Bound By Blood: Anthology by Cora Reilly

 

Gianna

The days seemed to stick together like glue, passing in excruciating slowness. I barely slept at night, my brain working in overdrive. I didn’t really feel pregnant and yet I felt different. Something was happening in my body that I had absolutely no control over. Matteo and I didn’t talk about the “p” or the “a” word. We tried to pretend everything was business as usual until the day arrived. A day supposed to relieve me of a burden that still felt a burden in itself.

We didn’t talk on our way to the clinic. Matteo wasn’t the quiet type and I wasn’t sure if he was silent for my sake or his. Matteo’s hand was firm around mine as we walked into the building and he didn’t release me when we settled on the uncomfortable chairs in the sterile waiting area of the clinic. We were alone in the clinic. Luca and Matteo had made sure no other patients would be around when I had my appointment. I knew Luca didn’t want word to get out about this. The Famiglia would be in uproar if people found out I’d gotten rid of a baby even though Matteo and I were married. I could guess the kind of speculations that would create. Was she pregnant with another man’s child? My reputation was still bad because of my escape all those years ago, and I doubted it would ever improve, but this could ruin me for good. I didn’t care. Not about my reputation, that is. I wasn’t sure what I felt anymore. The last few days had passed in a blur.

“Mrs. Vitiello, you can come in now,” a nurse said. Her voice was polite but her expression held tension and whenever her eyes darted to Matteo, even fear. I didn’t even want to know what Luca and Matteo had told the clinic staff to ensure their discretion.

Matteo rose and after a moment of hesitation, I did the same. Matteo’s hand around mine was warm and strong, and his face was reassuring. Again I tried to find his true feelings in his eyes but they were guarded in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time.

He led me toward the treatment room but I froze in the doorway, my eyes landing on the treatment chair I’d soon find myself in for the examination before the actual abortion. My chest clenched and I could barely breathe. Matteo peered at me, his brows drawing together. “Gianna?”

I swallowed and shook my head slowly. “I can’t,” I whispered.

The nurse stepped back to give us privacy. Matteo moved very close, shielding me from the room and its occupants, a doctor and another nurse, with his tall frame. “It’s okay. Whatever you do, it’ll be okay.”

I shook my head again. “I don’t want to be a mother. I don’t want a child.”

Matteo frowned. “Okay.”

“But I can’t do this. I can’t get rid of it.”

“Okay,” Matteo said again but I could tell that he was confused.

“I just can’t.” I knew I’d feel guilty because it wasn’t like money was a problem. We had enough money so a dozen nannies could raise the kid. Matteo’s and my life wouldn’t even change… but I knew that even that wasn’t an option. I was confused and overwhelmed. “I can’t,” I said again, taking a step back.

Matteo nodded. “All right. I’ll settle things with the doctors. Why don’t you wait in the car?”

He held out his keys and I took them, then turned and walked out of the clinic. My feet carried me on their own and finally I found myself in the car, on the driver’s seat. I felt like everything was shifting, as if the ground was being pulled from under my feet. I needed time to think about this, needed time to come to terms with the raging emotions inside of me. This was it. I’d grow a baby I didn’t even want.

I could barely see the street ahead of me through my tear-blurry vision. From the corner of my eye, I saw Matteo’s name flashing across my phone screen. I ignored it. I couldn’t talk to him right now. I wasn’t sure what to say when I barely knew what I felt. Despair and guilt were very high on the list, but so many more emotions battled for attention as well.

I wasn’t sure how long I drove around aimlessly until finally my tear-swollen eyes forced me to pull over. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d felt like this, the last time I’d cried this hard.

Eventually, I steered the car back to our apartment building. My legs shook like leaves in the wind as I staggered into our penthouse and sank down on the floor with my back against the wall.

Thirty minutes later, Luca of all people found me ugly crying in the same spot. Of course, he still had the security code.

I’d thought I’d gotten a grip on myself after the car ride but once I found myself back in our home, all walls broke down.

Luca’s gray eyes settled on me, his face impassive.

