The Queen by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Chapter 4

Impossibly, all thoughts fled the moment Caden smiled.

He was a stunning man, but when those full lips curved into a grin, he became breathtakingly beautiful. Everything that had led to this moment took a backseat. It was just Caden and me, his warm body against mine, and his hands ever so gently holding me.

I’m carrying his child.

I didn’t know who moved first. If it was him. If it was me. Or both of us. What mattered was that our lips met. My breath snagged. He was more than aware of the cut along my lower lip, knew just the right pressure so it wouldn’t cause even a second of pain. And it felt like a first kiss. In a way, it was. Our last kiss like this had been weeks ago—months ago. An eternity. Before Aric, before things I knew were important but couldn’t pull from my scattered thoughts.

There was no thinking. Only sensation as I felt as if I sank into him. Caden was so incredibly careful, avoiding the numerous areas of aches and pains. He sipped from my lips in slow, drugging kisses that sent a flush of heady warmth through my body, chasing away the iciness of what had just occurred.

He tasted rich and lush as one of his hands lowered to my hip. I could feel the tension in his lax grip, as if he wanted to grab me, hold me tight but held back.

Caden and the kiss…they were both so incredibly gentle, so loving. A swelling motion rose in my heart, and a rawness appeared in my soul. I no longer had to fantasize about how it felt to be kissed by someone who didn’t just love me but also cherished me. Because that was how I was kissed right then. It was one of the most beautiful and painful realizations.

All those scattered thoughts were piecing themselves together, reminding me of what exactly had just happened and everything that had come before.

I shouldn’t be doing this—allowing this. Too much was at stake. I needed to distance myself from Caden. Not make out with him.

Caden ended the kiss before I had the common sense to do so. He pulled away just enough that his forehead rested on mine. Against my arm, I could feel his strong heart pounding. “I missed that little catch in your breath,” he murmured. “I missed the taste of you on my tongue.”

Heat swamped me, and I wanted to let it drown me. Then I wouldn’t care about the consequences.

God.

I shouldn’t have let him kiss me.

Or I shouldn’t have kissed him.

My lips still tingled. Other parts of me were also doing that, and I didn’t need the reminder to make what I had to do even harder. I had to put as much space between us as I could, but my body and heart had different ideas. I tipped forward, resting my unbruised cheek on his shoulder. There was no hesitation from Caden. His arms swept around me, and a sigh I couldn’t hope to hide parted my lips. He held me so very carefully, mindful of all the hurts. In his arms, I felt as if nothing could reach me—not the past or the future, not even the horrible dread that I would become just like my mom, or the knowledge that I had to walk away from Caden. I felt cherished and protected. Safe.

Caden drew a hand over my head, down the loose ponytail, and then over the line of my spine. The steady sweep of his hand was soothing. I didn’t know how much time passed as I soaked up his warmth, his closeness, but then he spoke. “I just missed you, Brighton.”

My heart squeezed as if a hand reached inside and gripped it, and all that warmth from before was chased away by cold, harsh reality.

Caden lifted his head then, his gaze coasting over my features as if they were flawless. He smiled again, but I realized it didn’t quite reach his eyes. A wealth of concern rested there, and I hated seeing that. “How are you feeling now?”

I dragged my gaze from his, focusing on the patch of golden skin above the collar of his black shirt. “I feel okay.”

“Truly?”

I nodded, having a feeling that he knew better.

“I have a lot of questions.”

Not exactly surprising.

“Starting with the most important one,” he continued. “What are you doing out of bed?”

I blinked. That was the most important thing? He’d found me in a hallway, having what was definitely a hallucination, and he was asking why I was out of bed? I started to move, reminding myself that we definitely needed space between us, but the hand at my back held me in place.

I didn’t fight him. I could’ve, and I believed if I pushed, he’d let go, but I didn’t. Just a little longer, I told myself. “I was looking for you,” I admitted.

