Fragile Longing by Cora Reilly

“I can’t marry you.”

My fiancée’s words echoed in my head. Peering down at the engagement ring she’d given back to me, I tried to pinpoint my emotions—a potent mixture of fury and shock. The ring mocked me where it lay in my palm. Serafina had hardly been able to stand my closeness when she’d uttered those words.

I’d known Serafina for as long as I could remember. Long before I’d met her, her name had been whispered reverently among the boys and even the men in our circles.

The regal ice princess’s beauty featured in many fantasies.

Like magpies drawn in by a shiny object, many wanted to possess her. When she’d been promised to me at the age of fifteen, I’d reveled in the admiration and jealousy of my fellow Made Men. I’d won the sought-after prize and could call her mine.

For years, I’d counted the days to our wedding.

Everything had seemed to be working in my favor. I had been about to become the youngest underboss of the Outfit with the Capo’s niece, the ice princess, as my wife. I’d felt invincible.

Many consider arrogance and pride a sin, and I was punished harshly for those qualities.

Days before I was supposed to take over from my father as Underboss, my little sister Emma was in a car accident. Now, she was trapped in a wheelchair with no future ahead of her. The mafia world wasn’t kind. Girls and women who had obvious flaws were cast aside and deemed unworthy, doomed to a life in the shadows either as spinsters or stuck in a marriage with the first scum who accepted them.

On the day of our wedding, Serafina was stolen from me, kidnapped by our cruelest enemy: the Camorra of Las Vegas.

When their Capo sent her back to us, she wasn’t the same girl I’d known. She was lost to me, broken, and I couldn’t fix her.

My meticulously planned future was in shambles. I was left with a disabled, heartbroken sister and a dying father. Left without a wife.

I closed my eyes after ending the call with my father. He insisted that we needed to demand a bond with Cavallaro’s family. He wanted the connection to the Capo, and though I agreed, moving on from Serafina so soon after losing her cut me like an acid blade.

Life had to go on, though, and I had to appear strong. I was young. Many expected me to fail at the task of ruling over Indianapolis. They were waiting for that moment, for my fall from grace. I curled my fingers into a fist around the ring and went in search of my Capo and Serafina’s father.

Ten minutes later, Serafina’s father Pietro Mione, her brother Samuel, and our Capo Dante Cavallaro met with me in the office of the Mione mansion to settle the matter of the broken wedding bond. The matter would cause a riptide of rumors regardless of what we decided today. It was too late for damage control.

I released a sigh. “My father insists that I marry someone from your family,” I said emotionlessly, even as my insides burned with rage and guilt. “A bond between our families is necessary, especially at this time.”

Pietro sighed and slumped in his chair. Samuel shook his head and glared at me. “Serafina won’t marry. She needs time to heal.”

I’d have given her the time she needed like I’d told her, but she didn’t want to marry me anymore.

“There are other options,” Dante drawled.

The rage that burned inside me spilled free. “What options? I won’t accept the daughter of any other Underboss. My city is important. I won’t settle for less than was promised!”

More than that, I didn’t want to return to my dying father and already-grieving mother to tell them about yet another blow for our family. We’d gone through enough. They had all gone through enough. It was up to me to protect them.

Dante scowled. “Watch your tone, Danilo. I realize this is a difficult situation, but I expect respect nonetheless.”

Samuel looked as if he wanted to attack me. “You can’t have Fina!”

“You can’t have Anna, either,” Dante said.

I’d never considered his daughter as an option. If I married her, it would only cause me problems. I doubted Dante wouldn’t shove his nose into my business if it concerned his offspring. “You need my support in this war. You need a strong family at your back.”

“Is that a threat?”

“That’s a fact, Dante. I think you’re a good Capo, but I insist I get what my family deserves. I won’t settle for less.”

“I won’t force Fina into a marriage, not after what she went through,” Pietro said.

Dante nodded. “I agree.”

I understood their reasoning. Serafina didn’t want to marry me, and I wouldn’t force her into a bond when she’d already suffered a loss of control recently. “We’re at an impasse, then.”

There was only one option. It was one I wished to avoid but couldn’t. Father had immediately suggested my ex-fiancée’s younger sister as a substitute. A ridiculous idea, but the only viable option.

Dante and Pietro looked at each other, probably considering exactly that option.

Pietro closed his eyes. “Is that what you ask of me, Dante?”

“Pietro, if we follow the rules, Danilo could demand to marry Serafina. They were engaged.”

I waited for them to settle whatever they had to. There was only one solution to our problem.

When Pietro opened his eyes, they were hard, full of warning. “I will give you Sofia.”

