Not Pretending Anymore by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 10
Declan
My birthday turned out better than I’d expected. I hadn’t planned to say anything about it, but thanks to my sisters, Molly and I devoured half that cake. Then she insisted on taking me out, so we went to the Italian place on the corner. We had a great time, but then again, I always did with Molly. It had been not quite a month since I’d moved in, but she’d become a good friend. Molly was funny, bright, and easy to talk to.
The following day at work, Julia was acting a little odd. She seemed spacey and not really attentive to the presentation one of our managers had flown in to give.
As we exited a conference room that afternoon, I asked her about it.
“Everything okay with you?”
She hesitated then said, “Bryant and I broke up.”
Her announcement stopped me in my tracks.
“What happened?”
Julia blew out a breath. “I decided to just nip it in the bud. If I didn’t want to be with him exclusively, there was something wrong, right? Even if I couldn’t pinpoint it?”
Still trying to process, I nodded. “Yeah. I’d have to agree. You shouldn’t feel trapped in a relationship. You should want to be there. That person should be all you think about. You shouldn’t want to be with anyone else.”
“Exactly. So...that was my revelation last night. I decided to call him early this morning and tell him. If I’ve been a little out of it today, it’s because I feel sad that I hurt him, even though it’s a huge weight off my chest.”
“I bet.”
This was a weird feeling. I’d waited for Julia to break up with her boyfriend for the longest time. But now I didn’t know how to react.
“What now?” I asked.
She batted her lashes. “I don’t know. You tell me. How should I mark this occasion?”
“I think we should have a drink. Or two.”
Always the opportunist, Declan.
She smiled. “That sounds awesome. I want to go home and change first, though, if that’s okay. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah. That’s cool. I’ll do the same. I can pick you up at seven at your place?”
“Perfect.”
For someone who’d just broken up with her boyfriend, Julia seemed to perk up pretty fast.
***
Molly was getting ready for her date with Dr. Small Willy when I got back to the apartment. My reaction the other night when she told me he’d asked her out had been a surprise. There had definitely been a vibe between us since the night she’d dressed up in that fuck-hot outfit to make Julia jealous. But I don’t think I realized the shift had to do with my feelings for her until that text.
But it didn’t matter if her date made me jealous. Nothing could happen between Molly and me. She was getting what she wanted with Will, and soon enough, we’d be living on different coasts.
I stood in the doorway as Molly applied her makeup. Once again she had on those long lashes. The red dress she wore tonight was even sexier than the black one she’d had on last time.
“Will is going to freak when he sees you.”
She jumped. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” I took a few steps into her room.
“I didn’t think you’d be home so early,” she said.
“Well, our meeting ended early, so Julia and I skipped out of work. I’m picking her up later to get drinks.”
She puckered her lips as she applied lipstick. “God, her boyfriend can’t be too happy that she spends so much time with you.”
“Well, funny you say that...”
She closed the lipstick tube and turned around. “What?”
“She broke up with him.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “She did?”
“Yup.”
She paused. “Holy crap.”
“I know, right? It’s strange that you and I both got what we wanted at almost the same time.”
Molly’s eyes widened. “Yeah, I mean… Jeez. What are the chances, right?” She blew out a breath. “You must be happy.”
I lay back on her bed and put my hands behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. It’s kind of weird.”
“How so?”
“I’ve wanted her for so long, and now that the biggest obstacle is out of the way...it just kind of...doesn’t feel the way I thought it would.”
“I get what you mean. Same thing happened when Will asked me out. It wasn’t as climactic as I might have imagined.”
I turned to look at her, and my gaze traveled down to the sexy shoes she wore. Clearing my throat, I said, “Anyway... It’s all good, right?”
Our eyes locked for a few seconds.
“Yup.” She smiled. “All good.”
I changed the subject. “How’s your dad?”
Her expression darkened as she sat at the edge of the bed. “I spoke to him today. He didn’t sound too great, to be honest. His voice was really hoarse. I’m getting scared.”
Shit.“Try to think positive. I know it’s hard, but an optimistic outlook is better for everyone. Your dad will feel a lot better if he doesn’t think you’re down about him.”
“I know. It’s just so hard.” Tears began to form in her eyes. “Losing him is a real possibility. And I don’t think I’ve fully grasped that.”
This was my fault; I’d brought up the subject.
Sitting up, I moved in closer, wiping the tears from her eyes with my thumb. “I’m sorry, Mollz. I wish I could do something. I’d take the pain away if I could.”
“Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “I started seeing a therapist.”
“Really? You didn’t tell me you were thinking of that. Good for you.”
“Well, strangely, it was the knowledge that my father had been going to therapy that gave me the courage to do it.”
“I’m proud of you. When did you start?”
“Just this week. I told her what Dad’s therapist said about my need for perfection. She agreed that the fact that those behaviors started after my dad left could mean there’s a correlation. She wants me to practice letting go gradually of some of those habits as a way of accepting that there’s no real control in life. She says that will also help my acceptance of his illness.”
“Like, what is she asking you to do?”
“That’s the thing—she didn’t suggest anything specific. I have to identify where I’m being controlling or seeking perfection and create my own exercises.” She tilted her head. “You got any ideas?”
“I’m sure I could come up with something.” I went with my first instinct, getting up off the bed and opening her top drawer.
“What are you doing?”
“Helping you.”
Without looking at the contents, I grabbed the clothes inside and tossed them into the air. Unfortunately, something that wasn’t clothing landed on the ground with the rest of the stuff—a fucking vibrator.
I lifted it off the ground. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I never—”
She held out her hand. “Give me that, please.”
“I obviously didn’t—”
“I know you didn’t know. Just give it to me.”
Brushing off my hands, I announced, “I think that was enough of an exercise for this week.”
“Yeah. I’d have to agree.” She turned pink. “This one is good for a month!”
I wondered if I’d be able to think about anything else tonight besides Molly massaging her clit with that rubber dick.
