Once a Wife by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Sarah pulled into the school parking lot a little before noon on Sunday. Already, a dozen kids waited impatiently to get started, chasing each other around the lot and generally wreaking havoc. She wondered how many more children were expected. It was the end of summer, and this was the kids’ final fling before returning to school. She didn’t envy the chaperons.

After parking her car, she helped Drew and Lyssa unload their camping gear and then headed to where several adults were loading equipment into the trucks.

“You can go now, Mom,” Lyssa said, obviously eager for her mother to leave. “Drew and I will be okay.”

“Don’t be in such a rush to get rid of me, young lady.” Sarah tugged playfully at her daughter’s braid. “I’m going to go talk to Coach Davis for a minute. If that’s okay with you.”

Lyssa looked at her feet. “Do I have a choice?”

“No.”

Sighing heavily, Lyssa said to Drew, “Come on.” Then she led him over to the other kids.

Sarah watched them go, shaking her head.

Lyssa was right. Sarah should just head home. Lyssa and Drew would be fine, and Reece was waiting for her back at the house. Of course, that was exactly why she wasn’t in any hurry to get home. She wasn’t ready to face him.

Walking up to one of the men stowing gear in the back of his truck, she said, “Hey, Bill, anything I can do to help?”

“Not unless you want to come along, Sarah.”

She shook her head and smiled. “No, thanks.”

He chuckled. “Well, in that case, I think we can handle it.”

“Oh.” She’d really been hoping they would need an extra set of hands. “Okay. Well, maybe I can just keep an eye on the kids for you.”

He looked at her. “We really do have everything under control.”

“I just thought I’d wait until all the other kids show up.”

“Go home, Sarah.” He gave her a knowing smile. “Lyssa and Drew will be fine.”

Heat tinged her cheeks. “Okay, so I’m being a slightly overprotective mother.”

“You’re entitled,” he said, grinning. “Now get out of here before one of those poisoned looks Lyssa’s sending this way finds a target.”

Sarah had been dismissed. Whether she liked it or not, it was time to head back to the house. To Reece.

She took the long way home, readily admitting to being nervous. Reece had told her not to make any plans for the day. He had something special in mind. But so had she. Today, nothing would keep her from telling him about Lyssa.

Pulling into the driveway of her house, she sat for a moment before going inside. She’d vacillated all summer about whether to tell Reece about his daughter, knowing she should, but afraid she’d lose Lyssa in the process. Then Reece had dropped that bomb yesterday at the rodeo about telling Drew the truth, and Sarah couldn’t stall any longer.

Gathering her courage, she climbed out of the car and headed up the walk. Reece deserved to know the whole truth. And so did Lyssa and Drew.

No more secrets.

After today, Reece would probably despise her. Then tomorrow, when she told their children, they might hate her, as well. She didn’t know how she was going to deal with that. But she knew she could no longer go on living a lie.

“Ah, just in time,” Reece said, greeting her as she closed the door. Then before she could speak, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her hard on the mouth.

For a moment she was too stunned to react, then she pushed him away. “Reece, what’s this all about?”

“Come on.” Grinning like a schoolboy and not looking the least bit repentant, he grabbed her hand and led her into the living room. In the middle of her coffee table sat two glasses and a bottle of wine nestled in a bucket of ice.

“Sit down,” he said, motioning toward the couch. “You’ve been waiting on the three of us all weekend. Now it’s my turn.”

She considered pointing out that they’d spent yesterday at the rodeo, and he’d insisted on paying for everything from admission to dinner afterward. “Reece, this is crazy. I can’t drink wine in the middle of the day.” She started to stand.

“Uh-uh,” he said, pressing her back down on the couch. “No arguments. And why not wine in the afternoon? This is our day alone without the kids. I think we should make the best of it. We’re going to kick back and relax.”

She sighed. He wasn’t going to make this easy. But then, he never did. “Reece, we need to talk.”

“Exactly what I had in mind.” He sat down next to her and retrieved the glasses from the table. “That …” he planted a quick kiss on her forehead “… and other things.”

“Reece—”

“I’ve got a couple of thick sirloins marinating in the kitchen for later.”

“This isn’t a good idea,” she said as he poured the wine and handed her a glass.

Reece smiled devilishly, making her heart skip a beat. “So kick me out.”

It was a thought, but they both knew she wouldn’t do it. “Why are you here, Reece? Why are you doing this?”

“What am I doing?” He feigned confusion.

“The wine. The food.”

“I thought we’d have a relaxing afternoon and then a quiet dinner together. Just the two of us.” He grinned. “Now that the little monsters are gone.”

Sarah sighed. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“That I want to spend the day with you?”

