The Mafia and His Obsession, Part 2 Read Online By Lylah James - Read The Mafia and His Obsession, Part 2(19) Online free

Chapter 18

Valerie

Don’t leave me.

Don’t hate me.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t hate me.

My whole body trembled, my heart shaking with the aftershock of what just happened. Tremors coursed through my body, making me dizzy, and the room seemed to spin out of focus.

Stay.

Hold me.

Please.

I blinked, realizing that tears were building up in my eyes. The small salty droplets spilled onto my cheeks, but I didn’t have the energy to swipe them away.

I felt lightheaded. My body was weak. My heart was heavy. My soul was cracking.

Each breath I took, I felt a crack in the marrow of me. There was a harsh whisper in my ears, taunting me with each beat of my heart.

Weak. Used. Disgusting. Sick.

I felt the way my chest tightened and the way my heart seemed to give way under the pressure.

Pain. So much pain…an agony that was eating the inside of me, burning me with flames and acid pouring into my veins.

It was a silent torment I endured.

It was harsh and unyielding.

No escape.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

Valentin had used me many times before. He had forced me to feel pleasure many times before, against my own will. Many times I tried to fight it. My brain refused to acknowledge what he was forcing my body to feel, and every time I’d lose.

The drugs were more powerful than my will to fight against his torturous touch.

I was exhausted to the bone, and couldn’t hold myself upright any longer. My legs started to shake like a newborn fawn, and I felt cold, chilled to the point that my teeth were chattering.

Viktor noticed, and he stepped forward.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

My gaze was still fixated on him, and he didn’t look away. He walked around the glass shards that were now on the floor.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

My teeth clattered louder, and I clenched my jaw. Viktor came closer, until he was standing so close, his warmth started to seep into my pores.

My body wasn’t my own and there was pull. An undeniable, invisible pull between us.

Viktor wrapped his arms around my hips, and I fell into his embrace.

Warmth.

Safe.

Home.

My love.

He was everything I needed right now.

I sank into him, folding myself into his arms and wishing I could burrow under his bones and hide into his soul. We could hide there, and it could be our beautiful happy ending.

I savored his warmth, and I inhaled his spicy, minty scent. There was a heavy smell of alcohol, but I ignored it. Instead, I continued to breathe him in, inhaling a scent that only belonged to my Viktor.

He smelled of me. He smelled of home.

He smelled of heaven, and I closed my eyes.

My soldier. My fallen warrior.

My guardian Angel.

My lover.

And the only person who had ever held my heart in the palms of his hands.

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I let out an ugly sob. My fingers dug into his chest, my nails clawing at his skin. I cried, sobbing for us.

Beneath the pain, there was a crippling fear inside me. It loomed over me, riddling my heart with darkness and stabbing me.

I shuddered and held onto Viktor tighter.

“Don’t…leave…”

It was a choke sound coming from my parched throat.

Viktor’s arm tightened around my hips and then I was being lifted into his arms, bridal style. He carried us to the bathroom and settled me over the edge of the tub. When he pulled away, my heart slammed into my ribcage.

Panic overwhelmed me, and I lurched forward, trying to reach for him, to hold him and to never let go. My legs gave out underneath me, and I fell to ground.

Weak. Weak. So weak.

Viktor lifted me into his arms again, and this time, he sat down with me on his lap. My hands shook as I brought them up to his face, making him look at me.

He was so silent…far away, away from me.

It scared me.

The fear intensified, and my face crumpled up as I started sobbing once again. My chest heaved with each ugly cry.

“Don’t…leave…”

Don’t leave me.

Don’t hate me.

Viktor stayed silent, his lips not moving. He didn’t give me his words, and I was left feeling as if I had just lost something more important than my life itself.

My strength.

Him.

My Viktor.

Was this it? Would he walk away now? Leaving me behind?

My bruised, bleeding lips parted, and I almost begged.

Begged him to stay. Begged him to love me.

Before I could stay the words, Viktor was moving. With me still on his lap, he reached forward and opened the tap. The tub started to fill with warm water, and I couldn’t look away, watching the water rise and feeling my heart beat against my ribcage, like a violent storm.

