The Mafia and His Obsession, Part 2 by Lylah James
Chapter 35
Viktor
The moment I woke up, I knew something was different. I felt it. It wasn’t like the other days since we came back from Russia. Every morning, I’d wake up with an invisible weight on my chest, pushing me down and refusing to let me up, to let me breathe normally.
But this morning felt different.
My heart kicked, and my lungs seemed to be working fine. The weight that was once there had disappeared. Warmth spread through my chest, and I looked down at my side, where Valerie was curled up against my body. She had an arm across my chest, holding me in her sleep.
She started to stir too, slowly coming awake. The room was bright with the early morning sunlight, and once she opened her eyes, the beautiful hazel orbs sparkled up at me.
I had had plenty of women in my bed before, but nothing hit me like seeing Valerie in my bed, in this state, completely sated and…happy. A timid smile brushed her lips and she blinked up at me, watching me, studying me. My arm tightened where it was wrapped around her hips.
“Good morning,” I whispered gruffly with emotions clogging my throat.
Valerie slowly sat up beside me, and the blankets bunched over her lap. When she replied sweetly, I swore my heart did that fluttering shit people would talk about. “Good morning.”
She got me high on her, and all I wanted to do was crawl inside her gentle soul and live in it for the rest of my life.
Last night, I found forgiveness in her touch.
I found redemption in her kisses.
And I found love in her eyes.
I thought I lost her. I really did. For days, I’d been preparing myself for the moment she’d tell me it was over. She’d walk away and I wouldn’t be able to stop her.
Valerie was free now, and I couldn’t trap her in this place if she didn’t want to be here. Maybe I could convince her…beg her…but I needed her to be happy.
And if she was happy without me, then it was a fact I had to learn to accept. As harsh as it was. As much as it hurt. As much as it killed me, I was preparing myself to let her go.
Except now…
Last night…
My sweet Valerie was now sitting in my bed like a fucking fantasy. No, she wasn’t just a fantasy. She was more. Unreal. So damn beautiful. Chest-punching beautiful. Her blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, the thick strands caressing her naked skin as they fell over her breasts. Her pink tight nipples peeked through, subtle enough for my imagination but not enough for me to see everything I wanted to see. The sun kissed her skin like an unspoken, enthralling ballad. When she blinked at me sleepily, but her eyes smiling nonetheless, it was another punch in my guts.
She was an image of divinity and this must be heaven.
“I’m going to take a shower.” Her voice cut through my thoughts, and I watched as she got off the bed, the sheets still wrapped around her body.
Valerie stood there for a second before she slowly let the white bedsheets unravel from her body. It slid down her pale skin sensuously, and my eyes gladly feasted on her naked body. There was a timid smile on her lips, and I caught the flashing mischief in her gaze before she turned away and shuffled to the bathroom. The door closed behind her, but I had a feeling it wasn’t locked.
I got off the bed too and went to the door, turning the knob around to see that I was right. She left it open for me, a clear invitation to join her.
And I did exactly that. How could I disappoint my woman?
Valerie was facing away from me when I joined her in the shower and closed the foggy glass doors behind me. She wiggled her body closer and let out the smallest giggle when I rubbed my hands over her slick hips and soapy arms. She had sensitive and ticklish skin.
She smelled of vanilla and chamomile, her favorite scent to use as shampoo and shower cream. It was sweet and natural. I loved that about her.
When my lips grazed the sensitive spot behind her ear, her thighs quaked and she let out a breathy sigh. I missed seeing her like this. Open and carefree. Happy and smiling. The last few days had been a fucking nightmare. The thought itself left me with a dull ache in my chest, and I had to shake my head, forcing myself to push away all the bad, ugly memories.
I focused on her instead.
“If we shower together every day, we’d save water,” I muttered into Valerie’s ear.
She let out a haughty laugh. “I don’t think it’ll work like that. I have a feeling we’d just end up using more water until it runs cold.”
Well, she had a point.