She set her glass down on the table. “I thought we put this to rest before I left the Crooked C.”

He took a sip of his wine without taking his eyes off her. “I know we raised a lot of questions before you left the ranch. But I don’t remember anything being resolved.”

“Please, Reece.” She scooted forward to sit on the edge of the couch. “I can’t do this again. You can’t just come pushing your way back into my life. I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Tell me why you left, Sarah.”

His question, coming from nowhere, threw her. “Why I left?”

“When Drew was a baby.”

Her heart skipped a beat, and she swallowed hard. “I …” She started to stand, needing to put some distance between them, but he grabbed her arm.

“Please,” he said, pulling her back down beside him. “I was young and stupid back then. I believed everything you told me. Now I want to know the truth.”

She studied his face for a moment, his wonderful blue eyes and his mouth. God, how she’d always loved his mouth …. No. She couldn’t let her thoughts stray in that direction. Not now. “What makes you think you don’t already know the truth?” she asked.

He smiled sadly, and she felt something catch inside her. “Because over the last few weeks, I’ve gotten to know you, Sarah. Better than I ever knew you when we were married. I’ve watched you with Drew and Lyssa. The woman I see would never have walked out on one of her children without a very good reason.”

“Oh.” She took a deep breath, realizing that Reece, too, had decided that today was the time for truth. Only, he had no idea what he was asking for.

“There wasn’t another man, was there,” he said, sounding very sure of himself. “Not then, at least.”

She shook her head. “No, not then.” Not ever.

“Tell me the rest.”

Sarah sighed and closed her eyes. This wasn’t how she’d envisioned telling him. She hadn’t planned on rehashing why she’d left him. She just wanted to tell him about Lyssa. But she couldn’t resist the chance to explain, to at least tell him why she’d done the things she had.

“We were drowning,” she said, “the three of us. You. Me. Drew. But you couldn’t see it.”

“I know we were broke, but—”

“We were more than broke.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “You didn’t understand. Probably because you’d never known what it meant to be really poor.”

He took her hand. “Sarah, I’m sorry.”

“For what? It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was my job to provide for you, to take care of you.”

Sarah sighed. “You were only a boy.” She sat straighter and leaned forward to emphasize her point. “How do you think you could have done that?”

Rising from the couch, he started to pace. “I don’t know. I could have sold the car or gotten a second job at night. Maybe if I’d—”

“Stop it, Reece.”

He froze midstride and turned to look at her. He was the most handsome man she’d ever known, and she loved him deeply. This was so hard, talking to him about their unhappy past, when all she wanted to do was throw herself in his arms and beg him to make love to her.

But she couldn’t forget the past any more than he could.

“Listen to yourself,” she said. “Do you hear what you’re saying? You’re thinking like that boy again. You’re a man now, and you know better. We were too young.”

For a moment, he remained silent, and she could see the battle waging behind his eyes. He wanted to believe they could have made it, that he could have done something. She knew the moment he acknowledged the truth. He sighed heavily, acceptance blanketing him like a cloak.

“Okay.” He returned to the couch and sat next to her. “You’re right. So, is that why you left? Because we were broke?”

“Yes. No. I mean, if it had been just the two of us, or if Drew hadn’t been sick, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d have gone to work. We’d have gotten by somehow.”

She took a deep breath, wishing she didn’t have to relive those difficult days. “But Drew was sick. He needed expensive medicine and full-time care. We didn’t have the money for the medicine, and I couldn’t work to help pay for it because I provided the care.”

“And I was never around.”

Surprised, she looked up at him and met his gaze. So he remembered. “Yes. You were very unhappy.”

“I loved you.”

“I know. Maybe that’s why you were so miserable.” She stared at her hands. “It was more than either of us could handle. And it frustrated you that you couldn’t do anything about it.” After a moment’s hesitation, she added, “Then your mother showed up.”

“Damn!”

“She did what she thought was best for you and Drew.”

“You mean she was trying to control me. Control my life. Just as she always has.”

“She offered us a solution.” Sarah took a deep breath. “She offered me a solution.”

“How kind of her.” Again, he deserted the couch, this time his anger almost tangible. “She convinces my father to disown me, and then when I fall on my face, she buys off my wife.”

“She promised me that if I left you, she’d take care of Drew and make sure he had everything he needed. She kept that promise.”

“How could my own mother …”

“I was angry with her for a long time, too.”

“And now, Sarah? How can you not be angry with her?” He made a sweeping gesture with his hand. “Your own son doesn’t even know you.”

His statement stung, stirring her old resentment as he’d doubtless meant to do. Both she and Elizabeth had been wrong. Terribly wrong. But Sarah had learned long ago that anger was a useless emotion.