“Flattered,” he murmured, smoothing down the wisps of my hair with his other hand. “But you should be resting and taking it easy. Neither of those two things includes roaming around the hotel.”

“I wasn’t roaming around.” I looked up at him. “And I feel fine.”

Caden stared at me.

I sighed. “I mean, I physically feel okay.”

He sat back a little, and I realized we were in one of the meeting rooms near Tanner’s office, sitting on a couch. Well, he was sitting on the couch. I was sitting on him, my legs resting on the cushion next to us. “You want to tell me what happened out there?”

Not really, but he’d seen me worse than this. When he found me in that underground chamber, I had been much harder to reach. “I don’t know what happened. I was coming down to tell you something, and one of the ceiling lights flickered.” My nose scrunched as I looked away again, focusing on a bouquet of purplish-pink irises. “Actually, I’m not even sure if the light flickered or not.”

“They did in Tanner’s office. A power surge, I believe,” he said.

Knowing I hadn’t hallucinated that part brought forth a small measure of relief. “After I saw the light, I…”

“What?” he asked softly.

My cheeks heated. “I heard Aric’s voice.” Aware that the movement of his hand had halted at the mention of the Winter fae, I forced myself to keep talking. “I knew he wasn’t here, but it was like being sucked into this…this hallucination. I don’t know if the light triggered it or what. With Mom, I don’t think there was anything in particular that caused her to lose the sense of who she was. But I couldn’t pull myself out of it. And I…I knew who I was.” A shiver worked its way through me. “Mom always did, but it was like I didn’t know where I was or what was real. I can’t…” I exhaled roughly as I gave a little shake of my head. “It wasn’t the first time I’d heard his voice or hallucinated. When I was there, I thought I saw a lot of things. And with Mom, it wasn’t as bad when she first came back. But it steadily got worse.”

Caden’s hand started moving again. “I know you’re aware of this. Too many feedings can fracture a human’s mind. It doesn’t take much.”

I did know that. Even if I hadn’t seen it firsthand with my mom, I could see it every day on the streets of New Orleans. Humans who stumbled around mindlessly, some easily mistaken for addicts while others became uncontrollable, violent creatures. It also happened when a fae bent human minds to their will too often.

“I know you’re afraid that you’re going to become your mom, but you’re stronger than that.”

“Mom was the strongest woman I knew.”

“I don’t know that, but you’re different. You’re not entirely human,” Caden said quietly. Slowly, my gaze lifted to his. The Summer Kiss. “You’re going to heal from this. All the bruises and the cuts will heal. Your mind will heal. You just need time. And you have time.”

God, I wanted to latch on to that and believe him, but I wasn’t sure if he was telling me that so I’d have hope, or if he was being truthful. But I really didn’t have time. There were important things to deal with.

Namely one that would be arriving in roughly seven months—give or take a week.

Pressure settled on my shoulders, and I had to change the subject. If not, I was likely to blurt out everything.

“What is it?” he asked, curling his fingers around my chin. He guided my gaze back to his.

My heart tripped over itself. “What do you mean?”

“Something is bothering you,” he said. “Something that’s not about what just happened. What are you not telling me?”

Panic flared in the pit of my stomach as my throat dried, and it became difficult to swallow.

“You’re scared. That, I understand.” His thumb swept over the curve of my chin. “But there’s sadness there too. I can feel it drenching your skin. You’ve been through a lot. I know, but this is different. You weren’t like this when I left you earlier or any other time.”

I froze. He couldn’t know. Caden could sense emotions, which meant hiding anything from him was difficult, but he wasn’t a mind reader. There was no way.

My mind rapidly searched for an explanation. Luckily, I remembered why I’d set out in search of him. If what Aric claimed was true, that would give me a reason to be sad. I latched on to that and ran with it. “It’s what I came down to tell you. I remembered—”

A soft knock on the door interrupted me, followed by Tanner’s voice. “My King? Is everything all right?”

