The Queen by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Chapter 3
After a drawn-out battle of wills between Luce and I, she promised not to protest my leaving Hotel Good Fae as long as I agreed to stay for the remainder of the week for observation and met her at the clinic she worked at next week for an ultrasound and bloodwork. Since it was Monday, that meant five days before I could go home. Five days where I would be in the same building with the man I loved but couldn’t have.
I wasn’t exactly happy, but I relented. My body had been through a lot. So had my mind, and with the latest development, I needed to be somewhere Luce could easily check in on me.
Relief that she was going to stay quiet overshadowed the irritation of being stuck here. But what she’d said sat heavily on my chest as I pulled on a pair of loose sweats and a shirt Ivy had left for me.
Could Luce be right? Caden would never let me go?
My hands shook as I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Part of me was thrilled to hear that Luce believed Caden felt that strongly for me. That he wouldn’t let me push him away. That was the incredibly selfish part of me that was doing jumping jacks at the prospect of Caden fighting for me. For us. The other half was terrified over what was at stake.
Stopping in the middle of the room, I looked down. I’m pregnant. A wave of shivers skittered over my skin. Hands still trembling, I reached down and lifted my shirt. I tried to see past the way my stomach caved in and the old, pale scars left behind from Aric’s first attack as well as the fresher, angry red cuts that covered nearly every inch of my midsection. There was a…a baby in there, right now, growing. My child.
Ourchild.
A wealth of emotions rose, so many that I could barely decipher the unexpected excitement from all the fear of the unknown and what needed to be done.
If things were different, I would still be scared out of my mind. I never really thought hard about having children. I’d had to take care of my mom, and then there had been my need for revenge. There hadn’t been any serious relationships in the last several years. It just hadn’t been something I thought about. So, I would still be afraid. I’d be wondering if I was capable of caring for a baby. I would still have no idea if I’d be a good mother. But that burst of excitement I’d felt a few seconds before wouldn’t have been squashed by all the fear. It would continue to grow, and maybe some of that trepidation would lessen over time. Instead of thinking about how I was going to make Caden understand that he had to be with someone else, I would be obsessing over how to break the news. I wouldn’t be trying to figure out how to leave, or where I could go. I would be worrying about normal things like how Caden would take the news. Would he be happy? Scared? Disappointed? If things were different, I wouldn’t be spending one moment hiding the pregnancy from him.
God, that hurt. I hated the whole idea of hiding it. That wasn’t who I was. But things weren’t different. I was pragmatic enough to realize that these were the cards I had been dealt, and it didn’t matter how unfair that hand was.
I pressed my palm against the skin of my stomach, wincing as the many slices stung. Here were the facts: I was pregnant with the King of the Summer Court’s child. He loved me, and I loved him. But the fate of the actual world rested on him choosing a Queen from his people. I knew I didn’t have it in me to share him, even if he married someone and eventually slept with them only out of duty. I couldn’t do it. We had to put the world before ourselves, and I needed to somehow get Caden to see that. More importantly, there were more immediate, pressing concerns. Aric was dead, but Neal was still out there. He may not be as powerful or as smart as Aric, but I didn’t think he’d tuck tail and run like Caden thought he would. Even if he did, there was still the issue of someone within the Summer Court working with the Winter fae. I needed to find Caden and tell him what I’d remembered. I had to do that before I even tried to talk some sense into him or find a way to get him to do the right thing.
Letting go of my shirt, I watched the soft fabric flutter back into place. It was then I realized that I was crying. I wiped at my cheeks a little too roughly. It hurt the still-healing bruises.
“Pull it together,” I said, forcing myself to take a deep breath. “You need to pull it together, Bri.”
And I did. It took a while, but I was able to do what I’d done while being held captive by Aric. I shut my emotions down and locked them away. Only then did I toe on a pair of flip-flops Ivy had brought and leave the room.
The hall to the elevator was blessedly empty. I stepped inside, hitting the button for the first floor. I had no idea which room Caden was staying in, but if he was up and moving about, I figured he’d either be in or near Tanner’s office. If not, Tanner could probably tell me where he was. I rode the elevator down, not letting myself think of anything.