Viktor never let me go, his hold on me tight and unyielding. He kept me close to his body, my head on his chest.

He also didn’t speak. His lack of words cut me sharply, hurting me more than Valentin’s touch. I fought back the tears threatening to spill once again.

Swallowing back my cries, I stayed silent too.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t hate me.

Please.

Once the tub was filled, he started to lower my naked body into the water. My muscles ached and protested with the movement, but I forced myself to relax into the warmth. Viktor’s gaze whispered over my face before moving lower, resting over my chest. My nipple was on fire where Valentin had bit me. My lips were throbbing too. My whole body was in pain, pulsing and aching.

I fought the urge to hide, to cover my shame. My breathing turned into hiccups panting, and I wrapped my arms around me, trying to shield my nakedness.

Viktor was the last person I wanted to see me like this.

The last person to witness my husband defile me.

Yet, here he was.

He witnessed it all, and he was still here…going through the aftermath with me.

Viktor started to move, but my arms latched onto him. My eyes met his, and I begged him silently.

Don’t leave me.

Don’t hate me.

Please. Please. Please. Plea—

“I need—” he started but then paused. He clenched his jaw shut and his eyes grew darker, pained. It appeared as if he were clearing this throat, trying to find his voice once again.

I watched his lips when he finally spoke. “I just need to get the soap.”

He nodded toward the end of the tub, but I refused to let go of his arm. Viktor didn’t pull away. No, he stayed where he was and only reached forward to grab what he needed.

I felt my mouth move, felt the words on my lips when I spoke. I wasn’t sure if he heard me but I tried again, louder…needing him to hear me.

Please.

“Hold me.” So I can break in your arms and you can soothe me.

Viktor’s eyes grew darker. His body stiffened, and he seemed so lost in his thoughts, so far away from here.

He took a deep breath and gave me a small nod. Why wouldn’t he speak?

Have I lost you, Viktor?

Was this the end for us?

The thought hurt me…it sliced through me, sharp knives digging through my skin, trying to carve themselves toward my already bleeding heart. It hurt me more than Valentin could ever.

Viktor made me move forward a few inches in the tub, and then he climbed in behind me. His body was warm and hard against my back, and I closed my eyes, releasing the longest sigh.

My body relaxed into Viktor, and I let his strength pour into my veins. When he grabbed my chin and moved my head to the side, I opened my eyes and looked into his beautiful, deadly face.

Mine.

Just like I was his.

Except…

“Don’t…leave…hold me.”

Viktor made sure I was watching his mouth when he spoke again. “I am never leaving you, Valerie.”

My heart thundered at his vow, and my body weakened under his words.

“Never?”

“My sweet myshka, leaving you would leave a stain on my soul. And I can’t bear the thought of being apart from you.”

His arm covered my chest, bringing me close into his body. I palmed his cheek, rubbing the sharp edges of his bearded jaw with my thumb. He hadn’t shaved for a few days, it appeared. He looked…lethal. In a beautiful, poetic way.

“I thought…”

“What did you think?” he pushed.

“I thought…you hated me. That you couldn’t look at me…because you’ll only see what Valentin has done to my body,” I confessed quietly, ripping apart my heart with each heavy word.

Viktor was shaking his head before I could even finish my sentence. “I could never hate you, baby.”

“You were so silent,” I choked and hiccupped back a sob. “It scared me.”

“I was silent because I thought you hated me. Guilt tasted bitter on my tongue, Valerie. I let him touch you and I couldn’t do anything. I was so goddamn helpless. I am a useless fucking man, and I couldn’t protect you like I had vowed to do.”

I couldn’t hear his voice, but in my head, I imagined each word was laced with fury. I saw it on his face, the way his expression changed, the wild untamed look in his dark eyes, and the way his jaw tightened under my touch.

“I failed you, Valerie. How can you look at me and not be…angry?”

