Sweet Spot by Stella Rhys

21

LIA

I was floating on a cloud, practically skipping up the stairs of the townhouse as I returned from checking out a gorgeous commercial kitchen on Ninth Avenue. According to Elaine, she had “definite interest” in distribution from a friend who owned a "fairly large gourmet grocery.”

“Whether or not she confirms, I definitely have interest from stores across the five boroughs who would love to carry your product,” she had said on the phone, “so until you find the perfect lease for your store, start looking for commercial kitchen space. Because you’re about to have orders to fill, darlin’. Better get working STAT.”

Adrenaline was still surging through me as I got into my apartment.

It felt like I was finally starting to gain real traction on this business and I could hardly contain my excitement. I was so over the moon that when my phone rang with a call, I didn’t even look before answering with a bright and chipper, “Hello!”

“Lia?”

I stopped in the middle of the stairwell. “Dad?”

“Yes, hello.”

“Oh. Hey!” I said, my lingering brightness effectively masking my surprise. “Um… what’s up?”

“The usual, which is not a whole lot,” he said with what I hoped was content. I couldn’t tell. My father always had what Ritchie would call “old man voice.” It was just kind of a scratchy monotone. I liked to think it would be hard for me to read even if I did know him better.

“So…” I stared at the wall, hearing him lean back in his usual chair, an ugly plaid thing that sat in the corner of his room at Uncle Ted’s house. “What are you doing, Dad?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was just sitting here. I was thinking about you and I don’t usually call when I do because I know you’re busy. But I went ahead today because I had a feeling you’d pick up as happy as you did just now. Because of all the good stuff happening for you lately.”

A smile spread across my lips as I sat right down on the steps. “Yeah. I actually just came back from looking at commercial kitchens to rent. So I can make bigger batches.”

“To sell more?” he asked with as much excitement as his voice could ever muster.

“Yep. I might have a distribution deal with some big grocery store my investor won’t tell me about yet.”

“Wow. Very fancy,” Dad said with a small laugh. Then it was silent for several seconds and I let myself get paranoid that I’d said something wrong or done something to offend him.

“So, what are you up to?” I asked to break the silence.

“You already asked me that. I’m just sitting here,” Dad replied. I couldn’t read his tone. “Well. I guess I was also calling to tell you I might have done something to upset you. I saw Ritchie at the store the day you told me about your investment deal, and I told him about it. I was excited and I didn’t consider that maybe you didn’t want him to know. It’s kind of been weighing on me, so… I’m sorry about that, Lia. I wasn’t thinking.”

My heart melted. “Dad. Really?” I covered my face with my hand and gave a little giggle. “You let that bother you for so long? I’m happy you were so proud of me you couldn’t contain it. Not even to my ex who you don’t even like.”

His laugh crackled into the phone. “Okay then. I’m glad you’re not angry.”

“I’m not.”

“Good. I’m glad,” he said again. Normally, the repetition in our conversations depressed me and made me feel like we were two strangers. But not today. Maybe I was just happy but the conversation we were having felt like the best one we’d had in years. “Anyway, Lia, I’ll let you go. I know you’re busy. I hope I can find the energy to make a visit soon and see you.”

“Or I can come up to Warren,” I blurted, remembering what Ritchie said about the box his mom left me.

“Oh.” Dad sounded stunned. “That would be great. I just thought you said you were afraid of seeing people.”

“Yeah, but… things change,” I laughed. “I’m not scared anymore. All I’m scared of these days is paperwork and filling orders.”

“That’s not too bad,” Dad offered.

“No, it’s not. So maybe I’ll come see you. Maybe even tomorrow. I’ll catch a bus and take advantage of the rest of this weekend since it’ll probably be the last non-swamped weekend I’m gonna have in awhile.”

“I think that would be nice! I would love that.”

I grinned wide at the genuine enthusiasm I heard in my dad’s voice. After another minute of conversation, we hung up awkwardly as usual, but with laughter in our voices so I considered it very much a win.

I was still sitting with a smile on my face when the front door of the townhouse swung open. I sat up straight on the steps, getting ready for some snark in case it was Rachel. But it wasn’t.

It was Lukas and I knew the second I laid eyes on him that something was wrong.

“Hey,” I frowned, standing up. Light and breezy a second before, my heart felt suddenly heavy as Lukas walked straight into my arms.

“Tired,” he muttered.

“And?” Standing a step above him, I hugged his head to my chest. “I can tell something’s wrong, Lukas. Can you tell me what?” I asked. He heaved a sigh.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

We went into his apartment and once the door closed behind us, I asked him again. “Please tell me something, Lukas,” I pleaded gently.

“Cam broke into my office today.”

My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“Yes but it’s fine. No one got hurt,” Lukas said, tipping his head to the side as he loosened his tie.

“You look exhausted.”

“I am.” He tossed his tie onto the couch. Turning to me, he cupped my elbows. “Listen, if you see a guy around here, six feet, kind of sandy blonde hair and a funny shaped face, that’s Cam,” he said. “If you so much as see him even on this block, you call me.”

“Why, is he going to hurt me?” I asked incredulously. “Why would he care about me?”

Lukas shook his head. “I don’t know. Because he’ll do anything to get under my skin and he already fucked with Tess so now he’s looking for other options.”

My eyes fluttered. “What did he do to Tess?”

“I don’t think I can explain all that right now.”

“Well, try,” I pressed, surprising myself – and him too, apparently, because he looked up at me confused. “Sorry. I just…” I let go of a sigh. “I don’t think I can keep pretending anymore.”

“Pretending what?”

