Starting Over by Mia Malone

Chapter Fifteen

Rogan

Rosie

“We should talk,” Tony said and tightened the grip he had around my shoulders.

“I know,” I said with a soft sigh.

He was right. We should talk about everything that had happened. About his dad and mine. How we met Richard and what a complete moron he’d been about the house. His mother and sister and whatever groupies he usually had sex with.

And where we would go from here.

Except, we’d had a fantastic morning with the Hagen family, who expertly balanced the razor-thin edge between hilariously crazy and downright insane. I hadn’t laughed that much in a very long time, and I had a feeling Tony hadn’t either.

So, we should talk about us, but I didn’t want to.

I wasn’t sure where that talk would take us, and I just wanted to be carefree and happy for a little while longer.

“Can we pretend, just for today?” I asked quietly.

“Pretend what, babe?”

“That it didn’t happen. I know we need to talk about stuff, but I want some time away from everything. It’s just been too much, and I need –” I stopped my ramble, tried to focus, and turned to look at him. “I want it to be just you and me enjoying life with some friends. There’s a party tonight, and it sounds like it’ll be fun, so can we please take the ostrich approach, stick our heads firmly into the sand, and talk tomorrow instead?”

I barely had time to see the smile in his eyes because he leaned in quickly and kissed me, firmly and thoroughly.

“You’re right, babe,” he said when he finally straightened again. “Fuck everything else, and let’s have some fun. What do you want to do?”

I didn’t have to think about that. It was a lovely summer day with clear blue skies, and the area was beautiful.

“Does someone here have a bike we could borrow?” I asked.

He burst out in loud laughter and swept his arm in a wide arch to indicate the numerous bikes littering the area in front of us.

“Share the joke?” Roddy asked and sat down next to me

Tony told him about my question, and then the was more male and loud laughter.

“Rosie, for fuck’s sake,” Roddy said, and my brows went up.

“Not you too,” I said, voice full of very fake acidity, and went on when he raised a brow, “Tony uses those exact words all the goddamned time.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Roddy said with a grin.

“So can we borrow some bikes or what?”

“Bikes, plural?” Roddy asked. “Will you drive one of them?”

“Of course,” I said haughtily, suddenly seeing the merit of that particular expression.

“You’ll use ours,” he said, and Tony straightened to stare at him.

“Roddy,” he said but stopped when the older man gave him a glare.

“Your woman wants to borrow a bike. She’s not the kind of woman you say no to, and trust me – I have spent my whole adult life around women you do not say no to.” He nodded calmly and finished, “So, I’m offering her a bike.”

Tony nodded slowly, and I nudged Roddy gently.

“I didn’t understand half of that,” I said.

“You’ll be on Gee’s bike. Yours will be the first butt that isn’t hers on it which is why Tony is a bit surprised,” he explained calmly. “Gear up and stop by the house to get the keys when you’re ready to leave.”

Then he walked off, and I stared at his back.

“He likes you,” Tony said quietly.

“I like him too,” I said. “He’s just like –”

I stopped speaking because it had occurred to me that Tony might not interpret what I was about to say as flattering.

“Just like what?” He put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “What, babe?”

“You,” I said quietly. “He’s just like an older version of you.”

“What?”

He looked absolutely dumbfounded, and I hurried to explain.

“In a good way, honey. Roddy is calm and strong, but underneath there’s an edge that is sharp enough to be a little bit scary, except he’s also...” Tony was suddenly looking away, and I saw how he swallowed. “Flirty,” I murmured and added, “Which I like. He’s charming.”

“Jesus, baby,” Tony said hoarsely.

“So, I mean it in a good way,” I insisted.

“You could mean it in a fucking horrible way, and it would still be massive praise.”

“I take it you like Roddy?” I said and tried to gauge his mood.

“Fuck yeah,” he agreed but didn’t smile and looked intently down at me. “Most of my life, baby. Spent most of my life wondering if I’d end up like my asshole of a father. Worried me some when I was younger... And there you are, looking at someone like me, and what you see isn’t the asshole. You’re seeing Roddy Hagen, so what you just told me is that I ended up like one of the best men I know.”

“Baby,” I whispered.

We’d said we wouldn’t talk about serious stuff, but I’d accidentally pushed us straight down that road anyway.

“Fucking fantastic,” he said. Then he suddenly flashed a smile that was so wide and happy I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back at him the same way. “That comment will get you so lucky,” he said and turned us toward the cabin.

“Yeah?” I said, thinking that a quickie before we left would be totally appropriate.

“Outdoor sex,” he said and pushed me inside the tiny house.

“Out –”

I closed my mouth and stared at him.

“We haven’t had that, and it’s about time, don’t you think?”

“Yuh-eah,” I squeaked, and he started laughing.

