A Vow Of Hate by Lylah James

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

 

Julianna

 

Killian glanced up my bare body as I straddled him. “Feeling bold today, wife?” His voice was deep and warm, like sweet molasses and melted chocolate.

“You like me bold,” I said, tossing my hair over my shoulders.

His eyes gleamed devilishly. “Arrogance suits you.”

“I am a Spencer now.” His approval of my boldness was evident in his arousal. His erection dug in the curve of my ass as I lowered myself over his thighs. “Bold and arrogant seem like Spencer traits I had to become familiar with.”

Killian threw his phone on the nightstand, finally giving me his undivided attention. He crossed his arms behind his head and gave me a lazy look. “What do you think you’re going to do now?”

I circled his nipple with my thumb, feeling it pucker under my teasing touch before I trailed a finger down his strong abs. “I am going to fuck you,” I breathed, with a newfound confidence that I didn’t have before.

His nostrils flared and his lips twitched into a half-smile. “Tempting,” he rasped. “Don’t disappoint me, wife.”

I was only teasing, but now he had to go and turn this into a challenge. With my hands planted over his chest, I leaned forward so that my breasts were up close to his face.

My nipple brushed over his mouth. “Suck me,” I ordered. “My nipples. I want you to lick and bite me. Make it good. Make it hurt. Don’t disappoint me, husband.”

Killian was always the dominant one in bed and he was, of course, a generous lover but tonight, he has relinquished that tight control. And I was planning to take full advantage of that.

His eyes darkened before he took my aching nipple between his lips. The warm suction of his mouth as he suckled me had my eyes almost rolling in the back of my head. His teeth grazed the tight bud before biting down, enough to hurt. But it was a sweet pain.

I gasped, my hips bucking over his erection. His tongue laved the sting away before he turned his head to the side, giving my other nipple the same careful attention.

All the while, I grinded on his lap. My lust coated the inside of my thighs as I rubbed myself against him. His thick length parted my lower lips, rubbing along my sex as my hips moved back and forth.

“What else?” he questioned roughly.

Instead of responding, I brushed my lips over his. A tender kiss, waiting and testing to see if he’d fight for dominance. Killian’s body tensed but he otherwise remained passive, yielding to my control.

Oh God.

To dominate a man like Killian Spencer was an exquisite feeling. Addictive.

My kiss turned more demanding, my tongue plunging into his mouth – tasting him. He kissed me back, with the same fevered passion. He was intoxicating and I was drunk on him, on the way he felt against my lips, the taste of him and his grunts of pleasure.

When our lips separated, I was breathless, my chest heaving. Sweet hell.

There was nothing more addicting than Killian’s dominance, but his surrender made me ache. I swallowed, before letting out a breathy gasp when the tip of his hardness slid over my sensitive clit.

Killian kept his hands behind his head and he laid still, allowing me free rein over his body. But I noticed the dark glint in his eyes and the way his shoulders were tensed, almost like he was holding himself back from touching me.

My eyes darted between our bodies and my mouth went dry at the sight of his thick erection nestled between us, swollen and hard against my wet and pink sex. His length was coated with my arousal.

I found myself growing more damp at the lewd sight. I liked how seductive and powerful I felt right now and how Killian was carefully restraining himself to allow me this moment.

My hands wandered over his abs, feeling his muscles ripple under my teasing touch. When I reached his pelvis, the only reaction I got from my husband was a sharp intake of breath.

I lifted my hips so I could wrap my hand around his length. He was so big and swollen in my palm as I squeezed him.

I shifted until my entrance was right over his tip. My thighs tightened around him while Killian clenched his jaw. “It’s cruel for you to tease me like this,” he hissed.

“Whoops.”

His chest rumbled with a deep sound. “Julianna.”

“Killian,” I breathed. With our eyes locked on each other, I slowly lowered myself onto his shaft.

Killian grunted in response.

I let out the softest whimper as his thickness stretched me. I paused when he reached the depth of me, my inner walls spasming around him.

“Fuck,” he swore, his voice gravelly. His dark eyes were laced with pure, unadulterated lust. And I reveled in his gaze.

I circled my hips tentatively and Killian groaned. “You’re such a goddamn tease.”

I lifted myself over his hardness, watching my husband grind his jaw as he fought to remain contained. His breathing was ragged, almost painful, and sweat formed over his forehead.

“You feel so good inside me,” I confessed shakily.

I quickly found a rhythm, bouncing up and down on his erection. My nails dug into his chest and his hips jerked up. Finally.

