Not Pretending Anymore by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 11
Molly
Will stood up from his seat as I entered Mykonos restaurant. “You look amazing, Molly.”
“Thank you,” I said, leaning in and accepting a kiss on the cheek.
Will looked great in a blue, collared shirt and khaki pants. It was always nice to see him out of his scrubs.
Sitting down, I took the napkin in front of me and placed it on my lap. “I’ve always wanted to try this place.”
He took a whiff of the air. “You can smell that the food is going to be amazing, can’t you?”
“Yeah, my stomach is growling.”
“You know…” he said. “I’m actually a quarter Greek.”
“No way!” I smiled.
The crowded restaurant was bustling. A band got ready to play in the corner, and the smell of garlic, mint, and other spices saturated the air. It was a delight for the senses. But mostly my eyes and ears were focused on the handsome doctor across from me.
Will ordered the moussaka, and I got a Greek salad with grilled chicken. We made easy conversation over the next hour. He shared some of his craziest labor stories, and we compared notes on our experiences working with certain colleagues. There was definitely no shortage of things to talk about, and I started to think there could definitely be a future for Will and me if every night were like tonight.
From time to time, my mind would drift to Declan, though. Knowing he was out with Julia for the first time since her breakup was definitely on my mind. I wondered if they were truly compatible, or if it was mainly about “the get” for him. I supposed only time would tell.
At one point, Will changed the subject, and it transformed the mood of the entire night.
“So, confession...” he said, wiping his mouth with the blue cloth napkin.
Fidgeting in my seat, I said, “Okay...”
“I’ve had a massive crush on you for some time.”
Feeling my cheeks heat, I said, “Wow. Well, thank you. I’ve definitely admired you as well.”
“As you probably know, I just got out of a relationship,” he added.
“Yup. I’m aware.”
“Part of the reason that relationship ended is because she wanted something I couldn’t give her right now.”
I swallowed. “What was that?”
“Well, she wanted a bigger commitment sooner rather than later, ultimately marriage and kids.”
“Oh.” A knot began to form in my stomach. “You...don’t want those things?”
“Not any time in the near future. But besides that, she just wasn’t right for me.”
Even though the restaurant was noisy, somehow everything seemed drowned out in that moment.
“I see...”
He continued, “One of the things that attracted me to you was your carefree philosophy on dating. You know, you don’t seem to want anything too serious right away. I need time to breathe after that relationship. So it felt safe to ask you out.”
Safe?I nodded, needing a moment to let this sink in.
What attracted him to me was the fact that I was dating someone else? That was the reason he asked me out?
Not my personality.
Not our common interests.
But the fact that I would let him date other people?
Trying to keep my cool, I finally said, “Ah, I see.”
“I hope you don’t mind me being honest. I realize it’s only our first date, but I believe in full disclosure.”
Forcing a smile, I said, “Yeah...well... I do appreciate your honesty.”
“Thank you. And I appreciate you being honest with me. That was what finally made me take the plunge and do something I’d wanted to do for a long time.”
The food turned in my stomach. It felt like this was over before it even began. To say I was disappointed wouldn’t even cover half of what I felt.
Then again, this was my fault, right? I had given him the impression that I didn’t want anything serious.
After we left the restaurant, I was just about to head over to my Uber when Will wrapped his hands around my cheeks and pulled me in for a kiss. As he slipped his tongue inside my mouth, I could only think how different it felt than I’d imagined. It felt good, but nothing like it might have if he hadn’t squelched my hopes tonight. It made me realize more than ever that I truly did want to find a partner—my person. The question was, would I casually date Will in the hopes that his attitude might change as we got to know each other? I felt like I needed Declan’s take on this.
When I got back to the apartment, though, my roommate wasn’t there. That was no surprise. I knew he had plans with Julia. I just wished his night had also ended early, so I could talk to him.
It was almost 2AM when the door finally latched open.
I got up from the couch. “Hey.”
Immediately, I noticed it. Declan’s hair was all messed up, and he had lipstick on his mouth. I was unprepared for the level of jealousy that hit me.
“Hey.” He flashed a crooked smile.
“Looks like you had a good evening.”
“It was alright. Why do you say that?”
“Go look at yourself in the mirror.”
Declan walked over to the mirror in the hallway. “Oh shit. Yeah.”
“I take it Julia needed consoling because of her breakup?” I huffed.
He wiped his lips. “We got a little drunk and made out in the cab.”
Feeling hot, I cracked, “Wow. She moves fast, huh?”
Rather than address that, he asked, “How was your date?”
Somehow, I felt weird complaining now. Not that this was a competition, but I didn’t want to stress how lame my date had been compared to his—which had clearly gone well.