Caden’s gaze didn’t leave me as he all but growled, “Everything’s fine. I’ll be in to see you when I can.”

“Wait!” I shouted, scrambling out of Caden’s lap. He frowned, but I ignored that and the flare of pain that shot through my body.

“I’m…I’m waiting,” came Tanner’s tentative response through the door.

“We’re not done talking,” Caden told me.

“This involves him.” And it did. Also, I seriously doubted that Caden would pursue his earlier questioning while Tanner was present. The older fae was also the perfect buffer. “Please come in.”

The door didn’t open. Confused, I looked at Caden, who sighed. “It’s okay,” he announced, draping an arm along the back of the couch. “You may come in, Tanner.”

My brows lifted. “Really?”

He winked. “I’m the King.”

“Whatever,” I muttered as the door opened.

Tanner entered, dressed as if he were about to go out for a round of golf. Beige, pressed trousers and a light blue polo shirt, wrinkle-free. All he was missing was a glove. He couldn’t look more…human. The silvery hair at his temples was spreading, proof that he didn’t feed from humans. Sometimes I wondered if my mom had developed a bit of a crush on Tanner, one that had been reciprocated. Mom liked him, so I trusted Tanner.

He wasn’t alone.

A dark-haired fae followed him in. Faye’s silvery skin was darker than Tanner’s, often reminding me of a stunning pewter shade. While Faye had the most impressive resting bitch face I’d ever seen, and I often wasn’t sure if she actually liked me, she had a no-nonsense mentality, and I trusted her. She, like Kalen, another fae, were warriors. They didn’t feed on humans, so they could be killed a lot easier than those who did, but they were still faster and stronger than any human could ever hope to be.

Faye’s cousin Benji was one of the missing younglings, and I suspected that he wouldn’t be returning to the hotel. There was a good chance that he, like the others, had somehow gotten ahold of Devil’s Breath, a liquor laced with a drug derived from the borrachero tree. It turned humans into virtual zombies, and the fae into evil creatures controlled by the Winter fae.

“We’re sorry to interrupt,” Tanner said, clasping his hands behind him as he glanced over at me. “We were just worried.”

“We heard you shout in the hall,” Faye explained.

Well, that explained how Caden had found me. “I’m fine.”

Faye lifted a dark brow. “You don’t look fine.”

I couldn’t be offended by Faye’s bluntness. “I feel better than I look.”

“I would hope,” Tanner murmured.

Faye walked to where I stood, her gaze coasting over my face. My muscles stiffened as I forced myself not to flinch or take a step back. It had nothing to do with Faye, but with the fact that Aric had been really good at teaching me to be wary of anyone getting too close. Oddly aware of the tension radiating off Caden, I held myself still as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “I heard that it was you who killed Aric.”

“It was.”

Her eyes glimmered. “The next time I need backup, I know who to call.”

Pride swept through me like golden fire. Out of everyone, Faye never doubted my ability to fight and defend myself, even though she saw my thirst for revenge as a risk. She hadn’t just seen me as the Willow to the Buffy, something that had taken a while for Ivy to recognize.

“I’m not sure how I feel about that,” Caden said.

“It’s a good thing you don’t have a say in what I do,” I retorted.

Tanner’s eyes widened while the glimmer in Faye’s deepened.

“But I do have a say in what she does,” Caden remarked.

I shot him a look, to which he simply grinned. Then I remembered what Caden had told me. Ivy and Faye had helped to change my bandages while I was unconscious. “Thank you for helping to take care of me.”

She inclined her head. “You would do the same for me, would you not?”

“Of course.”

“Because that’s what friends do for one another, even human and fae friends,” she said, and a hint of a smile pulled at her lips when I rolled my eyes. “More importantly, that’s what warriors do for one another.”

Warriors.

She was talking about me.

Twice in one day, someone had referred to me as a warrior. I liked that. A lot.

