Home to Stay by Maryann Jordan
13
“You’re exhausted, Lucy. Why don’t you close your eyes and try to get some sleep?”
“I know I should, but I don’t want to. When I close my eyes, I feel yukky. Sick with anger, nerves, frustration. We’ve got at least three hours to go. I’d rather stay awake and talk to you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I feel a lot better having some water, and to be honest, as soon as we crossed over the border, I feel like there’s less of a threat. I suppose that’s silly, but…”
“No, it’s not silly at all. Certainly, their reach can be far, but we should be safe.”
She shifted in her seat, twisting more to face him. “Can I ask who you were reporting to?”
He kept his eyes on the road, occasionally glancing to the side, finding her attention focused directly on him. “I told you that I had a lead on a job in security. I’ve met with them, and it looks like that’s going to move forward and I’ll become an employee. I’m not on their payroll yet, but it turns out that I knew one of them from the military. So, after you called, I felt it was prudent to let someone know what was happening.”
“So, you called your friend? The one who works for the security company?”
“Yes. And he let the others know what was happening. They had the resources that helped me get to you quicker.”
She reached over and placed her hand on his arm. “I had no idea anyone else would be involved.”
With one hand still on the steering wheel, he reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “I can handle things on my own, but it felt better to have a team behind me. Plus, I wanted to make sure what I was walking into. I’m used to planning missions before going in, and as much as I wanted to get to you, I had to know what the threat was.”
“Who are they, John?”
“The Minotaurs are an outlaw biker gang that run drugs and guns in Canada, sometimes making their way down across the border. The Hell’s Angels have taken over most of the biker gangs in Canada, but for some reason, with the Minotaurs, they formed a partnership.”
Lucy didn’t say anything, and he swung his head to the side, searching her expression. She turned her face back toward the windshield, her mouth opened as she sputtered before finally forming words. “And this is who Paula has literally gotten in bed with?”
“I don’t know what to tell you. If she knows what they are and what they’re doing, then as far as I’m concerned, she’s an accessory to everything that was going on. If she thinks she’s just playing on the wild side, then she’s going to get burned, and I’m fuckin’ pissed that she’s willing to let you get burned also. And if she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her behavior—or theirs—then she really is stupid.”
“I don’t even want to think about her right now.” Lucy remained quiet for a few minutes, finally sighing heavily and leaning her head against the headrest. She pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. “She hasn’t even texted me. Hasn’t asked how I am, or if she made it to the hotel, asked where I am.” Looking over at him, she asked, “What do I do?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say ‘fuck her’, but he pinched his lips together for a few seconds. “Send her a text and tell her that you called a friend to pick you up and that you’re heading home.”
Her fingers tapped out the message. “Anything else?”
“No. Don’t engage. Don’t accuse, don’t ask why. If she texts you back, don’t reply.”
She shoved her phone back into her bag and dropped it onto the floorboard near her feet.
“I hate to make you go into more details, but when you can, I need to know what you saw. I want to call this in so you only have to go over it once. Can you do that?” She nodded, but he pushed. “Lucy, I want to hear you say it.”
“Yes, John. I’ll tell you and… um… whoever I need to about what I saw. No one knows I was in the room, so it can’t be traced back to me. Well, I don’t think it can. I guess that depends on if Paula told anyone that I might be there.” She lifted her hand to her forehead. “God, all this gives me a headache.” Sucking in a deep breath, she nodded as she looked at him. “Okay, let’s do this.”
Using the number he’d been given, he called Bray. “She’s ready to talk.”
“Okay, good. Um… Lucy? I’m a friend of John’s, and you’re on speaker with some coworkers of mine. We just need to know what you saw.”
He glanced to the side, seeing her lips pull in, and her eyes sought his. Reaching over, he held her hand. “Just talk like you’re talking to me, Lucy. It’s fine, I promise.”
“O… okay,” she said, haltingly at first. She kept her face toward him as he continued to hold her hand. She quickly described what had happened at the concert and how she ended up at the hotel. “There was a leather bag on the bed that looked kind of like a large backpack. That was what I noticed first. It was open and there were some clothes scattered… a pair of jeans, a couple of T-shirts. There was a black leather jacket tossed on the bed as well. That’s when I saw the same insignia as what Griz had worn. I was in shock that I had possibly been given the wrong room key and just stood there for a few seconds trying to make sense of it all.”
Prodding, John asked, “What else was in the room? On the table.”
She licked her lips and said, “There was a beer bottle. A stack of money… like you see in movies where the bills were rubber-banded together. I have no idea how much or what denominations, but there were at least four or five banded stacks. I saw three guns… um, I don’t know anything about guns, but they were handguns. And then there were several plastic baggies like you put sandwiches in and they were filled with white powder. I assumed drugs, but I can’t say for sure.”
“Lucy, you’re doing great,” Bray said. “The most important thing is that you’re safe, and John’s got you and bringing you home. He’s the best and you’re in good hands.”