So, I downplayed my disappointment. “It was okay. We went to that new Greek place, Mykonos.”
“Was it good?”
“Yeah. The food was delicious.”
“Cool.” He paused to look at me, then narrowed his eyes. “You okay?”
Apparently I wasn’t doing a good job of seeming nonchalant. My emotions were all over the place, and I needed to go to bed, call this day over.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yup.” I forced a smile. “Gonna hit the sack. Super tired.”
Declan didn’t move from his spot as he watched me move toward my room.
“’Night, Mollz,” he called after me.
I turned one last time and smiled. “Goodnight.”
***
Over the next couple of days, I didn’t cross paths much with Declan. He’d been spending more time out—probably with Julia. Due to a scheduling change, I’d worked the past two days but had Friday off.
I woke up to find a note:
TGIF! Happy day off, roomie. I made this pasta last night but ended up going out to dinner last minute. Have it for lunch “penalty free” on me. ;-)
xo Declan
For some reason, this simple note made my chest tight. It had been the longest week, and I missed him. It was fucked up how much.
Deep down, I knew it was good to have these periods of time where I didn’t see him, because I was going to have to get used to it anyway once he left. It just sucked.
***
Friday night, I met my co-workers for happy hour downtown. Will sat across from me, but you’d never have known we’d been out on a date recently. He hadn’t initiated going out again. And tonight, while he stole some flirtatious glances at me, he hadn’t come over to even kiss me on the cheek. Clearly he was keeping his options open.
I wasn’t sure I would take him up on it if he asked me out again. Casual sex with Will Daniels wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I didn’t want to waste time with someone who’d already written off the possibility of a relationship. So, if he asked me to hang out again, I’d have to see how I felt.
My phone vibrated.
Declan: I was hoping to catch you tonight. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.
My heart fluttered.
Molly: I’m at happy hour.
Declan: With Will?
Molly: Well, he’s here, but we’re not really together. It’s a bunch of people.
Declan: What’s up with that?
My first inclination was to be honest and tell him about the date. But the selfish part of me wanted an excuse to see Declan tonight and stick it to Will at the same time.
Molly: I’m thinking I could use your presence here, if you don’t mind showing up.
Declan: You mean as your “date”?
Molly: I know you’re seeing Julia now, so no worries if you don’t feel comfortable with our previous agreement.
The dots moved around as he typed.
Declan: Julia is not my girlfriend. She’s not ready for that. We’re just having fun right now.
Molly: So she won’t mind if I borrow you? ;-)
My heart thundered in my chest as I waited for his response.
Declan: I’ll be there in twenty.
***
“Act surprised to see me,” Declan whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arm around my waist from behind. He moved his mouth to my cheek and planted a soft kiss.
I turned in his arms. “Uh…Declan. You’re here. This is…a nice surprise.”
He brushed a lock of hair from my face and smiled. “Is it? I hope you don’t mind me dropping by like this. You’d mentioned the other day you were coming here for happy hour. I was only a few blocks away and thought I’d surprise you.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m glad you did.”
I’d been standing next to my friend Emma, and I caught her mouth hanging open in my peripheral vision. It made sense, since I’d just finished catching her up about the date I’d had with Will, and now another man had his hands on me in an intimate way—another gorgeous man.
“Umm. Declan…this is my friend Emma. We work together at the hospital.”
Declan flashed his dazzling smile and extended his hand. “Good to meet you, Emma. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting.”
“You’re not at all. Molly and I just finished catching up. I was on vacation the last two weeks.” She gave me the stink eye. “It’s amazing how much you can miss in just fourteen days.”
“I bet.” Declan motioned to my almost-empty glass. “I’m going to order a drink. Is that your usual pinot?”
“It is.”
He pointed to Emma. “What can I get you, Emma?”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”
Declan grinned. “Of course I do. Rule number one: make sure you keep the friends of the woman you’re crushing on liquored up and happy.”
Emma laughed. “I like that rule. I’ll take a vodka cranberry. Thank you.”
While Declan spoke to the bartender, Emma whispered to me, “Umm…is there something you forgot to mention?”
Emma was a good friend, but I didn’t think this was the time or place to explain the truth about my relationship with Declan. Plus, I was a little embarrassed that I’d resorted to these childish games. “It’s…new. We’re keeping things casual and just having fun.”
“Fun, huh?”
I nodded.
Emma brought her drink to her lips and spoke. “Well, you know who doesn’t look like he’s having fun at this moment?”
“Who?”
Her eyes shifted to look over my shoulder. “Dr. Dandy. And he’s heading this way.”
