Once a Wife by Patricia Keelyn

CHAPTER FOUR

“What did you say?”

The pain on Sarah’s face nearly leveled him. He hadn’t expected it, nor his own reaction to it. He glanced outside, unable to look at her, fighting the urge to move beside her and pull her into his arms. He wanted to apologize and tell her everything would be okay.

Then he reminded himself of what she’d done, how she’d betrayed both him and Drew. He’d only done what he’d had to do for his son. Turning back to meet her gaze, he said, “Drew believes his mother is dead.”

“How … ?” Her voice trembled.

“How could I? It was very easy, Sarah.” Resting his arms on the table, he leaned forward. “The first time my son asked about his mother, I told him she’d died when he was nine months old.”

She managed to shut down, to mask the pain he’d seen on her face. But her eyes … damn if her eyes didn’t betray her. They’d come alive, betraying the roil of emotions behind her expressionless features. There was more than pain now. There was anger, as well. “You had no right,” she said.

“I had every right. You left. So the way I see things, you gave up any say in the matter. I did what I thought was best for my son.” He pushed himself out of the booth and stood, towering over her. “If it hurts you to be around him without telling him who you are, well, I can live with that. Can you?”

Sarah lifted her chin to look up at him, and he could almost see her fighting for control.

“So,” he said, “do you want the job or not?”

“What’s to keep me from telling him, anyway?”

Reece leaned over and placed his hands on the table, inches from hers. “I guarantee you’ll never see him again if you do.” He let that sink in a moment and then turned and walked out of the diner, unwilling to look at her one more time.

He refused to admit the power this woman still had over him, the momentary need he’d felt to pull her into his arms and comfort her. To tell her everything would be all right, for God’s sake. She’d nearly destroyed him eleven years ago when she walked away, and he couldn’t let that happen again.

And yet, he felt nothing but disgust at himself for the way he’d just treated her. He’d purposely struck out at her, wanting to hurt her for what she’d done. For leaving him and Drew. For never really caring about them to begin with. His plan had backfired, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and the memory of her dark pain-filled eyes in his heart.

“Damn,” he said as he climbed into his truck and slammed the door behind him. He sat for a moment, finally able to look back at her, now that he’d put some distance between them. He watched her through the large plate-glass window, still sitting in the booth where he’d left her, stiff and motionless, and as proud as ever.

He could have broken it to her easily. He could have explained, but he hadn’t. Instead, he’d let her think he’d told Drew she was dead out of spite, as a way to strike back at her.

“Damn,” he said again, slamming his hand against the steering wheel before starting the engine.

Reece hardly remembered the drive back to the ranch. There was nothing but a churn of emotions, feelings that ranged from anger at himself and Sarah to a deep longing for something that had never been. He didn’t even try to sort it all out. The emotions were too fresh, the turmoil too recent. He just drove, letting it wash over him.

When he pulled into the yard, it was nearly midnight. The house was dark, but Michelle’s car still sat in front. She must have decided to stay the night. Probably Elizabeth had spent most of the evening bending her future daughter-in-law’s ear.

He entered through the kitchen and made his way quietly through the house, heading for the stairs. He’d noticed the single light coming from the living room, but he had no intention of stopping.

He didn’t want to see or talk to anyone else tonight.

“Reece.” Michelle’s soft voice caught him just as he put his foot on the first step. Reluctantly, he turned to see her silhouetted in the doorway. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Can we talk tomorrow, Michelle?” He wanted a hot shower and about ten hours of uninterrupted sleep. “It’s been one hell of a long day.”

She crossed her arms. “For everyone.”

Reece sighed. He knew that look. His shower and bed would have to wait until Michelle had her say. And to be honest, he owed her that much. “Okay,” he said. “I guess I could use a nightcap.”

Michelle nodded and headed back into the living room.

“Want something?” he asked as he crossed to the bar.

“No, thanks.” Michelle settled onto a chair next to the only lamp on in the room. Reece noticed the law books and yellow legal pads on the table and wondered if she ever stopped working.

“You went to see her, didn’t you?” Michelle asked without preamble.

The question surprised him, and Reece looked up from the glass he’d just filled with scotch. Michelle watched him with an expression he’d never seen on her face before. When he’d stormed out of the house after his mother had admitted giving Sarah money, he hadn’t been sure of his intentions. It had taken the long drive into Devils Corner before he’d known he was going to ask Sarah to tutor Drew. Yet Michelle had guessed, and she didn’t look entirely happy about it.

