. I just…I didn’t.” Another sob. “It hurt.”

Because I shoved it in and started fucking him like an asshole.

“I’m so sorry,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Canny. Don’t. I just…I need to adjust. I still want it.” He pauses. “I should have told you. I let you believe I’d been with others like this, but I haven’t.”

The worry over him fades as possessiveness curls around a heart that’s so full of him these days, like thorny vines or barbed wire tightening and puncturing the bloody organ. Knowing we’re each other’s first male-on-male fuck settles something inside me. Something I didn’t realize was wrecked and lost. It grounds me. Gives me purpose. Strengthens me. Everything is fucked up in my life.

Not this.

Not him.

This is perfect and real and ours.

Forbidden, true, but sweet as fucking pie.

“Tell me when you’re ready, and we’ll try again,” I assure him. “Just like this. So I can kiss your pretty dick-sucking lips and look into your soul.”

The room lights up again, highlighting his face as if on cue. Rain is coming down in sheets outside, and the wind is fierce.

“Didn’t know football players were such poets,” he teases, his voice sounding more like his own, though still slightly wobbly.

“Ex-football player. And I’m a romantic now. I have a boyfriend.”

A small chuckle rumbles through him. “A boyfriend? Voss, I’m your brother. You’re so confused.”

I nip at his teasing mouth, earning a groan from him. We kiss eagerly until he’s ripping at my hair and begging me to put my dick inside him again. I finally put both of us out of our misery, easing my dick inside his clenching channel.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Wonderland?”

“Still good. Keep going.”

With the patience of a saint, I slide in at a snail’s pace until I’m fully seated in his perfect, tight body. Rather than moving, I take my time worshipping his lips and cheeks and jaw. Wherever I can rain kisses down on him, I do. I spoil him with tenderness until he’s begging for me to move. His ragged breath tickles my face, and his whimpers are so fucking lovely.

He cups my face with his hand and then slides his fingers into my hair. The grip on my hair tightens. His teeth nip at my lip, sparking a fire inside me. I pull out slightly before plunging deep again. With each probing thrust, he whines. The crying has faded, and the begging is now simply pure need. It urges me on, desperate to claim him—to spill my seed deep inside his gorgeous fucking body.

A hiss escapes him as heat gushes up between us. Knowing he’s found his release has me smiling. I drive into him over and over until the stars are back, blinding me with a kaleidoscope of never before felt pleasure. My balls draw up tight, and then my dick throbs out my orgasm. I breathe against his parted lips, marveling at how it feels to fill him up. It makes me want to fuck him like this over and over—to watch my cum try and escape his body, only for me to add more to it.

My world may be a mess, but with Alis, in this moment, it feels perfectly right.

“Canyon,” Alis murmurs. “That was…” He trails off, unable to find the right words.

Wonderful.

That was wonderful.

“I know,” I agree. “I can’t wait to do it again.”