My father had been right.

Sofia. She was a child. Ten years younger than me. I’d never even spared her a glance. “She’s what, eleven?” Even though it was the only option, a new wave of anger rose in me. Anger for the situation and absolute rage toward Remo Falcone.

“Twelve in April,” Samuel corrected, scowling at me. His hands were curled into fists, but I had a feeling his anger wasn’t directed only at me.

“I’m ten years older than her. I was promised a wife now.”

“You’ll be busy with this war and establishing your reign over Indianapolis. A later wedding would be advantageous,” Dante said.

Ten fucking years younger than me. I couldn’t even think of her as a woman, let alone as my future wife. Just trying to imagine Sofia as a grownup made me feel like a fucking pervert. Serafina hadn’t been that much older when she’d been promised to me, but we were close in age. I’d wanted her even back then because she was the ice princess, because she was so beautiful that everyone wanted her.

I couldn’t imagine wanting Sofia like that, couldn’t imagine wanting her at all. She was a child. She wasn’t Serafina.

I was going to kill Remo Falcone for stealing my fiancée, for breaking her in ways that made it impossible for her to marry me. I was going to destroy everything that mattered to him. I wouldn’t rest until I’d ruined his life like he had ruined mine.

“Danilo?” Dante asked carefully, and I realized I’d zoned out.

It didn’t matter what I wanted. This bond would save Emma. That was all I could hope for at this point.

“I have one condition.”

“What condition?” Dante’s voice was clipped. His patience was running dry. These last few months had tested us all.

My eyes slanted to Samuel. He was watching me with narrowed eyes. Did I trust him with my sister? More than any of the other prospects. Father would marry Emma off at some point, and nobody of worth wanted her. She’d be cast off to someone who hoped to improve his position, someone who didn’t deserve her.

“He marries my sister Emma,” I said.

Samuel’s face twisted with shock. “She’s in a—”

He stopped short. Good for him because I wanted to kill him.

“In a wheelchair, yes. Which is why nobody of worth wants her. My sister deserves only the best, and you are the heir to the Minneapolis Outfit. If you all want this bond, Samuel will marry my sister, then I’ll marry Sofia.”

“Fuck,” Samuel muttered. “What kind of twisted deal is that?”

“Why? Your father has been testing the waters for possible brides, and my sister is a Mancini. She’s a good match.”

Samuel took a deep breath before nodding. “I’ll marry your sister.”

I bared my teeth at his tone.

“Then it’s settled?” Pietro asked. “You’ll marry Sofia and accept the cancelation of the engagement with Fina?”

I gave a sharp nod. “It’s not what I want, but it’ll have to do.”

“It’ll have to do?” Samuel growled, stepping forward with narrowed eyes. “That’s my baby sister you’re talking about. She’s not some fucking thing you accept as a consolation prize.”

But she was the consolation prize. We all knew it. I laughed bitterly. “You might want to remember that as well when you meet my sister.”

“Enough,” Dante growled.

“The wedding will have to wait until Sofia is of age,” Pietro said in a tired voice.

Did he think I wanted a child bride? “Of course. My sister won’t marry before her eighteenth birthday, either.”

Six long years. It would give me more time to stabilize my rule over Indianapolis, which was the one thing I’d hated about marrying Serafina, but I’d wanted her and she couldn’t wait too long. But now, now I’d have plenty of time to strengthen my reign, to enjoy myself some more—that’s how Father put it. Six years was a long time. So much could happen before then. I wouldn’t lose another girl. I’d make sure Sofia was safe, safer than Serafina had been.

Pietro nodded.

“Then it’s decided,” I said. “I have to return home soon. We can settle the details at a later point.”

Dante nodded.

“Just one more thing. I don’t want word about Samuel’s bond to my sister to get out yet. She doesn’t need to know this was a deal in exchange for Sofia.”

I moved toward the door, wanting out of this house, out of this city, but most of all away from Serafina. Footsteps sounded behind me, but I didn’t turn. There was nothing else left to say, not today.

“Danilo, wait,” Samuel demanded.

Narrowing my eyes, I turned around. “What do you want?”

We’d come to a tentative understanding while trying to save Serafina from Remo Falcone’s clutches, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t last. We were both alphas and didn’t deal well with someone who didn’t bow to our wishes.

“Sofia deserves more than being second best.”

That was probably true. True for both our sisters. Fate had dealt Emma some harsh cards, and she deserved only the best. Would she ever get it? Probably not. “I’ll treat Sofia with the same respect as I have always treated Serafina.” My mouth twisted as I voiced her name. “Remember to do the same with Emma.”

