Once a Wife by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER THREE

Sarah couldn’t breathe.

Her chest tightened painfully. Her vision blurred and then sharpened to a surrealistic clarity. She watched, as if from outside herself, the meeting of some other woman with the son she hadn’t seen in eleven years.

“Sorry,” Drew said. “I didn’t know my dad had company.”

He was nearly grown. Of course, she knew that. She’d seen pictures. Millie had sent them. Still, Sarah had always pictured him like she’d last seen him, a chubby sweet-scented infant. This lanky twelve-year-old, smelling of hay and horses, with a mop of dark hair and dirty hands, wasn’t the child she remembered.

“It’s okay, Drew.” The words came from Reece. She heard them as if from a distance. “Miss Hanson was just leaving.”

Suddenly, air rushed into her lungs, easing the pain, and Sarah came back to herself with a start. This might be her only chance to speak to Drew. Ignoring Reece, she stepped toward her son and offered him her hand. “Hello, Drew.” Somehow she managed to make her voice sound normal. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Drew grinned and took her hand. “You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No.” She smiled, liking his directness. “I live in Oaksburg. It’s a small town near the Wind River Reservation.” She wanted to hold on to him a little longer, pull him closer. Instead, she let go of his hand and took a step back. “I knew your father years ago, when we were teenagers. Since I was over this way, I thought I’d stop in to say hi.”

“Cool.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Did you know my mom, too?”

Sarah’s smile froze. She glanced at Reece and saw the warning in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Drew and said, “Yes.” She didn’t know how she managed to speak. “I did.”

“Can you—”

“Drew.” Reece moved around the desk and placed an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “Miss Hanson was just leaving.” Although he was speaking to their son, Reece’s words were for Sarah. “Isn’t that right?”

She met his gaze and saw more than a warning in his eyes, she saw fear, as well. He wanted her out of here. Now.

“I’m afraid your father’s right,” she said. If Reece didn’t want Drew to know her identity, Sarah wouldn’t go against his wishes. Not yet, anyway. Not until she knew more—about Drew himself, and about what Reece and his family had told Drew about her. “I need to get going.” It took all her strength to smile. “But it was nice meeting you. Maybe we can talk again sometime.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Sarah shifted her attention to Reece and almost faltered as again she caught a brief glimpse of the man she’d once loved. It was an unexpected warmth in his eyes. But as before, it lasted only a moment before fading, chilling her.

“Remember my offer,” she said.

“Goodbye, Miss Hanson.” His words were stiff and formal, as if they were strangers. And maybe they were.

She hesitated a moment longer and then left, placing one foot in front of the other without looking back. As she’d done eleven years ago, she forced herself to keep going, to keep walking away from her ex-husband and their son. And for some reason she couldn’t begin to understand, leaving them was even harder than it had been the first time.

Reece needed to get out.

He waited until Sarah was well away and Drew settled in the kitchen with Millie for his midmorning snack. Then Reece headed down to the barn and saddled his horse. Calling to Tod that he’d be back before dark, Reece turned the animal toward the Black Hills.

For more than an hour, he rode without letting any of the morning’s events penetrate his thoughts. He was back on a horse, riding across the range. It was almost full summer, and the land was ripe with life, the air fragrant, the sun warm. He belonged here, out in the open, not inside going over the books or on a campaign trail soliciting votes.

As the sun climbed past its zenith and the day grew warmer, he stopped to water his horse at a shallow stream that bisected the prairie. Dismounting, he sat on a small knoll beside the water and finally let his thoughts turn to Sarah.

Why had she shown up now?

It had taken years for him to forget her. Years during which he’d struggled to put the memory of her out of his mind. Less than twenty-four hours ago, he’d have sworn he never wanted to see her again. But today, she’d waltzed into his office and, in a matter of moments, resurrected their past and made him doubt everything he’d been telling himself for the past eleven years.

She was a woman now, no longer the girl he’d known. But she was more beautiful than ever and just as proud and defiant as he remembered. It shouldn’t have surprised him. She’d always been strong.

They’d met in Riverton while competing in the weekend rodeo. She’d been riding the fastest little barrel racer he’d ever seen, handling the mare like a pro. He’d asked around about her, but no one seemed to know her. Finally, he’d spotted her one afternoon, eating alone in one of the food tents set up on the rodeo grounds. All around her, other contestants laughed and talked, but not Sarah. She sat straight and proud, as if unaware there was another soul in the place. Reece had walked over, sat down next to her and fallen in love.