“What? No assholy comment?” I snapped, embarrassed that he saw me like this. Even in front of Aria and Matteo I hardly showed so much emotion.

“Matteo went insane with worry over you,” Luca said as he towered over me.

“I sent him a text message.” I wasn’t sure how coherent it had been but I had definitely showed him I was alive.

“I need time to think, that was supposed to set him at ease?” Luca muttered.

I shrugged and wrapped my arms tighter around my legs. A wave of nausea crept up but I forced it back. I wasn’t sure if it was the first signs of pregnancy or my inner turmoil.

Luca released a low breath. “You are not alone. You have Matteo. You have family, Gianna. We have your back.”

“I still don’t want to raise the kid. I don’t want to be a mother… but I just can’t get rid of it. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Aria suspected something like that.”

Of course, she did. Aria had a sixth sense when it came to me.

“But how can I give birth to a baby and then give it away?”

“You won’t give it away—”

I glared up at him but he continued, “Because Aria and I talked about it, and we’re going to adopt it.”

My eyes grew wide. “You… what?” I tried to understand what he was offering. “But you can’t even stand me.”

Luca and I got along better than in the past and I was fairly sure he liked me better than most of humankind, but in his case that didn’t mean much.

Luca let out a dark laugh. He crouched before me, still a fucking giant. “Aria and I will love that child as if it was our own. We will protect it and make sure it has everything it needs. It doesn’t even have to know that we aren’t its parents. If you and Matteo want to keep it a secret, the child won’t ever have to know it isn’t ours. I swear I’ll do everything in my power to protect your child, Gianna. I swear it’ll be safe and loved.” He touched his chest over his tattoo, and for a moment I considered hugging him. Luckily for both of us, he broke the moment and straightened to his full height.

It took a moment before I could speak. “You know, Luca, I like you more than I let on most of the time,” I said in a shaky voice.

Luca held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. “Same. When you don’t say anything annoying I find you more than tolerable,” he said dryly.

I choked on a laugh. “Why thank you. How often does that happen?”

He shrugged. “Once or twice per month.”

I laughed. Luca’s own mouth pulled into a smile but as quickly as it had come it disappeared. “Don’t do this again. Don’t ever run off like that. It’s also Matteo’s baby, Gianna, and the asshole loves you with all of his heart. If something happened to you, he’d lose it.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I was just overwhelmed. I never planned for any of this to happen.”

Luca nodded. “It’s what it is. You are pregnant and you’ll keep the kid, and you and Matteo will give it to Aria and me if you agree on it.”

“Does Matteo know what you just told me?”

“No, I haven’t talked to him about it yet. First you two will have to settle things between you.”

He was right. The elevator began moving and a minute later the doors slid open and Matteo stepped out. His hair was plastered to his head from his helmet and his eyes were wild. Luca stepped back from me and walked away but not before he touched Matteo’s shoulder briefly and they exchanged a look. He disappeared inside the elevator and left.

“Fuck, Gianna,” Matteo rasped as he stalked toward me and jerked me against him, then kissed me harshly, shoving me into the wall as he gripped my hips in a crushing hold.

He pulled away, breathing harshly. “You promised you’d never fucking run again.”

“I didn’t run,” I protested. “I needed time to myself to think this through. It’s a lot to stomach.”

“Not just for you,” Matteo said quietly.

Guilt filled me. I cupped his face. “I know. I’m sorry. I keep messing up. It’s in my nature. That’s why I shouldn’t become a mother.”

He released a breath. “Don’t say that. We’ll figure this out. Together.”

“Together,” I agreed. I kissed him again, then pulled back. “Luca offered that he and Aria adopt our baby.”

Matteo took a step back, but didn’t let go of me. “He did?”

I nodded. “What do you think?”

Matteo frowned. “I don’t know. Do you think you can see the child every day and have it call someone else Mom?”

I wasn’t sure. “But it’s a good option.”

“Yeah. The child needs protection, and Luca and Aria are amazing parents.”