He crossed the room and sat on the couch across from her. “I asked Sarah to tutor Drew this summer.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Reece sank further into the couch, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back. Damn, he was tired. “Hell, I don’t know. I know I needed to do something.”

“Your mother’s not going to be happy.”

Yeah, Elizabeth would be angry. She was going to be even angrier when she found out he was going to send her back East for the summer. She’d planned to go anyway, but not for a few weeks. At the moment, he didn’t give a damn about his mother’s anger. Eleven years ago, she’d gone behind his back and paid his wife to leave him. He wasn’t at all sure he’d ever be able to forgive Elizabeth for that. And he knew he’d never be able to forgive Sarah for taking the money. Then he remembered Michelle and opened his eyes.

“What about you, Michelle?” He sat a little straighter. She was acting strange, and he was suddenly worried about how all this would affect her. “Is it going to bother you having Sarah here?”

She let out a short laugh and abandoned her chair. “Well, it wouldn’t be my first choice.”

“Michelle—”

She turned back to him and held up a hand to silence him. “Reece, we’ve always been honest with each other. From the very beginning, our plans to marry have been … convenient. For both of us. I’m just worried about you. I’m your friend, and I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Her concern touched him. “That was a long time ago, Michelle.”

“Yes, but—”

“My feelings for Sarah died when she walked out on us.” The words slipped easily from his mouth, but he wondered if there was any truth in them.

“Did they?” Michelle voiced his own question, but before he could reassure either of them, she moved over and sat next to him on the couch. “You’ve never told Drew anything about her, have you?”

“Not much.” Reece sipped at the scotch he’d almost forgotten he held in his hand, not particularly anxious to get into this—though he knew he really had no choice. “Actually, we’ve never told him anything. Except …”

“Except?”

He closed his eyes again for a moment. If he did this right, maybe she’d understand. “I wasn’t around much when Drew first started asking about his mother. My father had recently died, and I had my hands full trying to run the ranch.” It had been a difficult time for him, but not an unhappy one. He’d been training to take over the ranch from the time he could toddle out to the barn, and his dad had lifted him onto the back of his first cow pony.

“Mother managed to deflect Drew’s questions for some time,” he said. “But eventually she let me know what was going on, and we had to decide how much to tell him.” Reece sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. “I didn’t know what to say to him. I mean, how do you tell a five-year-old child that his mother abandoned him?”

“So what did you do?” Michelle’s voice sounded strained.

He hesitated again, but silence wouldn’t change things. And Michelle would find out sooner or later. “We told Drew his mother had died when he was an infant.”

“Oh, my God.” He felt Michelle’s withdrawal as surely as if she’d physically moved away from him.

“I thought it was kinder than telling him the truth.”

She looked stricken. “All the times I’ve talked to Drew, he’s never—”

Reece shook his head. “He doesn’t ask about her much anymore.” Except today when he met Sarah. “And he almost never talks about her.”

For several long moments, neither of them spoke. Reece watched Michelle, wishing he knew what she was thinking. He could almost see that fantastically logical brain of hers sorting through all the facts. Then she asked, “Didn’t it ever occur to you that Sarah might come back one day, wanting to meet her son?”

It hadn’t. Although in the beginning, he’d dreamed of it. Of her. Coming to him and telling him it had all been a mistake. A terrible mistake. “I didn’t think about it that way. At the time, when Sarah left, I was just so …”

“Hurt?”

“I was going to say angry.”

Michelle sighed and sank back into the thick cushions. “I don’t know what to think about this, Reece. I mean, I understand your reasoning at the time …”

Reece smiled gently and reached over to take her hand. “I don’t deserve you.”

Michelle returned his smile and gave his hand a squeeze. “And don’t you forget it.” Then she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before disentangling her hand from his and rising from the couch.

“We don’t have to make a decision about the campaign for a couple of months yet,” she said, changing the subject.

She moved to the table, where she’d evidently been working before he came in, and started gathering her things. “Who knows, maybe this will work out for the best. Sarah is Drew’s mother. If anyone can get through to him, I suppose she can.” She turned back to Reece, her arms loaded with books and legal pads. “It’ll be good for the two of them to get to know each other.”

