Dear Ava by Ilsa Madden-Mills
20
After I leave Knox, I walk into the dorm, and the security guard, an older man in a uniform, checks my ID. “Miss Harris?”
“The one and only. My room is 312.”
“Someone dropped off something for you,” he says then turns and grabs a vase of flowers on the desk behind him.
I gawk.
He sets them on the counter. Creamy white roses and fernlike greenery hang over the sides of the container. These aren’t just regular roses; they’re fully bloomed and lush, the velvety petals begging to be touched.
A little smile comes from him. “There’s a card.”
Staring down at the blooms, I take them and head to the elevator, wondering who they’re from. Knox?
I could take the stairs, but my legs ache. I really need better shoes when I work. Someday. When I get enough money tucked away, I’ll buy some things for myself. Maybe some of those twinkle lights for my room.
Fingering the folded note, I exit the elevator and head to my door, but I’m too curious to wait until I get inside to read the card. I open it.
Ava,
I didn’t plan on sending these, but when I saw them, they looked like they belonged in your hands. This time last year, we were together. You were the best thing I ever held, and I MESSED UP. I own it. I’m guilty of hurting you with my words, guilty of leaving you alone at a party when I should have taken care of you. I’m sorry over and over a million times. It’s okay if you never forgive me, just know I will never forget you, the first girl I ever loved.
Chance
I flipthe card against my finger.
“Oh, those are gorgeous.”
It’s Camilla, coming down the hall with a load of laundry in her hands, wearing Star Wars pajama pants and a Camden shirt.
See? We should be friends.
I attempt a smile. “Yeah, they’re pretty. Um, sorry about hitting you with the water balloon last night. I was aiming for those rabid freshman girls.”
She smiles shyly. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Did Knox send those?”
Ugh. No. “Chance.”
She makes a murmuring noise. “I heard about his big apology in class.”
“Word travels fast.”
“It is high school and we thrive on gossip, and you being back is the craziest thing to happen since I’ve been here. You going to forgive him?”
An unforgiving heart is like rat poison to the one who holds it. One of the nuns told me that once and it’s always stuck with me, mostly when I think about my mom. Forgiving Chance? I glance back down at the flowers. I don’t think…what do I think? It definitely wasn’t Chance’s voice I heard when the person hit me in the back of the head, no, not his…
I let out a sigh. Everything is so muddled right now.
Her next words catch me by surprise. “I’ve always believed you.”
I don’t have to ask what she means.
Her face scrunches up. “I hung out with the Sharks freshman year. I’d just moved here from California, and no one warned me what dicks they can be.”
I’m instantly at attention. “You dated one of them?”
She stares down at her laundry, toying with the edges of the basket. “Ha. You could say that.”
Goose bumps rise on my arms at her quiet tone. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She starts, frowning. “God, no. Don’t mind me.” She pauses. “How’s Astley?”
I tell her she’s fine as far as I know, then, “It wasn’t Knox, was it?”
She opens her door and looks back at me. “It was nothing. I don’t ever think about them anymore. Good night.” And then she’s shutting her door.
She “dated” a Shark. Looks like Camilla needs her own dossier.
Later, I shower, put on a camisole and shorts, and crawl into bed. The flowers sit on my desk, their scent heavy and sweet.
My gaze falls to my apron on the floor, and I groan, getting up to move it to the hook on the back of the door.
Then I remember the tip that was left for me and pull it out of the pocket, open the envelope. It isn’t a tip.
Ava,
Surprise! I’m back in Nashville and I want to see you so bad. One of the guys under the bridge told me you work at this diner. Meet me there tomorrow after school. Please. I’ll come by every afternoon until I see you.
Mom
My hands shakeand I fall back on my bed, numb. What the hell?
Two messages, both unwanted, on the same day. Crap. I tear the note into shreds and toss it in the trash.
What the heck does she want?
Tyler?
No way. She left us.
Like hell I’ll meet her. I fire off a text to Lou and let him know what’s going on, and he replies and tells me to take a few days off and lay low.
My phone pings with a text, and I snatch it up.
I can’t breathe, beautiful girl.
Give me a minute.
To catch up with you.
Wait for me.
It’s SA/Knox, and his words make me whimper. I clutch the phone, itching to reply, but in the end I set it down.