We were both bare of clothing, already slick with water. I could just…slide in between her legs, find her sweet, wet spot and sink home. My dick approved of that idea because it twitched in excitement, pressing between the juncture of Valerie’s thighs. She smacked my arm and moved out of my embrace.
“I’m hungry. Hurry up and let’s shower,” she chastised.
Yeah, sweet girl. I am hungry too. For her body and all the bad things I could do to her.
I leaned back and watched as she put on a show for me. She was sly, my sweet myshka. Valerie knew exactly what she was doing. Teasing me, but not letting me touch her the way I wanted.
She rubbed the shower cream over her body; her pale but slightly rosy skin from the hot water, was now partially hidden by all the soap. The vixen took her nipples between her fingers and teased the tips into tight, straining buds, a dangerous seductive move that almost made me bend her over right fucking there. But she tsked, waving a finger at me as if to tell me to stay where I was.
“No touching, Viktor,” she breathed. “We will be late for breakfast.”
Her hand continued down, past her stomach and more. She spread her legs slightly before she slid two fingers over her lower lips.
“Valerie,” I groaned in warning. Fucking shit. She was testing all my goddamn limits.
Her lips tilted up in return. “Whoops.”
Valerie kept her gaze on me when she removed her hand between her legs. Then she shrugged, quite nonchalantly before washing away all the lathered-up soap.
“You still haven’t showered yet. Don’t just stand there, Viktor.”
She pressed her lips together, hiding her laughter at my mock glare. After quickly lathering up my body too and then washing away all the soap, all in a record-breaking time, we both stepped out of the shower. We wrapped our towels around us, seeking refuge from the sudden cold air.
I grabbed my razor and set to shave off the few days’ old stubble. Valerie took her place on the counter beside me, sitting right next to the sink as she watched me shave. Her towel was still wrapped around her naked body. She regarded me silently, her head cocked to the side, with her wet hair falling over her right shoulder.
“Ayla came to me last night. We had a little talk.”
Suddenly curious, my gaze found hers. “Yeah?”
Valerie’s eyes lingered below my hips for a moment too long and then lifted back to mine. Her cheeks turned pink once she realized she had been caught ogling me. I walked closer to her, where she was still sitting over the vanity and wedged myself between her thighs. “What did she say?”
She shrugged. “She is just not what I expected. She is…sweet and very understanding.”
I found myself smiling at that. Thank fuck for that. Valerie needed someone who understood her, and Ayla couldn’t be better for that. “I knew you two would get along very well.”
She hummed, falling silent once again. Valerie looked thoughtful, and I brushed my fingers over her arms, trying to get her attention. Her skin had turned a little chilly from the cool air and I rubbed my palms over her naked flesh, trying to focus the warmth where she needed them.
“I understand now why you were in love with her.”
Her words had been so sudden, out of the blue, that I stumbled back a step. “What?” I choked out, appalled and suddenly speechless.
“She is the one, right? I remember. You once said you felt something very deeply for a girl but you couldn’t have her. You said she taught you how to feel. It’s Ayla, isn’t it?”
How did she…?
Was it that obvious?
“I thought I loved her,” I started and then broke off, shaking my head. How do I explain this?
Since meeting Valerie and realizing how deep my feelings went for her, I also quickly learned the difference between what I had felt for Ayla and what I was feeling for Valerie. I had simply been fascinated by Ayla. It was more intricate than that, but in simpler words…what I felt for Ayla didn’t hold a candle to what Valerie meant to me.
“I love the idea of her. Of who she was and what she was with Alessio. Yes, I felt something for Ayla. I care deeply for her, still do. I was in love with the idea of love. I wanted what they had. I craved it more than I can ever describe in words. I would go as far to say I was jealous of them, and the more time I spent with Ayla, around them when they were together…I couldn’t tell the difference anymore. I mistook that feeling for love. But since meeting you, myshka, I know the difference now. I know what it means to love…and to be in love.”
Ayla was my infatuation. Valerie…well, she was more. So much more.
Valerie nodded but otherwise stayed silent. The contesting emotions of her soul flashed from her hazel eyes. It was quick and gone before I could comprehend the look she gave me. I didn’t know what it was, but I couldn’t have her doubt my feeling for her. If she was insecure about Ayla, it was my duty as her man to erase those thoughts.