“Wait a minute.” Reece straightened and set down his scotch. “I haven’t changed my mind about Drew and Sarah. I’ve asked her not to tell him the truth.”

“What?”

“It would be too traumatic for him. Especially now.”

For a moment, Michelle remained silent. Then she said, “Reece, you can’t do this.” She took a step toward him. “I understand why you and Elizabeth told him what you did when he was a little boy, but now—”

“The only thing that’s changed now is that Sarah is here.”

Michelle looked doubtful.

“Think about it.” Reece sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “What would it do to Drew if we told him the truth now? Now, while he’s having trouble with school and fighting his diabetes. Do you think he’d respond to her tutoring him?”

“I don’t know. But how do you plan to keep this a secret? There must be people around who know her.”

Reece rose from the couch and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I brought Sarah out here once. Twelve years ago. None of the hands knew her. Hell, none of them even saw her. And Mother and Father certainly never talked about her. So the only one who ever met her was Millie.”

“What about in town?”

Reece paced to the stone fireplace before turning back to face her. “No one. Oh, there might be one or two of my old high-school buddies who may have seen her at one of the rodeos. But Sarah and I kept our relationship pretty quiet. I doubt if they’d even remember her, much less make the connection between her and Drew. Even if they did, the chances of Drew running into any of them are pretty slim.”

“What about her name? Won’t Drew notice that his new tutor, who you just happened to know in high school, has the same name as his mother?” She paused. “He does know his mother’s name, doesn’t he?”

Reece ran his hand through his hair. “He knows her name, but Sarah is fairly common. It could be just coincidence.”

“You’re taking a big chance. If Drew finds out …”

“I have to risk it.”

Shaking her head, she started to turn away and then stopped. “You’re just going to let him think she’s a stranger.”

“I’m doing this for Drew. For my son.”

Again, she seemed to hesitate before saying, “If you believe that, Reece Colby, you’re a much bigger fool than I ever thought.” With that, she turned and left him alone.

When Sarah pulled into the yard of the Crooked C the next afternoon, she spotted Drew immediately. He stood in the center of the main corral, holding the head of a small but beautifully formed mare, while a tall cowboy groomed her. Stopping the car, she sat for a moment and watched her son handle the skittish animal.

He had a gift. Like Lyssa.

Even from this distance, she could see it—his confidence and ease while holding the mare’s head, calming her. Though Sarah couldn’t hear him, she’d have bet he was making meaningless soothing sounds that let the animal know no harm would come to her.

Pride welled within her, and Sarah wanted to go to him and tell him so. But Reece’s ultimatum and her own decision eleven years ago had taken that option from her. Now she’d have to live with the consequences of both.

She drove farther on and, as she’d done yesterday, parked near the back of the house. Except for Drew and the cowboy working in the corral, the ranch seemed deserted. Although she couldn’t really say what else she’d expected. Certainly not Reece coming out to greet her.

And a part of her was grateful.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to face him. It had taken half the night to get her pain under control. A little extra time to deal with things could only help.

As before, she went around to the kitchen door and knocked.

Today, Millie opened the door almost immediately. “Come on in,” she said. “I’ve been expecting you.”

Sarah stepped inside. “Glad someone is.”

Millie chuckled and took Sarah’s small suitcase from her and deposited it on the floor next to the back stairs. “You always did have a way of stirring things up.”

“Thanks, Millie.” Sarah returned the older woman’s grin. “That makes me feel a whole lot better about being here.”

Millie’s smile broadened. “Reece has been stomping around all morning, arguing with Mrs. Colby and delivering ultimatums to Drew.”

“Maybe I should just tiptoe back out the door before anyone else knows I’m here.”

“Not on your life.” Millie slipped an arm through Sarah’s and, grabbing her suitcase, led her up the stairs. “This place needs a little excitement. Things have been awfully dull around here for too long. And that boy of yours …” Millie stopped at the top of the stairs and shook her head.

“Reece doesn’t want Drew to know—”

Millie cut her off with the wave of a hand. “I know all about what Reece wants and doesn’t want.” She leaned toward Sarah as if in confidence, but her voice lost none of its volume. “I never approved of what they told that boy to begin with. But the man never did learn to think before he spoke. Then he was always too damn proud to admit when he was wrong.”

