Lyrics of a Small Town by Abbi Glines

Thirty-Three

It wasn’t that being at a family gathering for a holiday was new to me. I had gone with many friends over the years to things like this. What was weird was knowing this was my family yet it wasn’t. Rio had handled it well so far, but I could see in his eyes he felt the same as me.

These were strangers. We may share the same blood, but they were not family. Maybe one day they would feel that way but down deep, I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted. Hillya had seemed happy to have us here. Emily had introduced me to many people while Hillya spent more time with Rio.

Seeing photos of Rebel in the house, ranging from a child to a young man had been oddly emotional. Simply because there were pictures of him over the years where I could see myself. Hillya was right; I had his smile. The older he got in the photos, the more of Rio I could see in him.

A teenage boy who hadn’t thought about repercussions and had been living his life not knowing what the future would hold or that his future was very limited. He’d left kids behind and for Rio, a child in a very bad situation. I was the lucky one. I hadn’t always thought that, but after hearing Rio’s story and witnessing Saul’s, I knew I had an easy life. A normal life even without a dad.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Rio asked and I turned to see him watching me study the photos lined along the mantle. He nodded at the pictures. “Seeing those. The second one from the left could have been me. I looked exactly like that when I was nine.”

I looked back at the photos and picked up the one he mentioned. I could see Rio in his eyes. I hadn’t seen photos of Rio as a child, but now I wanted to.

“You have his smile. It’s almost identical,” he said, walking up to stand beside me.

“I never thought much about my smile until now,” I admitted. “But you’re right. I can see it.”

He picked up a picture of Rebel in a football uniform, standing with a football tucked under his arm and smiling at the camera. “He was a running back,” he said. “I was too. I played on that same field.”

“Does it fill the void? Knowing who he was?” I asked. It did for me. It wasn’t the way I thought it would, but the questions were no longer there. Seeing him and the life he had made it better. Something my mother never understood.

“Yeah, it does. We all deserve to know where we come from.”

“I have more pictures, albums, if y’all want to see them,” Hillya said and we both turned to her. Neither of us had heard her enter and I wondered how long she had been standing there.

“I would,” I replied. Seeing more of Rebel’s life wasn’t the same as knowing him, but it still felt like it helped make a connection. One I thought I would never have.

“Me too,” Rio said.

Hillya smiled, looking relieved. “I’ll go get them,” she told us and left the room.

“I want to ask her why my mom left. Why your mom left. If Rebel cared about the fact he had kids,” Rio said quietly.

I knew this answer or most of it anyway. I wasn’t sure Rio needed to hear it though. “I’m sure in time she will be ready to share that with us. I imagine it’s hard for her too. It was a choice he made and one she couldn’t control.”

Rio thought about that for a minute. “Yeah, I guess so,” he finally replied. I was glad he wasn’t going to push it right now. I wanted him to get to know Hillya and hear more about our dad before he found out the truth behind Rebel and our mothers.

It wasn’t until Rio pulled his Jeep into the already crowded driveway that Saul texted. His blue Ford wasn’t amongst the vehicles outside. Rio parked and looked over at me. “That from Saul?” he asked.

I nodded and opened the text message.

Saul: Mom isn’t having a good day. I will be late.

I looked up at Rio. “Lily,” I told him. “She’s not doing well.”

Rio sighed and shook his head. “Damn. You want to stay or want me to take you home?”

Saul had said he would be late. He hadn’t said for me to go back to Gran’s. “I’ll stay,” I told him.

“Alright, just please don’t put on a bikini before he gets here,” he said with a smirk, before climbing out of the truck.

He may have been smirking, but I also knew he was serious. Saul had gotten better about me swimming in front of Drake and Rio the past week, but I wasn’t sure about the others. Especially if he arrived dark and broody from the stress with Lily.

I followed Rio into the house and the music was loud. That was never the case when Saul was here. Drake had been left the run of the house and it seemed he was taking full advantage.

Rio looked at me and rolled his eyes when we entered the living area. The music was even louder inside. It wasn’t just being pumped through the speakers on the balcony. There was clearly a sound system built into the house as well.