I cupped her cheeks, lifted her face up, and our gazes locked. I held her there and leaned forward, my mouth brushing hers so lightly it barely touched. She sucked in a shuddering breath. I kissed the corner of mouth again and her pouty pink lips parted. “She was my addiction. You are my obsession,” I confessed, my voice a little gruff.
Valerie hesitated for a moment before speaking her mind. “It’s the same thing, isn’t it?”
Just like her, I thought so too. Until everything had finally become clear to me. The difference was intricate, difficult to really understand. But once you’d gone through both emotions, traveled down both paths…it was easy to separate the two.
“No, it’s not. Addiction is something you can get over with time and therapy. It’s not easy but it can be done. You’re addicted to something for a time, until you find something else to be addicted to. Therapy is key. One way or another, you can and will break that habit if you truly want. But once you are obsessed, you can’t ever get over it. It’s embedded deep inside you—your soul. It becomes a part of you. No amount of trying can pierce it out and replace it with something else. It’s like carving out a part of yourself, your heart. It will leave you bleeding. It’s a wound you can’t easily stitch back together. And when you bleed non-stop, you will eventually stop breathing. An obsession becomes the key to your survival. So, Valerie…I am utterly and irrevocably obsessed with you. To some people, it’s not even fucking healthy. It’s toxic. They would tell you to run far, very far away from me. I am what people call a predator, sweet myshka.”
There was a soft, almost hopeful look on her face. At the expression, the beating organ in my chest swelled like a fucking love-sick puppy. Me—Viktor Ivanshov—officially pussy whipped and love-sick. Who would have thought? This wasn’t exactly how I predicted my future, but the turn of events wasn’t so bad. I liked this. Us. Valerie and me.
I brushed the hair back from her face, tucking the golden locks behind her ears. Valerie leaned into my touch, almost unconsciously. As if she were drawn to my touch, just like I was to hers.
Her palm landed on my chest and she gave me a smile, stealing my breath right from my goddamn lungs. Fuck, I was a weak man when it came to her. One fucking smile and I was ready to fall to my knees in front of her.
“Even if I had a chance to run away, I wouldn’t. I can’t. My heart is right here, forged with yours. It belongs with you. You’re my home, Viktor.”
Yeah, this must be love. This had to be love.
“Myshka—”
Her gaze was filled with adoration and honesty. I could see it all, a reflection of my own. Her hand stroked my bare chest, her fingers absently dancing across the edge of dark ink etched into my skin.
Her voice was a hoarse whisper when she spoke again. “Viktor, you’ve touched me in places that your hands and your lips can’t reach. You’ve touched me from the inside, held my heart and made love to my soul. And that’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. We have stumbled along the way. We experienced grief. We experienced passion. We’ve seen it all together, and I am not leaving. I want you. I love you. I truly do.”
My mouth crashed down on hers, drinking in the essence of her. I swallowed her words, drunk on her. She gasped into my mouth and then melted into my arms, her lips moving in sync with the kiss I bestowed on her. We kissed in a frenzied rhythm. Our lips created a whole fucking melody. She consumed me. Fiercely. Utterly. In return, I stole every breath from her. Like a starving thief, craving for something I never had, but now belonged to me, I stole her heartbeats, each of them.
It was hard to tear myself away from the bliss of her touch, her kiss, her goddamn perfect lips, but I forced myself to pull away. Her nails dug into my skin in response. “Why did you pull away? Kiss me again,” Valerie demanded, her chest rising and falling with each breath.
“I am going to be difficult to live with, Valerie. I can be overbearing. I’m probably going to fuck up. Majorly. I can be an asshole sometimes—”
“I think I can handle you quite well,” she said, her lips quirking up a little. I chuckled at the sight of her smirking. She probably mastered that look from me.
“I wish I could introduce you to my parents,” she suddenly whispered.
The beat of my heart stuttered, and my fingers tightened on her hips. My body went cold at the mention of her parents, and all the air left my lungs in a shuddering breath.
