Park Avenue Player by Vi Keeland
Chapter 15
Elodie
I didn’t notice until I started brushing my teeth the next morning. And even then, I still couldn’t believe it. It had to be here somewhere. I pushed back the shower curtain for the second time, positive I must’ve overlooked my black thong the first time I’d checked. It must’ve fallen from where I’d hung it on the shower curtain into the tub. There was no way…
No damn way.
He would never…
Yet the tub was empty.
In denial, I searched the rest of the bathroom and all of my dirty laundry. I was positive it had been hanging in here yesterday when I’d shown Hollis to the bathroom. I’d seen it with my own two eyes. And the matching bra was still hanging right next to where my thong had been. I always wore sets, always washed them together, and always hung them next to each other to dry. But now…it was gone.
I couldn’t stop shaking my head. I had to tell someone. So I grabbed my robe from the bathroom hook, filled my coffee mug to the brim, and headed next door. I hadn’t checked in on Bree in a few days, anyway.
The door opened.
“He stole my underwear!” I marched inside.
Bree’s face wrinkled. “What? Who?” She closed the door and followed me into the living room.
“My new boss. I had four sets of underwear and bras hanging in my bathroom, and this morning my black lace thong is missing.”
I’d been so absorbed in my stupid story that I didn’t even notice Bree didn’t look so hot. Her skin was pale, and she leaned on the couch like she was dizzy.
I walked over and grabbed her arms. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”
“I’m fine. It’s just…the doctor changed my medication, and it makes me feel a little lightheaded, I think.”
“Well, come on, let’s sit you down.” I made Bree take a seat on the couch and crouched in front of her. “Should we call the doctor? What can I do? And why don’t you have your oxygen on?”
She waved me off. “No. I’m fine. Don’t call anyone. I think…I must’ve gotten up too fast. That’s all it was. And I was just heading into the kitchen to make some tea, so I took my oxygen off because I don’t wear it near the stove.”
I looked around for the tubing to her oxygen machine that snaked through the house, and found the end with the nasal cannula slung over the arm of a chair.
Grabbing it, I helped her put it on. “Sit and relax. Let me make you the tea.”
I went to the kitchen, boiled water in the kettle, and steeped Bree a cup of her favorite peppermint tea. I served it to her in the living room in her favorite Tiffany teacup, which she displayed, but never actually drank from.
“I don’t get collecting china and not using it. You love this set, why not use it?”
She sipped. “I guess I don’t want to break it.”
I arched a brow. “Do you often break cups?”
She smiled. It made me feel a lot better. “No.”
“Okay then. From now on, you eat and drink on your china. Take it from me, your pretty little china wants more than to be admired. It’s useful, too, if you give it a chance.”
I watched while Bree drank her tea—maybe a little too vigilantly.
“I’m fine. Stop waiting for me to keel over.”
“Are you sure we shouldn’t call the doctor? It couldn’t hurt to call your pulmonologist.”
“No. I just needed to sit down for a minute.”
I looked her over. Her color had definitely improved, and she didn’t look like she might pass out anymore. “Okay. But take your time getting up from now on. Anyone who knocks at your door can wait for you to get there or go screw themselves.”
Bree smiled sadly. “Maybe I’ll get a welcome mat that says that.”
“Don’t tempt me to have one made for you.”
She chuckled. “So what were you saying? Your boss took your underwear?”
“Oh. Right. Yup.”
This was typical Bree—changing the subject from her health. She hated to dwell on her illness. The first chance she got, the focus was always pushed back to me. At least today my story might cheer her up. “So get this, Hollis—Mr. Grumpy-stick-up-his-ass—stole my underwear.”
“You…slept with your boss already?”
“No!”
“So how did he get your underwear?”
“Hailey had a last-day-of-school party at a friend’s summer home in Connecticut. We hitched a ride to the house after school, but bossman had to come pick us up after work. He dropped me off next door, and Hailey came in to use the bathroom. Hollis had to go, too, so he used the one in my bedroom. You know how I hang my bras and underwear over the shower curtain after I hand wash them? Well, after he left, my black lace thong was missing.”