Clumsily, I turned myself around so I was facing him. I straddled his hips with my thighs and folded my arms behind his neck. Placing our cheeks together, I held him and then whispered in his ears. “I can never hate you. I am not angry. This…wasn’t in your hands. I understand that. And I…thank you. For…for…taking over. I needed you to do that and you saved me in the only way you could. I’d rather you touched me in that moment, while I was high on drugs, than have Valentin touch me in ways I couldn’t stand.”

My eyes burned with unshed tears at the memories assaulting me over and over in my head. Closing my eyes, I let the tears spill over, and I sniffled away my cries, but it was so hard. So so hard to keep it all in when I was in Viktor’s arms.

In his embrace, the way he held me so tenderly, it felt as if he had opened a door to my all emotions. I could no longer keep it all inside. All the years of torture…the years of pain…all the anger…all the hurt…everything till tonight, they all spilled out through my cries.

Viktor soothed a hand behind my back, caressing my skin so gently. His touch was a feather, soothing the aches and touching my soul at the same time.

The wings on my back had been ripped apart and the blisters on my feet were raw. I had gone through hell many times, and every single time, Valentin had crushed me with his bare hands.

But tonight was the nightmare I never wanted to experience.

Whenever my husband would hurt me, I expected it. I was always somewhat prepared for it.

What happened today, it was not new to me.

Yes, the drugs were much stronger.

Yes, the side effect made everything worse.

But that was not it. That wasn’t my breaking point.

Valentin could rape me, and every time, I would somehow find a way to fix myself and put the pieces back together.

He had never crushed my soul and damaged me in ways I could not come back from.

Yes, he would use my body. He’d mess with my head. He’d break my heart.

But my soul was never broken.

Tonight, though, he found a way to break me.

Viktor.

He brought my Viktor here, in this room.

My Viktor watched us while my husband defiled me in the filthiest ways.

The man I had grown to adore…and love, he watched me break, he watched another man fuck me.

Shame and guilt choked me, and I breathlessly released a harsh, wounded cry.

Viktor always knew what was being done to me at the hands of Valentin Solonik, but he was never there to witness it. It was something I had always been thankful for.

At least my Viktor didn’t have to see me being tainted with the touch of a filthy man, a man other than him.

He didn’t have to see me like this, broken and used like a paid whore.

I had just been a pretty doll for Valentin to break. After he’d use me the way he wanted, he’d always discard me like a worthless slave. Thoroughly used and no longer holding his interest.

He wanted to watch the life fade from my eyes and he almost did succeed.

Every breath of air had felt like it was being sucked from my body. My lungs were collapsing and I wanted to cry, to scream…to wail my agony to the skies.

But I suffered silently, refusing to give Valentin power over me. He’d never hear my voice; he’d never hear me scream the way he wanted me to.

When Viktor had came forward and replaced Valentin’s revolting touch with his own tender ones, it saved me. My wilting heart was no longer trembling, and the pieces were no longer falling apart.

Even with Valentin there, his presence so harsh and sickening, Viktor’s touch had resurrected me.

I pulled back enough to look into his eyes. “You don’t understand how much you mean to me and how much I need you. I wish you knew…I wish you knew how scared I am of losing you.”

Viktor sat forward, the water sloshing outside the tub with his sudden movement. He gripped my hips and encased me into his body. “Lose me? How can you lose me? Never. I am right here, Valerie. Right. Fucking. Here.”

“I thought…I am…” I was crying too hard to even form a proper sentence.

His words had been a balm to my burning soul.

“I am…filthy,” I whispered.

Viktor closed his eyes as if my confession had hurt me. When he opened them once again, his gaze was filled with determination.

“Don’t move. Let me wash you,” he said.

My body stilled at his command. He nodded in satisfaction. There was a hint of pride in his eyes…but it couldn’t be.

The way he stared at me as if I were his sun. His moon. His stars. And the sky.

I love you.

I opened my mouth to say the words…but I couldn’t.

Fear held me back, so instead, I let Viktor wash me. Like something fragile, he lathered up my body gently. His cum was sticky on my body, but he tenderly rubbed them away with water and soap. Viktor was extra gentle with my bruised chest and I sighed, my eyes closing.