Later, he’d found out that she lived on the Wind River Reservation with her grandmother. She was competing in weekend rodeos in hopes of winning enough money to pay her first-year college tuition. He couldn’t help but admire her determination and courage. Not only was she a newcomer on the circuit, she was half-Shoshone. She was an outsider from day one and determined despite it.

He’d loved her and married her, ignoring his father’s threats and his mother’s tears. He’d given up everything. Because the only thing that had mattered to him was Sarah.

Then she’d thrown it all in his face.

“Damn,” Reece cursed, and lay down on the soft grass. For a few minutes, he watched the ribbons of white clouds drift across the sky, letting his mind wander over the past. Then he reeled in his thoughts.

He couldn’t let Sarah’s sudden emergence in his life distract him. Drew was his priority. Reece needed to find answers about how to deal with the boy. Something had to be done—that much was clear. But beyond that, Reece was at a loss. He was no good at this father stuff. The boy climbing on a skittish stallion or even failing subjects in school Reece could understand. He didn’t like it, but it wasn’t unusual behavior for a twelve-year-old. What he couldn’t begin to understand was why Drew would toy with his life by ignoring his diabetes.

A half-dozen ideas skidded through Reece’s head—everything from grounding the boy for the next year to taking a leather strap to his backside. All answers Reece’s own father might have come up with. But Reece had never cared for his father’s heavy-handed methods, and he wasn’t about to make the same mistakes.

Standing, he brushed off the back of his jeans. It was time to get back. The sun rested just above the horizon, and he was at least an hour’s ride from the ranch. He’d sat here long enough, looking for solutions and wallowing in memories. Mounting his horse, he turned toward home. He still didn’t have any answers about Drew, but at least he felt better about the questions. The open range always had that effect on him. It cleared his thoughts, bringing them into perspective and focus.

Smiling to himself, he realized he’d been cooped up too long. No matter what he decided about Drew, he needed to spend more time on the ranch, out in the open.

It was almost dark by the time Reece arrived home and found Michelle waiting for him. He’d forgotten all about their plans to discuss the campaign this afternoon. Apologizing for being late, he went upstairs to shower. Thirty minutes later, he reentered the spacious living room. Heading directly for the wet bar, he poured himself a stiff shot of scotch.

“Sorry I’m late, Michelle.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She lounged on the couch, sipping a glass of white wine. “Your mother and I had a nice visit.”

Reece smiled at her typical response. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. She was about the most easygoing woman he’d ever known. For the hundredth time, he wished he felt more for her than friendship.

Moving over to the fireplace, he leaned against the stone mantel. “Where is Mother?”

“She went up to check on Drew. He was pretty tired this evening and fell asleep right after dinner.”

“Did she tell you about his problems at school and the insulin reactions?”

“Yes.”

Reece sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was about to shatter Michelle’s calm demeanor. “Then you’ll understand why I’m considering withdrawing from the campaign.”

She didn’t look surprised. Still, she took a moment before answering, as if carefully weighing her words. “Of course it’s your decision, Reece.” She sipped her wine. “But I think you should think about it very carefully.”

“That’s what I’ve been doing all day.”

“What about hiring a tutor?”

“That won’t help Drew’s habit of purposely making himself sick.”

Michelle shook her head and glanced away. After a few minutes of silence, she said, “Once you withdraw from the race, Reece, there’s no turning back.”

“There’ll always be another election.”

“Give yourself some time.” She looked back at him, and despite her calm manner, he realized she was more concerned about this than she would have him think. “This is a big decision. Consider all your options.”

“And what are my options?” He knew how badly she wanted him to get into politics, and he’d wanted it, too. He’d wanted to make a difference in his home state. It was what had drawn them together. “My son’s playing Russian roulette with a disease that could kill him. I can’t ignore that.”

“Of course not, but have you talked to him?”

Reece shifted uncomfortably. “No, not yet.”

“Don’t you think that should be your first step?”

Reece let out a short laugh and shook his head. “Always the logical one.”

“Well, it only makes sense.”

“What do I say to him?”

“Just ask him why, Reece.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on her legs. “Give him a chance to tell you what’s bothering him.”