Samuel shook his head. “Quid pro quo?”

I said nothing. This was messed up. We both got girls we didn’t want for a bond that would ensure our power. Samuel and I were proud men to a fault, and Remo Falcone had trampled on that pride. A pride we wanted to rebuild.

I was beginning to think it would be both our downfall.

I still remembered the first time I saw Danilo. It was a year before he was supposed to marry my sister. He’d come over to discuss details with Dad. Driven by curiosity, I’d pretended to be heading toward the kitchen to catch a glimpse of him. He stood in our foyer, talking to Dad. The moment I spotted him, my heart did a strange flip it had never done before. He gave me a smile, and again my heart beat wildly and my belly warmed. He reminded me of the princes that girls always dreamed about. Tall and handsome and chivalrous. His dark brown hair was smoothed back casually, and he had a small dimple in his right cheek when he smiled.

I’d thought he’d remain a fantasy forever. Whenever I fantasized about him, I’d felt guilty—until, suddenly, he was mine. At least officially, because his heart still belonged to my sister.

The day I found out I would be marrying Danilo, I had been sitting at my desk in my room when someone knocked, then Dad stepped in. He’d sent me to my room a couple of hours ago like so often in the months since Fina had been kidnapped. Everyone thought I was too young to understand what was going on, to handle the severity of it all.

“Sofia, can I have a word with you?” Dad asked.

I looked up from my homework with a small frown. His voice sounded off.

“Did I do something wrong?” It was the only explanation for why my parents would seek me out. They’d been too busy since the kidnapping, so I was used to being on my own or with my cousin Anna. I wasn’t mad at them. They were hurting so much. I just wanted things to go back to how they used to be. I wanted us to be happy.

Dad came over to me and touched the top of my head, his eyes sad. “Of course not, ladybug.”

I smiled at the use of my nickname. It always reminded me how much he loved me even if he couldn’t always show it.

“Let’s sit over there, okay?” He pointed toward my pink sofa, then walked over to it and sank down, looking tired. I followed and sat beside him. For a long time, he didn’t say anything, only regarded me in a way that made my throat feel all tight.

“Dad?” I whispered. “Is Fina okay?”

“Yeah . . .” He swallowed and took my hand. “You know we have rules in our world. Rules we all have to follow. Danilo can’t marry Serafina anymore, so we decided that we’d promise you to him.”

I blinked, shocked. After a moment, my belly fluttered madly. “Really?” I cringed at how excited I sounded.

Dad’s eyes softened further. He squeezed my hand lightly. “In many years, you’ll marry him. After you turn eighteen. So, you don’t have to worry about it now.”

Six years and six months. “Is Fina sad?”

Dad smiled. “No, she knows rules have to be followed.”

I nodded slowly. “Danilo really wants to marry me when I’m grown up?”

I couldn’t believe it. Danilo was so handsome and clever. Serafina and he had looked like monarchs beside each other, like a Disney dream couple.

Dad kissed my forehead. “Of course, he does. Any man would be grateful to have you as his wife. He chose you.”

I beamed up at my father.

With a deep sigh, he pulled me against him. “Oh, ladybug.” He sounded sad, not excited, and I wasn’t sure why.

I’d dreamed about Danilo all night. I couldn’t wait to talk to Anna about it. She’d come over today before she and her family had to return to Chicago.

I’d woken before sunrise, too giddy to sleep further.

Lying on my belly on my bed, I couldn’t stop writing Danilo’s and my name over and over again, no matter how childish it was. Sofia Mancini sounded perfect to me.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in!” I called, hiding my silly scribbling from view.

Fina stepped in, blonde hair trailing down her shoulder. She was in simple jeans and a T-shirt and not wearing make-up, but she was still the prettiest girl I knew. Why would Danilo choose me over her? She was already grown up. She was the perfect princess for someone like him.

I looked away from her, ashamed of my pettiness. Fina had been kidnapped and hurt.

“I wanted to talk to you about Danilo. I assume Dad already talked to you?”

“Are you mad at me?” I asked, worried that Fina felt bad because she was now without a future husband.

“Mad?” she asked, looking confused as she walked over to me.

“Because Danilo wants to marry me now and not you.”

“No. I’m not. I want you to be happy. Are you okay?”

Despite my embarrassment, I showed my scribbling to her, wanting to share it with someone else.

Fina’s eyes widened. “You like him?”

“I’m sorry. I liked him even when you were promised to him. He’s cute and chivalrous.”

Fear of her reaction blasted through me, but she surprised me when she bent and kissed my head. Relief flooded me.