Sarah glanced nervously down the hallway, wondering who might be within earshot of Millie’s very vocal opinions. Evidently, she didn’t care who heard her. Sarah wondered why she’d been worried that Millie might endanger her job by sending letters about Drew. Obviously, Millie herself had no such fears.

“Come on,” she said, leading Sarah into a spacious sun-filled room. “Here we go.”

Sarah glanced around at the beautifully appointed room, with its massive four-poster bed and handcrafted furniture of bleached oak. A white eyelet spread covered the bed, with matching curtains fluttering at the windows. The hardwood floor gleamed to perfection, with only an occasional braided rug hiding its beauty. Sarah had never had a room like this, never even spent the night in one.

“Is this okay?” Millie asked.

Sarah turned and grinned at the older woman. “Are you kidding? It’s beautiful.”

Millie smiled broadly and moved to smooth an invisible wrinkle from the pristine bedspread. “It’s always been one of my favorite rooms. A little feminine for the boys, and not quite fussy enough for Mrs. Colby.”

“It’s perfect,” Sarah assured her.

“Well,” Millie said, “I’ll let you get settled. The bathroom’s in there.” She nodded toward a closed door on the left side of the room. “There’s fresh towels and everything you should need, but just holler if you want anything else.”

A little overwhelmed, Sarah merely nodded.

Millie moved to leave, but stopped at the door and turned around. “I’m glad you’re here, Sarah. That boy needs you.”

The unexpected show of support almost broke Sarah’s control, and she had to fight back the sudden swell of tears. Forcing a smile, she said, “Thanks, Millie.”

The older woman pressed her lips together, nodded, and headed back down the stairs.

Sarah sat on the edge of the bed, letting her gaze drift around the room, taking a moment to enjoy its charm. She thought of Lyssa, three hundred miles away on the Wind River Reservation. She would love this room. Sarah missed her already.

Her thoughts drifted easily to the next few weeks and what she faced. She knew she could win Drew over. Children responded to her, and this boy was her son. She would get him caught up in schoolwork and figure out what was bothering him. Why he toyed with his health. She wasn’t sure she could fix his problems, but she never doubted for a moment that she could determine the source.

It was Reece who worried her.

She couldn’t pretend he didn’t affect her. His presence would be a constant reminder of what they’d once shared and what she’d thrown away. Avoiding him would be next to impossible, but she knew that was exactly what she would do. Had to do, if she wanted to help her son and leave here with her heart still in one piece.

“So, you’ve finally gotten what you wanted.” Startled, Sarah turned at the sound of her ex-mother-in-law’s voice. “Hello, Elizabeth.”

“It’s Mrs. Colby to you,” Elizabeth said as she stepped into the room.

The eighteen-year-old Sarah would never have addressed the older woman as anything else. But Sarah was no longer eighteen. Rising from the bed, she asked, “And what exactly is it that I’ve always wanted?”

Elizabeth frowned. “To live at the Crooked C of course.”

“Is that so?”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.” Sarah sighed and picked up her small suitcase, setting it on the bed. She’d hoped that she and her son’s grandmother could at least have some peace between them. After all, Sarah had only come to help, not take Drew away. Evidently, Elizabeth Colby wasn’t buying it.

For several minutes, neither spoke, and the silence hung heavily between them. Sarah started unpacking, arranging her things in the dresser, trying to ignore the other woman while breathing deeply to remain calm.

Then Elizabeth broke the silence in a venom-filled voice. “We had a deal.”

Sarah faced her, keeping the image of Drew firmly in her mind. Her son needed her, and that thought alone gave her the strength to face whatever Elizabeth Colby threw at her. “And I’ve kept my end of the deal for eleven years.”

“There was no time limit.”

Sarah refused to be intimidated. “My son needs me.”

“Since when?”

“Since he began failing courses in school and missing meals.” Anger replaced her earlier reserve. She’d left her son in this woman’s care. “Since he started endangering his own life by ignoring his medical needs.” Taking a step forward, she fought Elizabeth on her own terms, with the one weapon Sarah knew she possessed. “Since you let him down.”

Her words struck home, and Elizabeth took a shaky step backward. “I never let him down. Who do you think you are to come in here and make accusations like that?”