It seemed so simple. Too simple actually. And for Michelle and her father, maybe it would have worked. But Reece had never been able to talk to his own father. And, as for talking to Drew, he didn’t know where to begin. In all honesty, his mother had raised the boy, while he …

“I see you finally made it home.”

Michelle and Reece turned at the sound of Elizabeth’s voice. She stood in the doorway, dressed in cream-colored slacks and a silk blouse. Simple but elegant. Too elegant for a working ranch in the middle of Wyoming.

Reece ignored her implied criticism. “How’s Drew?”

“Fine.” Elizabeth joined Michelle on the couch. “We went ahead and ate dinner without you.”

“I’ll get something later.”

Michelle leaned over and laid a hand on Elizabeth’s arm. “We were just talking about Drew.”

“Really.” Elizabeth looked first at her future daughter-in-law and then shifted her focus to her son. “Did he tell you that Drew’s mother was here today?”

“How—” Reece began, but she cut him off.

“Drew told me.” She kept her gaze locked on him. “At least he told me there was a Miss Hanson here today. I assumed …”

“Yes, Mother. It was Sarah.”

“What did she want?”

Reece took a sip of scotch. “To see Drew.”

“And you let her?”

“No,” Reece snapped. “I didn’t let her, Mother. She showed up, and Drew just happened to come inside.”

Elizabeth sighed and sank against the couch. “At least you didn’t tell him who she was.”

Reece glanced at Michelle and saw her confusion. They’d never really discussed Sarah or what Drew knew about her. He supposed it was because of the nature of his and Michelle’s relationship. But it couldn’t be helped now. He’d have to explain things to her later.

Turning back to his mother, he asked, “Would that have been so bad?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Reece. We decided years ago that the less Drew knew about Sarah the better.”

“Well, I’m not so sure that was such a great decision.”

He remembered Sarah’s expression when Drew had walked into Reece’s office this morning. It wasn’t the look of a woman who didn’t care about her son. “She heard about Drew’s problems and came to offer help.”

“How did she find out about that?”

“I thought you’d contacted her.”

“Me? Why would I? The best thing that girl ever did for you and Drew was leave you. Now she probably wants more money.”

Reece stiffened and went perfectly still. “More money?”

Elizabeth flushed. She’d obviously said more than she’d intended. “Well, of course she wants money. What else could she want?”

“Moremoney, Mother?” A kernel of suspicion tightened in his gut. “What money are we talking about here?”

“Forget I said anything, Reece.” Elizabeth tried to brush his question aside. “It was a long time ago.”

He wasn’t going to let it go. “No, Mother. I want to know what you’re talking about. What money?”

“Really, Reece. It’s hardly important now.”

“Mother.” The kernel had exploded, leaving a sick feeling of dread churning inside him.

Elizabeth looked at him and flinched, then quickly turned away. “Oh, if you insist. I didn’t tell you before because I knew you’d never understand.”

“Tell me now.”

“When Sarah decided to leave you, I gave her some money. That’s all there was to it.”

“You gave her money?” The sickness within him spread.

“Well, yes. She was such a foolish girl really.” Elizabeth finally met his gaze, and he could see the wariness in her eyes. This was something she’d never intended for him to know.

“Sarah realized she was poison for you and Drew,” she continued. “You were so young and stubborn you couldn’t see it. But she did. And she was more than happy to take the money I offered her to leave.”

Reece didn’t move. The sick feeling had turned to anger, a hard dangerous anger, threatening to erupt at any moment. “Let me get this straight, Mother. You bribed my wife to leave me?”

“Now, Reece, ‘bribe’ is such an awful word.”

“Answer me, Mother. You gave Sarah money to leave me?”

“Why, yes. Of course.” She folded her hands in her lap and lifted her chin. “But it was for your own good.”

Sarah sat in the small diner attached to Devils Corner’s only motel, toying with the food on her plate.

She’d picked the back booth, anxious to avoid the curious stares and questions inherent in a town this small. She needn’t have bothered. No one seemed the least interested in her. With nothing more than a “What can I get you?” the waitress had taken her order and filled it. It was just as well. Sarah didn’t know if she could deal with anyone else today. Talking to Reece, seeing Drew, had taken the last of her strength.

When she’d left the ranch earlier, she’d driven aimlessly for hours, unaware of anything except the dull ache in her heart.

