Curvy Girls Can’t Date Soldiers by Kelsie Stelting

Thirty-Four

Apollo

The second Iwalked into my dorm room, Josh took off his gaming headset and leaned forward on the futon, a smile on his face. “So, how was meeting email girl?”

I couldn’t blame him for being excited. I’d been talking to—and about—Nadira for weeks. Every day, I made sure I was back in my dorm by eight so we could talk on the phone uninterrupted. Every morning, I checked my phone to see if I’d gotten an email or text from her.

It was easy to see I had it bad.

But today hadn’t gone like I’d expected. She looked just like the picture she’d emailed me, but something felt...off. She wasn’t as warm or funny as she was on the phone. Instead, she’d seemed almost cold. Laughing too loudly at my jokes. Batting her eyelashes at me like it was her looks I’d fallen for instead of her mind.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell Josh that though. Saying I was disappointed out loud would make it too real. Make this sinking feeling in the hollow of my chest even harder to handle.

“It was good,” I said shortly. “I saw your girl, too.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Carrie?”

“No, the one you ditched me for at the basketball game?”

He nodded, trying to seem disinterested. Although, I knew he’d been really disappointed when she broke it off. He hadn’t even told me her name, but he’d talked about her nonstop after coming home from that party.

I could see why too. She was beautiful, but not in the way Nadira was. Josh’s girl had soft curves that contrasted the harder edges of her eyes and cheekbones. Her eyes had been bright, like there were a million thoughts hiding behind them. And the white patches on her skin only made her that much more interesting.

I couldn’t tell Josh that, though. No, it was best to let him forget her, even if that meant never knowing her name.

Josh eyed me for a moment. “You’re not telling me something.”

Like the fact that I’m more into the girl you dated for half a second than the person I’ve been emailing for weeks? I let out a sigh. “Things were just off tonight. She’d clearly forgotten half the things we’d talked about, and she got me worried. She said someone’s been stalking her and trying to steal her identity. She had to change her number and her email address.”

Josh lifted his eyebrows. “Damn.”

I nodded, taking off my uniform hat, then draping my jacket over my desk chair and sitting on its hard surface. “Maybe that’s why things felt wrong. She must be so stressed out.”

“Yeah,” Josh said. “And it’s probably weird seeing someone in person after only talking on the phone for so long. I bet she was nervous.”

“Yeah. Her voice even sounded different. Like all of her was constricted somehow.” I rested my elbows on my desk and rubbed my temples.

“It’ll be okay, man. Just give it time,” Josh said. I heard the rustle of his headphones as he pulled them over his head and the tap of his controller as he began playing again.

Josh was probably right. Seeing her in person had made me so self-conscious in a way I had never been before. I was worried about where my hands were on the steering wheel. How my uniform hat set over my head. Trying to keep my face even as I prayed my credit card wouldn’t be declined at the coffee shop.

“I’m going on a walk,” I announced to Josh, who didn’t respond. He probably hadn’t even heard me, but my message would be clear enough when I left the room with my phone.

Instead of the elevator, I took the stairs all the way to the ground floor and stepped outside. It was warmer here than Texas ever was in February, but I couldn’t appreciate the weather. Not with all these thoughts swirling in my head.

In high school, I might have asked one of the guys to go out and throw a football or gotten together to shoot hoops at the park, but now I felt lonely. I hardly knew anyone at BU except Josh and the ROTC guys, but we didn’t really hang out outside of ROTC.

I lifted my phone, itching to call my mom. I had always talked to her about girl stuff, but she hadn’t answered any of my calls last semester, and I’d told myself that the ball was in her court now. I wasn’t calling her until she called me.

I wanted to talk to Nadira too. Now was usually the time we spoke, but the thought made me nervous. Had she been as disappointed by today as I had been? I hoped not. I realized I wanted a chance to get back to who we were together, to the easy conversations we had about everything and nothing.

We’d never get there if we didn’t try.

I tapped on my screen until I got to her new contact information and hit call. After a few rings, she answered.

“Hello?” she said.

Her voice still didn’t sound quite right, but just the fact that she’d answered put a smile on my face. “Hey, baby.”

“What’s up?” she asked. I couldn’t hear a smile in her voice. In fact, she seemed preoccupied Maybe it was the stress.

“Just calling to talk... Are you free?”

“I’m a little busy... text me?”

“Sure,” I said, hanging up and feeling worse than I had before.