Bound By Blood: Anthology by Cora Reilly

 

Gianna

When I’d thought I was scared in the hospital, it was nothing in comparison to the terror I felt when we headed home with Isabella two days after I’d given birth. Matteo drove while I sat with our daughter in the back. She wasn’t too fond of the motion and wailed as if someone was poking her with a hot knife. I tried to distract and soothe her but nothing worked and her face was turning increasingly red.

“Do you want me to pull over?” Matteo asked.

“No,” I said quickly. “Just get us home as quickly as possible.”

I waved a rattle in front of Isa’s face but she ignored it, her tiny face scrunched up. My stomach tied itself in knots and when we finally pulled into our underground garage, I was close to a nervous breakdown.

I got out of the car, taking a few deep breaths. Matteo joined me, touching my back with a concerned look.

“I’m fine,” I said quickly and walked around the car to get Isa out of her seat.

The moment I held her in my arms, she settled down, and the red color of her cheeks slowly vanished in favor of her usual rosy complexion. Matteo grabbed our bags from the trunk but he kept an eye on us.

We headed for the elevator and when the doors closed, and I stared at our reflections in the wall mirrors, it really sunk in. Matteo and I leaned against the wall as I cradled Isa in my arm. My hair was in a messy bun and I wasn’t wearing any makeup. In my yoga pants and sweater, I looked as if I were on my way to the gym but that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Now, Isa would be constantly attached to me, a little shadow I carried more responsibility for than I ever wanted.

Matteo met my gaze in the mirror. “I like seeing you like this.”

“A mess?”

“With our daughter.”

“We’ll see how long that’ll last,” I muttered, my hormones wreaking havoc inside of me once more.

Matteo wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I meant it when I said we’re in this together. Eventually that has to sink into your stubborn head as well.”

I shrugged, but leaned my head against Matteo’s shoulder. He had been my rock so far and I had absolutely no reason to complain.

The elevator stopped at our penthouse and we got out. Being back in our home, a place that still looked like it had before I’d given birth felt strange—like a relic from another time. There wasn’t any baby stuff anywhere. All of it was hidden in the nursery.

Every step hurt and it would take a while for me to heal. Carrying Isa wasn’t helping. Matteo gently pried her off me and held her in his arms. She was starting to wake, probably because she was hungry. I settled on the couch with a soft sigh. The way I felt one might think I’d never worked out in my life. When Isa began to wail, Matteo handed her to me for nursing while he took our bags upstairs.

I stroked Isa’s head and back as she drank. I was slowly falling in love with her, but the full-blown love some mothers described still wasn’t something I could understand.

Matteo sauntered down the staircase, looking relaxed and at ease, as if this, us being a family of three, was something he’d been born for. I’d probably always been the driving force behind not having kids, but Matteo had always only seen the fun aspects. Still, he seemed to enjoy the hard first days as well.

“How about I cook something for us?”

My eyebrows shot up. Matteo had many talents but cooking wasn’t one of them. “How about you order us something delicious?”

He touched his heart as if I’d wounded him deeply. “I’m trying to be a good supportive houseman and you shoot me down like that.”

“I’m very hungry and would rather not watch your three failed cooking attempts before you’ll order something. Let’s just skip ahead.” I gave him a tired smile, which probably looked more like a grimace than anything else but I was trying to soften my words.

“All right. What would my lady like to eat?” Matteo asked, grabbing the phone and heading toward me.

“Something with plenty of carbs.”

Matteo’s eyes crinkled with amusement. “Carbs it is, all right. I’d say we can’t go wrong with the classic choice.”

I raised my eyebrows. Isa made a gurgling sound.

“Is it bad that I’m a bit jealous of her for having your tits all for herself?”

I cringed but then I shrugged. “To be honest, you’ve said worse.”

Matteo chuckled. “Right. So pizza?”

“Pizza.”

Twenty minutes later, Isa was fed, changed twice (her diaper exploded a second after we’d changed her) and slept soundly in her crib, which Matteo had carried downstairs so we’d have her close by. Two pizza cartons sat on the living room table, waiting for us. We settled on the couch and dug in.

“I can’t remember the last time we had pizza on the couch. You hated the couch-potato life.”

“I did, and still do, but right this moment I’m too tired to consider my life choices.”

Matteo grinned and I knew he’d say something stupid. “If I’d known how docile you’d be after giving birth, I’d have knocked you up sooner.”

I slapped his shoulder, then settled against him with a piece of pizza. “Shut up. I’ll make your life hell soon enough again.”

Matteo kissed the side of my head. “I know, babe, I know.”

The days and nights that followed our homecoming were filled with vomit, poo, and screaming. Most days I wasn’t even sure what time of the day it was. Finding any sort of routine proved difficult. Aria came over almost every day as mental support.