“You heard Roddy, babe. Gear up.”

When I pulled my chaps up over the jeans, I remembered what we’d done the first time he’d seen me wear them and how it felt when Tony pulled just a little on the waistband. How they had cut into my thighs and the way he sounded when he pushed inside. Heat pooled between my legs, creating a soft quiver that was far from unpleasant.

Tony grinned knowingly at me and opened the door.

“Let’s go,” he said, and I recognized that voice.

“Unfair to use your sex voice on me,” I said as we walked across the open area toward where Roddy and Gee were waiting.

“I have a sex voice?” he asked and stopped walking.

I turned but kept walking backward.

“Yes, you do, Tony Ryan, and you know it,” I snapped. “Come on, we have places to be and things to do.”

He burst out laughing and was still chuckling when we reached two black bikes. Roddy handed us keys, but Gee narrowed her eyes and looked back and forth between us.

“Take the second turn left when you’re out of Rogan, keep going for fifteen minutes or so, and then take a small gravel road up the mountain. There’s an outlook up there that almost no one knows about.”

“Okay,” I said when she seemed to expect a reply.

“Wipe them off before you return them,” she said with a cheeky grin.

Wipe –

She nodded towards her bike, and oh, dear Lord.

This woman did know everything, and Ice had been right.

It was scary.

“We will,” Tony said calmly, albeit with a lip-twitch, but I didn’t trust my voice, so I said absolutely nothing at all.

Then we got on their bikes and headed out of the Thor compound.

The lookout had an open view over the landscape, but I could see why no one knew about it because it was hidden from the road, so if we hadn’t been looking for it, we could easily have passed without noticing. We stood in silence for a while, taking in the view which really was breathtaking. Tony’s hand slowly slid up over my back, through my hair, and then his fingertips caressed my neck.

“Can you do a thing for me?” he asked quietly.

“Sure.”

“Want you in your chaps again.”

My –

Oh.

“Okay,” I heard myself say, and he helped me pull off my chaps and jeans and then to get back into the chaps.

“Come here,” he said hoarsely.

His eyes were on me, but he pulled us over toward the bike he’d borrowed from Roddy. When he’d swung a leg over the saddle, he moved his hand in front of himself.

“Can I –”

I stopped talking and stared at the gorgeous man sitting on a bike in front of me. He was still in his leather jacket, but he’d pulled up his tee and unbuttoned his jeans.

“Back toward me, baby,” he said, and his voice was quiet, but there was a hint of steel in it.

When I was in front of him, he pulled me close and let his hands glide over my hips, down over the leather covering my thighs, and around. One hand continued until he held me firmly in place, and the other cupped my sex.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are anything but absolutely fucking gorgeous,” he rumbled. “I look at what I have in front of me and want to get in there.” He slid a finger between my folds. I was already wet and achy, and then he started flicking my clit. “Want to push deep and let myself come.”

I moaned, ready for him to do just that, so I moved my hips restlessly.

“Take me,” I said. “Now, Tony. Hard and fast.”

“Yeah,” he said and shifted a little behind me, working on his clothes.

When I felt his cock against my behind, I leaned forward and took hold of the handlebar. It wasn’t an easy position, but the way I couldn’t move anywhere added to the pleasure. It felt a little naughty but absolutely safe to be outside, spread out over a bike in my chaps, and I arched my back.

He slid inside in one long thrust but didn’t start moving as I’d expected. Instead, he pulled me back toward him, not all the way but enough for him to hold me up so I didn’t have to balance myself.

“Now,” he grunted. “Gonna fuck you now, Rosie.” He started thrusting hard, and I couldn’t hold back a moan. “That’s right, baby. Let me hear you.”

It didn’t take much for either of us, and when I moaned wildly and let the orgasm thrash through me, his movements became jerky, and he pushed his face into my neck. His hold on me tightened and the sounds he made vibrated against my back when he came too.

We didn’t stay on the bike to let our breaths calm down, and Tony pulled into his arms.

“Thank you,” he murmured into my hair. “Gave you a hickey.”

I blinked into his tee.

“You gave me a hickey,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, sorry.”

His belly trembled slightly, and I leaned back to look into his relaxed, happy face.

“Don’t think I’ve ever had one,” I admitted. He frowned, so I added quickly, “I like being the kind of woman who gets one.”

His face softened, and he squeezed me gently.

“So, you were a hickey-virgin?”

“Yes,” I said primly, but I had realized that my ass was on display, so I added, “One whose butt cheeks are getting cold.”

“Christ,” he said with a snort of laughter. “Get dressed, baby, and I’ll sort out the bike.”

I got into my jeans and chaps feeling absolutely fantastic and turned to tell Tony just that. He was leaning over the bike with his tee in his hand, frowning and looking at it from different angles.