She’d known before coming here that seeing Reece again would be difficult, but she realized now that she’d had no idea just how difficult. She’d looked at him and seen the boy she’d loved grown into a man. A jolt of desire had coursed through her system, surprising her with its intensity. Then the momentary warmth of his eyes had hardened to cold disdain, and she’d wanted to scream at life’s injustices. He wasn’t her husband and hadn’t been for a long time.

And Drew.

She’d looked at her son and realized just how much she’d missed, how much she’d given away. She’d been a fool to leave him all those years ago—a young stupid fool. But knowing that only made things worse.

While driving, she’d considered turning southwest and heading for home. She and Lyssa could stay on the reservation with Tuwa for a few days. It would be good to spend time at her grandmother’s house, to take comfort in the old woman and Lyssa. She could be in Oaksburg by midnight and at her grandmother’s before one.

Instead, Sarah had headed into town and checked into the motel. She’d made the mistake of running once. She wouldn’t do it again.

She wished, however, that she could at least talk to Lyssa. Just hearing her daughter’s voice might ease the pain. But Tuwa didn’t have a phone, and cell reception in the area was nearly non-existent, so her chances of getting through to Lyssa were slim. The only way Sarah could get hold of them for sure would be to call one of the neighbors and ask someone to go get Lyssa and have her call back. It would be a long, involved, expensive process, and everyone on the other end would panic, thinking it an emergency.

Sighing, she shoved the uneaten plate of food away. She’d stay here a day or two in case Reece changed his mind. Then she’d head home.

“May I join you?”

Startled, Sarah looked up as Reece slid his tall frame into the seat across the booth from her. He looked older than he had this morning. And tired.

“It looks like you already have,” she said.

A whisper of a smile nipped at his mouth but quickly disappeared. The waitress approached, set a cup in front of him and filled it with coffee. “Anything else, Reece?” she asked.

He shook his head. “This’ll be fine.”

The waitress moved away, and he turned his attention to the steaming cup in front of him. Sarah watched him sip his coffee, wondering what had brought him here. Had he decided to let her see Drew? Or had he come to run her out of town?

Finally she had to ask, “Why are you here, Reece?”

He didn’t look at her but turned, instead, to stare out the window. “I had a talk with my mother this evening.”

Sarah’s stomach tightened, but she remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

“She told me an interesting story.”

Sarah knew where this was headed and couldn’t let him go on with it. “Reece, this isn’t—”

“She told me about the money, Sarah.” He turned back to look at her, his eyes hard and angry. “She told me that she gave you ten thousand dollars.”

Sarah bit back a cry of dismay. Elizabeth had promised never to tell Reece about the money. After everything else Sarah had done to him, it seemed like such a little thing. Still, she’d thought at the time that she couldn’t bear for him to know about it. Evidently, Elizabeth had kept her promise only as long as it served her purpose.

“Say something,” he demanded.

She took a deep breath and knit her fingers together in her lap. “What do you want me to say?”

“Tell me she’s lying.”

Sarah wished she could. Just as she wished she could tell him the entire truth. Why she left. Lyssa. All of it. But she knew now she couldn’t. “Reece, no matter what I tell you, you’re going to believe what you want.” And if I tell you about your daughter, I’ll lose her, too.

“What about the other man?”

She fought her growing nausea. “The man?”

“The one you left me for. Or was that a lie, too?”

“What do you think?”

He didn’t have to answer. The look in his eyes said it all. He thought he knew the truth. His mother and wife had both betrayed him in more ways than one. Sarah had all she could do to keep from reaching out to him, from trying to explain—even though she knew it wouldn’t do any good. There was so much anger in him. Even if he listened to her explanation, she doubted the truth would make any difference.

He turned away again, staring out the large plate-glass window as if he could see something beyond the darkness and their reflections.

“You’re a teacher,” he said finally.

Sarah nodded. “Yes. I teach at Oaksburg High School. Why?”

He didn’t answer for several minutes, keeping his eyes focused on the dark world outside the diner. Then he turned and looked at her again, his eyes bleak and haunted.

“My son,” he started, and then corrected himself, “our son needs a tutor.”

It took a moment for Reece’s words to register. Even then, Sarah feared she’d misunderstood. “A tutor?”

“Someone qualified to teach sixth-grade math and English.”

