The Queen by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Chapter 17

“I can barely live with myself now,” Tanner said. “I can’t let someone else take the blame for my actions. Not when this reckoning was always coming.”

Blood pounded in my ears as I stared at Tanner in disbelief.

“When I saw him with you, I thought you’d changed your mind. That he’d convinced you to stay with him,” he explained, staring at his open hands. “And I believed that after everything I’d done, the dirt I’d sunk my hands into, that it was all for nothing. That our King was going to forsake our entire Court.”

I couldn’t think.

“I didn’t know if you’d already told him about the baby. I thought you hadn’t, because if you had, I couldn’t imagine that he’d allow you into the room with that poor youngling,” he continued. “I thought that if I could at least end the pregnancy, it would cut one of the threads that bound him to you, and you to him. After all, it would not be the worst sin I have committed to protect the Court.”

I couldn’t move.

“In the beginning, I thought you were just a passing fancy and then a distraction. I knew he cared for you. Deeply enough that even if I hadn’t known you were his mortuus, I saw that he would not easily choose another.” His voice rasped, barely audible. “Aric lied to you, Brighton. There was no Summer fae willing to work with the Winter Court to release that monster. There was only me.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“I knew I could get a message to him through Neal, and I did. I met with him twice, and there was a moment when I considered killing him. I’d brought a sheathed dagger with me. I could’ve done it. The Ancient was so arrogant. I had a window of opportunity.” He continued staring at his hands. “But I didn’t take it. Not the first time when I told him that…that you were important to our King, and not the second when he told me that he planned to use you to force Caden to open the gateway. I didn’t know then that was possible. I thought…”

The shock of what he’d admitted snapped me out of my stupor. “You…you’re the reason Aric came for me? You knew that he had me alive? That he was keeping me there, torturing—?”

“I thought he would kill you. I didn’t know he’d keep you alive,” he said without looking up.

“You thought…he would kill me. As if that makes a difference, makes it better,” I whispered, disbelieving what I was hearing.

This was Tanner.

Prim and proper Tanner, who wore polo shirts and khaki pants. Who I could easily imagine playing golf on the weekends. Tanner, who was nice and always calm, who I knew had harbored a crush for my mother and had been genuinely upset over her murder.

Murder carried out by the Ancient he’d later all but handed me over to.

And now he’d tried to kill my child.

“How could you?” I demanded, hands shaking. The betrayal cut so deeply that it was all I could feel. It hurt, because never in a million years would I have expected that he’d do something like this. It hurt.

“It wasn’t personal.”

“Are you serious?” I cried. “How could this get any more personal?”

“I know that sounds absurd. I like you, and you know I liked your mother—”

“How could you do this? I trusted you. My mom trusted you.” A rising tide of anger chipped away at the pain of his betrayal. “Caden trusted you.”

“I know.” He lifted his head then. Tears tracked down his face, and seeing them made me even more furious. What right did he have to be upset? He’d tried to kill our child. He was responsible for my seemingly never-ending weeks in hell. “I thought I was doing the right thing.” He sat back, arms limp at his sides. “Caden thought he was doing the right thing by not telling you everything. You thought you were doing the right thing by pushing him away and not telling him about the baby. And I thought I was—”

“What you did is not even remotely the same,” I snapped. “We were trying to protect one another. You—”

“And I was trying to protect the entire Court and the world!” His shoulders shook. “That’s what I was trying to do.”

I stared at him, trembling. The rage building inside of me diminished everything else—the betrayal, the disbelief, and the pain. I’d told Tink that I would kill whoever had been responsible. I wasn’t being overdramatic then, and that was before I knew that the person responsible for nearly ending my child’s life was also responsible for the horror I’d suffered at Aric’s hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the cuff and blade on the table.

Murderous fury was a cyclone inside of me. I liked Tanner. I trusted him. My mom had trusted him, and maybe later, the pain of his betrayal would haunt me, but the bitter burn of vengeance consumed me now. I moved without thinking, twisting at the waist as I kicked the blanket off. I reached for the cuff, fully intending to slam the blade deep into his throat. I would sever his head from his shoulders, ensuring his death.

Tanner was quick, like all fae were, no matter if they fed or not.

He shot from his chair, knocking it over as he swiped up the cuff with a linen napkin that had been left beside it.

Shit.

Sliding off the bed, I grabbed the lamp just as the door burst open. I yanked the lamp from where it was plugged in and swung it at Tanner as Kalen burst into the room.

“What the hell is going on?” Kalen demanded as Tanner jumped back, blocking the blow with his other arm. The ceramic base shattered, cutting into his flesh. “Brighton!”

“It’s him!” I shouted, refusing to take my eyes off Tanner. “He poisoned me. He handed me over to Aric!”

“What?” Disbelief filled Kalen’s voice.

“It’s true.” Tanner backed up, his gaze briefly darting to where Kalen stood inside the room. “She speaks the truth.”

“What?” Kalen repeated, denial still evident in his tone.

“I was trying to protect the Court.” Tanner kept backing up.

“I don’t care what you were trying to do!” I screamed. “We trusted you!”

“Tanner.” Horror had replaced the shock in Kalen’s voice. “Our King will kill you.”

“No, he won’t,” I said, hands balling into fists. “Because I’m going to kill him first.” I took a step forward.

“That won’t be necessary.” Tanner’s back hit the wall as his tear-stricken pale gaze met mine. “Neal has left the city. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I have nothing to gain by lying. Neal is gone.” The thin linen wasn’t giving much protection against the iron. Wisps of smoke drifted from the cloth and the fae’s skin. “Aric didn’t tell me you were the King’s mortuus, but he would’ve told Neal. He may be gone, but he knows you’re the King’s greatest weakness. And he would’ve told others. They’ll come for you, thinking they can use you to control the King. Do what I failed to do. Protect the King and the future of my Court. Never let your guard down.”

It happened so fast.

Tanner jerked his hand back, then plunged it toward his chest. Kalen was at my side, pushing me behind him as he shouted. Tanner’s entire body jolted, and his eyes flared wide with pain. It took me a second to realize that the hand that had slammed into his chest had been the one holding the cuff blade.

I stumbled back in shock, knocking into the bed. “What…?”

“I’m sorry.” Tanner’s voice came out as a whisper. His eyes closed, and then he just…sucked into himself, folding from the top of his salt and pepper hair to the polished loafers on his feet. He crumpled like paper. There was a crack, a sound like a muffled gunshot, then a flash of intense light.

Then…nothing.

All that was left where Tanner once stood was the iron blade, remaining where it had fallen.