I hadn’t left the apartment in a week and barely changed out of my sweats, but on day seven we decided to brave the outside world and pay a visit to Lily and Romero. Like last time, Isa wasn’t too fond of the car but she settled down after a while.

Matteo and I drove to Romero’s and Lily’s house in Greenwich Village, a narrow brownstone building with an even narrower back yard, but the homiest, coziest place I could imagine. While Aria and I kept our places straight and more focused on modern design, Lily had gone all out with decoration, turning every room into a country-style dream. Matteo carried Isabella in her carrier while I followed slowly. I still felt unsteady on my legs, as if I had to find my balance again after my belly had practically disappeared overnight.

Romero opened the door for us with Sara perched on his arm. The little girl beamed all over her face. Her brown hair was styled in side pigtails which gave her an even cuter appearance. I’d never seen a happier, more easygoing child than her. I had a feeling Isabella would be a little piece of work.

He and Lily hadn’t visited us in the hospital or in the week since then, which wasn’t surprising considering they had their own little newborn to care for.

Romero hugged me carefully. “How are you feeling?”

I kissed Sara’s cheek then gave him a wry smile. “As if someone sent my lower parts through a wringer.”

He chuckled, his eyes crinkling. Then he bent over Isabella’s carrier. She was fast asleep. After her initial crying fit in the car, she’d fallen asleep.

“She’s beautiful.”

Sara’s eyes were wide and curious. “Favio,” she said in her cute toddler voice.

Romero laughed. “No, this isn’t Flavio. He’s with your mom. This is Isabella, Gianna’s baby.”

Gianna’s baby, the words still made me pause. Matteo winked at me, probably because I’d made a funny face.

“How did the whole house birthing thing go?” Matteo asked.

“Good,” Romero said. “Lily was very happy with it and that’s all that matters.”

Happy wasn’t a word I’d use to describe my birthing story but maybe I was just my usual bitchy self.

“Lily’s in the living room.”

I walked inside their house and found Lily on the sofa with little Flavio asleep on her. She didn’t wear makeup and her hair was pulled up in a messy bun that I was all too familiar with.

“Hey,” I said quietly, hoping not to wake Flavio. Isabella luckily didn’t mind the occasional background noise but I wasn’t sure if that was a baby thing or just an Isabella thing.

Lily gave me a tired smile. I leaned down and hugged her carefully. Flavio was bigger than Isabella and I wondered how Lily could have done the home birth. “You’re brave, squeezing him out of you at home.”

Lily peered down at him. “It was really peaceful. Maybe because it was my second child. And you did a car seat birth, Gianna. That’s brave.”

“It wasn’t planned.”

“Where is she?” Lily asked curiously, peering behind me.

“Oh, Matteo is carrying her because I still have trouble lifting her with the carrier. I’m sure he’ll bring her here as soon as he’s done chatting with Romero.”

Lily gave me a surprised look. “You don’t mind her being out of your sight? So shortly after birth, I can hardly stay away to go to the bathroom.”

I glanced toward the doorway where the low murmur of male voices could still be heard, wondering if I was being a bad mother because I had no trouble leaving her with Matteo. It wasn’t as if I was gone for hours, or even far away.

Lily touched my hand, tugging me down beside her. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Mom guilt is the worst feeling in the world. I’m just being very clingy to the point where even Romero is hardly allowed to hold Flavio. My hormones are really bad this time.”

“I guess it was love at first sight for you?”

Lily pursed her lips, stroking Flavio’s dark hair. “No, it wasn’t. Not with Sara and not with Flavio either. It’s… I don’t know. Responsibility and protectiveness at first but in the days after birth, as we’re getting to know each other, it grows quickly to love.”

Matteo finally entered the living room with Isabella in her carrier. He set her down on the floor next to me and bent over Flavio. “Looks like Romero.”

Lily grinned. “He does.”

Sara ran into the room and climbed up beside Lily, leaning her head against her arm to peer at her brother.

“Romero and I want to take a look at his old Chevy,” Matteo said as a way of goodbye before he disappeared from view.

“He bought a classic car that he wants to restore,” Lily said with a shrug before she turned to Sara who was tugging at her hand. “Can we play?”

Lily bit her lip. “Not now, Sara. Your brother is sleeping. But later Mommy will make some time.”

“Okay,” Sara said, pouting.

“Why don’t you grab a book that I can read to you?” I asked.

Sara’s face lit up and she darted away, probably to her room.

“That’s my number one mom guilt point right now,” Lily admitted. “Sara wants even more attention than before but I don’t have as much time.”

“I’d have never thought you’d suffer from mom guilt at all. You seem like the perfect mother.”