“Rio! Henley!” Benji called out our names as he walked back into the living area from the kitchen. He had a tray of burgers and sausages in his hands.

“Are y’all fucking deaf?” Rio asked him.

“That’s all Drake,” he said with a shrug.

No one else was in the house. From here, I could clearly see the pool, and it seemed to be where everyone was at. Rio walked over and picked up a remote and instantly the music was gone.

“Need help?” he asked Benji.

Benji nodded his head toward the kitchen. “Yeah, I need to butter the corn and wrap it in foil to grill,” he replied.

“I’ll do that,” I offered, needing something to do.

Rio shrugged. “Fine. I’ll make drinks. What do you want? And don’t say soda because I’ll just put vodka in it.”

Benji called out a thanks before heading out the door with the meat.

“I liked the cranberry and vodka Benji made last week,” I told him.

He grinned. “That’s what I’m talking about. I’ll ruin you yet.” He walked over toward the bar and I went to the kitchen smiling.

Today had been strange but also good. In all the weirdness, Rio and I had bonded more. We were both faced with the world that had been our father’s. His family. His home. Memories of him. A man neither of us thought we would ever really know about. Although we hadn’t grown up as siblings, there was a connection there that seemed to grow more with every step we took closer to being a part of our father’s world.

In the kitchen, there was at least thirty corn cobs in a pile on the counter. I went to the fridge and found the butter then began getting them prepared. I decided to add some seasoning salt too. Rio walked in once I got started and put a glass down beside me.

“Thanks,” I told him.

Using both hands, he lifted himself up to sit on the counter beside my work space. “I’m not ready to go out there yet,” he said then took a drink of what looked like straight whiskey.

I understood that. I felt a little drained too from meeting all the people and talking.

“Are you going to tell your pops about today?” I asked him, knowing he hadn’t mentioned it yet to his grandparents.

He shrugged. “Not sure. They knew about Hillya, my dad, his family and they didn’t tell me. I haven’t decided if they deserve to know.”

Rio had a lot of anger to work through toward his grandparents. They loved him and he knew that but the fact they kept it from him was something he didn’t understand. Unlike with me, his mother was dead. Gran had been doing what my mother wanted. If she were still alive and I was finding all this out, I wasn’t so sure I wouldn’t feel as Rio did. Hurt and betrayal came with the lies and hidden facts.

“It’s a small town,” I reminded him. “Things get around and the fact we were at Hillya’s house today might make it back to them.”

“I thought of that. If it does then they didn’t hear it from me. Maybe then they’ll understand a tenth of what their lies to me felt like.”

I couldn’t argue with that. He had every right to be upset. I reached for my drink and took a sip. “This is strong,” I told him.

“Fuck yeah, it is. Hell, we just spent the day with our dad’s family. It’s not strong enough.”

I laughed and sat it down. “I guess you’re right.”

“You know I am. Today was weird as fuck.”

Glancing at him as I rolled another corn cob into the foil I asked, “But you’re glad we went?”

He nodded but said nothing else.

“Ah damn,” Drake said, walking into the kitchen. “What the hell?”

I turned to look at him.

“What?” Rio asked.

Drake waved a hand back and forth between the two of us. “This shit. I know y’all are fucking siblings, but Saul is crazy as hell. He don’t seem to get that memo. Why are you here without him being here? Do you want him to kill us?”

Rio chuckled. “Shut up and take your drunk ass back outside.”

Drake shook his head and threw his hands in the air. “Fine, don’t listen to me. I may be fucking drunk but I’m gonna stay my ass outside until Saul gets here.” He pointed at me and told me to stay in here.

Drake turned to leave then stopped. “Fuck, I came in here to get something, but I don’t remember what it was.”

“Was it for Benji?” Rio asked.

“Oh yeah! He needs a clean plate,” Drake replied.

After he got a plate and left Rio, looked over at me. “He’s right about the ‘you staying inside’ thing. Just in case Saul’s in a mood when he gets here. Lily can fuck with his head.”

“Okay,” I replied, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. Saul and his damage could be a lot to take sometimes. But then I knew I wasn’t going to walk away because of it. I had let myself get too deep. I had let my caring for him evolve into more and that was enough for me to accept him completely. Damage and all.