“Hope we haven’t left anything behind, babe, or we’ll hear about it until the end of time.”

I ignored the flash of happiness in my belly and tried to convince myself he just meant the end of our time together.

“Just wipe it off like you usually do,” I said cheekily.

I should perhaps be jealous about all the women he’d been with in the past, but I wasn’t. I’d been with Richard, he’d been with other women, and now we had chosen to be together, so none of the people in our pasts had been what we needed. It wasn’t harder than that as I saw it. We’d debated history and jealousy in one of our book club sessions, and a few of the women in the book club had called my view a very mature outlook. Some of them simply couldn’t see things like that, but Addie nodded and agreed completely. It had been a good discussion anyway, and I was pretty sure putting words on how I felt about it was part of why I wasn’t feeling bad about Lilyanne. Addie had texted me that the goddamned woman had contacted Finn and said that she misunderstood and wanted to apologize. Tony had apparently told Finn that she should just stay the fuck away. Finn was also asked to spread the word that there were no hard feelings, but she wasn’t welcome to Cascadia gatherings for the time being.

“Wipe it off like I usually do?” Tony echoed slowly.

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure you have –”

“Rosie, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered but not in his usual growly way. To my surprise, he winced and added, “Haven’t done it like that before.”

“What?” I asked, wondering if I’d misunderstood. “You’ve never had sex on a bike?”

“No.”

“But you’re a biker,” I said.

“Yeah, babe. Still haven’t done what we just did.”

“So, you were actually a bike-virgin?” I asked with a giggle but saw the look in his eyes and added, “That makes two of us.”

“Christ,” he said. “Wasn’t going to ask but thank you for telling me.”

***

Tony

He woke her up the second morning by grinding his crotch gently against her, she raised her leg, and he slid inside, thrusting gently and taking his time.

When their breaths had slowed down again, he murmured into her hair, “Do you want to talk about shit now?”

“I don’t know,” she said slowly. “Gee said she’d show me how to throw knives, and perhaps we could –” She twisted her head around and added, “Unless you want to?”

He didn’t want to step out of the bubble of relaxed happiness they’d ended up in, and he told her so.

“How long are you comfortable staying here?” he asked. “What about visiting your Nana?”

“I saw her two days ago, and she didn’t recognize me at all, so I talked to the doctors. They say she’s fading away, and it could happen any day, but it could be months.” She was quiet for a little while but added decisively, “The girls are going to see her tomorrow, so I’m okay to stay here for three-four days at least.”

“Good,” he said and gave her cheek a quick caress. “We’ll stay here until Saturday then. How about we talk when we’re back at home instead?” he suggested.

“Home?”

“Hark Falls.”

“Am I going back to Hark Falls with you?” she asked quietly.

That killed his happy mood immediately, and he muttered sourly, “Rosie, for fuck’s sake.”

“I guess I’m going back to Hark Falls with you,” she said, but he saw the slight twitch of her lips and relaxed.

“That would be a pretty fucking accurate guess,” he said.

Then she got out of bed, they had breakfast, and she went over to a big barn where she would spend time with Gee and Ice’s son, who apparently also was good with knives. The days passed by in a soft blur of activities, and Tony spent time on the phone with the men back in Hark Falls, but it mostly felt like being on vacation.

They would have to go back, though, and he wanted to. Their days in Rogan had been great, but it wasn’t real life, and he wanted to go home and create the same bubble of happiness there.

She would want that too, he told himself, and if she didn’t, then he’d figure something out because he was not letting her go.

“Hey,” someone said, which jolted Tony out of his thoughts, and the man who had addressed him chuckled. “Daydreaming?”

“Brooks,” Tony said and indicated the steps up to Black’s house, which was where he was having lunch that day. “Have a seat. Didn’t know you were still here. Black said you were going to Colorado?”

“Leaving tomorrow or the day after.”

They talked about the small town where Black and Ice’s sister Sissy lived, which was where Brooks was going. He didn’t specify the purpose of his visit, and since Black hadn’t mentioned it either, Tony decided not to ask. Brooks had grown up in Thor, so he could head for Wilhelmine just to hang out with Sissy.

“I saw you,” Brooks mumbled suddenly.

“Where?”

“On your bike at the lookout. It’s my land, and I have a cabin up there.”

Tony wasn’t sure what to say and opted for a noncommittal, “Huh.”

“I’m not a creepy perv, so I wasn’t staring.” Brooks grinned crookedly. “Wasn’t looking away either because it was fucking hot.” He shrugged and turned to look at Rosie, who sat with Cas and the woman running the local watering hole. “I guess what I’m saying is that you’re one lucky guy. Don’t mess shit up, Tony.”