Killian was losing his calm composure and I watched him come undone beneath me.

I leaned forward, still fucking him – and my lips feathered over his. “You’re so big, I like how you stretch me. Almost painfully, but it’s a sweet burn.”

“Goddamn it,” he growled. “Julianna.”

Finally, he snapped.

Killian rose in a seated position, his hands circling my hips, digging hard into my flesh. I was certain his touch would leave bruises tomorrow morning. This new position pushed me farther down onto his cock, the tip of him hitting deep inside of me. My hands flew to his shoulders, nail digging into his flesh.

Fire burned through my veins and my core tightened around him. The deep ache in the pit of my stomach grew fierce, spreading through my body.

I burned.

I ached, with such exquisite pain.

With almost a frantic need, my pace quickened. I bounced up and down on his hard length, taking him inside the tight sheath of my sex, over and over again. Feeling him. Burning for him. Needing him so desperately like I needed my next breath.

His hips bucked every time to meet mine. Our bodies collided together, simply driven by unleashed passion.

Almost too soon, I peaked over the edge and my climax rolled through my body, hard and fast. My back arched and the chords of my neck strained as my eyes fluttered closed.

“Killian,” I gasped. “Oh, oh God!” My mind was fuzzy as my released washed over me, cocooning me like a thick blanket.

My pace slowed as my body grew languid and Killian growled. “Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

He lifted me up in his arms, before thrusting up hard. I cried out, my body spasming.

Killian’s chest rumbled against mine. With a grunt, he flipped us over, losing the rest of his tight control. While I enjoyed his short surrender, I had been waiting for him to snap.

And, he did.

I gasped, my back arching off the bed when Killian pummeled inside me. His hand slid behind me, cupping my ass and raising my hips off the bed. He settled between my thighs, spreading them farther apart until I was wide open for him.

To be taken.

To be devoured.

To be fucked.

Killian pounded inside me, losing the last bit of his control. Thrust. I gasped. Thrust. He grunted. Thrust. I whimpered and he groaned.

His face was hard, eyes gleaming with untamed lust, and his body shuddered as he filled me with his release, his length jerking with spurt after spurt of his seed.

Killian collapsed on top of me, his body strong and warm. My arms curled around his shoulders and he buried his face into the crook of my neck.

“Do you still hate me?” I asked, repeating the very same question every day.

And his answer was always different.

His lips whispered over my pulse in my throat, teeth grazing my sensitive skin. “How can I hate you, Julianna?” he said huskily.

My heart slammed into my rib cage at his choice of words.

Killian propped himself up on his elbows, gazing down at my flushed face. “You’ve dug yourself under my skin, into my bones. You fucking stabbed me in the chest, I’m bleeding for you, Princess. You kill me and I still fucking need you like I need my next breath. I need you as much as I want to destroy you. How is that possible?”

“My love is toxic,” I said, my voice groggy and thick with emotion.

“It’s fucking poison,” he agreed.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I sniffled. “I’m sorry.”

His thumb stroke along my jaw, before brushing over my lips. The mask fell away from his face and I finally saw what he was holding back… the real Killian.

“I did things to you, things I’ll never forgive myself for,” he confessed hoarsely. The look of anguish in his dark eyes broke me.

I shook my head. “I’m not holding it against you.”

His head lowered and our lips met, feverish and needy. There was urgency in our kiss, but also exquisite tenderness. Killian kissed me like he feared I would disappear. My arms tightened around him, while he clung to me.

A tear slid down my scarred cheek.

I found both my redemption and salvation on his lips.

I woke up, my body exhausted, but my mind completely rested. For the first time in three years, I felt peaceful. Like I finally belonged.

The urge to hurt myself wasn’t there. The guilt and despair that used to gnaw at my inside was silent. I stretched before rolling over to grab Killian’s pillow. I pulled it against me and tucked my head into it, inhaling his lasting scent.

A grin spread over my lips, but it fell away when I noticed something different. Something that wasn’t there before.

I blinked, staring at my left hand. Was this–?

My eyes widened and I gasped, sitting up straight. My humongous diamond ring was gone. Replaced by a cushion-cut halo diamond ring. The very same one that Killian gave me the first time we became engaged, before the accident.

When Gracelynn died, I was forced to give up my ring too. Killian had taken it away, thinking that his fiancée was dead and there was no need for the Romano family to keep the engagement ring.

I stared at my left hand, my heart stammering in my chest. Killian must have exchanged the rings while I was asleep.

I missed that side of Killian – the considerate and romantic side of him.