“Are you sure he took it? That doesn’t sound like Hollis, from what you’ve told me. Maybe you put it away in a drawer or it’s in the laundry or something.”
I shook my head. “I checked. And I’m positive I saw the set there when I flicked on the light and showed him the bathroom last night. Plus, he was acting weird after he came out. In fact, I was teasing him and asked if he’d played with my underwear while he was in there, and he got all flustered. I thought it was because he’d touched them…but this morning I realized it was because he’d stolen my thong. Mr. Uptight walked out with my underwear hidden in his pocket, Bree.”
I clapped my hands and fell back against the couch. Telling the story made me as tickled as I’d felt when I’d realized what had gone down. I would be amused thinking about it for a long time to come.
“What are you going to do? Pretend you don’t know?”
I sat back up. “Is that medication also making you delirious? You know me, Bree. I’m not going to let it pass. I’m going to use it to torture the hell out of the man.”
Bree shook her head. “But he’s your boss.”
I shrugged. “So? He started it. If it’s okay to steal my panties, it’s okay to call him out on it. Plus, he’s totally fun to screw with.”
“Why do you think he took them? Is he lonely?”
“Honestly, I have no damn idea. If he’s lonely, it’s certainly not because he can’t get a date. The man is ridiculously good-looking. Even at the party yesterday, the mothers were all getting hot and bothered when he walked in.”
Bree got quiet. I knew what she was thinking. But it wasn’t like that—not with Hollis, anyway. “Stop worrying. I don’t want to torture him the same way I did the guys I met working for Soren. Hollis is different. I’m pretty sure he’s attracted to me, and that actually pisses him off.”
“Maybe he’s different in a good way,” Bree countered. “Maybe he’s the kind of guy who wears a lot of armor because he’s protecting a fragile heart.”
I scoffed. “Not so sure about that. I think it’s more like he hasn’t had time to get laid in a few weeks and wouldn’t mind boinking the nanny. But he’s smart enough to know that might not end well and then he’d have to find a new one. Hence, rub one out while wearing the nanny’s panties over his face.”
Bree looked skeptical. “Just don’t get yourself fired.”
I smiled. “Who me? Never.”
***
Baaa!
When Hailey and I walked into the apartment Monday afternoon, Huey greeted us. We looked at each other and smiled.
“Does that drive your uncle nuts?”
Her smile widened. “Pretty much.”
We laughed.
“Go take a shower and get that sticky stuff out of your hair. I’ll get dinner started, but I’ll save the chopping until you’re done so you can help.”
“Okay.”
Hailey and I had gone to MOMA today. And we took a walk through Central Park so I could show her Bethesda Fountain—which we’d seen in two paintings. During our walk, we passed a cotton candy vendor, and Hailey suckered me into buying her some. It was a breezy day, and her long hair blew into the pink fluff half a dozen times, making a clump of her hair sticky.
In the kitchen, I put the water on to boil and then heard the bathroom door close. Since I had a few minutes, I decided to do a little snooping. Hollis had acted like his normal, abrupt self this morning, and since Hailey was up early, I didn’t get a chance to ask him about my underwear. But maybe I would be able to find them—then I’d know for sure.
I listened at the bathroom door to make sure the shower was running and then went to Hollis’s bedroom. The door creaked as I opened it. I’d peeked inside last week, curious to see what his lair looked like, but I’d never actually stepped in.
Feeling a morsel of guilt, I crossed the threshold. I was invading Hollis’s privacy. Then again, how much more invasive can a person get than swiping undies? I had every right to be in here. Tit for tat. Though, seeing as he stole my panties and not a bra, I was thinking he was more of a va-jay-jay-for-tat man.
I looked around. A king-sized bed with a carved wood frame was the centerpiece of the room—very masculine, with luxurious-looking bedding. I bet those are soft and comfy. I had the strongest urge to find out, roll around in the center of the navy-and-cream-striped plushness. Another day, Elodie.
I tapped my pointer finger to my lip. Hmmm…Where would I stash my spank-bank material if I were a panty thief? I went to the obvious place first—the bedside nightstands.