Lily gave me a disbelieving look. “I doubt there’s a perfect mother.”

Isabella began to squirm and her eyes fluttered open, soon followed by the first mewls and hesitant cries. I picked her up, pressed her against my chest and kissed her temple. She smelled so impossibly good, even though I couldn’t even define the scent.

“What’s up, Isa? Hungry again?”

She peered up at me. Her eyes were still that strange murky blue and I wondered if they’d darken or turn lighter. I grabbed her small blanket, draped it over me and started nursing her. At night Matteo and I both fed her. Luckily she took both the bottle and my breast, making our life so much easier.

When I looked up, Lily was smiling emotionally, her eyes glistening.

“Don’t tell me seeing me as a milk source makes you want to cry?” I asked with a soft laugh.

Lily shrugged. “It does. I never thought you and I would ever sit on a sofa with our babies together.”

“Me neither, trust me. This wasn’t part of the plan.”

“But you’re happy?”

I listened to Isa’s smacking, trying to determine my feelings. “I’m not unhappy. I love her and would never give her away. She’s mine, but it’s not my dream life. I miss working out, I miss working, and drinking a glass of wine and dancing and… sex.”

Lily laughed. “Sex is the farthest thing on my mind right now.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m close to being in the mood right now. I’d probably strangle Matteo if he made a move right now, but still.”

“Life changes with kids, but you’ll discover new things, and raising a baby doesn’t mean you won’t still have time to do the things you love. It just requires more planning. Give it time.”

Give it time was advice Aria had given me repeatedly. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the most patient person but since becoming pregnant I’d learned patience.

Lily watched me nurse Isa for a while before saying, “I really love seeing you like this.”

I gave Lily a tired smile. “Don’t get used to it. After Isa, we’ll make sure there won’t be another one.”

Lily laughed. “I wouldn’t mind four or five of these little ones.”

My eyes grew wide. “Good luck with that.”

Matteo

“So, how do you feel as a first-time dad?” Romero asked me as he led me into the garage.

I let out a low whistle when I spotted his new car, an ancient Chevrolet that would need plenty of attention before it could grace the road with its presence.

“I don’t really feel different, just like old Matteo with more responsibility.”

Romero chuckled. “Holding your child for the first time and realizing you’re responsible for their upbringing makes you grow up in seconds.”

“You were always the responsible type. And I don’t really feel any more grown-up or sensible than before.”

Romero opened the car, showing me the barren inside. No seats or steering wheel.

“I hope you got this as a gift.” I’d never been a fan of vintage cars. I loved to have the newest gimmicks.

“This is a rare piece. I would have paid double just to get my hands on it.”

“So you think you still have time for such a big project besides work, two kids, and a wife?”

Romero shrugged. “I sleep less and I don’t party anymore. The time I wasted on nursing hangovers in the past is now dedicated to other things.”

“Could you sound any more straitlaced?”

“After all the shit we see and do in our job, I enjoy the boring, ordinary side of my home life.”

I shook my head. “Speak for yourself. I still love the thrill.” My phone rang and Luca’s name flashed across the screen. I took the call.

“We got our hands on two new recruits from Tartarus. I thought I’d ask if you feel like getting your hands dirty.”

My smile widened. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Maybe you’re still stuck in the baby bubble. Don’t want Gianna to get her panties in a bunch.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there in a bit. Where?”

“Warehouse 2.”

I hung up.

Romero scanned my face. “That’s your torture prelude face.”

“Luca got a job for me. You interested in getting your hands on some bikers?”

“I have to pay a visit to one of our bars. And you probably need me to take Gianna home later, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, probably. I’ll see what she says.”

I headed back into the house. Lily and Gianna were still on the couch, drinking coffee. Isa slept beside Gianna, her arms stretched out over her head. Gianna looked up, scanning my face with narrowed eyes. “What’s up?”

“Luca called and asked if I could help him.”

“From the eager look in your eyes, I’m guessing it involves plenty of blood.”

“It might.” It most definitely would. I hadn’t been involved in the business for almost two weeks and felt itchy to return.

Gianna shrugged, touching Isa’s chest lightly. “We’re good here. I’m sure Romero will give me a lift later. Go have fun.”

I leaned down and gave her a lingering kiss. I waved at Liliana, then said a quick goodbye to Romero before I raced off in my car. My pulse began to quicken. For some reason this felt like the beginning, when the prospect of torture and danger still kept my blood pounding for a long time.

When I pulled up in front of our warehouse, I was whistling and eager like a teenage boy before his first fuck.

Luca shook his head when I strode into the warehouse. “You look like you might be peeing yourself from excitement.” He clapped my shoulder. “That bad at home? I thought you and Gianna were starting to find a routine with Isabella.”