“I could have said no,” she said simply.

Her statement stopped him. Looking into his eyes, she could see the turmoil within him. Then he said, “You did it for us.”

“Yes. For you and Drew.” Now the whole truth, a voice inside her screamed. Tell him …

He moved back to the couch and, sitting down, took her hand. “And the money?”

Sarah’s face heated. That was the worst part—she’d taken money to leave them. “I didn’t want to take it at first. But …” There was Lyssa. “I had nothing. No job. No skills. And hardly enough gas to get back to my grandmother’s. It gave me the means to go back to school and make something of myself.” For Lyssa.

Reece wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her head against his chest. Sarah resisted for a moment and then gave in, to his strength, to the comfort he offered. She’d carried this burden alone for so long, struggling with it, rationalizing it, trying to make sense of the choices she’d made. It felt so good to be held, to unburden herself to this man she loved.

“I was wrong, Reece.” The first of her tears slipped from her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hush, baby.” He stroked her head as one tear followed another, like streaks of fire down her cheeks. “It’s over now. It was a long time ago.”

“No, it’s not over.” It was far from over. “There’s more.”

“Enough. For now.” He shifted sideways and covered her mouth with his, silencing her.

Just one kiss, she told herself, one sweet kiss. But he didn’t stop at one. Instead, he cradled her face with his hands and plunged his tongue into her mouth again and again, until she lost the ability to think of anything beyond the feel of his lips and the taste of his tongue. When he finally released her, she swayed against him, resting her forehead against his chest.

He stroked her cheek with his knuckles and then pulled back and lifted her chin so that she had to look at him. “Sarah,” he said, “I love you.”

It was too much. The irony of it, the absolute tragedy of his saying this to her now. His words tore at her heart, and she knew her time had run out.

“Reece, don’t. You can’t love me.”

“No.” He pressed a finger to her lips. “I know this is sudden.” He grinned. “So don’t say anything more.” He lowered his head to her throat, stroking the sensitive skin with his tongue. “Let me make love to you. Let me show you.”

Sarah sighed and let her head fall against the back of the couch. She should stop him, put an end to this before it started. Instead, she buried her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. One more time. She wanted him just one more time.

Then she’d tell him the truth and watch him walk away.

“Yes,” she murmured. “Please.”

Reece’s chest tightened at Sarah’s words. He’d fought this for so long. Telling himself for years that he no longer cared, that his love for her had died when she’d left him. Then when she’d shown up at the Crooked C, he’d convinced himself that it was nothing but lust.

He’d been lying to himself.

He loved her. He’d never stopped. Now his feelings for her nearly overwhelmed him. The sacrifices she’d made humbled him. No one else had ever loved him that much, nor made him feel the way she did. No one else ever would.

He sought her mouth gently, trying to convey without words how much she meant to him. She kissed him back, lightly at first, and then deeper, until it wasn’t enough. He wanted to be inside her. Pulling away, he stood and offered her his hand. “Let’s go upstairs.”

She smiled that bewitching smile of hers. “And waste a perfectly good couch?”

“The couch will be here for another time.” Reaching down, he took her hand and brought her to her feet. “This afternoon, I want to make love to you properly. Slowly. And in a bed.”

He drew her to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing her until he felt the sweet length of her melt against him—her soft breasts pressed against his chest, while the apex of her thighs rubbed tantalizingly against his erection. He moved his hands to her bottom, bringing her closer.

She pulled away from his mouth, laughed seductively and tossed her head back, giving him access to the pulse at the base of her neck. “You really think we’re going to make it upstairs?”

Reece met her challenge, nipping at her throat and then shifting quickly to lift her in his arms and head for the stairs. “Yeah. We’re going to make it.”

She wrapped her arms more tightly around his neck and laughed, a low throaty sound that sent a fresh surge of desire to his groin. “Reece, you’ve got to stop doing this.”

“What?” He’d reached the bottom step. “Making love to you?”

“Carrying me around.”

“If I put you down, will you promise to head straight up to your room without acting up?”

She smiled slowly and lifted a finger to run lazy circles around his ear. “Well, that depends,” she said in her soft sorceress voice. “On what you mean by acting up.”

With a low growl, he started up the stairs, Sarah still in his arms.

It amazed him that they actually made it to her room. Because by the time he set her back on her feet, he could think of nothing else but burying himself inside her.

“Well,” she said, backing away teasingly. “Looks like you were right. We’re here.”

He grinned and took hold of her braid, drawing her closer. Then he deftly removed the covered elastic band that held her hair in place.

“What now?” she asked.