She held herself back, hoping, yet afraid to jump to any conclusions. “What does that have to do with me?”

“I want to hire you for the summer.”

Relief swept through her. She was going to see her son. “Yes. I mean, I’m qualified. And—”

“There are conditions,” he said, cutting her off.

“Such as?” She leaned forward, not really caring about his conditions. All that mattered was she would be spending time with Drew, working with him, teaching him.

“First of all, I’m going to check and verify your qualifications.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Also, besides tutoring, you’ll have to monitor Drew’s meals and insulin injections. He’s been—” Reece hesitated as if searching for the right word “—careless lately.”

Sarah nodded, remembering Millie’s disturbing letter.

“Mother is going back East for the summer,” Reece continued. “And Millie has enough to worry about without constantly keeping an eye on Drew.”

“Okay.” Sarah had come here to help her son, and Reece was giving her that chance. Then a disturbing question surfaced in her thoughts. “Wait a minute.” She leaned back and crossed her arms. “Why are you doing this?” A few minutes ago, she’d have sworn he’d never let her near Drew again.

Reece shifted, the hard plastic seat crackling beneath him. “I told you. Drew needs a tutor.”

“But why me?” She studied his face, looking for the truth behind his words. “This afternoon, you made it clear you didn’t want me anywhere near Drew. And tonight, after what you found out about …” She couldn’t make herself mention the money. “What made you change your mind?”

“I didn’t.”

His features remained impassive, and it struck her just how different this man was from the boy she’d loved and married. He was as devastatingly handsome as ever. More so, really. And the chemistry between them still existed. Sitting this close to him, separated by nothing more than the width of a table, she felt his presence, like a low pulse of electricity running through her. But when had he grown so distant, his warm blue eyes turning to glacial ice? When had he forgotten how to smile? She knew better than to examine those questions too closely, because she wasn’t at all sure she was ready to face the answers.

Then she wondered if his coolness was for her benefit, or if he was this way with everyone. Including their son.

“The only other qualified teacher within fifty miles is teaching summer school,” he continued. “Drew has already been kicked out of her classroom.” He paused, and she noticed the slight tightening of his jaw. “If there was anyone else, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

She remained silent, her eyes searching his face. She wanted to believe he lied, that he had other reasons for asking her to work with Drew—like the fact she was his mother. But nothing in Reece’s expression indicated that he thought of her as anything more than a potential employee, the only available teacher within fifty miles. And it hurt.

“Okay,” she said finally. She couldn’t possibly give up a chance to spend time with Drew—whatever Reece’s motives.

“Good. You’ll stay out at the ranch.”

It made sense, though the idea disturbed her. Again, she didn’t want to look too closely at why. She’d be just another hired hand. “When would you like me to start?”

“As soon as possible.”

Sarah thought of Lyssa, and the guilt wound itself tighter within her. But she refused to give in to it. She couldn’t tell Reece about Lyssa. He’d made his feeling for Sarah all too clear. There was no telling what he’d do if he found out she’d kept his daughter from him.

“I’ll need to go back to Oaksburg this weekend to make some arrangements,” she said.

Reece nodded. “Okay.”

“Other than that, I can start tomorrow.”

“Make it after noon. I’ll check your credentials in the morning, along with some other arrangements I need to make.”

She thought he’d leave then, but he made no move to stand. Instead, his attention shifted back to the darkness outside the window. For several moments he remained silent, yet she could sense the tension building in him, like a wildcat ready to spring.

“There’s one other thing,” he said.

He turned back to face her, and she barely kept from rubbing her arms to ward off the sudden chill. “Yes?”

“Drew’s not to know you’re his mother.”

His words struck like a fist, and she recoiled from the impact. This time. she didn’t want to believe she’d heard him correctly as anger quickly replaced her initial surprise.

“You bastard!”

Reece’s eyes narrowed and he leaned toward her, his voice sharp and bitter. “I’m not the one who walked out on him eleven years ago.”

“And this is your way of punishing me?” She couldn’t believe he was doing this, that he could be this vindictive.

“This isn’t about you, Sarah. It’s about Drew. He needs a tutor, and you’re convenient. The last thing he needs right now is his long-lost mother waltzing back into his life.”

“Maybe that’s exactly what he does need.”

“I doubt it.” He sat back with a smug smile. “He thinks you’re dead.”