“We are. That’s not it. I just missed this… being responsible twenty-four seven is hard. I’m just looking forward to a taste of my old life.”

Luca chuckled. “Knock yourself out. These bikers think they are tough.” He motioned toward the back of the warehouse and walked ahead. Behind heaps of old tires, two guys, maybe in their early twenties, were bound to chairs. Someone had roughened them up a bit; busted lips, a few scratches here and there, and already forming bruises. Nothing major. Not yet.

I gave them a grin and pulled my knife from its holster.

Growl leaned against the bare stone wall to my left, inked arms crossed and that stoic expression on his face that belied his violent nature. He nodded my way and I returned the gesture but quickly focused my attention back to our two captives.

One look at them told me they weren’t the sharpest knives in the cupboard. That wasn’t a surprise. The MCs often scraped their recruits from the bottom of society.

I doubted these guys knew anything of worth about the men we really wanted to have intel on: Earl White and his nephew Maddox. But cutting them up and sending them back to the bikers sent them a message even those redneck idiots must understand at some point.

Luca leaned against the wall beside Growl. I wouldn’t argue if they wanted me to do all the work. I couldn’t wait.

I chose the bulkier, braver looking first. Usually I kept the hard nuts for last, but I was too eager to prolong the fun.

It was early evening when I came back home. I hadn’t stayed longer than necessary, not wanting to abandon Gianna. The penthouse was quiet and the lights were out. I set the takeout bags down on the kitchen counter and went in search of my wife and daughter.

Wife and daughter…

Who would have thought I’d ever have a small family?

Following a dim light into the bedroom, I found Gianna. She was curled up on her side on top of the covers in our bed, fast asleep. Isa was stretched out beside her, protected by Gianna’s body and a pillow. I walked over to them, and as if she could sense me, Isa opened her eyes and began squirming. Careful to be quiet, I picked her up and cradled her in my arms. I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

Dealing with the bikers had been fun, something I couldn’t live without, but returning home to Isa and Gianna, it was the peaceful harbor I now craved in a way I’d have never thought possible. I’d always made fun of Luca for his split personality: the loving father and husband, and the batshit crazy, brutal Capo, but I got it now.

Gianna stirred, rolling over onto her back and eyes fluttering open. She was in my sweats and T-shirt, looking completely disheveled. Slowly her gaze focused on me. “What time is it?”

“Almost eight,” I said. “I got sushi for us.”

She sat up. “You’re early. I thought you’d use your chance to have some freedom.”

She pushed to her feet with a groan. “Fuck, I feel old.”

I grinned. “I’m glad I won’t be the only one teaching Isa curse words.”

Gianna huffed and leaned against me. I bent down and kissed her but Isa interrupted us with a wail. “I think she’s hungry too. I’ll nurse her and then we can have sushi.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I handed Isa to Gianna before I headed back downstairs and set up the coffee table. Thirty minutes later Gianna came downstairs, dressed in shorts and a tank. Her belly was still slightly curved but she still looked sexy to me.

She sank down on the couch beside me. “You got me Kombucha?”

“Yep, your favorite brand.”

Gianna took a sip before she started digging in. After we were done, Gianna settled in my arm on the couch and we watched Walking Dead. I still didn’t understand why she had no trouble watching it considering her aversion to bloodshed. Judging by the silence of the baby monitor, Isa was soundly asleep.

I stroked Gianna’s thigh. We hadn’t shared any kind of intimacy in four weeks and I was slowly starting to get horny. Gianna hadn’t made a move yet, which was unusual. In the past, she’d been a very active partner, but of course I remembered Luca’s words.

She gave me a disbelieving look. “I don’t even remember the last time I shaved.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll find what I’m looking for.”

She let out an exasperated laugh. “You’re impossible.”

I shrugged. “I’m horny. You know how much you turn me on.”

Gianna searched my face. “I can’t believe I still turn you on. I definitely don’t feel sexy.”

“You’re always sexy to me. What about you? Are you in the mood for a little loving?”

Gianna grimaced. “My mind says yes, but every exhausted and healing part of my body says no.”

I kissed her temple and leaned back. “Whenever you feel ready, I’m here, waiting for you.”

Gianna relaxed back into my arm with a smile. “Sometimes I wish I could tell seventeen-year-old Gianna that you’re not as bad as she thinks.”

“Not as bad? That’s all you’d tell her?”

She nicked the skin at my neck. “Oh no, I’d tell her how amazing in bed you are, with your tongue and your cock and your fingers and every other part of your body as well.”

I groaned. “You’re torturing me.”

“It’s something we’re both good at.”

“You’re better at it, babe, much better.”