“You’ll see.” Carefully, he worked the dark silken strands free of their weaving and spread her hair, letting it fall free over her shoulders. “I’ve wanted to see you like this since that first day you walked into my office. Every time I closed my eyes, I’d remember how it used to look spread across our pillows.”

Sarah heard the love in his voice and lost yet another piece of her heart. It was so good to be with him. As if they’d never been parted. Loving. Laughing. They meshed perfectly, bodies, souls and hearts. Two parts of one whole. As if they’d been together forever, from one lifetime to the next.

She pulled her blouse free of her skirt and lifted it over her head.

“I like the buttons better,” he teased.

Smiling, she reached out and started undoing his shirt. “Me, too.” He started to help her but stopped when she shook her head. “Let me.” She shoved the fabric off his shoulders and ran her hands over his chest, relishing the feel of his strength beneath her fingers, the rise and fall of his muscles, the tightness of his skin.

Reece groaned and found the front clasp of her bra, released it and tossed it aside. Then his hands caressed her, and her breath caught in her throat.

“Ah, Sarah, you feel so good.”

“You, too.” She stepped back and undid her skirt without taking her eyes off him. He worked at the zipper of his jeans, and within minutes, they stood facing each other with nothing between them.

Sarah smiled and held out her arms. “Love me.”

Something tickled her cheek, and Sarah batted it away. Then again, and this time her hand connected with something solid, bringing her more fully awake. Reluctantly she opened her eyes. Reece lay sprawled beside her on the bed, teasing her with a piece of her hair.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi, yourself.”

Yawning, she shifted on her side to face him. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

He kissed her gently on the lips. “Guess I wore you out.”

“Fishing for compliments?”

“Always.”

She slipped one hand around his waist. “Well, on a scale of one to ten I’d say you’re a … eight.”

“An eight!” Laughing, he had her pinned beneath him in a heartbeat. With one knee, he spread her legs and pressed himself against her. “Is that all?”

Between her giggles and the feel of him once again hard and ready, Sarah could barely speak. “What’s wrong with an eight? It’s better than average.”

“Better than average?” He rubbed a little harder, and she moaned.

“Much better than average.”

He lowered his head and nipped at her mouth. “How much better?”

“Oh, Reece.” She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. “How do I know? There’s never been anyone else.”

He grinned, started to kiss her again and then froze. That was all it took for Sarah to realize what she’d said. The truth was out at last.

“Reece …” she whispered.

He rolled off her and stood, staring at her like some kind of insect he couldn’t be rid of fast enough. Then he looked at the top of her dresser, where she kept Lyssa’s baby picture.

Sitting up, Sarah pulled a blanket around her. “I was going to tell you.”

He looked at her, but she couldn’t read his expression. His face seemed carved of granite. Then he backed away, never taking his eyes off her, and grabbed his jeans, yanking them on and heading for the door.

Sarah let out a cry of dismay and snatched up her own clothes, pulling them on as quickly as possible and following him down the stairs. She found him in her living room, the picture of Drew and Lyssa in his hand.

“Lyssa,” he said. “She’s mine.”

Sarah straightened, wrapping her arms around her waist. “Yes.”

He put the picture down and turned away, but not before she saw the agony rip across his features. He ran his hand through his hair. And then again. “I should have known.”

“No. You couldn’t have known.”

“The man yesterday at the rodeo … God, they look so much alike. And Lyssa’s coloring.” Then he turned and pinned her with his eyes, dark with anger. “You were pregnant when you left.” It was an accusation, a sharp bitter accusation.

Sarah bit her lip. “Yes.”

The rage on his face seared a hole straight to her soul. “Did you know?” When she didn’t answer, he closed the distance between them and grabbed her arms. “Answer me, Sarah. Did you know when you left us that you were pregnant?”

Sarah nodded, and he thrust her from him.

“How could you do that?” He paced the floor, an injured animal seeking some kind of relief. “How could you keep her from me? Didn’t you think I had a right to know?”

“I was going to tell you …” She stumbled over to the couch and sat down.

He turned on her. “When?”

“Today. This afternoon. Then we … I would have told you tonight.”

“That’s a pretty convenient story. What about all the other times we’ve been together?” He took a couple of steps toward her. “What about when you first came to the ranch? Or any time after that?”

“Would you have been any less angry if I’d told you then? Any less hurt?”

“Hell, no!” He moved away from her. “You should have told me eleven years ago. She’s my daughter. I had a right—”

Suddenly, Reece went perfectly still, his attention riveted on something behind her. Fear coiled in her stomach, and Sarah turned to see what he was looking at.

Drew and Lyssa stood in the doorway.