Sarah sighed and turned back to her suitcase, her anger vanishing as quickly as it had surfaced. All she wanted was to be left in peace to work with Drew. “I’m not a threat to you, Elizabeth.”

“How dare you!” the older woman said, outraged. “Where have you been the past eleven years while I raised your son?”

Sarah sighed. “Obviously, not where I should have been.”

Drew watched the small white car head toward the house. He’d caught a brief glimpse of the woman inside as she passed the corral and thought she didn’t look much like a schoolteacher. Not any he’d had, anyway. She was too young and pretty. Still, he reminded himself, he didn’t need any dumb tutor.

“Pay attention here,” Tod said.

Drew quickly shifted his attention back to the mare, soothing her with a touch. “Sorry.”

“That the tutor your dad hired?”

Drew shrugged. “Guess so.”

“I thought you met her yesterday.”

“Yeah. Sort of.” It had been neat meeting someone who’d known his mom. He’d had a million questions he’d wanted to ask. But that had been yesterday, before he’d known his dad had found out about summer school and all hell had broken loose.

“Seems to me, either you met the woman or you didn’t,” Tod said, giving the mare a few final strokes of the brush.

“She didn’t say she was a teacher.”

“Oh.” Tod dropped the brush and currycomb into the pail he used to carry grooming tools. Then, picking up the bucket, he nodded toward the barn. “We’re done here. Bring her on in.”

Leading the mare, Drew followed Tod inside. “I just don’t see why my dad had to go and bring some stranger here.”

“Seems to me like you brought it on yourself. From what I hear, you scared that new summer-school teacher half to death.”

Drew kicked at a stone. “It was just a couple of those dumb gag rattlesnake eggs.”

“Women are funny about things like that.”

“I guess.”

Tod opened a stall door, and Drew led the mare inside, unhooked the lead rope, and then slipped out. “But why do I need a tutor at all?”

“I don’t think you need me to answer that,” Tod said, closing and bolting the stall door.

“Dad doesn’t want me to be held back.”

“Do you blame him?” Tod headed for the tack room with Drew right behind him.

“He doesn’t want to have a dummy as a son.”

“You’re no dummy, Drew. But my guess is your dad’s worried about you.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Tod stopped and turned, crossing his arms. “Now what’s that supposed to mean?”

“If he’s so worried, how come he’s never here?”

“The man’s got responsibilities.”

Drew rolled his eyes skyward. “Right.”

Tod stood for a moment and then shook his head and continued on toward the tack room. Tod never went on about stuff. Drew could say whatever he wanted, and even when they disagreed, Tod never lectured or held it against him. Once he’d said his piece, he’d let it go. So the two of them fell into an easy silence as Drew helped put away the grooming tools. Sometimes Drew wished Tod were his dad.

“Her name’s Miss Hanson,” Drew said suddenly. “And she said she knew my mom.”

“That so?” Tod kept on with his work.

“Think she’ll tell me about her?”

“Don’t know why not.”

“My mom’s dead, you know.”

Tod’s hand stilled in the process of returning the lead rope to its proper peg. “Yeah, Drew, I know. And I’m real sorry.”

“Yeah, me, too.”

Reece had managed to stay away from the house for most of the afternoon. Who could blame him with the morning he’d had? Things had started out bad and only gotten worse. At least Michelle had left first thing, so she didn’t witness his family coming unraveled.

As he expected, his mother had been furious when he told her about Sarah tutoring Drew. She’d wanted to cancel her trip back East, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted her out of the house. Elizabeth had argued and then cried—always her last resort when she didn’t get her way. But in the end, there was no changing Reece’s mind. So now he’d earned the silent treatment. Which was just fine with him.

Drew hadn’t been much happier. Evidently, he’d envisioned getting off scot-free, with no repercussions for failing two subjects and then getting kicked out of summer school. Reece corrected that misconception. Drew was to spend four hours a day on schoolwork. He, at least, had accepted his father’s decision faster than his grandmother had. He’d skipped the arguing and crying stages and moved straight to sulking.

Leaving instructions with Millie to get Sarah settled when she arrived, Reece had headed out to check on some fencing that needed repair. Normally, Tod would have had one of the hired hands take care of it, but Reece jumped at the chance to get away from the house.

Now he couldn’t put it off any longer. Millie served dinner at six, and it was time for Reece to face them all. His indignant mother. His sulking son. And Sarah.