Fina fixed me with a warning look. “He’s a grown man, Sofia. Many years will pass before you marry him. He won’t come anywhere near you until then.”

“I know. Dad told me.” I didn’t mind waiting, and it made me happy that Danilo had agreed to wait so long for me. That meant he really wanted me.

“So, we’re okay?” I asked, still unable to believe that Fina wasn’t mad at me for taking her fiancé.

“Better than okay,” Fina said before she left.

I hesitated, then decided to follow her to ask her more about Danilo. I didn’t know much about him. When I arrived on the gallery and peered down into the foyer, I spotted Fina and Danilo.

“Sofia is a girl. How could you agree to that bond, Danilo?”

My eyes widened at the rudeness in her tone. I thought she was okay with me marrying Danilo? It didn’t sound like it.

Danilo looked furious. “She is a child. Too young for me. She’s my sister’s age, for God’s sake. But you know what’s expected. And we won’t marry until she’s of age. I never touched you, and I won’t touch her.”

“You should have chosen someone else. Not Sofia.”

“I didn’t choose her. I chose you. But you were taken from me, and now I have no choice but to marry your sister even though it’s you I want!”

He didn’t want me? I sucked in a sharp breath as my chest constricted. Tears pricked my eyes.

Danilo and Fina looked up.

I whirled around and stormed back to my room where I flung myself on my bed and began crying. Dad had lied to me. Danilo hadn’t chosen me. He still wanted Fina. Of course, he did. She was so pretty and blonde. People often mourned the fact that I hadn’t inherited Mom’s blonde hair.

“Go away!” I yelled at the knock on my door and buried my face deeper in the pillow.

“Sofia, can I talk to you?” Danilo said.

I froze. Danilo had never approached me. Slowly, I sat up and wiped my eyes. I hopped off my bed and checked my face in the mirror. My eyes were puffy and my nose red. Fina was a pretty crier. I was not.

I tiptoed to the door, my stomach twisting with nerves as I opened it. Danilo and Fina waited in the hallway.

Fina smiled at me, but my eyes were drawn to Danilo. I had to crane my neck back because he was so tall. My cheeks heated, but I could do nothing about my body’s reaction to Danilo.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” he asked.

I tried to hide my shock and quickly looked at Fina to see if it was okay.

“Sure,” she said.

I walked over to my sofa, suddenly self-conscious about all the pink in my room. I doubted Danilo liked the color very much. I sank down on my sofa, curling my fingers into fists in my lap to hide their shaking. Danilo left the door open and came over to me. He scanned my room, and I cringed when his gaze lingered on the array of stuffed animals on my bed. I didn’t cuddle with them anymore, I just had trouble throwing them away. Now I wished I had done it. Danilo must think of me as a silly little girl now. He sat down beside me but with plenty of space between us. From the hallway, Fina gave me a faint smile, then walked out of view, but I knew she’d be close by.

I risked a glance at Danilo. His dark hair was styled back but slightly mussed up, and he was dressed completely in black. I didn’t usually like black, but it looked very handsome on Danilo.

He turned to me, dark eyes locking on mine. My skin heated even more, and I had to look down into my lap. He cleared his throat. “What you overheard in the lobby wasn’t meant for your ears.”

I nodded. “It’s okay. I know you wanted Serafina.” My voice shook.

“Sofia,” Danilo said in a firm voice that made me look up. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant. He definitely didn’t look happy. “I chose you. Serafina and I won’t work after what happened. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. That’s why I said what I said.”

I searched his face briefly before looking away. He looked honest, but a hint of doubt remained in me. What I’d seen downstairs hadn’t seemed like a show for Fina. Danilo had looked honestly disappointed over losing her. Yet, I wanted to believe that he had really chosen me to be his future bride, that Dad didn’t have to talk him into it.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

I forced a smile. “Yeah.”

“Good.” He stood, and for a moment, our eyes met again. His mouth tightened in a way I didn’t understand, then he turned and left.

I peered down at my hands, torn between excitement and disappointment. Wiggling my fingers, I wondered when I’d get an engagement ring. Fina had gotten hers immediately when our parents had decided on the bond.

But maybe this time, they’d wait. It would be frowned upon if an engagement was made public so shortly after Fina was saved.

I stood and headed over to my bed. I grabbed my stuffed animals and tossed them to the ground, then removed a few embarrassing posters of horses from my walls. After I’d removed a few too-frilly dresses from my wardrobe and tossed them on the stuffed animal heap, I hurried downstairs to grab a garbage bag. Danilo wanted someone as poised as my sister. If I wanted him to want me, I couldn’t act like a little girl anymore.