A mysterious sugary scent hit me the moment the elevator doors opened to the wide hall that split in three different directions. My stomach grumbled. There was a bakery in the cafeteria area, and they must’ve put out a fresh batch of something. With great effort, I forced myself to turn right instead of walking straight toward the cafeteria. I headed down the brightly lit hall. Reaching the corner—
I came face-to-face with several silvery-skinned fae. I didn’t recognize any of them, but there was no mistaking the shock on their faces as they got an eyeful of me. I had no idea if they knew who I was, but it was obvious that they saw someone who looked as if they had gone toe-to-toe with a professional boxer and lost. My left eye was open, but it was more purple than pink, and the lid felt incredibly heavy. The swelling had reduced a little along my cheek, but I still looked like I had food shoved in there. The cut in my bottom lip didn’t nearly look as bad as it had this morning, but it was still angry-looking.
Then there was the band of bruised skin around my neck.
One of the fae, a younger male, stared at that, and I realized I probably should’ve left my hair down. Or found a turtleneck. And a ski mask.
They hurried around me, saying nothing, and I trudged on, seeing the open door to Tanner’s office up ahead. Above me, one of the recessed lights flickered—
Say it!
I jerked to a stop, air lodging in my throat as Aric’s voice thundered in my ears and all around me. He wasn’t here. I knew that. He was dead, and I wasn’t in that awful place. I was safe. I’d killed him. I was—
Say it!
Clapping my hands over my ears, I tried to silence the roar of Aric’s voice, but the hallway around me darkened. The walls became damp, moldy bricks. I inhaled sharply, no longer smelling sugar but mold and decay. Blood. I staggered forward. Chains clinked. The weight unbearable around my neck. I’m not there. I’m not there. The floor shifted under my feet, and I felt my knees connect with the stone, but the pain barely registered. Aric’s cold breath was against my cheek.
“Say it,” he demanded, his voice echoing around me, through me. “Say please.”
“No. No. No,” I whispered, doubling over.
Hands touched my shoulders, and I jerked back, expecting biting pain to follow. I couldn’t take anymore. I couldn’t—
A voice broke through the haze of panic, a timbre that was deep and smooth. Comforting. I thought I recognized it. Whoever it was said something. A name. Brighton. More words. Open your eyes. My fingers curled into the hair above my ears. I’d heard those words before. Open your eyes, sunshine.
Sunshine.
That…that meant something. Meaning was attached to that. Emotions. Happiness. Sadness. Safety.
Arms shifted around me, and I felt as if I were floating for several seconds before being settled against something warm and hard. It moved. Rose up and down steadily against the side of my body as a voice whispered, “It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
Fingers curled around my wrists. They were warm, not at all like Aric’s. His skin was ice cold. I focused on the feeling of those fingers as they slowly pulled mine away from my ears. This wasn’t Aric. He was dead. I’d killed him. I wasn’t there. I knew that. My arms were lowered to my lap. I didn’t want to look because I had the distinct feeling that I’d heard this all before. And once…once it hadn’t been real.
What if none of this was real?
Maybe I was still in that cold, damp, and dark place, chained to the stone slab. My heart stuttered as a hoarse sound crawled up and out of me.
Those warm fingers touched my right cheek, and I started to draw back, but a gentle touch followed. “Open your eyes for me.” The voice came again. “Please open your eyes so you can see me and know that it’s me holding you, touching you. That you’re safe. Open your eyes, sunshine.”
I did, and I found myself looking into two amber jewels. Not Aric’s icy eyes. Not the pale blue of a normal fae. Hot, golden eyes thickly fringed with heavy lashes. My gaze moved over the straight, proud nose and the full, expressive lips, to the sculpted jaw and blond strands of hair that rested against high, sharp cheekbones.
He cupped my cheeks, careful not to put pressure on the left side of my face as he guided my gaze back to his. “Your name is Brighton Jussier. Your friends sometimes call you Bri. Tink calls you Lite Bright,” he said, those beautiful eyes searching mine. “I call you my sunshine. Do you know why? It’s because I saw you smile once, and it was like the sun finally rising after centuries of nothing but night.”
A deep shudder started inside me and then rippled out over my skin. With the next breath I took, the scent of summer rain and long, hot nights surrounded me.
It was like waking up from a nightmare with your eyes already open. I was stuck somewhere, and then I was here.
I knew who I was.
I knew where I was.
And I also knew who held me.
The King.
Caden.