“They are,” I agreed softly and searched Matteo’s eyes for a hint to his true feelings. “Will you be okay with it? With Luca acting as the baby’s father and not you?”

Matteo glanced to the side, his brows drawing together. “How should I know?”

Yes, how? How should either of us know how we’d deal with this pregnancy and with the aftermath? “We’ll figure it out,” I murmured.

Matteo kissed me again. “We will.”

I linked our fingers. In the last thirteen years we’d gone through so much, nothing as challenging as this would be, but with Matteo at my side, everything would be fine.

Matteo

When I woke the morning after the canceled appointment, I was alone in bed. Immediately my heart rate picked up, worrying that Gianna had gone off on her own again. Yesterday I’d almost gone crazy.

I shoved out of bed and rushed down the staircase to the living area but slowed when I spotted Gianna sitting in a lounge chair on the roof terrace. I headed for the glass door and slid it open. Despite the early morning, the humid heat settled like grease on my skin.

Gianna turned her head, looking my way. She was still without makeup and her eyes were puffy from crying yesterday. “Hey,” she murmured.

“Hey.” I went over to her and Gianna made room on the chair for me, so I could squeeze in and fold her into my arms. Gianna sank into me at once, which wasn’t like her.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good,” she said then amended. “Better than yesterday anyway. I thought about Luca’s offer all night and about what it would mean for us… and I think it’s the best possible solution for everyone.”

I stroked her bare arm. “Aria and Luca will take great care of it, and we’ll get to watch it grow up.”

Gianna’s brows furrowed. “Yeah.” She searched my eyes.

“If you’re absolutely sure, we should tell Aria and Luca so they can prepare for the new situation,” I said.

“Are you sure?”

“Like you said it’s the best solution for everyone,” I said. I wasn’t sure how things would change once the baby was there and I had to watch Luca be its dad. I couldn’t really imagine myself as a father either, though. I liked the general idea of being a dad. The fun things, but just from watching Luca and Aria I knew there were plenty of hard moments as well.

“Okay, then I’ll call Aria.”

“I have a meeting with Luca today anyway. I’ll have a talk with him then as well.”

Gianna stayed in my arms for a few more heartbeats before she pulled away and stood to grab her phone from the kitchen counter. I headed over to the railing and let my gaze wander over New York. We’d said yes to the baby, but at the same time no. I was relieved but at the same time worried.

Luca and I met in his office in the Sphere to discuss a few alarming developments with the Tartarus MC. Since Luca had annihilated their chapter in New Jersey they had laid low for years but now some of the other chapters, especially their mother chapter in Texas, had sent out scouts into the area.

Luca suspected they were rebuilding a New York and New Jersey chapter. Right now they were still a scattered assortment of drunkards and idiots.

I took off my helmet as I strolled through the bar area toward the hidden backrooms. Luca sat behind his desk chair, his open laptop in front of him. He closed it the moment I entered.

“Any new developments?” I asked.

Luca narrowed his eyes. “Business can wait.”

I sighed and plopped down in one of the comfortable leather chairs.

“Gianna told Aria this morning that you two decided to give us the baby.”

Give them the baby. It sounded like handing over car keys. I nodded. “It’s the best possible solution for everyone.”

Luca sat back in his chair, watching me with his annoying scrutiny. “All right. You realize that while we take the baby off your hands, Aria and I can’t spare you the pregnancy. That’s for you and Gianna to handle, and it comes with responsibility.”

Was he trying to piss me off on purpose? “We know that, don’t worry.”

“No alcohol, no sushi, less caffeine…”

“I get it, Luca. And trust me, Gianna gets it too.”

Luca shrugged. “You don’t want your lives to change but they will, at least in the next eight months. After that, you can have your old life back and Aria and I will take over.”

“Can we talk about business now? The more you talk the more I feel like skinning someone, and I have a feeling a few fuckers from Tartarus might just be the balm for my bloodthirst.”

Luca sighed but he nodded. “Aria invited Gianna and you over for dinner tonight. Your wife agreed, so be there at six.”