“Valerie…about your parents…”
She brought a hand up and her fingers pressed against my lips, shushing me. “I know what you are going to say, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to see them again, Viktor. I am free, I know that. I can reunite with them now. But I can’t…”
Her words came out choked, and she refused to meet my gaze, her eyes falling to where my neck met my shoulders. “It’s been so many years and I don’t know how to feel about everything…about them. They were supposed to protect me. They were supposed to save me, but now it just feels like they somehow abandoned me. Sometimes, I feel like maybe…maybe they forgot about me, they forgot I ever existed. It’s been seven years, Viktor. If I go back now, won’t I be disrupting their lives? Maybe they have moved on, maybe they’re no longer in pain…maybe it’s better this way. I’d rather let them live their lives and I’ll live mine. Here. With you. With your family—”
“Our family,” I interrupted, my tone harsher than I intended. “They are yours as much as they are mine.”
Valerie nodded with a sad smile. Her hand landed on my chest and her fingers caressed the tattoo there. “I’m scared,” she admitted softly.
“Of what?”
“Of their rejection. I’d rather not face them because their reaction would gut me. Maybe they would be happy to see me, maybe not. Who really knows? But as hard as it is, I would like to leave my family in the past. It is the best thing to do. For them. For me. For us.”
Valerie dragged her nails over my skin and her brows furrowed. Our eyes met and the sorrowful look in hers was still present. “I only have one wish, though. I just want to know if they are happy and safe. If they are, then I can finally move on and leave them in the past, where they belong. If they’re happy, then my sacrifice was not for nothing. That’s all that matters now.”
The blood rushed through my ears, and the drumming beat of my heart grew louder. I wondered if Valerie could hear them.
“You went to find them, didn’t you?” she questioned quietly, as if she knew the answer already. I nodded in silence. “How are they? Are they happy? Safe? What about my sister, Malory?”
The blood rushed through my ears, and the drumming beat of my heart grew louder. I wondered if Valerie could hear them.
I looked into her pretty eyes and lied.
“Yes, they are happy.”
Valerie let out a deep breath, a long sigh, and the light returned in her eyes. “They moved away a few years ago. It was a little hard to track them down. Your sister is all grown up. She is dating a football player. Your father has retired from his job and they opened a local grocery store. Your mother now helps run the store since she retired as a nurse. They are very happy, my sweet myshka.”
She let out a smothered sob. “Good. I am…glad.”
I wrapped my arms around her, anchoring her body into mine. Our warm skin pressed against each other, and I could feel the beat of her heart, matching the same rhythm as mine. “Thank you, Viktor.” She said my name like one would whisper a prayer. As if she were kneeling at the altar, praying for absolution and I was her savior, her guardian fucking Angel.
But I was only a liar.
I stepped out of the black, sleek convertible and faced the two-story house. The neighbourhood looked wealthy and posh enough. So this was where Valerie came from? Her roots…her past.
I walked up to the porch and knocked on the door twice. It was silent on the other side until a few seconds later, I heard a voice calling out.
Finally, the door opened. There stood a woman who appeared to be in her late fifties. Her dark brown hair was pinned up in a messy bun, and she wore black pants and a pink fuzzy sweater. Her gaze swept over me quickly, she blinked a few times and then gave me a tentative smile.
Yeah, I was sure she’d not see a sight like me coming to knock at her door every day.
“Hi…I’m here to meet Valerie,” I introduced myself to the woman. Was this woman her mother? I couldn’t tell. There was no familiarity.
I knew I should have done my research before dropping by her old house, the house she grew up in and the house Valentin stole her from, but I had been in a rush to complete this task. The final seal to Valerie’s past.
I just needed to see how her family was doing after so many years—needed proof and closure for my Valerie. Her wounds were still raw. Her past, present, and future was still messy and in shambles. But I knew she was strong enough to get out of this fucking dark hole, and I would be there, waiting for her to fall back into my arms. Once she would be ready to meet her family again, I’d be the one to take her and introduce myself to her parents.