The one on the left side was pretty barren—some batteries and a few old remotes. But the one on the right side was pretty full—a box of condoms, Visine, a pocket watch, a small notepad, two old wallets, a phone book, a few pens, and some other boring miscellaneous stuff. No panties.
I shut the drawer. Hailey wouldn’t be in the shower that long, and I didn’t want to get caught, so I needed to hurry up. I slid my hand under the mattress, checked under the bed, opened each of the dresser drawers and did a quick rummage through, and I even checked out his massive walk-in closet—no thong. I let out a sigh of defeat.
Maybe he didn’t steal it? Could it have been somewhere in my apartment and I’d overlooked it? Maybe I was wrong after all? I was just about to shut off the light when the bed caught my attention once again. Hmmm. It was worth a shot.
I walked around to the side where the end table was full—figuring that was where he probably slept—pulled back the bedding, and lifted the pillow.
Bingo!
Oh my God!
Oh my freaking God!
My eyes bulged.
My thong.
My freaking thong was under his pillow.
Though I’d been looking for it, I was shocked to actually find it. Especially under his pillow.
I stared at it for the longest time, unsure what the hell to do. Did I leave it? Take it? It wasn’t like there was proper etiquette for stealing back your lingerie from a panty thief. I had no idea what to do.
“Elodie!”
I jumped, hearing Hailey’s voice.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
I quickly dropped the pillow and pulled the comforter back over it before bolting to the bedroom door. My heart raced in my chest as I walked down the hall toward the bathroom. “Hailey?”
“Can you get me a bottle of conditioner out of the hall closet?” she yelled from behind the bathroom door. I pressed my hand to my chest, relieved at not having been caught. “I forgot to bring it in with me, and there’s none left in here.”
“Yes. Sure. Hang on a second.”
I grabbed a bottle of conditioner from the closet and knocked on the bathroom door. “Coming in, kiddo.”
I set it on top of the toilet. “I’ll just leave it right here.”
“Thanks.”
I walked back out of the bathroom and pulled the door shut. God, that was close.
Now I knew I had a few minutes before Hailey would be finished in the shower, and I could fix the comforter and figure out what the hell I was going to do.
With my heart still beating out of control, I walked back into Hollis’s bedroom. I stayed in the doorway for a long moment, staring at the bed and trying to figure out how to handle this situation. Then it hit me—seriously, like a lightning bolt. I knew exactly how to handle it.
I stepped inside and shut the door behind me, making sure to lock it. Walking over to the bed, I pulled back the comforter and snatched my clean black thong from underneath the pillow. Then I unbuttoned my pants, shimmied them down my legs and stepped out. I slipped off the hot pink silky thong I had on today and put on the black lace one Hollis had stolen. Smiling, I left my pink one under the pillow.
I bet you enjoy these more, perv.
***
Hollis was in a mood when he came home that night. I tried to act like it was business as usual, despite not being able to stop thinking about the panty situation.
He didn’t even acknowledge me as he headed straight for the cabinet, took out a glass, and poured himself wine.
“Lasagna is warming in the oven,” I said.
Hollis took a long sip then simply grunted to acknowledge he’d heard me say something.
He still wasn’t making eye contact with me.
Was he feeling guilty, perhaps? I started to second-guess what I’d done to mess with him—for a millisecond. Then I snapped back to reality, reminding myself that he’d stolen my damn panties in the first place and had therefore asked for it. He started this.
He loosened his tie. His hair was a bit unkempt. One thing about Hollis, he was even sexier when he was mad.
He took another sip of his wine and finally asked, “Any reason you’re sticking around? Something you need to tell me about Hailey?”
“No. Not at all. Hailey’s great. She’s cleaning up her room. I’m sure she’ll tell you all about what we did today.” After a few more seconds of awkward silence, I said, “Have a good night.”
“You too,” he said, massaging the tension in the back of his neck.
Awkward. Awkward. Awkward.
As I walked out the door, I realized I was sort of jealous of my own undies and the fun they might be having tonight without me.