“That I’m totally fine with being left in the dark,” I said. “You ask me questions, I answer. I ask you questions, you dodge them. From the start, you’ve made me open up to you. You made me confess every little thing about my life to you but when I try to get to know you beyond the little fantasy bubble we’re in, the wall goes up. And I’m not your girlfriend, I know that, so I shouldn’t care. But I do. I care about you.”

Standing in the middle of the living room, I looked at him, feeling like this had to be the point where I should stop talking. I could easily get away with “I care about you” but not the rest of what I had to say. But my lips were itching to blurt it all out and my heart was aching to get it off my chest.

“I like you a lot, Lukas.” Shit. There it is. “More than I know what to do with,” I admitted with a laugh that was both bitter and sheepish. “And honestly, I’m disturbed by the fact that I’ve had the most success in my career while seeing you because it proves my last three years wrong. It means I don’t have to be only work or only play – I can have it all if I want to. I could’ve been doing that this whole time but now that I’ve had you, I don’t think Iwant anyone else and it sucks because you’re clearly not interested beyond a certain point,” I said, losing my breath. “You roped me in, you chased me and you got me basically hooked on you. But you’re keeping me at a distance because while I’m sure you like me, you like me best for one thing, and that’s sex.”

“That’s not true,” Lukas said without missing a beat.

“No?” I crossed my arms. “Prove it.”

His stare challenged mine. “Come away with me tomorrow. I’ll tell you everything you want to know and I won’t fuck you unless you tell me to.”

My eyes fluttered in surprise. “You’re going away, too? Where?”

“I don’t know yet. I just need to get out.”

“Because of the anniversary?”

Lukas stared. “How do you know about that?”

I dropped my eyes. “Julian.”

Lukas took a second to process that. “Fuckin’ prick,” he muttered.

I swallowed the knot in my throat. “Are you mad at me?”

“No. Why would I be mad at you?” Lukas asked genuinely. I paused and chewed on my lip.

“I can think of a reason.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

I slipped my hands in the back pocket of my shorts, taking a moment to answer. “I’ve been planning on seeing Ritchie. I lied about what he texted me for. He’s selling the house and he wants me to pick up some stuff.”

Lukas shook his head. “Really? Is this his way of asking you to pack and clean up for him? Because I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“No, he says there’s a box for me. From Gail. He said I should come get it and I kind of want to,” I said quietly. “He’s going to have a couple of old friends over and trust me, I’m not hoping to be buddies with them anymore, I’m just… so happy these days that I feel like I owe it to myself to try to tie up loose ends up there. There’s nothing I’d love more than to close up that chapter of my life on a positive note,” I said truthfully, trying not to let Lukas’s look of disapproval get to me. “Combined with the fact that I haven’t seen my dad in a long time and… well, basically I’m going. Tomorrow. I can’t do it any other day, I won’t have the time.”

Quiet, Lukas folded his arms. “I’ll go with you,” he said, prompting my eyebrows to lift high.

“You want to come with me to shitty little Warren, New York?”

“Yes. I need to be away from the city, anyway, and I don’t want you to see Ritchie alone. I don’t trust him.”

He sounded pissed but I couldn’t help the little smile twitching the corners of my mouth. “You being protective of me?”

“I’ve been.”

I sucked on my bottom lip. “Are you sure about this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because it’s a small town full of very curious people and more than likely, Ritchie’s going to have a couple friends at his house. They’re probably going to ask questions about you and that’s going to be before we get to my dad and uncle’s family. They’re going to ask if you’re my boyfriend and a bunch of other stupid, uncomfortable questions that’ll make you want to run for the hills.”

Lukas cracked a smile. “I’d love to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

“Yeah?” I laughed, somehow delighted and hurt at the same time. I was happy Lukas wanted to come with me. That he didn’t mind meeting my family. But I was quickly realizing that I didn’t share his contentment to just pretend.

I wanted to try the real thing.

I didn’t want to keep wondering what we were doing and how long my heart could take it. I wanted to hear him call me “baby” outside of sex. It was a complete one-eighty from my original position on the matter but apparently, people could change that fast.

Damn it, Lia. A million thoughts and wants swirled through my brain as I stood in the living room, watching Lukas move around the kitchen, undoing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt, reaching for something in the fridge. He was just winding down from a long day and somehow, he was the picture of the home life I never knew and didn’t realize I wanted till now.

“Lukas?” my lips blurted before I could stop them.

“Yeah?” he turned around.

I paused when I saw him set two wine glasses on the table, pouring unevenly and coming over to give me the bigger one. His shirt was fully unbuttoned, giving me a preview of that chest, those abs that I couldn’t get enough of. With a little toast, we touched our glasses, eyeing each other as we took the first sip. Then I found myself watching again, transfixed by the sight of Lukas simply setting his drink on the table, sitting down on the couch and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Can I give you a massage?” I asked, smiling at the twitch of surprise in his brow. He looked up at me with bright eyes.

“I actually can’t think of anything I need more right now than a massage from you.”

I smiled at the word “need.” God, I was so easy.

And just like that, I forgot the original thought I had on my tongue. Wedging my body between Lukas and the back of the couch, I pressed the heels of my palms up his hard back till I could knead his strong shoulders, his neck. Each low rumble I drew out from his chest was like a little trophy to me. I loved hearing the sound. It was deep, sexy and intimate. I could listen to it all night.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I kept massaging him, grinning and giggling as he rubbed my feet in his lap. God, did he have any idea what he was doing to me? What kind of sweet, intimate, couple-relaxing-at-home fantasies he was putting in my head?

I was half-ready to ask him, “Why do you do this? Treat me like a stranger sometimes then play house with me like we’re married? Why?” But I refrained, obviously. I wanted to try a relationship with Lukas but for now, especially for my first trip back home since leaving, I was grateful to at least play make-believe.

In fact, I was slowly getting excited.

A part of me couldn’t wait to show him off.