I stifled a groan.

When I returned home in the late afternoon, Gianna was already downstairs, perching on a barstool at the kitchen counter. She drank coffee and was reading a yoga magazine. In her tight black jean shorts and black wife beater she looked like the Gianna I knew. Tough and hot as hell. She slanted me a look. Her makeup covered up the last traces of yesterday’s tears. My eyes darted down to her flat belly. It seemed unreal that she was really pregnant, that something as monumental as a baby in her belly wasn’t yet visible for the eye.

She raised her cup. “Decaf, in case you’re wondering.”

“Did Luca give you a lecture of all the things you’re prohibited from consuming and doing?” I asked wryly as I strolled over to her and kissed her full lips.

She grimaced. “No. But Aria bridged the subject in a subtle but unmistakable way. As if I’d just keep drinking alcohol and espressos. I’ll make sure it’s safe until it’s in their hands.” She shook her head.

“Do you want to cancel the dinner with them?”

Gianna considered that. “No, I’m really grateful for what they’re doing.”

“Me too,” I said. “How was yoga today?”

“Great. I could blank out everything for a little while. Luckily I can keep working out during the pregnancy. I just need to tone it down slightly.”

I squeezed her hip. “See. This pregnancy will be over before you know it and then we can party the night away again.”

“Yeah,” Gianna said with a sigh. Her voice mirrored a deep longing I felt as well. Problem was, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was longing for.

Liliana and Romero had agreed to watch Marcella and Amo while we had dinner. Luca and Aria obviously didn’t want their kids to overhear anything about the new addition to their family, which was probably for the best.

We were halfway through dinner, when Aria spoke up, “Oh, I made an appointment with my OB/GYN next week for a checkup. You’ll be in your seventh week then so she should be able to see the heart beating.”

Gianna didn’t look surprised, so they must have discussed the matter before. I was stunned. “You’ll have an ultrasound?”

“I suppose so?” Gianna said, turning to Aria who nodded.

“That’s good,” I said. “You’ll accompany Gianna?”

“Yes,” Aria said hesitantly. “If that’s okay for you?”

“Of course.”

It wasn’t that I was keen on going to the appointment but the knowledge that any step of the kid’s development wasn’t really my business felt strange.

“We need to discuss the matter of hiding the pregnancy,” Luca said unceremoniously. “The child doesn’t need to grow up surrounded by nasty rumors. We need to make the public believe it’s Aria’s and mine.”

“You are right,” Gianna said. “When did you show?”

Aria pursed her lips. “At twenty weeks it was difficult to hide with Amo. But that’s because it was my second pregnancy. You’ll be pregnant in winter so coats and sweaters can cover up a lot. But your workout clothes won’t be able to hide a bump.”

Gianna nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

Aria exchanged a look with Luca. “How about we take it as we go? You keep on giving yoga and Pilates lessons for as long as loose shirts hide the bump, and wear loose clothes as much as possible. I’ll start doing the same. I can’t really wear a tight dress to our Christmas party when you are in your fifth or sixth month then, and would show.”

“I’d have never thought pregnancy means so much logistics,” I joked.

“It usually doesn’t,” Luca muttered.

“Well, Aria has experience hiding a pregnancy so I have faith we can keep it a secret,” I said, not able to hold back the jibe.

Luca’s eyes flashed, remembering the difficult beginning of Aria’s pregnancy with Marcella.

Aria sent Luca a warning look while Gianna did the same with me.

“We’ll get through this together as a family,” Aria said firmly.

“When should we tell Lily and Romero?” Gianna asked to change the topic. Clever girl.

“That’s really up to you. You could wait until you both are past the first twelve weeks…”

“Yeah. I hope she won’t be disappointed we didn’t confide in her before,” Gianna said.

“She’ll understand,” Aria assured her.

“Will we tell anyone else?”

Luca shook his head. “I don’t see why. Every person we involve is a risk.”

A risk to the biggest secret of all of our lives.