Tanner replaced Faye and took my hands in his. “I am relieved to see you here. We didn’t lose hope that you would be returned, but that hope didn’t lessen our fears. After what happened to you and…and Merle, I couldn’t…” He trailed off, lips tightening in a grimace as he cleared his throat.

A ball formed in the back of my throat as I squeezed his hands. “I know.”

His pale eyes searched mine. “I am relieved to see you up and moving about, but are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“You know,” Caden began as Tanner let go of my hands, “I was saying just the same thing to her.”

“I’m ready. Besides, I think getting up and moving around will help with the whole healing thing. Anyway,” I cut in before Caden could reply. “I hope I didn’t interrupt your meeting,”

Tanner appeared as if he wished to say that I had, but he seemed to know better than to say that in front of Caden. “Not at all.” His lie was so smooth, it brought a faint smile to my face. I knew that Tanner liked me—well, liked me when I wasn’t calling Caden names. But I also suspected that he would not be pleased to learn that there was a relationship between Caden and me. Then again, I imagined he already knew that something was going on. “We were discussing a few important details—”

“That can easily be discussed later,” Caden interjected. I had a feeling it was about Caden’s impending engagement. I doubted that Tanner knew it had been canceled.

The male fae nodded. “Of course.”

“I’m actually glad you guys came by,” I said, moving so I sat on the chair across from a square ottoman. Caden’s head tilted to the side as he watched me. “I remembered something that Aric said—something I think you all need to know.”

Tanner sat in the other chair, and Faye moved to stand behind him. “What is it?”

“I wish I’d remembered this sooner,” I said, almost apologetically. “But things have been...” Kind of a mess in my head? I didn’t say that.

“It’s okay. I understand,” Caden said. “They understand.”

I lowered my gaze and took a deep, steady breath, clearing my thoughts. “Aric said that someone within the Summer Court has been helping him.”

Tanner went stiff while Faye became alert, but it was Caden’s reaction that I saw the most. He’d gone impossibly still, his chest barely rising as his jaw became as hard as granite. The air above his head seemed to ripple, reminding me of how flames distorted the air. My breath caught as the faintest outline of a…of a crown began to appear on his head.

“Go on,” he said, his voice deceptively level.

My heart thrummed as I stared at him. I’d only see the flaming, burnt crown and sword once before. Both seemed to have appeared out of thin air, and then disappeared again into it. The near presence was both fascinating and unsettling.

I swallowed. “He said that it was a member of the Summer Court who wished to see the return of Queen Morgana,” I told them. “I think…I think he went to meet with this fae while he had me.”

“Impossible,” breathed Tanner. “No Summer fae would ever want such an atrocity as she to breach this world.”

“Did he ever say how he planned to do so?” Caden asked.

I remembered, and I wasn’t sure if telling him would cause that crown to make a complete appearance. “He said that it was unlikely for you to complete the prophecy, but he believed he could force you to open the gates. Is that possible? Can you open the gates without the prophecy?”

A muscle ticked in Caden’s jaw. “I can.”

That seemed to be news to both Tanner and Faye. “How?” she asked.

“If properly motivated, I could open a gateway,” Caden said, the air settling above his head as his gaze held mine.

“You mean you could simply open one?” Faye asked. “Like turn a doorknob and…bam, it’s open?”

My heart started pounding as flickers of memories surged. Aric had been searching for the King’s mortuus, believing that he could use the person to force the King to open the gateway. It wasn’t until he figured out that I’d been given the Summer Kiss that he realized I was the mortuus.

“Yes,” Caden answered. “Obviously, that is information not widely known, and it needs to stay that way.”

“Obviously,” Tanner sputtered. “Especially with the Order. They would view you as a threat—”

“And that would be the last thing they ever viewed if so.” Caden snarled, and a shiver of goosebumps spread across my flesh. His golden eyes burned. “It’s not something I would do.”

Unless.

That one word wasn’t spoken, but I knew it hung in the silence between us.