Tears of joy flooded down my cheeks and I clutched my aching chest, not knowing if I should be happy or fearful.

Because whenever I was happy and each time I found solace in the arms of Killian… something bad always happened. Tragedy after tragedy.

I guessed I was afraid to be happy.

But for once, I just wanted to forget all the bad and think of all the good.

So, I quickly shoved away the feeling of dread.

A knock rapped against my door. After securely wrapping the sheets around my naked body, I called for the person to enter. Malay, the housekeeper, walked inside with a tray. “Killian asked me to deliver your late breakfast to you in bed. He said you might be too exhausted to come down,” she said smoothly.

“Oh.” I cleared my throat, fighting back a smile. He was right. I was pretty sore after last night’s activity. Killian took me twice before we fell asleep, tangled in each other’s arm. And then he woke me up in the middle of the night, for a quick fuck. It was hard and fast – the reason why I was sore this morning.

“Is he home?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

She shook her head. “He left for an urgent meeting an hour ago.”

“Okay, thank you.” I smiled.

Malay placed the tray on the coffee table and then excused herself, shutting the door behind her.

The bling on my left hand caught my attention again and I sighed, falling back against my pillows. Today was going to be a good day, I firmly believed.

The smell of warm butter and toast filled the room, teasing my nostrils and I gagged.

What the hell?

Since when did the smell of toast make me want to retch?

I reached for the glass of water on my nightstand and took a big gulp, hoping that it would alleviate the sick feeling in my stomach. But it only made it worse. Bile rose in my throat, tasting acidic on my tongue.

Oh God, I was going to puke.

I sprung out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, kneeling by the toilet – just in time for me to vomit my dinner from last night. I gagged, letting out a pitiful cry.

God, I hated puking.

My stomach churned and I continued gagging, even though I was done vomiting. There was nothing left but bile and an empty stomach. After flushing the toilet, I brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth, trying to get rid of the taste of vomit on my tongue.

It wasn’t until after I had pulled on a dress over my head and the room swayed under my feet that realization dawned on me.

The reason behind my constant exhaustion over the last two weeks; my breasts being extremely sensitive, me being overly emotional and now… puking.

No.

This couldn’t be happening, right?

I quickly counted the dates in the back of my head, only to realize that I was ten days late for my period. I was never late. My period was regular, always on time or some times, a day early. But never late. And especially not by ten freaking days!

How did I miss all these signs?

Rushing to the bathroom, I fumbled through the cabinets and drawers to find the pregnancy test I always kept on me. When my marriage began with a contract, stating that I was practically a walking womb for the Romano and Spencer family, I had to be always prepared.

When I found the pregnancy test, my heart stuttered.

My stomach churned as I peed on the stick and then placed it on a napkin on the counter.

I didn’t know if I was scared or pleased…

Killian and I both knew what was expected from this marriage. An heir. We never used any protection, so this was bound to happen. Eventually. But we never specifically talked about kids.

The deal was for us to go our separate ways once I gave birth.

But that has changed now, right?

Our marriage was no longer a ruse. We were together for real.

Maybe we needed more time together…

Just the two of us.

We lost three years and while our relationship was somewhat stable now, we still needed more time to recover from all that went wrong between us.

Doubt creeped in, slithering into my heart, and I felt nauseous again. I walked away from the pregnancy test and paced the length of the bedroom.

There was anticipation burning under my skin – the thought that I could be carrying Killian’s baby pleased me.

But the worry coursing through my vein unsettled me.

After a few minutes, I started toward the bathroom again. To check for the result of the pregnancy test.

Except, I never reached the bathroom.

There was a rustling sound behind me, strange and uninvited. I fought back a shiver of dread. Someone was in my room…

I had been so consumed by the thought of finding out that I could be pregnant, I hadn’t noticed that there was someone else in the bedroom, other than myself.

My heart leaped in my throat and I lunged for the vase.

Too late.

A heavy arm snaked around my waist, tugging me back into an unfamiliar body and then a hand slammed over my mouth, muffling my scream.

I felt a tiny prick in my right arm, right above my elbow. My body went rigid before I started struggling, trying to escape my captor.

But he was strong and much heavier than me.

Whatever he injected in my veins was making me drowsy and…

No. Please, no.

I tried to struggle but my limbs wouldn’t cooperate.

The room swayed.

My vision blurred.

I heard a familiar voice, but I couldn’t place it.

A small groan rattled from me before my eyes rolled back into my head.

And everything ceased to exist.