“Hey,” Tony said and waited until Brooks looked at him. “I know what I have, and I won’t fuck it up. No need to tell me.”

“Good,” Brooks mumbled. “I like her, and Roddy fucking adores her. Gee told Black, Ice, and me about the shit that went down in Hark Falls, and I just wanted to make sure you had your priorities straight.”

“Every-fucking-one in Cascadia is telling me the same. The old ladies are calling Rosie daily to make sure she’s okay. You’d think we were pair of stupid teenagers the way everyone is acting.”

“Looked like a couple of teenagers to me,” Brooks said. “And on Roddy’s bike too. Ballsy.” He raised a hand to stop Tony from stating the obvious and barked, “For fuck’s sake. No, I did not stare at your balls.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” Black asked and nudged Brooks to give him room to sit down.

“You don’t want to know,” Tony said and glanced at Roddy, who was leaning on the porch rail next to them. “And neither do you.”

“Wasn’t born yesterday, so I can guess,” Roddy said with a shrug and a grin.

Blue came walking and sank down next to them with a satisfied grunt. Tony pulled off a small piece of meat and was about to give it to the dog but figured Blue should work for his meal, so he patted his knee and held the treat out. Ice joined them too, and as they sat there eating and talking in the midday sun, Tony kept pulling off small pieces of grilled ribeye. Rosie had apparently finished her meal and joined them but stopped and stared at him.

“Anthony Martin Ryan,” she said, and there was a snap in her voice that made him wince.

“Yes?” he mumbled and heard Black chuckle.

“You taught my dog to beg.”

“No,” Tony said immediately.

There was a short silence, and then Blue placed a paw on his goddamned knee, which was what had given him a number of tasty treats throughout the lunch.

“And what do you call that?” Rosie asked sarcastically.

“He’s not begging,” Tony said, wishing he hadn’t sounded quite so defensive.

They stared at each other in silence, and then Blue whined. Tony tried to ignore it, but the dog whined again, and it sounded miserable, so he looked down. The complete and utter adoration he saw in the dog’s dark eyes completely destroyed his ambition to hide the fact that he had, in fact, taught Blue to beg.

“Tony.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said, gave Blue the piece he’d already cut off, ignored the chuckles around him, and turned toward his woman. “I might accidentally have taught him to beg, but he’s clever as fuck. He knows the deal.”

“And what deal would that be?”

“Begging is only allowed in Rogan.”

She opened her mouth, closed it again, and pressed her lips together, but not fast enough to hide that her lips twitched with a smile.

“Only outside, Tony,” she said sternly. “Not inside and absolutely not at the table, or we’ll have issues.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “Only outside. Never at the table.”

It looked as if she was about to add more rules, but he was saved by her phone. She looked at it, waved her hand in their general direction, and moved away to answer the call.

“Nice compromise, so like I said,” Brooks murmured. “Lucky guy.”

Tony didn’t answer because Rosie had turned, and his gut did a free fall when he saw her face. She closed her eyes briefly but straightened her shoulders and continued talking.

“No,” Tony said on a long sigh. “Fucking shit.”

“What’s going on?” Roddy asked.

Rosie had closed the call and just stood there with her arms hanging loosely at her sides, looking as if her whole world was destroyed, and Tony knew that, in a way, it was.

“Rosie’s grandmother just passed away,” he said quietly over his shoulder.

A few long steps, and then she was in his arms, sobbing into his chest. He held her tightly, trying to give her his strength, and leaned his head down to put his cheek against her hair.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” he said. “It’s Nana, right?”

“Yes,” she sniffled. “I knew it was coming, but I hoped –” She sucked in air and restarted, “She fell asleep and just didn’t wake up. That’s a good way to go, isn’t it?”

“She’s with your grandfather now. She promised to tell him you’re happy.”

It wasn’t enough, but it was all he could think of to say. They stood there for a little while, but then she took a few deep breaths and tilted her head back to look at him. Her eyes were red, and she had a small streak of mascara under one eye, but she looked calm again.

“What can I do for you?” Tony asked.

“We have to go home,” she said. “There’s no rush, but we’ll have to leave today.”

“Yeah. I’ll pack our bags while you call the girls.” She winced, and he suddenly realized that there would be more phone calls to make. “I’ll call your parents.”

“Tony.”

“If you want to call them, then you should, but I’ll tell you straight, I don’t want you talking to them.”

“I don’t want to talk to either of them. Not right now, anyway.”

“I’ll call them,” he said and added, “Do you want me to be there while you call the girls?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I really don’t want to be alone.”

“Then I’ll be there,” he said, and a single tear ran down her cheek. He wiped it away and pulled her into his arms again. “Just hold on to me, Rosie, and we’ll get through this.”