John’s chest swelled with pride hearing Bray’s commendation, but he gave her hand another squeeze. “Got to tell you all that the real hero is Lucy. She kept her cool, called me, stayed off their radar, and even hid when she thought she might be discovered. Honest to God, she’s amazing.”
Bray chuckled and added, “Then Lucy, our hats are off to you. Now, get some sleep and let John take care of everything.”
The call disconnected, and for several minutes, they traveled down the dark road, the black forest on either side pressing in with only the headlights in front of them providing illumination. He wondered if she was falling asleep, hoping she would rest but wishing they’d had more time to talk.
She shifted again, then said, “Your friend is right. You really are my hero, you know. I’d love to know more about you, John, but the last time I asked it didn’t go so well.”
A heavy sigh left his lips, and he winced at the memory. “Lucy, I’m sorry. I was an ass.”
She barked out a combination snort-laugh and shook her head. “You were not an ass.”
He thought the sound of her laughter was adorable and would have disagreed with her assessment but was glad she was giving him another chance. He hated talking about himself but knew if he was ever going to have a chance with her, he needed to get over his fuckin’ hang-ups and talk. “It’s been hard coming back home the way I did. I’ve been home to visit but never home to stay. Considering it wasn’t by choice, at least not initially, I was struggling.”
“So, Maine was a place you came to because of your grandparents?”
“Yeah. As an Army family, we moved around a lot, but Mom couldn’t hack it. My parents were young when they got married, had me just two years later. I think Mom thought it was going to be exciting being married to someone in the Army. A chance to travel and see new places. I think she was ready to escape the little town she grew up in. That happened, but I can remember my parents fighting almost every time we had to pack up and move. Mom would cry and want to know why we couldn’t stay somewhere longer. She cried when we got to a place and said she didn’t know anyone and didn’t have any friends. She cried and said she was tired of packing and unpacking, tired of on-base housing or trying to find an apartment somewhere. And then Dad would get called up for an overseas duty that was unaccompanied and be gone for six to twelve months.” He sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. “I think I struggled for many years with her unhappiness. I used to think that I should have been able to do something to make her happier, but she was unhappy in her marriage and unhappy with her life.”
“No, John. You were just a child. And it’s not a child’s responsibility to make their parent’s life happy.”
“I know she loved me, but it just wasn’t enough.”
Lucy’s hand landed on his leg, her voice heavy. “Oh, I’m so sorry you carry the burden that was never yours to carry.”
He dropped his right hand to hers, and she twisted her fingers around to link through his. As difficult as the topic of conversation was, the feel of her palm against his warmed him straight through to his heart.
“To be honest, I don’t think it’s that uncommon for military families. All the kids I knew were constantly moving, and I knew more than one whose parents split up. But I had no idea that’s what Mom was thinking of until I was about ten years old and she simply left. I came home from school and saw her packing and wondered if we were having another move. I asked her where we were going and she looked up, tears in her eyes, and told me that we weren’t going anywhere but she needed a break. I thought maybe she was going to visit relatives, but she left and didn’t come back.”
Lucy’s fingers flexed against his. “I simply can’t imagine that. My family wasn’t perfect, but my parents love each other and made sure that my brother and I knew that. But what a horrible thing for her to do to you.”
“I struggled with it for many years. I ended up spending more and more time with my grandparents, and it was my grandmother who finally explained to me that none of this was my fault. She said my mom was a good woman who simply had been very unhappy as a military wife. So unhappy that she felt the only thing she could do was leave.”
Lucy shook her head, angry vibes coming from her. “I don’t understand. She didn’t just leave her marriage. She left her child! I can’t even believe that. To leave and not have a continued relationship with you.” She heaved out a breath that sounded a lot like righteous indignation. “Can I ask where she is now?”
“I used to ask about her but my dad just said he didn’t know. It was my grandmother who told me several years later that Mom had died of breast cancer. She’d remarried but never had more children.”
“Oh… now I’m even more sorry. How tragic for everyone. How did your dad deal?”
Thinking for a moment, John tried to mesh his thoughts with his memories. “My dad was a good guy but he was gone a lot. I don’t know what kind of relationship we would’ve had if he had lived, but I’d like to think that we would have forged some kind of friendship, at least based on mutual military service. But as a ten-year-old kid, he was angry that Mom left and that it made things a lot harder for him. Sometimes, I wondered if anyone even saw me.” He had no idea where that last sentence came from, having never verbalized that thought before, but somehow, with Lucy, it was so easy to talk.
“You stayed quiet, hoping if you didn’t rock the boat, your Mom would be happier. And then you stayed quiet, not wanting to rock the boat to make things easier on your dad.”
He nodded, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. “I think you’re right.” He glanced at a road sign for an upcoming town and said, “We’ll find an all-night gas station. We can go to the restroom, grab some food, and I can fill up the SUV.”