The woman’s eyebrows rose up and then she slowly shook her head. “Valerie? You mean Valerie Blackwell?”
I nodded, doubt creeping in now. The look on her face didn’t sit well with me. “I am a friend of the Blackwell family. I have been out of the country for a long time and I just came back. We lost contact before but I’d like to see how she was doing.”
The older woman’s lips parted in shock and the blood drained from her face. I met her eyes, keeping her focused and grounded on the spot. She swallowed hard, her face becoming paler, almost ghost-white. What the fuck?
“You don’t know?” she breathed.
I took a step forward. “Know what? What happened?”
She looked back over her shoulder, and when she faced me again, her eyes glistened with tears. She leaned closer as if to whisper a secret. “The house burned down seven years ago. No one survived.”
I reared back, her words echoing in my ears. It was deafening and the blood rushed through my veins furiously. “What?”
She nodded solemnly. “They were all trapped inside. The house burned down to the ground. No survivors. It was such a tragedy. The whole community was shocked by it. So sudden, so quickly. Four lives lost.”
My throat felt parched and my tongue was heavy in my mouth. I couldn’t speak. How was this possible? Valerie said Valentin had pictures of her sister growing up over the years. It had been the only thing keeping her going, alive and surviving through all the fucked-up shit Valentin threw at her.
The woman took my silence as permission to keep speaking. “You say you are a friend of Valerie, right? I am so sorry, dear. She had such a bright future ahead and was a sweet girl. Valerie was a friend of my daughter. They were both ballet dancers at the academy. Her death…” She choked on her words as she trailed off. “…so tragic.”
I stayed frozen on the porch, confused and shaken to the core. She patted my arm, sympathy and pity written all over her face. “Do you want to come in? A cup of coffee maybe. You must have traveled a long way. I am deeply sorry for the news I have given you. Please come in.”
Taking a step back, I shook my head. Her hand fell back to her side. “No, thank you,” I muttered. My gaze studied the house, and I realized that it looked to be new, recently built once again while all the other houses on the same road looked to be a few decades old.
Ah fuck. No fucking way.
I rubbed a hand over my bearded face and turned to walk away from the house. The woman called after me, but I didn’t turn back.
My hands clenched into fists at my side, my knuckles aching under the pressure. I fought the urge to pummel something—someone to the ground. But the person I wanted to see bleed was already dead. At my own hand.
Valentin must have been the one to burn down the house. There was no other logical explanation. It all made sense now. Valerie’s father owed him money. Valerie was the debt that Valentin collected when her father couldn’t pay all the money back. She had been collateral damage. Valentin got what he wanted but after all, he was Solonik. A deceitful man. An unforgiving man.
Valerie’s family thought the debt had been paid. Their daughter’s life for the money they owed. They probably thought everything had been forgiven. But men like Valentin didn’t forgive and forget easily.
So he killed the rest of the family. It was an easy job for him to do. He destroyed any chance of Valerie going back to a normal life once again.
The pressure in my chest became agonizing, and it almost felt like my ribcage was closing tighter around my lungs, suffocating me.
Valentin had fabricated a lie to keep Valerie captive. She thought she was somehow protecting her family, her sister from the wrath of Solonik. But she was only a victim to an elaborate game of life and death.
Her life has been a long lesson of danger, grief, and pain. It was my responsibility now to change that. To protect her. Even if I had to lie to give her a false sense of hope, then I would.
She had lost so much, and I had made a vow. From now on, there would only be good things in her life. There was so much one could bear, and I knew…Valerie had reached the end of her rope. As long as she had me at her side, I’d shield her from any more pain.
Valerie slid closer to me, her body molding mine. Her softness against the hardness of my body. She fit perfectly into the crook of my arms and she buried her head in my chest. I felt her inhale and then exhale. I did the same, catching her sweet scent. It soothed my mind. It soothed my soul.
I never said I was a good man.
I never promised to make good decisions.
Maybe this was wrong…maybe it’d hurt later. Maybe I was lying at the cost of losing her in the future.
But for now, I’d save her from the suffering she’d endure if she knew the truth.