After he was done, he stood up with me still latched around him, my legs around his hips. He let the water drain and refilled the tub. Once the tub was ready again, he sat us into the warm water.

Viktor touched my chin, making sure I was looking up at his face. “There. You are all clean now, Valerie. You are not filthy. You are not broken. And you aren’t weak. Valentin sees you as a whore, but I see you…” He paused, his eyes searching my face. “I still see you as my sweet, beautiful swan. You are still mine. I am still yours. Valentin can’t change that, baby.”

My sweet, beautiful swan.

“He destroyed it,” I whimpered. “Our paper swan.”

Viktor leaned forward and his lips feathered over mine, a slight whisper of a touch, and it was the most beautiful kiss he had ever given me…the most beautiful kiss I had ever experienced.

Kiss me.

Kiss me sweetly.

Never stop.

Kiss me the way heaven meets the blue skies, where the sun rises and sets at the horizon. Kiss me the way the moon makes love to the night.

His lips moved over mine in a slow dance. It sent shivers down to my toes even though I was cocooned with Viktor’s warmth and the hot water.

When he pulled back, Viktor tapped his lips once, wanting my attention there. I stared, waiting for him to speak. “You are my swan, and that is enough.”

“I love you.”

My eyes widened.

Viktor stilled.

My heart thundered.

Viktor’s mouth went slack.

I love you.

Those words…they came from me.

The realization made me close my eyes. My stomach twisted and tightened. Oh God. How foolish could I be?

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Viktor didn’t say anything. I kept my eyes closed, and then he moved, lifting us from the water. He kept both hands under my bottom when I tried to slide down his body in an effort to escape my stupid confession.

But Viktor didn’t let me go. I was forced to keep my legs wrapped around his waist and blindly let him walk us back into the room.

There, he settled me on my feet. I peeked at him through my lashes to see him ripping the filthy bedsheets from the bed and throwing them onto the ground. Before I could blink, he then had me laid down on the cold mattress, and Viktor settled over my body. My legs widened to accommodate his body and weight.

Viktor’s dark eyes held something I couldn’t explain. His pupils were dilated and his gaze never wavered from mine.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

It was as if…he was staring right through me, seeing the depth of me.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

I could feel his heart beating against mine.

His body was so warm over mine, and he chased the cold of the mattress away.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

His lips parted…

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

Was he going to speak?

Would he accept my confession? Refuse me? Leave me behind?

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

Maybe…maybe he didn’t love me. Not like I loved him.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

My chin wobbled, but I clenched my jaw.

The paper swan was broken…shattered…crumpled…on the floor.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

What if…what if we were the paper swan?

Broken. Shattered. Crumpled.

Viktor touched my cheek, and I almost sobbed. His palm caressed me, and then he nudged my nose with his, a slight teasing touch.

“My sweet myshka…”

Relief made me weak.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

My heart sang, a wild note to the music of Viktor’s own heartbeat.

“How do I explain my feeling…”

“Tell me,” I whispered.

His lips quirked up, a little smile at my command.

“You make me lust for you, in a way I have never before.” My heart flinched at his words, and it sank to the pit of my stomach. Was that just it…was that all between us?

Viktor shook his head, still smiling. “No. Not the way you are thinking. I don’t lust for your body, even though that is one thing I admire deeply. I lust for the way you look at me and the way you caress me with your gaze. I obsess over the way you stare into my soul and dance with my demons. I lust for you to speak with your sweet, unused voice and for you to dance…like a beautiful graceful swan. I lust for you, my sweet Valerie.”

He stroked my face gently, swiping the tears away. “I can feel your heart…it’s beating so fast.”

For you.

My throat closed up, but I had to push these words out. “I love you.”

He closed his eyes and released a shuddering breath. “I know.”

“Do you love me?”

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Viktor opened his eyes again. “I love you sweetly. And I love you savagely,” he confessed to me.

Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.

My innocence had long been taken away from me.

My spirit had long been crushed.

But it was Viktor who had claimed my heart.

It was Viktor who had made love to my soul.