Nodding, she smiled as she pulled her hand away, and the cool air swept over his palm as he immediately missed her warm touch. It only took five minutes for him to find an open convenience store. He filled the tank before escorting her inside. He checked the hall and nodded for her to enter the ladies' room. “I’ll be right here.”
She soon finished her business and stepped back into the hall. Her hair had been pulled into a messy bun held by a large clip, and her face was bright, a few water droplets still visible on her neck.
He inclined his head toward the men’s room. “Stay here, and I’ll be out in just a moment.” She followed his directions, smiling as he approached a few minutes later. “Let’s get some food.”
She lifted a brow and teased, “Junk food?”
Chuckling, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “Get whatever you want. I’ll grab a couple of their breakfast bagels since it seems like they just made some.”
“Ooh, that sounds good. I’ll get the coffee.”
She moved to the coffee station and began fixing two cups while he ordered breakfast bagels with egg, cheese, and bacon. Paying for everything, they had just made it to the car when the sound of a motorcycle roaring down the street met their ears. She startled, almost dropping the coffee, a gasp rushing from her lips as her wide-eyed, fear-filled gaze shot up to his. The bike continued past and John kept his eyes on it until it was out of sight. Looking down, he said, “Breathe, Lucy. It was no one.”
The air left her lungs and she nodded, mumbling, “Sorry.”
He assisted her into the SUV, then climbed in, handing her the bag of food. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. So far, you’ve handled yourself perfectly.” She offered a smile, and he pulled onto the road, letting her unwrap the bagels to give her something to focus on.
They ate in silence, and when finished, he glanced to the side as she took the wrapper from his and wadded it up, placing it into the bag. “You gonna be able to sleep now?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Now I’m jazzed up on coffee.” After a moment, she turned back to him and asked, “Will you keep talking? Tell me about your dad and then your grandparents?”
He reached out, laying his hand on the console, palm up. It was a simple invitation, and as soon as her fingers linked with his again, he smiled. Once again, the feel of her hand in his sent warmth throughout his body. “I spent the next couple of years in the schools on our base and the summers in Maine with my grandparents. Dad did not get another overseas assignment during that time, and I couldn’t help but think that he sometimes resented the chains of being a single father. When I was thirteen, in Maine for the summer, he was on a training mission in California. There was an accident and his vehicle rolled down an embankment. I remember the man who came to the door to inform my grandparents that my dad had been killed.”
“Just when I think your story can’t get any worse, it does,” Lucy said. “And I feel like I’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ constantly, but I truly am.”
“Thanks, but it was a long time ago. Fuckin’ gutted me at the time, but after twenty years, I just hang on to my good memories and don’t agonize about what could have been.”
“That sounds pretty wise. Why do I get the feeling that perhaps your grandparents helped teach you that?”
Laughing, he said, “Just wait till you meet my grandfather. He’s a goodhearted man, but he believes in moving on through life no matter what it throws at you.”
“I hope I do get to meet him.” She leaned closer, her eyes lit by the lights from the dashboard.
If they were anywhere other than the middle-of-the-road, he’d close the distance and kiss her. Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Then I’ll make sure you do.”
“So, that’s how you made Maine your home.”
“Yep. My mom was still living but there was no way I was going to go live with her. So, my grandparents became my guardians, and I spent the next five years with them. My grandfather was the silent type, my grandmother was full of laughter and love. They were opposites, and yet it worked. It was during those years that I got bigger, played sports, did okay in school, and my grandparents made sure to give me unconditional love. But by the time I graduated, I wanted to join the Army. I suppose psychiatrists would have a field day with that decision, saying that I was trying to get close to my deceased father or trying to recreate my childhood. The fact of the matter was I didn’t want to go to college, I didn’t have a particular career I was interested in, and the Army had a place for me.”
“You talk about your grandfather, but…”
What she was trying to ask sent a squeeze to his chest, more than talking about his mom or his dad. “My grandmother died about ten years ago. Since then, it’s just been my grandfather.”
“And now you since you’re home to stay.”
“Yeah, and now me.”
He glanced at the map on the SUV’s computer screen. “We don’t have far to go.”
Lucy shifted again, her head still facing him but resting against the seat. She yawned widely, her hand lifted to pat her lips.
“You should go to sleep,” he encouraged. “It’s after five a.m.”
“But what about you? I need to keep you talking so that you don’t fall asleep behind the wheel.”
A rueful bark of laughter erupted. “I haven’t talked this much about myself in… in… hell, ever!”
“Well, good,” she mumbled, yawning again. “I like learning more about you.”
“Why?” The question slipped out unbidden, and he winced, wishing he could pull it back.
The silence in the SUV was no longer comfortable but charged with electricity that seemed to zap about the space. She remained quiet for several minutes, and he thought perhaps she’d gone to sleep until she finally spoke.