And that was the moment I knew Caden’s reaction had more to do with what Aric could’ve shared with this Summer fae. Aric could’ve told the fae traitor that I was the King’s mortuus. His greatest weakness that could be used to control him.

“You can’t stay here,” Caden said. “You will stay with me.”

My mouth dropped open in surprise. Partly because I hadn’t thought he’d say something like that in front of Tanner and Faye, and also because he thought he could just state that and I’d go along with it.

“I’m not planning to stay here forever,” I told him. “Luce said I just need to stay the rest of the week, and then I can go home.”

“I don’t want you to live here. I want you at my place where I can make sure you’re safe. If you don’t want to go to my place, I’ll take you to yours. Luce will just have to deal with that.”

A tumbling motion swept through my stomach. Caden and I staying together couldn’t happen. I obviously didn’t have the willpower necessary to keep from kissing him within five seconds of seeing him. There was no way I could do what I needed to do if he was living with me. No way at all.

Caden’s eyes narrowed.

I squared my shoulders as I lifted my chin. “I don’t recall asking you to stay with me or giving you permission.”

“I don’t recall needing either of those things.”

“Are you serious?” I demanded, rising to my feet. “Of course, you need my permission to stay at my house.”

He glared up at me. “Under normal circumstances, yes. But when it’s to keep you out of harm’s way, I don’t.”

“Yeah, that’s not some unspoken law or something. And even if it were, I don’t need to follow it. I’m not fae. You’re not my King.”

“Um,” Faye murmured, shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

“I know exactly what I am to you.” Caden rose to his full height, but he didn’t step toward me. I gaped at him. “This isn’t up for discussion.”

“That we can agree on, because you’re not staying with me.”

His smile was slow, predatory. “Then you’re staying with me.”

“No, I’m not!” I shouted. “I’m staying here until I can go home at the end of the week and sleep in my own bed—”

“I like where this is heading,” he cut in.

Tanner made a choking sound.

I stepped forward. “By myself. I’m going home at the end of the week. By myself.”

He quirked a brow. “We’ll see.”

Anger flashed through me hotly. “We won’t see crap. You’re not—”

“Okay. Let’s all take a breather.” Tanner had stood, holding up his hands. “No matter where Brighton decides to go at the end of the week, I am sure that she is not in any danger here. Aric is dead, and if what he said was true, which is unlikely, no Summer fae would seek to harm her, especially not here.”

“I will rip the skin from any fae who even has the smallest inkling of looking at her in a way I do not like,” Caden bit out.

My eyes widened. “That’s a bit excessive.”

Caden didn’t take his gaze from me. “That’s your opinion.”

My hands curled into fists. “That’s a mentally healthy opinion.”

“You know damn well that it’s not excessive,” he all but growled.

“If you’re worried about Brighton’s safety, I’m sure that Ivy or even Faye would be willing to stay with her after she leaves. I will also make sure she’s watched while here,” Tanner tried again, and Faye nodded while I bristled at the idea of being under surveillance, even if necessary.

“I will make sure she is safe here,” Caden replied.

Tanner appeared beyond flustered. “I mean this with all due respect, my King, I know that Brighton is important to you, but you must think about how this will look to Tatiana and her brother.”

Caden’s head snapped in his direction. “Do I appear as if I remotely care how it looks?”

The breath I took was as sharp as the one I knew Tanner inhaled. “You should care,” I told him, and I had no idea how he didn’t crack his neck with how fast he turned those furious eyes on me.

I had a feeling that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would be tantamount to me taking out an ad announcing that I was his mortuus.

Thank God that Faye spoke when she did. “Not to interrupt this very awkward conversation, but a Summer fae wanting the Queen to enter the human world? Do you really think one of our own would be working with Aric? With the Winter fae?”

“As if it hasn’t happened before,” Caden snapped. “Let’s not forget that Aric was one of my closest confidants. He was my Knight. So, it’s not just possible, it’s extremely likely.”